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True Blood vampire Northman / FRI 2-27-15 / Prefix meaning heavens / Frequent demonstrator of doppler effect / Knot toads parliament / So-called Japanese chess / Classic 1984 film in which most dialogue was ad-libbed / Evolutionary biologist who wrote Panda's Thumb

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Constructor: Julian Lim

Relative difficulty: Medium (Medium-Challenging for me because Tiredness/Stupidity)



THEME: none

Word of the Day: SHOGI (22D: So-called Japanese chess) —
Shogi (将棋 shōgi?) (/ˈʃɡ/Japanese: [ɕo̞ːɡi] or [ɕo̞ːŋi]), also known as Japanese chess or the Generals' Game, is a two-player strategy board game in the same family as Western (international) chesschaturangamakrukshatranj and xiangqi, and is the most popular of a family of chess variants native to JapanShōgi means general's (shō 将) board game (gi 棋).
The earliest predecessor of the game, chaturanga, originated in India in the 6th century, and sometime in the 10th to 12th centuries xiangqi (Chinese chess) was brought to Japan where it spawned a number of variants. Shogi in its present form was played as early as the 16th century, while a direct ancestor without the "drop rule" was recorded from 1210 in a historical document Nichūreki, which is an edited copy of Shōchūreki and Kaichūreki from the late Heian period (c. 1120).
• • •

My normal strategy of throwing down all the short Downs as fast as I can, first answers that come to mind, and then looking back and seeing if I can pick out the long Acrosses with the help of pattern recognition … did not work today, despite the fact that many of my first guesses for the Downs were correct. RISE and ASIA. PEP. RONA and IF AT—all good. But any hope of seeing correct Acrosses was somehow stymied by MAKE (for COST) and ALEC (for ERIC) and a botched Mass. motto word (always sucks to trip on the worst bit of fill in the puzzle) (ENSE). Also, I couldn't remember parliament of OWLS, despite the fact that that was the name of a Batman arc only a few years back (actually, "Court of OWLS"), and despite the fact that my boy Chaucer wrote "The Parliament of FOWLS." Actually, I think it's because of the Chaucer title that I didn't get OWLS, despite the rhyming. Result was sadness and then doubt—I started pulling different little words, some of which were correct. I also forgot that "Spinal Tap" was actually called "THIS IS SPINAL TAP" (14A: Classic 1984 film in which most of the dialogue was ad-libbed), so despite thinking of that movie first, I didn't write it in because, of course, in my head, it "didn't fit." So that whole up-top experience made the puzzle tougher than average for me. But maybe not for more alert people. Here's where I (finally) got started:


Courtesy of the gimme GARP (32A: Robin Williams title role). From here, the bottom was done in under a minute. Seriously. It was the mirror image, the opposite, the world upside down, compared to the north. Probably helped that STEPHEN JAY GOULD (52A: Evolutionary biologist who wrote "The Panda's Thumb") spoke at my college when I was a senior, so I got him off the -LD. Yes, that definitely helped. But after SHALL WE went in (48A: "Ready to go?"), Every Single Short Down off of that was obvious, so the bottom was Monday for me. Ended up getting SPARE THE ROD without ever reading the clue.



From here, the west was easy, but I briefly ran into the problem I feared—not being able to get up into that top part. The problem: MELISMA (20A: Musical phrase in which a single syllable is sung over several notes). Vaguely familiar, now that I look at it, but not in my knowledge base. So I got as far as PSYCHIC and then worried a little. I had wanted TRAMP earlier for 14D: Galumph, so I tried that. Same with ROSEATE. But still … it all felt a bit dicey. But once I got PHONES, finally, this happened.


From there it was ERIC and OWLS and quickly all was done.


This was a good puzzle, I think. I would say that this is *in spite* of its design, which looks cool, but which loads up the puzzle with short answers. And while those have their share of predictable ugliness today [shakes fist at ENSE!], overall, they're pretty clean. The central chunks are chunkily varied, and the long Acrosses up top and down south are nice (nicer up top, so I was happy to end there).
    Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

    Bluebeard's Castle librettist Balázs / SAT 2-28-15 / Linking brainstem part / Bit of headwear in British lingo / Laugh-inducing pic / Stovepipe of WWII / Classic symbol of rebellion / Holder of many diorama / Greasy spoon appliance / Occasion for goat-tying

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    Constructor: Barry C. Silk

    Relative difficulty: Easy



    THEME: none

    Word of the Day: BELA Balázs (53A: "Bluebeard's Castle" librettist Balázs) —
    Béla Balázs (Hungarian: [ˈbeːlɒ ˈbɒlaːʒ]; 4 August 1884, Szeged – 17 May 1949, Budapest), born Herbert Bauer, was a Hungarian-Jewish film criticaesthete, writer and poet. […] He is perhaps best remembered as the librettist of Bluebeard's Castle which he originally wrote for his roommate Zoltán Kodály, who in turn introduced him to the eventual composer of the opera, Béla Bartók. This collaboration continued with the scenario for the ballet The Wooden Prince. (wikipedia)
    • • •

    This puzzle was just OK. I was put off by a series of wonky words that were perhaps supposed to be quaint or trigger some sort of nostalgia, but that struck me as simply WEARISOME. The only thing I enjoy about TITFER (49D: Bit of headwear, in British lingo) is saying "TITFER TOT" (the two words conveniently sit next to one another). Otherwise, that strikes me not as cute but as desperate. PONS… I gotta believe PONS could've been avoided there. It's such a stupid-looking technical term. And anyway, you'd only want to use something like that to hold a great bank of longer answers together, and that's just not what PONS is doing here. It's sitting in a perfectly reworkable area. Then there's FRYOLATOR (67A: Greasy spoon appliance), which I think I'm supposed to find charming and retro. But it feels made-up. Is it a brand name. I eat in greasy spoons from time to time—never heard of it. I feel like it must be what normals call the "fryer" or "deep fryer." Is that right? [...checks…] Ha! Yes! It's listed as an alternate name under the "Deep fryer" entry at wikipedia. Even if I liked that answer, and I don't, too many of the crosses are dreary: SMELTER and SMEARER and ALERO and UTIL and SAN REMO are all zzzzzz. In fact, the only entries I truly enjoyed today were BAZOOKA (14D: "Stovepipe of W.W. II) and PHOTOBOMB (48A: Laugh-inducing pic). Everything else was adequate to dull.

    [In the '80s, we didn't have BLU-RAY. We had this.]
    [R.I.P. Leonard Nimoy]

    My greatest solving coup today came very early, via a (normally unloved) cross-referenced clue. I read 5D: Last name on a 40-Down and decided to check 40-Down. Once I saw that 40-Down was [Holder of many a diorama], I instantly thought SHOEBOX, which instantly suggested MCAN as a possibility.  So I'd only just begun, and this is what my grid looked like:


    I wasn't sure the guessing was going to pay off, but crosses (iron and otherwise) eventually confirmed I was right. This meant that I was going to be starting the grid in earnest from the SW corner—a scenario that almost never occurs. That "X" was the obvious starting point, and sure enough EXERT was easy to get, and that corner was done quickly. Soon, I was into the TITFER PONS morass:


    From here, the fire of my solving prowess spread very quickly through the SE and up the east coast. I zagged back across the grid into the NW and had no trouble sweeping right through it, counterclockwise, back around to DANK. That left just the NE to attend to, and while for a second or two things looked dicey (-MAN -ERS and -OKA weren't looking promising…), I rode to victory on the most '80s answer up there:


    REPO MAN! (12D: One who assumes control by default?). God bless you, Emilio Estevez, wherever you are.


    Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

    1958 space monkey / SUN 3-1-15 / Movie that opened 3/2/1965 / Figure in Sunni/Shia dispute / Culminating point that beauty has attained in sphere of music / Nicki with 2014 hit Anaconda / Crown since 1952 / 1961 Disney villainess

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    Constructor: Finn Vigeland 

    Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium



    THEME:"Noted Anniversary" — Get it? "Noted"? 'Cause of the notes!? It's a "(THE) SOUND OF MUSIC" puzzle with a bunch of related theme answers and a DO RE MI FA SOL LA TI DO music scale running, rebus-wise, from SW to NE

    Theme answers:
    • SALZBURG, AUSTRIA (24A: Setting of 118-Across)
    • JULIE ANDREWS (31A: Star of 118-Across)
    • "THE HILLS ARE ALIVE…" (49A: Opening lyric of 118-Across)
    • RODGERS AND HAMMERSTEIN (68A: Duo behind 118-Across)
    • BEST PICTURE OSCAR (91A: Honor for 118-Across)
    • THE VON TRAPPS (108A: Family upon whom 118-Across is based)
    • "THE SOUND OF MUSIC" (118A: Movie that opened 3/2/1965)
    Word of the Day: HEGIRA (88D: Flight from danger) —
    noun
    1. Muhammad's departure from Mecca to Medina in AD 622, prompted by the opposition of the merchants of Mecca and marking the consolidation of the first Muslim community.
      • the Muslim era reckoned from the Hegira.
        noun: Hegira; noun: Hejira; noun: Hijra
        "the second century of the Hegira"
      • an exodus or migration.
        noun: hegira; plural noun: hegiras (google)
    • • •

    The best part about this was going from thinking "that is the lamest title ever" to "Oh … got it." Still not sure I like the title, but it's not nearly as bad as I first thought, and that simple sensation has helped dispose me mostly favorably toward this thing, despite the fact that it's too straightforward for my taste. The rebus adds a neat wrinkle, but even that is transparent. I've seen some version of the DO RE MI rebus thing in other puzzles, so the second I figured out the "DO" square in the SW, I knew where things were going (though I initially thought the notes might not keep getting higher in the grid, but might instead form a mountain, as in climb EV'RY. That scenario would've put SOL where that "D" is in HARD C, and so forth, back down into the SE corner. But this set-up is, of course, infinitely preferable. Well, preferable. I'm oddly fond of my briefly-imagined notes-make-a-mountain scenario.


    The theme was not hard to figure out at all. I got it this fast:


    Then, while working the crosses on the movie title there, I encountered the weirdness that turned out to be the rebus square "DO" at TO[DO] / [DO]ORS. And that was pretty much that. This puzzle had that thing that I don't really like about tribute puzzles, where the answers are really just assorted trivia that happen to fit into rotationally symmetrical places. Once you grasp the theme, it's just amateur trivia night. Ho-hum. As I say, the scale-rebus added value for sure, and the grid is pretty solidly filled, but overall it was a lowercase "l""like" for me. Hard to stay mad at a beloved picture, JULIE ANDREWS, etc., especially when one is never actually mad in the first place. I'm sure most solvers will enjoy this well-made puzzle that causes them to enjoy a classic American movie on this first (not 2nd, but close) day of March, when thoughts turn to spring, and the possibility of warmth. Good vibes.

    [124A: "Wailing" instrument]

    I didn't like the answer BEST PICTURE OSCAR, which feels contrived. It won BEST PICTURE. Yes, technically, this answer is literally true, but BEST PICTURE is a better crossword answer, just as VON TRAPPS is better than THE VON TRAPPS. This is what I mean about answers being chosen for symmetricality rather than optimality. But it's all defensible. And the constructor gets in some great answers in the line of rebus fire. Never thought I'd be thrilled by OPERA BUF[FA], but I was, and the meta-crosswordical [SOL]VING TIME also gave me a smile (60A: Important factor in a crossword tournament). THE HILLS ARE ALIVE … is a fragment. Absurd. But who cares!? I'm picturing twirling JULIE ANDREWS, so all is right with the world.
      Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

      P.S speaking of important factors in a crossword tournament, the 3rd Annual Finger Lakes Crossword Competition is next week—Saturday, Mar. 7, in Ithaca, NY. I'll be there. If you're an upstater, you should be too. All info here.


      P.P.S. very important news for aspiring constructors and hardcore fans who want insight into the craft of crossword construction. The best constructor on the planet, Patrick Berry, is now offering his "Crossword Constructors Handbook" (formerly Crossword Puzzle Challenges for Dummies) as a .pdf from his website for a mere $10. This deal includes 70 (*seventy*) puzzles in both .pdf and .puz format. Puzzles cover a wide range of difficulty and theme types. Patrick's "For Dummies" book has been infamously out of print (and thus prohibitively expensive) for a long time, so I'm thrilled that now, when someone asks me "Can you recommend a good book on constructing?" I can name a title that's now actually accessible. Seriously, in the world of "books about crosswords," this is the top of the heap. No lie. Get it. Give it. Love it.

      Colorists / MON 3-2-15 / "Momma" cartoonist / Sign between Cancer and Virgo / Peruvian author Mario Vargas _

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      Hey, everyone, it's an Annabel day and boy am I excited! Not only was this a great puzzle, but I went to my first convention this month - Katsucon - and it was loads of fun. I got to meet the creator of one of my favorite webcomics, bought a new poster print for my room, and there were so many amazing costumes! Here I am in mine.*

      Constructor: Andrea Carla Michaels

      Relative difficulty: Easy


      THEME: "Triple L" — Theme words had three L's.

      Theme answers:
      • STILL LIFE (17A: Cézanne's "The Basket of Apples," e.g.)
      • CALL LETTERS (23A: Radio station identification)
      • MELL LAZARUS (51A: "Momma" cartoonist)
      • TWO-L LLAMA (61A: "A beast," according to Ogden Nash)

      Word of the Day: ECHOS (52D: Pioneering 1960s communications satellites) —
      Project Echo was the first passive communications satellite experiment. Each of the two American spacecraft, launched in 1960 and 1964, was a metalizedballoon satellite acting as a passive reflector of microwave signals. Communication signals were bounced off them from one point on Earth to another. The Echo satellite program also provided the astronomical reference points required to accurately locate Moscow. This improved accuracy was sought by the US military for the purpose of targeting intercontinental ballistic missiles. (wikipedia)
      • • •

      Definitely one of the most fun puzzles I've solved in a while. Props to Andrea Carla Michaels for using her own NAMES  for that answer's clue (34A: Andrea, Carla and Michael)! Not to mention PHIAL's spelling;  never even saw that before. But OHGOD, am I ready for the era of ERA, especially with predictable clues like  "measure of time" or "time in history," to be over. Also, I ended up stuck on the northeast corner for a while (for some reason, that corner always trips me up?), but I loved the southwest corner with its proliferation of O's.

      Not a lot to say about the theme. Typicalll, simpllle Monday.

      Bullets:
      • 61A: "A beast," according to Ogden Nash (TWOLLLAMAS) — Okay, how could I see this and not address the fact that the llamas got lloose in Arizona and everyone talked about it so much that #llamadrama becomes a trending hashtag (the best ever, in my opinion) on Twitter? I mean, come on. The llamas were even crossword colors. Here, have a 26-minute long video of the llama chase...because apparently that exists.
      [but the best part is that I rode on a llama at Homestead Gardens once]
        • 31A: Layered hairstyle (SHAG) — I had honestly never heard of a shag before doing this puzzle and had to guess at this one for a while. My mom was shaking her head at me because my sister was watching Scooby-Doo, with Shaggy and his shag haircut, right in front of me. Maybe she's just old. (Rex, don't tell her I said that!!) 
        • 18A: Exams for future attnys. (LSATS) — Omigod you guys, with this word bisecting EMMETT, Elle Wood's love interest, I just couldn't not post some LEGALLY BLONDE!(This is totally what college is going to be like, right?)
        ["but, first you'll need an LSAT score of more than 174" ...see...posting songs from this musical is totally relevant]
        • *9A: Ponzi scheme, e.g. (FRAUD) — Okay, so I didn't actually link to pictures, I just Rickrolled you all. Because, y'know, I'm a fraud. And also because ASTLEY (50D: Rick with the #1 hit "Never Gonna Give You Up") was one of the clues. The Katsucon part wasn't a fraud, though!! That was seriously one of the most fun things I've ever done. I cosplayed (nerd-convention slang for "dressed up as") April Ludgate from Parks and Rec, and my friend was Tom Haverford. Good times.
        Shout-out to MELL LAZARUS, the "Momma" cartoonist, because it's my "Momma"'s birthday on Thursday! I'm sure Rex will send her a BFF present.

        Signed, Annabel Thompson, tired high school student. Live long and prosper. (To Leonard Nimoy's ghost: I'm sorry about that time I put a figurine of you in my shoe.)

        Whitesmith's medium / SUN 3-22-15 / Martin's wife on 1990s sitcom Martin / Facilities overseen by CDC / Captain America portrayer Chris / 2007 film featuring Raphael Leonardo Donatello Michelangelo / Old-fashioned fraternity activity / Down Under marsupial

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        Constructor: Jeremy Newton

        Relative difficulty: Medium



        THEME:"Upsides"— cute, clever title. Why? Because the Across answers at the east and west edges of the grid are CLIMBING / THE WALLS (38A: With 91-Across, super-antsy … or like 24 Across answers in this puzzle?)

        Theme CLIMBERS:
        • STRAW BALE / STRAINED / STRONG DRINKS / ST LEO II 
        • NOTE TO SELF / NOT EVEN A LITTLE / NO TAX / NORTH
        • DECAF TEA / DECALS / DECISION TREE / DENUDES 
        • YOUTUBED / DAUBED / SHARE ONE'S BED / BRAISED
        • LESSER EVIL / TASMANIAN DEVIL / ANVIL / AVAIL
        • PANTY RAID / UNAFRAID / DIGESTIVE AID / LEGAL ID
        Word of the Day: ST LEO II (26A: Pope during the rule of Emperor Constantine IV) —
        Pope Leo II (611 – 28 June 683) reigned from 17 August 682 to his death in 683. / 
        He was a Sicilian by birth (the son of a man named Paulus). He may have ended up being among the many Sicilian clergy in Rome, at that time, due to the Islamic Caliphate attacks on Sicily in the mid-7th century. Though elected pope a few days after the death of Pope St. Agatho (10 January 681), he was not consecrated till after the lapse of a year and seven months (17 August 682). Leo was known as an eloquent preacher who was interested in music, and noted for his charity to the poor. (wikipedia)
        • • •

        This is neatly executed, but purely architectural themes leave me cold. This is, I realize, a matter of taste, and, as I say, I think this one is quite solid. Does what it says it does. Fill is well above average compared to much of what we've seen of late. So I can see how some might find this enjoyable, even though I got bored directly after figuring out the theme. It's just that once you get the theme, then you know what's going to happen. Everywhere. There are no theme answers except the revealer, so no wordplay, no cleverness, no The Reason I Do Crosswords. No fun. But for those of you who admire a good construction stunt, this one seems like it might float your boat, ring your bell, or the like. The analogy I just used (on Twitter) is flavored coffee. I don't drink the stuff. Don't like it. But I know some do, and I assume they enjoy it. So I think of this puzzle as good flavored coffee—if you like that kind of thing, this is a good version of that thing.

        [Underrated album]

        The there was some fill that seemed a little forced, but I assume it was tough to get all those adjacent answers to climb the damn wall. YOUTUBED is just wrong. I am on YouTube every day, and I assure you I have never YOUTUBED. At a bare minimum, it's a transitive verb. You can't just YOUTUBE. Hey, you wanna come over and YOUTUBE? Hot Tub, sure. YOUTUBE, no. TV DAD is iffy, and the Cosby angle (13A: Cliff Huxtable and Ward Cleaver) makes it slightly icky. SHARE ONE'S BED is ridiculous. EAT ONE'S LUNCH! (that's me saying something equally ridiculous, something similarly Not a stand-alone phrase). But overall, I think the fill is quite strong—very light on the Klunkers. I don't think I would've gone with [Ghetto blaster?] for GAT, no matter how clever I thought the wordplay. The ethnic / racial implications are gross. "You know how those poor ethnics are with their loud music (and now, guns)." Ugh. Also, when I google [gat ghetto] I mostly get hits that suggest google thought I meant [gay ghetto]. So the GAT-ghetto connection: not strong. GAT is slang for revolver or pistol. No class / race implications. Crime implications, sure. But why drag the "ghetto" into this? I think I'm balking at what looks like the NYT's indulgence in white racial fantasies. Look, many dictionaries will tell you the phrase "ghetto blaster" ("a large radio and tape recorder that can be carried around, and is often played very loudly in public places") is sometimes considered offensive, so I don't know why you touch it as your base phrase. It's not like the NYT crossword is the most racially inclusive thing in the world. Maybe have less of a tin (and white, and privileged) ear next time.


        Got theme in the NW, when I realized that STRAINED and STRAW both started STRA- (at this point I hadn't even noticed WARTS). Then I looked at theme title, went with my original guess WARTS, and saw exactly what was going on. Shortly there after, I got the whole revealer without much help:


        But after that, the "walls" became just too easy to get. If you could get the "wall" Down, you could nail all the related Acrosses very, very easily. See here:


        After this, I went up into the NE and then just circled back down to SW corner. Pretty uneventful.
          Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

          PS "TMNT" (45A: 2007 film featuring Raphael, Leonardo, Donatello and Michelangelo) stands for "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles." I *know* some of y'all were like "?????"

          French WWI general Ferdinand / MON 3-23-15 / Old Russian autocrat / Hit TV drama starring Gary Sinise / Egyptian cobra / Boat with double-bladed paddle / 1977 hard-rock hit by Ted Nugent / Hajj destination / What bracketologist is caught up in

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          Constructor: Michael Dewey

          Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium (for a Monday)


          THEME: All The Rage — two-word phrases (mostly) where second word is a kind of public uproar:

          Theme answers:
          • KLEPTOMANIA (17A: Compulsion to steal)
          • MARCH MADNESS (23A: What a bracketologist is caught up in)
          • "CAT SCRATCH FEVER" (37A: 1977 hard-rock hit by Ted Nugent)
          • FASHION CRAZE (48A: Miniskirts or oversize sunglasses, once)
          • MEDIA FRENZY (59A: What a major scandal results in)
          Word of the Day: Ferdinand FOCH (26D: French W.W. I general Ferdinand ___) —
          Marshal Ferdinand Foch (French pronunciation: ​[fɔʃ]), (2 October 1851 – 20 March 1929) was a French soldier, military theorist and the Allied Généralissime during the First World War. (wikipedia)
          • • •

          This theme is somewhat timely, given that it's currently the season for MARCH MADNESS, and it's also (coincidentally) the day after I rewatched this 1980 classic for the first time in probably thirty years:

          [This movie came out in 1980. MIT Mystery Hunt started in 1981. Coincidence? Ha.]

          It's pretty straightforward, as themes go. Far more straightforward than most NYT themes. But Monday can be a good stepping-on point for tyros, so if the theme is excessively graspable, no big deal. The grid as a whole is sufficiently lively, so "easy" does not mean "dull" today. I really disliked FOCH in this grid, largely because he seems like a massive outlier, familiarity-wise (in that he lies outside my familiarity entirely, and is probably the least recognizable / generally known answer in this grid by a long shot … though ANYA Seton's fame is sustained almost entirely by crosswords, I think). But I ran my "FOCH sochs!" theory by constructor friends and no one had a problem with it, so it now seems entirely possible that I'm the one who's the outlier. Hmm. The tables are turned. Not sure I like this.


          I flailed (!) a lot around the tail-end of FASHION CRAZE. FASHION didn't trigger any familiar phrases in my brain. I guess FASHION CRAZE is a thing. You gotta get to the "A" in "CRAZE" before google actually recommends the phrase FASHION CRAZE, but it seems familiar enough. Fill is a little crusty around the edges (EEK IBEAM ABATH ONA OKIE ETE USOFA CSINY MGT ANYA CZAR), but it holds up.
            Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

            Queen of Chicago / TUE 3-24-15 / Newspaper publisher Adolph / Drenched with sudden flow / Vampire role for Tom Cruise / Mischievous Norse god / Country with kibbutzim / Downloaded video format / Xmas poem opener

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            Constructor: Robyn Weintraub

            Relative difficulty: Challenging (***for a Tuesday***) (time = roughly 4 minutes)


            THEME: NIGHT (71A: Word that can precede either part of 17-, 25-, 38-, 54- and 63-Across)

            Theme answers:
            • SCHOOL CLUB (17A: Debate team or Model United Nations)
            • LIFELINE (25A: Aid on "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire")
            • TIMETABLE (38A: Commuter's reference guide)
            • SKYLIGHT (54A: Atrium feature)
            • STICK SHIFT (63A: It's not an automatic feature)
            Word of the Day: PARAPET (48A: Shooter's position in a fort) —
            noun
            1. a low protective wall along the edge of a roof, bridge, or balcony. 
              synonyms:balustradebarrierwall
              "Marian leaned over the parapet"
            • • •

            I really thought the "word that can precede" theme-type had been retired, at least semi-officially. I realize that here we get the "both words!" variant of that theme, but even that is now a quite hackneyed concept, one that usually results in not terribly interesting theme answers, and a revealer that's more of a shrug than a revelation. This is a completely satisfactory example of this theme type. Biggish corners, with longish Downs, give the grid at least a little character. Fill is of average quality, and what junk there is (PIS, IAL, DELA, ADDL, etc.) is largely inoffensive. I think if you can somehow add a new twist to this theme type, it might become something more than just an old-fashioned place holder. When the revealer is just [the word in question], whatever that word is, the air kind of goes out of the whole thing.


            Not sure why I was so slow today. SCHOOL CLUB (the least tight of the themers) required all the crosses before CLUB came into view. Couldn't remember how to spell PISTIL, or if PISTIL was even the right word (1D: Pollination part). Brain gave me "stamen and p- p- p- something." I don't think I know that definition of SLUICED (32A: Drenched with a sudden flow). For some reason I associate "sluicing" with a change of direction, not a soaking. My confusion could be the result of a deep aversion to the word "sluice" (it's in the same category as "moist" and "teats" for me…). I never remember that BAHAI is a religion (57D: Mideast religion), mostly because I know nothing about it, so that, combined with the TAX / SSN cross-referenced clues, combined with the somewhat tricky clue on STICK SHIFT (63A: It's not an automatic feature), managed to slow me down some more in the SE. Then the big sticking point was having SUNLIGHT instead of SKYLIGHT at 54A: Atrium feature. Started doubting PARAPET, which I'd been so proud to throw across the grid moments earlier (48A: Shooter's position in a fort). Anyway it wasn't difficult, just slower going (for me) than Tuesdays usually are.
              Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

              [Follow Rex Parker on Twitter / Facebook]

              Brazilian people / WED 3-25-15 / Food additive banned in 1976 / Eight days after nones in ancient Rome / Thou aloft full dazzling Whitman / Film whose sequel is subtitled Sequel / So-called Giant Brain unveiled in 1946

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              Constructor: Jacob Stulberg

              Relative difficulty: Easy-Challenging



              THEME: NUDE DESCENDING A STAIRCASE NO. 2 — circled letters "descend" the grid, spelling out that title, and then two other random themers are thrown in:

              Theme answers:
              • 28D: Like the work spelled out by the circled letters (AVANT-GARDE)
              • 12D: Event at which the work spelled out by the circled letters was first exhibited in America (ARMORY SHOW)
              Word of the Day: DELAWARE / BAY (7A: With 31-Across, Cape May's locale) —
              Delaware Bay is the estuary outlet of the Delaware River on the Northeast seaboard of the United States. Approximately 782 square miles (2,030 km2) in area, the bay's fresh water mixes for many miles with the salt water of the Atlantic Ocean.
              The bay is bordered inland by the States of New Jersey and Delaware, and the Delaware Capes, Cape Henlopen and Cape May, on the Atlantic. The Cape May-Lewes Ferry crosses the Delaware Bay from Cape May, New Jersey, to Lewes, Delaware. Management of ports along the bay is the responsibility of the Delaware River and Bay Authority.

              Delaware Bay
              The shores of the bay are largely composed of salt marshes and mudflats, with only small communities inhabiting the shore of the lower bay. Besides the Delaware, it is fed by numerous smaller rivers and streams, including (from north to south) the Christina RiverAppoquinimink RiverLeipsic RiverSmyrna RiverSt. Jones River, and Murderkill Rivers on the Delaware side, and the Salem RiverCohansey River, and Maurice Rivers on the New Jersey side. Several of the rivers hold protected status for their unique salt marsh wetlands bordering the bay, which serves as a breeding ground for many aquatic species, including horseshoe crabs. The bay is also a prime oystering ground.
              The Delaware Bay was designated a Ramsar Wetland of International Importance on May 20, 1992. It was the first site classified in the Western Hemisphere Shorebird Reserve Network. (wikipedia)
              • • •

              This thing gets points for effort and originality. But it gets almost no other points. This is a picture-perfect example of a fine idea botched all to hell. So many problems, but I'll start with the first: the circled letters fill themselves in, especially if you start in the NW (as humans often do) and have even a passing familiarity with major artworks of the 20th century. Here is my grid, very early in the solve:


              Now at this point, I can go either way on this puzzle. I love the idea of basing a puzzle around a painting, I love this Duchamp painting in particular (though I confess to not knowing there was a "NO. 2" on the end). But I can already see that the fill on this is heading toward terrible (ANO was my first thing in the grid :( and then TUPI!?!?!), so I'm basically waiting for this puzzle to wow me in the corners—to become something less straightforward and less easy and a bit more clean. Sadly, none of those things happened. No, I take that back—it did get less easy. I foundered in the SW because the ultra-vague 49D: Utterly yielded nothing even though I had ST-. I wanted STONE, as in "STONE fox" or "STONE drunk." But no. Even with STA- I had no idea. Then there's the 62D: Amount to be divided up… starting with a "P"… three letters … so clearly it's POT! (Not!). [Little nothing] was super-ambiguous as well. I had TWEET. Yeah. I know, pretty sad. But that corner's not bad, fill-wise. In fact, it's the best part of the grid, fill-wise. Problems were more in those EENSY little W and E sections. The 3x3s.


              The fill in the far west section has a problem that much of the fill in and around the circled squares has: it's bad. AHA ASA ALA all jammed together like that? Individually, those are suboptimal but forgettable. Together, they're a blight. True, fill toward the middle of the grid is worse—*far* worse. ONEON, AST, ASIM (!?!?!?) and CRS (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?$#@). Those last two shouldn't be allowed to play in any puzzle, ever. But western section has no good excuses. At least fill on the staircase can argue it was coerced. AHA ASA ALA… well, the themer placement isn't doing them any favors, but still. But minor point, probably. At least that section was easily gettable. Unlike its eastern counterpart. This is what my grid looked like at the end:


              Looking at it retrospect, I don't know what I didn't guess SHOW. Oh, no, I do. Because 40A: Prepare for planting, say looks like SOW. So I wrote that in. Then I also wrote in ART at 45A: "Thou ___ aloft full-dazzling!": Whitman. And then I was just stuck. In a stupid little 3x3 section. Here's what I resent most about that—"NUDE DESCENDING A STAIRCASE" is a widely known title. AVANT-GARDE is a widely known style. ARMORY SHOW… I guess if you are an aficionado, you know what that is, but general recognizability plummets with that answer. That answer screams "I Am Desperate For Symmetrical Answers Related To This Painting Because MARCEL DUCHAMP and DADA and FUTURISM Just Aren't Working!" So, design-wise, ARMORY SHOW gives you a painful outlier in your theme set. Overall: Good idea, terrible fill, ill-considered execution.


              The fact that some solvers will, in fact, know ARMORY SHOW doesn't change the fact that most solvers will never have heard of it. Whereas all will have heard of AVANT-GARDE and most will have head of the painting in question (which is at least inferable with the help of crosses).
                Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

                Swimmer Matt who won eight olympic gold medals / THU 3-26-15 / 1971 rock classic inspired by 12th-century Persian poem / Ziff Simpsons character voiced by Jon Lovitz / Haaretz readers / Early Pierre Cardin employer / Draco Malfoy's housemates

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                Constructor: Byron Walden

                Relative difficulty: Easy



                THEME: RINSE CYCLE (57A: Part of washing … or what's exhibited by the circled letters from top to bottom) — letters in "RINSE""cycle" (perfectly) through all their sequential permutations (i.e. ERINS, then move "S" to the beginning and you get SERIN, then move "N" to the beginning and you get NSERI, etc., until you get RINSE at the bottom)

                Theme answers:
                • SLYTHERINS (19A: Draco Malfoy's housemates in the Harry Potter books)
                • NOSE RINGS (27A: Some punk accessories)
                • INTENSE RIVALS (36A: Red Sox and Yankees, e.g.)
                • SPIN SERVE (43A: Tricky way to put a ball in play)
                • RINSE CYCLE 
                Word of the Day: Haaretz (39D: Haaretz readers => ISRAELIS) —
                Haaretz (Hebrewהארץ‎) (lit. "The Land [of Israel]", originally Ḥadashot Ha'aretz – Hebrewחדשות הארץ‎, IPA: [χadaˈʃot haˈʔaʁets] – "News [of] the Land [of Israel]") is Israel's oldest daily newspaper. It was founded in 1918 and is now published in both Hebrew and English in Berliner format. The English edition is published and sold together with the International New York Times. Both Hebrew and English editions can be read on the Internet. In North America, it comes out as a weekly newspaper, combining articles from the Friday edition with a roundup from the rest of the week. An independent newspaper of record, some commentators state that it plays the role in Israel that The New York Times plays in the United States. It is known for its staunch left-liberal stance on domestic and foreign issues. (wikipedia)
                • • •
                My initial reactions to this weren't great. Mixing up letters over and over seemed trite, and though SLYTHERINS is of course a welcome answer, the fill in general seemed decidedly sub-Walden. I don't think I even believe that INTENSE RIVALS is a thing. Like, a stand-alone thing. So while the puzzle didn't seem terrible, it also didn't excite me, at all. Then two things happened. First, I realized that the theme wasn't just "mix up the letters in RINSE"—it was all those letters *cycling*, in order, through their various permutations, and, also, doing so in a way where all permutations are perfectly aligned, one above the next, resulting in a perfect column of circled in answers in the middle of the grid. Those two things demonstrate a high level of craftsmanship, and gave me a somewhat elevated appreciation for the puzzle as a whole. But then … then my feelings went from tepid admiration to something much more positive and much more intense … after I entered … the SW corner!


                For the fantastic / alarming visual alone, I'm going to give that SW corner the "Best SW Corner Of All Time" award. If you weren't imagining a MALE (NUDE) engaged in PHONE SEX while wearing a SANTA HAT, well… you are now, and you're welcome. The only thing I'd change about that corner is the "G" in GIMPS. I get that it's supposed to add (I think) to the overall mildly perverted feel of that corner (insofar as "GIMPS" reminds me of "The Gimp" from "Pulp Fiction"), but it's a borderline offensive word (making it a verb doesn't really change that). I'd actually prefer PIMPS there, though I somehow doubt that would fly in the NYT. LIMPS or SIMPS works too. But this is hardly that important. What's important is MALE NUDE PHONE SEX SANTA HAT. *That* is a jolly good time. It's like the rest of the puzzle barely exists...

                Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

                Greek township / FRI 3-27-15 / Temple square group founded in 1847 / Quite ill in Lille / Biao Mao Zedong confederate / Title religious school in classic Crosby/Bergman film / Prairie transport / First wife of Julius Caesar / Theater reproof / Big source of blueberries

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                Constructor: David Kwong

                Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium



                THEME: UTAH (STATE) (31A: University suggested by this puzzle's black squares) — all the grid's black square blocks form, roughly, the shape of Utah. Two other theme answers relate to Utah:

                Theme answers:
                • TABERNACLE CHOIR (19A: Temple Square group founded in 1847) [shouldn't this have "MORMON" in front of it?]
                • LATTER DAY SAINTS (47A: Young followers) [this clue is probably my favorite thing about the puzzle]
                Word of the Day: ION BEAM (53A: Ray gun ray) —
                [Wait, ray guns are real now? Cool.]


                • • •

                Take out everything but the theme answers, refill the entire grid competently, and release this on a day where somehow Utah matters, and you've got something. As is, it's yet another decent, cute idea made painful by the less-than-polished fill. I knew things would be GRIM before I made it out of the NW, with its absurd non-phrase IN LATIN and its absurd recherché Frenchism A LA MORT (16A: How zombies like their apple pie?). I was pretty well checked out by the time I got to the NEBO ITES shortly thereafter. Just … done. There's no delight, no play, no craft. There's just fill. The theme, when I got it, felt like an afterthought. I couldn't appreciate it on any level because ISS ISA ATMS SHH OAS HOI IPODS GRIM ASP etc. Worse, though, was the fact that the longer stuff (mostly) had no pop. Short junk can be overlooked when the longer answers pop. Popless, I say, was this. Not to mention the fact that the clues on this puzzle were a huge downer. All the joy of being held HOSTAGE in an ASSISTED living facility. ENCAGEd.


                Remember: If you aren't up to filling a low word-count puzzle cleanly, then just don't do it. Please. The bar is just too high today. I mean … Only 62 words, *And* it's themed? No. No way. Unless you are Patrick Berry, stop. Please. I'd say "add black squares to make filling the grid easier," but I see that would ruin your whole (mysterious) Utah vibe. The theme answers aren't interesting enough to hold the puzzle together, and the theme has no topicality, and too much of the fill just doesn't work. It's either bad or dull. Editors have to help shape this stuff. Too often a good idea is DEMEd to be all that's important, and clunky execution is just given a pass. [Is that how you pronounce "DEME"? I have no idea] (49D: Greek township)


                I'll give you HIPSTER and SHANKAR and HOSTAGE and PEACH PIT and BEATS ME. Maybe even CONESTOGA and TABITHA. But I will not give you TWEEDLE (one of the least "enticing" words I know) (55A: Entice with music) and I most certainly won't give you the ridiculous, enormous partial, END HOUSE (10D: Agatha Christie's "Peril at ___"). That answer is neck and neck with IN LATIN for Biggest Head-Shaker. Again, there's a clever state pride angle here, but in order for that cleverness to shine, the non-theme fill (which, today, is an enormous part of the grid) has to be, at a minimum, clean. It wasn't.
                  Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

                  Wild Duck dramatist / WED 3-4-15 / Bow-toter on seasonal cards / Title woman of 1957 #1 Paul Anka hit / Popular Japanese pizza topping / Walrus mustache feature

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                  Constructor: Jeff Stillman

                  Relative difficulty: Medium



                  THEME: puns involving male movie roles  — familiar phrases are clued as if they have some relation to roles played by famous actors

                  Theme answers:
                  • BOND TRADERS (17A: Connery and Lazenby, between 1967 and 1971?)
                  • ROCKY START (11D: 1976, for Stallone's rise to stardom?)
                  • TRIPLE AXEL (29D: Eddie Murphy, after 1984, 1987 and 1994?)
                  • PLAYING SOLO (64A: What Harrison Ford was doing in 1977, 1980 and 1983?)
                  Word of the Day: SERIN (44A: European finch) —
                  noun
                  1. a small Eurasian and North African finch related to the canary, with a short bill and typically streaky plumage. (google)
                  • • •

                  Inconsistent. Off. Wonky. I just couldn't get into this one. The fill skews old and stale, too (SE is particularly gunky), so there wasn't much for me here, except CETOLOGY (big Moby-Dick fan) (27A: Study of whales). So what, exactly, was wrong? BOND TRADERS was OK. A little thinky (i.e. you have to know that the role of Bond went from Connery in 1967 to Lazenby in 1969 and then *back* to Connery in 1971 …). Even then, the answer's a little forced, but I could roll with it. But both the answer, ROCKY START, and its clue (11D: 1976, for Stallone's rise to stardom?) felt off. It's *Stallone's* rise to stardom. But it's the franchise "Rocky"'s start. Stallone got his start (stardom-wise) playing Rocky, but ROCKY START does not capture that. Also, ROCKY START… isn't the tightest phrase. No tighter than "rough start," which means roughly the equivalent. Then there's the role-outlier, AXEL (Foley), which belongs in this puzzle not at all. Those movies did big business, but compared to James Bond, Rocky Balboa, and Han Solo, the name "Axel" just doesn't rate, fame-wise. Worst of all is PLAYING SOLO,  which isn't a phrase. Or, it is, but it's weak. GOING SOLO or, better, FLYING SOLO, are better, more solid, more real things. PLAYING SOLO… meh. Also confusing that the three years quoted in the clue for TRIPLE AXEL mattered (i.e. three years relates to "TRIPLE"), but the three years quoted in the PLAYING SOLO clue … didn't. So lots of little junky things about the cluing and answer quality just kept this from being that entertaining to me.

                  [FALTERMEYER]

                  Bullets:
                  • 56A: ___-watch (BINGE) — by far the hardest thing for me to get. Not knowing the [Title woman of a 1957 #1 Paul Anka hit] (told you the fill skewed old…) I figured it must be something uncommon like DEANA, so I had BENGE-watch and stared at it and had no idea what part could be wrong. This is especially weird, considering I had just finished watching Season 1 Episode 3 of "Mad Men," which I am semi-BINGE-(re-)watching in its totality, leading up to the series finale this April 5.
                  • 55A: Cy Young candidates's stats (ERAS)— ??? … They're every pitcher's stats. The worst pitchers have ERAS. This clue is ridiculous.
                  • 34A: Walrus mustache feature (DROOP) — ??? … I see that the wikipedia entry for "walrus mustache" says they have a DROOP (because the lip hair "droops" over the mouth…), but … man, that is a weird direction to go for this clue. If I had to list ten features of a "walrus mustache," that word wouldn't come up.
                  Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

                  Japanese mat / THU 3-5-15 / CSA general Stuart / Funny Silverman / Jean-Claude Van Damme film set in 1994 2004 / Kona catch / Jose to friends / Great Wonder Woman cry / Session meeting after legislative dissolution

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                  Constructor: Jim Peredo

                  Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium



                  THEME: FALLING BEHIND (38A: Lagging … or a hint to 17-, 19-, 56- and 61-Across) — several Across answers "fall" (i.e. go Down) at their tail end … the parts that "fall" are all synonyms for "behind":

                  Theme answers:
                  • BABY AL(BUM) (19A: Record of infantile behavior?)
                  • DONALD T(RUMP) (17A: Who said about himself "Women find his power almost as much of a turn-on as his money")
                  • UNAMERI(CAN) (61A: Hating baseball and apple pie?)
                  • GORY DE(TAIL) (56A: Part of a story you might not want to know)

                  Word of the Day: DRAY (58D: Farm cart) —
                  noun
                  1. a truck or cart for delivering beer barrels or other heavy loads, especially a low one without sides. (google)
                  • • •
                  Hey, this works. I wasn't so sure at first. I wasn't having a ton of fun cutting through the grid (even though the fill was OK), and when I saw that BABY AL(BUM) drop I was like "man, didn't we just see this idea? … answers that turn or bend or whatever … this better be good." I had no real hope that it would, in fact, be good. I could see that the Acrosses made nonsense but the Downs made real words—or, rather, that the Acrosses made sense if you threw in the Down bits. But I honestly didn't see the connection that all the Downs had until pretty late, because I didn't get the front part of the revealer until pretty late (3/4 done). This is all to say that when I did, finally, fill in FALLING BEHIND, I did, in fact, have a genuine AHA moment. (I think I'm going to call the opposite of an AHA moment an "AHI moment," as in "Oh … I get it … that's fishy.")

                  [Profanity, but mostly incomprehensibility, ahead]

                  So the theme wins—makes a tired concept (bend-the-answer) interesting, and BEHIND ends up having a cool double-meaning (i.e. the part that falls means "behind," *and* comes at the "tail" end of the answer). The overall grid has pretty solid bones, and GALACTIC and (esp.) WE'RE LOST add a little color. Not much to complain about in the fill. Suboptimal stuff is pretty spread out. Things get a mite dicey in the NE (with the two 5-letter prefixes and the French and the two abbrevs.), but whatever bad taste is up there doesn't linger. Very decent Thursday.

                  Bullets:
                  • 45A: José, to friends (PEPE) — José Le Pew?? I had no idea. 
                  • 62D: Low (MOO) — last letter in the grid were those "O"s, both because I forgot exactly what James DOOHAN's last name was, and because (predictably) I misspelled DIARAMA thusly.
                  • 3D: "Hurray" or "alas" (IAMB) — very, very tough clue. I spend much of Tuesday explaining exactly what an IAMB is to my 17th-century lit class, and *I* didn't get this until virtually everything around it was filled in. Unstressed stressed. "Eclipse,""Today," etc. The opposite (stressed unstressed, e.g. "tailor,""panic,""Batter (my heart three-personed God…") is a TROCHEE, which we somehow never see in crosswords.
                  Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

                  Bespectacled chipmunk / FRI 3-6-15 / Actress Anna of Mom / Cozy lie per Susan Sontag / FiveThirtyEight owner / Schwarzenegger movie with oxymoronic title / Success is great deodorant speaker / Onetime 2600 Jr maker / Divine trees in book of dead / Washington's first secretary of war / Jazz fusion artist with Elektric band / Bassist Cook of Creedence Clearwater Revival

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                  Constructor: David Phillips

                  Relative difficulty: Easy



                  THEME: none

                  Word of the Day: Anna FARIS (2D: Actress Anna of "Mom") —
                  Anna Kay Faris[1] (/ˈɑːnə ˈfærɨs/;[2] born November 29, 1976) is an American actress and singer. She is known for her comedic roles as Cindy Campbell in the Scary Movie film series (2000–2006), Kelly in Lost in Translation (2003), Shelley in The House Bunny(2008), Serena in Waiting... (2005), Hannah in My Super Ex-Girlfriend (2006), the voice of Sam Sparks in the animated film Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (2009) and its sequel Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 (2013), Rachel Johnson in Yogi Bear (2010), Ally Darling in What's Your Number? (2011), Zoey in The Dictator (2012) and Chloe in I Give It a Year (2013).
                  On television, she has played the role of Christy Plunkett on the CBS sitcom Mom since 2013 and appeared as Erica in the final season of the NBC sitcom Friends (2004). (wikipedia)
                  • • •

                  Not interesting enough, not hard enough. The clusterf*ck of names in the NE (TOKLAS, KNOX, ATARI with a CORP somehow attached…) took me a little effort to put together, but otherwise, every corner's long answers fell one-two-three. Slightly ridiculous. Actually, I botched AFC SOUTH out of the gate (I had AFC NORTH because … I still can't accept Indianapolis as a Southern city …) but got AMPLE and FARIS and realized my mistake very quickly thereafter. Easy entree to the middle, and once EY- dropped into the front of 33-Across, I knew before looking at the clue that I was dealing with EYE-something. Clue made answer, and the cross-referenced answer, instantly obvious. I might have been aided there by *just* having read a 1980 Doonesbury collection entitled A Tad Overweight, But Violet Eyes to Die For (Trudeau did a run of strips making fun of Taylor's then-husband, Republican John Warner, during his bid for the Senate in Virginia in 1978), but I think I would've nailed that one regardless. So, very quickly, my grid looked like this:


                  The remaining corners were done with virtually no thought. We don't have DEL TACO out here, so that DE---CO took some thinking. That was virtually the only remaining answer that took some thinking. TWOS and DEL TACO gave me enough to get all the Acrosses along the top of the SW, and then all the Downs immediately thereafter. No struggle.


                  Junky fill down there made the remaining few squares tougher than the entire rest of the corner had been, but even LIGERS and COREA and SML and ANADEM and MEDI (frowny faces, all) weren't *that* tough. That left just the SE, where pretty much the same thing happened. Got front ends of long Acrosses, then *all* the long Acrosses in quick succession:


                  Ten seconds later, the puzzle was done. It's not just that the puzzle was easy—it simply wasn't that engaging. Entirely adequate, but also ho-hum. Nothing more to say. See you tomorrow.
                    Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

                    P.S. if any of you know the screenwriter Akiva Goldsman, please let him know I have mail for him. Someone sent something to him care of me, for reasons that remain Utterly Mysterious …


                    Cup-shaped forest fungus / SAT 3-7-15 / Toadstool that exudes latex when cut / Follower of Salyut 7 / Concubine's chamber / Southern river to Winyah Bay / CJ's boss on West Wing / Boston area known for brownstones / European Union anthem / deck gym machine

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                    Constructor: David C. Duncan Dekker

                    Relative difficulty: Medium



                    THEME: maybe PANGRAMS … not sure

                    Word of the Day: PEZIZA (43D: Cup-shaped forest fungus) —
                    Peziza is a large genus of saprophytic cup fungi that grow on the ground, rotting wood, or dung. Most members of this genus are of unknown edibility and are difficult to identify as separate species without use of microscopy. The polyphyletic genus has been estimated to contain over 100 species.
                    Peziza may come from the term for foot in Romance languages, perhaps in reference to their general lack of a stalk. (wikipedia)
                    • • •

                    This is pretty bad. I mean, as a themeless, it's adequate, but it's kind of inexcusable that anyone thinks making a themeless puzzle into a PANGRAM is an accomplishment. It's a non-issue. It's like bragging that your Sunday-sized puzzle is a PANGRAM? Not hard, no one cares. The problem with PANGRAMS (61A: They use every letter FROM A TO Z) comes when you force them on a puzzle that already has a theme. Themes exert pressure on grids. PANGRAMS add extra, unnecessary, stupid pressure. But in a themeless—do whatever the hell you want, who cares? Why would you highlight a non-accomplishment like this. If anything, once again, we see how perverse fascination with high-value Scrabble tiles (for their own SAKES) leads to junk fill that, in another iteration of the grid, would be non-existent. ODA ACED IT DERATE LOM ITASCA PEEDEE (ugh) LLD MIL INASEC MIR ANON. An excellent themeless has a suboptimal list about half that long. As I said, the puzzle's adequate—I've seen worse. But honestly, it's on the low end for themelesses. There are constructors out there who combine artistry and database management to produce some pretty great work. This doesn't compare.


                    Once again, I had very good luck with a wrong answer, right off the bat:


                    Actually, I'm not sure if that was good or bad luck, since MIL did nothing for me except convince me that ANEMIC was right for a while. The only way I broke that NW corner open was by getting MOB and ANON correct and then somehow, after several passes, figuring out that the "quaint" in 17A: Quaint raid targets must refer to ICEBOXES. NW was not hard after that breakthrough. Managed to get up into and around the NE pretty easily, but couldn't bring the puzzle down the west coast. Here's why:


                    See that. I fell into the trap I probably was supposed to fall into, imagining that 8D: Spiced up, say required a past-tense, -ED ending. So though I was deeply unhappy with ZESTIED (!?), it seemed like a "word" that this particular puzzle would have, so I stuck with it. Luckily, I was able to get into that SW corner from the back end of most southern Acrosses—not always doable, but, thankfully, doable today. DANTE and ACED IT were gimmes, and I went from there up the west and finished with the "P" in VAPOR / PEC.
                      Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

                      El Amazonas, e.g. / SUN 3-8-15 / Subject of a prophecy in Genesis / Israeli diet / English author Blyton / One end of the hotline / Betide / Beast imagined in "Beasts of the Southern Wild" / Smith of "Downton Abbey"

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                      Constructor: Tom McCoy

                      Relative difficulty: Sunday-ish


                      THEME: PI DAY— Rebus squares contain the symbol for pi, which reads as the letters "PI" for the down answers and as "TT" (which it kind of looks like) in the across answers.

                      Hey, everyone. PuzzleGirl here filling in on this glorious weekend. Seriously, it was like in the 40s here in the D.C. area today. A welcome 9-Down from the crazy cold and snow we've been dealing with lately. Rex is at the Finger Lakes puzzle tournament today and asked me to join you with the Sunday puzzle, which, of course, I'm delighted to do. So let's get to it.

                      Theme answers:
                      • 23A: RO[TT]EN EGG (The last one in, perhaps)
                      • 26A: MAD HA[TT]ER ("Why is a raven like a writing desk?" asker)
                      • 29A: GUIL[T T]RIPS (Shames into action)
                      • 117A: TA[TT]LE (Snitch)
                      • 120A: DO[TT]ED (Like two lowercase letters of the alphabet)
                      • 3D: TY[PI]CALLY (As is usual)
                      • 9D: RES[PI]TE (Breather)
                      • 15D: RA[PI]D-FIRE (How questions may be asked)
                      • 102D: STU[PI]D (Cry exclaimed while facepalming)
                      • 105D: UTO[PI]A (More work)
                      • 69A/94A/72A HOW I WISH I COULD CALCULATE PI EASILY (A mnemonic for the first eight digits of [symbol in the middle of the grid])
                      It took me a while to figure out what the "TT" had to do with anything, then I finally realized that it kind of looks like the pi symbol, so it's all good. At first I thought both "PI" and "TT" were supposed to be crammed into the box and I wondered what the heck Brad Pitt had to do with anything. Then, knowing I'd be blogging later, I was just glad to know I would have an excuse to include a picture of Brad Pitt in the post. You're welcome.

                      This puzzle wasn't particularly easy for me, but I did finish it eventually. The ETRUSCAN / TOKYO / LICKED / PLAYER (76A: Like much of Italy in 700 B.C. / 81A: ___ Bay, site of a historic Admiral Perry visit of 1853 / 66D: Trounced / 67D: Ladies' man) section was the last to fall. But fall it did and I cried: "Victory is mine! Bring me the finest muffins and bagels in all the land!" Okay, not really. I don't actually get that excited about finishing puzzles, plus it's not breakfast time. But you get the idea.

                      Bullets:
                      • 41A: Bully on "The Simpsons" (NELSON)— HAha!
                      • 43A: "THERE'S no doubt"— This seems really random to me. I mean, I'm sure this is a phrase people say, but it's not really a thing, is it? "___ no 'I' in team" would work for me. Or "___ gold in them thar hills.""___ more where that came from.""___ no place like home.""___ no crying in baseball.""___ one in every crowd." I think I've made my point.
                      • 46A: 2009 Newbery-winning author Gaiman (NEIL)— I always get Neil Gaiman confused with Neil Postman, who was also a writer. As far as I can tell, the things they wrote about don't overlap At All, so I'm not sure why they live in the same part of my brain. Besides the obvious.
                      • 71A: XV years before the Battle of Hastings— Now, see, that's just not fair.
                      • 88A: It never starts with 666 (SSN)— Who knew?
                      • 103A: Computing pioneer Lovelace (ADA)— I've seen a couple articles recently about a campaign to take Andrew Jackson off the $20 bill and replace him with a woman. I think Ada Lovelace would be a good choice.
                      • 107A: It's revolting (MUTINY)— Good clue.
                      • 108A: One way of learning, it's said (OSMOSIS)— Is this for real? I think when I've heard the phase "learning by osmosis" it's been said in jest. Wikipedia says:
                        An example of social osmosis would be knowing a show exists that you have never seen, and yet possessing detailed information concerning aspects of the show without actively acquiring this knowledge ....
                        Well that sounds like crossword puzzles to me!
                      • 113A: Belch (ERUCT)— Pretty sure I've never seen this word before. (Eruct, not belch. I've seen the word belch before.)
                      • 123: 1/2, for one (DATE)— I like this tricky clue. I read it as "one-half" instead of "January 2," which I assume you did too and that was the whole point.
                      • 39D: Frat pack member Ben (STILLER)— Others in the frat pack: Jack Black, Owen Wilson, Luke Wilson, Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn, and Steve Carell. Now you know.
                      • 58D: Threatens, as a king (CHECKS)— Love me a good chess clue.
                      • 59D: "HOGAN'S Heroes"— I believe I would be horrified to watch this show today and recall how much it made me laugh back when I was a kid. On a side note, PuzzleDaughter has a teacher named Mr. Klink. Whenever she mentions him I say "You mean, Colonel Klink?" and I laugh hysterically. She rolls her eyes and waits for me to finish. (That last part actually happens a lot around here.)
                      Hey, it was fun hanging out with you today. With any luck, Rex will be back tomorrow!

                      Love, PuzzleGirl

                      Hyperrealist sculptor Hanson / SAT 3-28-15 / composer of opera fiesque / He worked with illustrator phiz / Jeweler of kings king of jewelers / Spring-blooming bush / Musandam Peninsula populace / Modern lead-in to cat

                      $
                      0
                      0
                      Constructor: David Steinberg

                      Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium


                      THEME: none

                      Word of the Day: SNAPCHAT (34D: Disappearing communication system?) —
                      Snapchat is a photo messaging application developed by Evan SpiegelBobby Murphy, and Reggie Brown, then Stanford University students. Using the application, users can take photos, record videos, add text and drawings, and send them to a controlled list of recipients. These sent photographs and videos are known as "Snaps". Users set a time limit for how long recipients can view their Snaps (as of April 2014, the range is from 1 to 10 seconds), after which they will be hidden from the recipient's device and deleted from Snapchat's servers.
                      According to Snapchat in May 2014, the app's users were sending 700 million photos and videos per day, while Snapchat Stories content was being viewed 500 million times per day. The company has a valuation of $10–$20 billion depending on various sources. (wikipedia)
                      • • •

                      Wow, this is just ridiculously good. I think Steinberg is quickly turning himself into one of the great themeless constructors. Heir apparent to Patrick Berry. This puzzle doesn't have many weak spots at all, and its strong spots are everywhere. All over. All the stacks. All the columns. They are chock full of life and wit and (LEMON) ZEST. Let's see ... SCARUM—that, I don't like. But holy moly you'd need like six more SCARUMs (scara?) to make this thing less than good. I want to scream to all themeless constructs and would-be themeless constructors: aim for This. It's not just good in places; it's good Everywhere. The NYT has become somewhat schizophrenic of late, serving up mediocre fare better than half the time, but then dropping GEMs here and there by the great constructors who still regularly submit to them. I've said it before, and I'm saying it again now: Steinberg is one of a handful of constructors keeping the NYT's overall quality passable. A lot of talent has been syphoned off to other places. Speaking of, you should really check out David Steinberg's *other* current puzzle—the latest American Values Club Crossword. It's called "Inside Dope," which, as I told editor Ben Tausig, is the Same Title as a crossword puzzle I once made, and with a very similar theme. But, as I also told him, David's is better. Get it here for a $1, or just become a AVCX subscriber already: they're thick with constructing talent over there.


                      I knew I was in for a fun ride pretty quickly when NOH IMSET WITSEND and XER gave me BIKINI WAX. That was the first answer in a killer 3-stack: BIKINI WAX / ECONOMIZE / DEATH STAR. Conjures images of Vader having some personal grooming done, because, well, he had a coupon, so why not? Calling a BIKINI WAX"hair-raising" seems a bit tenuous, but it allows for a clever misdirection, so I'll allow it.

                      [Kid who had an original Rubik's cube, e.g.] => REXPARKER

                      The cluing was pretty tough throughout, with lots of initially annoying but ultimately mostly pretty good "?" clues. Also, some clues were vague enough to throw me off, at least for a bit. NE was pretty tough, with two not-terribly-famous names one over the other (DUANE Hanson / ERICA Hill). Luckily, after getting ODEON, I pulled the trigger on both names, with just their first letters in place. I figured that starting "E" in five letters, that name was gonna be ERICA (or ERIKA). Also, I know the name DIANE Hanson, so I just went with that. Fortuitous! Turns out Dian Hanson spells her name without an "E." She's a porn editor and historian. She's done a lot of Taschen books on pin-up / girly mag art. She was interviewed in the (great) film "Crumb." So of course her name was in my head. Anyway, DIANE to DUANE, not a big leap. As you can see here, I got into that corner and down YEAR ZERO, with just a little error there are the top (later fixed, obviously):


                      As someone with a vendetta against the Charmin Bears (they're the only animal I want hunted to extinction), I wasn't exactly excited about 57A: They're taken to go (LAXATIVES), but it's nice to see the NYT … I'm gonna say "loosen up" a little. Yes, I'm gonna say it, alright. The exclamation point on this thing, for me, was SNAPCHAT. Gives the grid a nice, youthful glow. Nobody who uses SNAPCHAT would say "CRIPES!" but that's what I love about crosswords—words that normally wouldn't have anything to do with each other get to hang out, mix it up. Diversity! It's a legitimate value.


                      OK then, see you tomorrow.

                      Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

                      Whale constellation / SUN 3-29-15 / High tech surveillance acronym / Fist bump in slang / Ancient Assyrian foe / Delphine author Madame de / Pub fixture / First name on America's Got Talent panel / Quaint letter opener / British racetrack site / Egyptian king overthrown in 1952 revolution

                      $
                      0
                      0
                      Constructor: Alan Arbesfeld

                      Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging


                      THEME:"California, Here I Come"— CA added to familiar (-ish) phrases, resulting in wacky phrases:

                      Theme answers:
                      • STREAMING INCA (23A: Ancient Peruvian using Netflix?) 
                      • CAST ELSEWHERE (33A: "No fishing here!"?)
                      • DEEP SPACE CANINE (51A: Dog whose rocket went off course?) 
                      • YOU MAKE ME WANNA CASH OUT (65A: Comment to an annoying blackjack dealer?)
                      • REALLY BIG CASHEW (82A: Part of a jumbo trail mix?) (for you youngsters out there, that … is an Ed Sullivan pun … here, this should make it clear:)

                      • BACALL HANDLER (97A: Agent for Bogart's partner?) (for you non-sports fans, this is primarily a basketball term, used of whoever's, uh, handling the ball)
                      • THE LIFE OF PICA (111A: "12-Point Type: A History"?) (there is no "The" in the title "Life of Pi," so this is an astonishing screw-up)
                      Word of the Day: NYALAS (59D: Spiral-horned antelopes)
                      The nyala (Nyala angasii or Tragelaphus angasii), also called inyala, is a spiral-horned antelope native to southern Africa. It is a species of the family Bovidae and genus Nyala, also considered to be in the genus Tragelaphus. It was first described in 1849 by George French Angas. The body length is 135–195 cm (53–77 in), and it weighs 55–140 kg (121–309 lb). The coat is rusty or rufous brown in females and juveniles, but grows a dark brown or slate grey, often tinged with blue, in adult males. Females and young males have ten or more white stripes on their sides. Only males have horns, 60–83 cm (24–33 in) long and yellow-tipped. It exhibits the highest sexual dimorphism among the spiral-horned antelopes. (wikipedia)
                      • • •

                      I checked out early with this one. How early? This early.


                      I'm not kidding. I didn't have good feelings about this one even before starting (title telegraphed the theme, for one thing…) and then, yeah, 1-Across. It's so … something. It's a word. It's a non-terrible word. It's just … dusty, crosswordwise. Today, it's a tone-setter. It made me worry about what this solving experience was going to be like, and my worry was not unjustified. I was not wrong about how I would ultimately feel about the puzzle. Prediction was: humor would be groan-worthy, and fill would be crusty. And I was right and right. I can't even take the time to enumerate all the issues. Too depressing. But the main ones are: theme ridiculously basic and obvious and infinitely replicable, with mostly flat or bizarre theme answers; lots of stale fill; and a cultural center of gravity way way before my time (the last issue being a matter of taste more than quality, admittedly).


                      Add-a-letter? Really? Again? Man. I mean, yeah, technically it's two letters, but still. The "Funny" bar has to be Very High if the theme's going to be this slight, and today's "Funny" bar doesn't even clear my knees.


                      Grimace fill:
                      • PLICATE
                      • EOLITH
                      • TIRO—Wow. Just wow. I literally LOL'd at 26A: Newbie: Var. Putting "Var." on "Newbie" is like putting a gray wig and mustache on a baby, only much less funny
                      • SAD CASE—Ugh x a million. I had SAD SACK, which is an actual, better, phrase. 
                      • LETITIA—A spelling adventure!
                      • ETYPE
                      • AWACS (34D: High-tech surveillance acronym)
                      • INB
                      • EPSOM
                      • AREEL
                      • ETNAS
                      • NYALAS
                      • STAEL
                      • BALTO
                      • CETUS
                      That's not even *close* to a full accounting of the mediocre / subpar stuff. Just the "high" lights. CORNIER puzzles, I've rarely seen. Is the Sunday submission pile this shallow? My kingdom for an EDITOR. Etc. Last night, I asked my Twitter followers to tell me what to say about this puzzle, but apparently not everyone does their puzzle at 6:30pm on Saturday night, so I got only a few responses.
                      "[H]ad to put it away because I was bored silly. Unlike me, but jeez." 
                      "I am starting to wonder if I am having a stroke while trying to do the puzzle today." 
                      "Non-slog Sundays are a dying breed." 
                      "It stopped being interesting, so I stopped solving it."
                      "Four unforgivable answers in top two rows, including lame themer based on random phrase. Never got better. What's not to like?" 
                      "Who says BALTO?"
                      Then Erik Agard told me to play this:


                      Couple more things:

                      Brendan Emmett Quigley (named "Constructor of the Year" for 2014 over at "Diary of a Crossword Fiend") is now offering up a subscription to his "Marching Bands" puzzles. 26 puzzles over the course of a year, all fresh, hot and new. To read more about this (awesome) puzzle type and support the project, Go Here.

                      Lastly, here's a letter to the editor that the NYT didn't publish. I told its author I'd run it, since it's about language use in puzzles (specifically, an acrostic puzzle from a couple weeks back). (Note: my printing the letter does not necessarily indicate my endorsement of the ideas contained therein)
                      Dear Sir,

                      I was disappointed to see the offensive acrostic puzzle clues “Kook, Psycho, Lunatic” and answer “Nutcase” in the March 8, 2015, Sunday Magazine. These words are no different than using a similarly demeaning epithet to describe a racial or cultural characteristic. Why then is it acceptable to use such derogatory language to describe a spectrum of brain disorders? Mental illness is a disease, not a joke.

                      The words we use to describe things inform our perception of them. Even in the seemingly benign guise of a word puzzle they are powerful tools. Will Shortz has devoted his career to using them with flair and style but unfortunately last week his editing missed the mark.
                      As the mother of someone with schizophrenia I am sensitive to the stigma embedded in the language used to describe it. People suffering from mental illness deserve our compassion and respect, not being reduced to pejorative stereotypes. You can do better. It is time for a more enlightened approach to idle entertainment.

                      Creighton Taylor
                      National Alliance on Mental Illness – Maine chapter member
                      Maine Behavioral Healthcare Board of Trustee
                      Chairperson of Maine Behavioral Healthcare Advisory Committee
                      Member of Spring Harbor Hospital “Linking Families” Committee 
                        That's all. See you tomorrow.

                        Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

                        P.S. This:
                        "Coining a term: Nor'wester: n., a Sunday NYT xword where you solve the NW corner, see the lame gimmick, sadly go away. Today's, for example."—Gene Weingarten

                        Cleopatra biter / MON 3-30-15 / Paint company whose name sounds like animal / Chicago airport code / Stone key to deciphering hieroglyphics / Literary Jane who says No net ensnares me I am free human being with independent will

                        $
                        0
                        0
                        Constructor: Bruce Haight

                        Relative difficulty: Challenging (*for a Monday*) (time: 3:36)


                        THEME: GOOSE (18A: Flier in a V formation) — black squares form little geese, I think, though they aren't exactly flying in "V" formation. Three theme answers sort of relate to the GOOSE theme.

                        Theme answers:
                        • BIRDS OF A FEATHER (13A: Ones that are alike)
                        • FLOCK TOGETHER (30A: Gather as a group)
                        • CLEAR FOR TAKE-OFF (49A: Give the go-ahead from the control tower)
                        Word of the Day: CECE Winans (46A: Gospel singer Winans) —
                        Priscilla "CeCe" Marie Winans Love /ˈwnænz/ (born October 8, 1964) is an American gospel singer, who has won numerous awards, including ten Grammy Awards and seven Stellar Awards. She has sold twelve million records world wide. Cece is also the best selling female gospel artist of all time. (wikipedia)
                        • • •

                        I want to start by giving this a "V" for effort. I like the weirdness of it, particularly the axial-symmetry grid and the rough visual approximation of a flock of geese. Again, that is not a "V" formation, and geese do not fly in the formation pictured by the black squares, but … horseshoes and hand grenades, close enough, I think. Those long (non-theme) Downs are lovely. A nice added bonus on an early-week puzzle. The puzzle is misplaced on a Monday (it's a solid Tuesday), but that's also not a big deal. Two things that are kind of big deals. Or at least medium-sized deals. Deals of some sort. First, the theme answers … it is highly weird to split BIRDS OF A FEATHER / FLOCK TOGETHER and treat them, clue-wise, as if each were a stand-alone phrase. Neither stands alone that well, particularly FLOCK TOGETHER. If you google that phrase, you get mostly hits referring to the whole saying. When would you ever use FLOCK TOGETHER on its own? And the third themer … is related to flying, I see, but I don't see anything else about it that makes it appropriate to the whole bird formation thing.


                        The second deal is, of course, the fill, which is ouchy. IRED is possibly the worst crossword answer of all time. You never see it any more, because it is terrible and virtually indefensible. EASEFUL, you never see, but for good reason. And on and on. Actually those are the worst, and there's just a lot of blah stuff otherwise. So I admire the spirit of this puzzle, but once again (I want to say "for the third time in the last week…"), a decent idea is not given the execution it deserves.


                        Congratulations to Dan Feyer on winning his sixth straight American Crossword Puzzle Tournament. He beat five-time winner Tyler Hinman in a genuine nail-biter. As close a one-two finish as you're likely to see in any competition. Here's the video:

                          Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

                          Edmonton six / TUE 3-31-15 / Broadway compose Jule / California county east of Sonoma / Picasso's "Lady With ___" / Singer Bareilles / Source of the line "The Lord is thy keeper" / California county east of Sonoma

                          $
                          0
                          0
                          Constructor: Gary Cee

                          Relative difficulty: Just About Right


                          THEME: VERBAL GYMNASTICS (38A: Fancy, evasive language)— Theme answers are common phrases the second word of which can also be a word for a piece of gymnastics apparatus

                          Theme answers:
                          • 18A: ONION RINGS (Deep-fried side dish)
                          • 26A: LASER BEAM (Metaphor for straightness)
                          • 54A: HIGH HORSE (Snootiness)
                          • 65A: COFFEE BARS (Java joints)
                          Hey you. Yeah, you! What's up? I haven't seen you in a while. Unless you were in Stamford this weekend and then I probably did. Yep, that's right. It's me, PuzzleGirl, filling in for Rex today while he is traveling. I'm going to tell you right upfront that this is not going to be a long, involved blog post. I did not get much sleep over the last few days because I was participating in the best weekend of the year, otherwise known as the American Crossword Puzzle Tournament. Had a blast, as usual.

                          
                          Finn Vigeland, Elizabeth Olson White
                          (PuzzleSister), Sam Donaldson, Vega
                          Subramaniam, and Doug Peterson
                          getting froyo in Stamford
                          I was actually nervous about it moving back to Stamford because I didn't start attending until it was in Brooklyn and I don't like change. Also I'm a pessimist by nature. So I was just sure there were going to be all kinds of things wrong with the whole set-up. But I was pleasantly surprised. The hotel was nice (and way cheaper than Brooklyn), the neighborhood was nice, and it was actually quite a bit easier for me to get to (which I know was not true for everybody). Really the only complaint I have about the weekend is that the room was waaaaay too crowded. 
                          Me and a couple of weirdos
                          (Doug Peterson and Jeff Chen)

                          My thought is that if you're committed to having the event in Stamford then you should set it up so that it can be accommodated in Stamford, which I guess would mean capping the registration or (as I've heard they've done in the past) using two ballrooms. No one I talked to seemed all that excited about the two-ballroom idea (although, frankly, I don't see any particular downside), so why not only accept the number of people that can actually fit in the room? Just a thought.

                          
                          Me and the champ, Dan Feyer
                          But hey, we're not here to talk about my desire to be in charge of every damn thing. We're here to talk about the puzzle. What did you think? I thought it was not bad. Two of the theme clues didn't really work for me but that happens sometimes. I can accept that someone somewhere has used the phrase "straight as a laser beam" even though I personally have never heard it. And I guess HIGH HORSE might be the actual snootiness itself even though I think the "metaphor for ..." construction would have worked better here. The phrase us "up on your HIGH HORSE," right? So you're up on your ... snootiness? No, you're up on your HIGH HORSE and that means you're snooty. I don't know. It's not working for me is what I'm saying.

                          
                          Last meal in Stamford: Kristian House,
                          Gabe Gonzalez, Vega Subramaniam, Mala
                          Nagarajan, Alex Jeffrey, Ollie Roeder,
                          Mike Nothnagel, Doug Peterson, Sam
                          Donaldson, PuzzleSister
                          So, as I said, I'm really tired and I think what I'll do here is leave the rest to you all. If you came here looking for answers, I posted the grid for you. If you have questions about a specific clue or answer, go ahead and comment. It'll get answered. Probably several times! I'll see you all back here next time. With any luck, Rex will be back tomorrow.

                          Love, PuzzleGirl

                          Kate's kisser in classic tongue twister / WED 4-1-15 / 1925 Pulitzer Prize Edna Ferber / Smarter Planet company / Kurtis Mayfield's Move / Region off the Cote d'Azur / Irvin first art director of The New Yorker

                          $
                          0
                          0
                          Constructor: Sharon Delorme

                          Relative difficulty: Wednesdayish


                          THEME: Hijinks!— A selection of jolly pranks for April Fools' Day.

                          Word of the Day: INDC [Visiting the Library of Cong., say] —
                          Hmmm, turns out this isn't a word. My bad. But I'd love to visit the Library of Kong.
                          • • •
                          Howdy, puzzlers. Rex is on vacation somewhere, so this is Doug filling in for PuzzleGirl, who is probably asleep right now. And I don't blame her. We had an amazing and utterly exhausting weekend at the ACPT.

                          I considered doing some elaborate April Fools' Day post, but I'm sure Rex would get cranky emails if I posted a fake grid or made up extra theme entries. So let's just dive into today's puzzle.

                          Theme answers:
                          • 18A: JOY BUZZER ["Put 'er there, pal!"]
                          • 24A: DRIBBLE GLASS ["Here, have a drink"] 
                          • 38A: SQUIRTING FLOWER ["Smell my corsage"]— This one sounds weird. I can't imagine someone coming up to me and saying "Smell my corsage." And sticking your nose into a woman's corsage is a good way to get your face slapped.
                          • 51A: TRICK CANDLES ["Happy birthday! Make a wish and blow"] 
                          • 62A: PRANKSTER [Speaker of the clue for 18-, 24-, 38-, and 51-Across] 
                          So we've got a collection of pranks someone found in an old comic book ad. I once bought a joy buzzer (and a pair of x-ray glasses) from a comic book ad. The joy buzzer was a huge disappointment. Instead of delivering the shocking agony shown in the ad, all it did was vibrate weakly in my victim's palm. Where's the joy in that? The x-ray glasses, however, worked like a charm. I use them to watch HBO through my neighbor's wall.

                          I like the old-timey vibe of the pranks, but I bet this puzzle disappointed some solvers, who were hoping for a wacky April Fools' Day-esque gimmick in the grid and/or the clues. Maybe the trick is that there is no trick. Did you ever think of that? So meta.

                          Bullets:
                          • 1A: SO BIG! [1925 Pulitzer Prize winner for Edna Ferber]— The actual title doesn't have an exclamation point, but I think it needs one. I'm trying really hard not to type "That's what she said," so let's just move on. 
                          • 32A: ESAU [Kate's kisser in a classic tongue twister]— I have no idea. Let me Google that: "I saw Esau kissing Kate. I saw Esau, he saw me. And she saw I saw Esau." I want to add "... by the seashore" in there somewhere.
                          • 17A: STIEG [Larsson who wrote "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo"]— Good timing on this clue. I read today that a sequel to the late Stieg Larsson's Millennium Trilogy will be published in September. Cool.
                          • 42D: LOVE/HATE [Kind of relationship]— Nice entry. I also like 9D: COBWEB [Sign of disuse].
                          • 31A: OEN / 63D: NEO and 57A: OTRO / 2D: ORTO— Two sets of reversed entries. That's kind of weird. And they're all kinda ugly.
                          • 59D: ABBA [Group with the hit 1978 album "The Album"]— Let's go out on a high note with an ABBA/Van Halen mash-up.

                            Signed, Doug Peterson, Laughing Boy of CrossWorld
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