Rex Parker Does the NYT Crossword Puzzle

Constructor: Paolo Pasco

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium (for others, probably—harder for me)

THEME: none

Word of the Day: DERNIER CRI (18A: Latest thing) —

noun
noun: dernier cri
the very latest fashion. (google)

• • •

Man, this has been a rough week for me. The kind of week that makes me start worrying about my age. My times have been terrible, which wouldn't be so bad (we all have bad weeks) except the kid who posts his times on Twitter every night has set personal best time after personal best time. Even looking back over this completed grid, I have no idea how I could've come close to a personal best time. I mean, it wasn't a disaster (ca. 7 min.), but it was 2x personal best, and more like a Medium Saturday for me. And I have historically done very, very well on Paolo's puzzles. This has always pleased me, as he is young enough to be my son (he is, in fact, the same age as my daughter). So for a while there I could fancy that my "wavelength" was that of a high school senior. Apparently no more. Although ... it wasn't the "youthful" stuff that got me. In fact, there's not a lot that's especially TEEN about this puzzle. Maybe KEL, but honestly, original "Kenan & Kel" watchers are like 30 now. No, the stuff that got me was, like, ORR (?) and DAE (??) and then the clues, dear lord. I could've stared at 1D: 15, 30 and 50 are common ones and never ever come up with SPFS. I had SPI_E and still zero idea what 9D: What may be on the horizon? wanted (SPIRE). EARL Tupper?! Jeez louise, no (21A: Tupper of Tupperware fame). NANANA and not LALALA (8D: Refrain syllables). I'M IN LOVE and not I LOVE YOU (30A: Comment from the smitten). I won't even bore you with how many different answer went into the grid ahead of POPO (15A: Law force, slangily). DOZE and then WINK before WANE (24A: Start to go out), WAKE before WAVE (24D: Aspect of hydrodynamics), and on, and on, and on. How in the world does 17: Truth we hold to be self-evident? (FACT) work? That is, how is [Truth] not enough there? How does "self-evident" come in? I get that you're evoking "...we hold these truths to be self-evident..." but ... why? I was looking for "self"-related stuff. Grr.

But the grid is, its longer parts, fantastic. So much fresh fill. Long answers cascading into each other all over the place. I think the grid was Inside Puzzledom in a way that I am not. I have less than zero interest in ESCAPE ROOMs. I don't think I even know what a PUZZLE BOX looks like. I got those answers without too much trouble, but those answers seemed to be winking at people who weren't me. The bottom half of the grid was much easier for me, with only DAE / THEELEMENTS giving me significant trouble. NEKO, gimme (53A: Indie singer ___ Case), SUBTWEET, for Sure a gimme :) (34D: Social media post that refers to another user without directly mentioning that person) ... but that whole area N and NE of BATCAVE, yikes. Disaster. Didn't love the clues on this one, but I can't fault the grid. It's lovely.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Stu Ockman

Relative difficulty: Easy

THEME: none

Word of the Day: Tony ARMAS (48A: Former Red Sox slugger Tony) —

Antonio Rafael Armas Machado (born July 2, 1953) is a Venezuelan former professional baseball outfielder who played in Major League Baseball. He is the father of pitcher Tony Armas, Jr. and the older brother of outfielder Marcos Armas. // Armas Sr. was one of the top sluggers in the American League in the early 1980s. Twice he led the American League in home runs, and topped all of Major League Baseball in runs batted in during the 1984 season. He was, however, prone to injuries that affected his career. In his major league career, Armas went to the disabled list twelve times, missing 302 games. (wikipedia)

• • •

This was pleasantly surprising, for a few reasons. First, I expected it to be not great, possibly bad, because that's a lot of white space and most people can't fill that much empty space cleanly. And yet it was actually pretty good. Remarkably clean, especially given how many longer (7+) answers have to run through other long answers. The fill buckles a bit on the margins, in the short stuff, but that's where it's supposed to buckle (a little) when you're doing showy themelesses. In fact, 1-Across was probably the worst thing in the grid (not a great place to put your Worst Thing In The Grid, btw). Took one look at it, thought, "uh oh, here we go..." But no. I hardly winced at all after that, and honestly, all the longer answers are solid as heck. Not sure I'd call the grid FREAKING AWESOME (7D: Fantabulous), but it's definitely where a NYT Saturday should be, quality-wise.

The other surprise was the easiness. Big corners, a middle without any short toeholds ... I was pretty sure I'd be clawing my way through this slowly, but I hardly broke stride after I got the NW sorted out. Got FREAKING AWESOME off the FREA- and then proceeded immediately to go after the SE corner—via the "M" trifecta of MEESE / MANSE / MAXINE (there are three *more* "M" words down there, but they didn't work in concert to propel me through the puzzle, so screw them). Ironically, the answer I struggled with most down there was Tony ARMAS (48A). I say "ironic" because he was a big deal during my prime baseball card-collecting days, so I should've known him. He's got one of those names that ... rings a bell, but also sounds like a lot of other baseball names. Actually, I think it's a five-letter baseball Tony thing. Tony OLIVA. Tony PEREZ. I think those (more famous) names were blocking my way. But I worked out all the Downs, eventually.

Then back up the grid via PIED-À-TERRE (26D: Home away from home), then easily down into the SW corner (though ON A PLATE was rough—40A: Without putting in any effort), and then finally up into the NE corner, where I thought I might get very badly stuck. None of the Downs were clear to me from their clues. Is "ping resistance" a real thing? When I google it in quotation marks, I get a crossword site first thing. And dear lord just how "old" is the "old catchphrase" for ANACIN!? (11D: Product with the old catchphrase "Mother, please, I'd rather do it myself!"). Before my time, for sure. Nothing about that phrase says "aspirin." (Also, there are at least three answers flagged as "old" in this puzzle, which is two too many, I'm afraid) But I guessed SEEN AS and the short Acrosses came pretty easily. Last letter in was the "R" in TOREROS / RATE. The end.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

P.S. I finished a new off-season baseball crossword. Enjoy:

Rex Parker's Off-Season Baseball Crossword #2:

"Angel ... in the Outfield?" (PDF) (.PUZ)

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Erik Agard and Laura Braunstein

Relative difficulty: Easy-Challenging (I finished in Easy time, but I had an error; the puzzle is *very* proper-noun heavy, so you just as easily torch this puzzle as fail miserably...)

THEME:"Full-Body Cast"— actors names ("cast"!) have "body" parts embedded (smushed and rebused) inside them—so the rebus squares are BIT PARTS (112A: What eight actors took on for this puzzle?). I guess the body parts are tiny (i.e. shrunk down to fit in one square), hence "bit"...

The Cast:

EARTHA KITT (25A: "Batman" actress, 1967-68)
DON CHEADLE (31A: "Traffic" actor, 2000)
JOHN LEGUIZAMO (36A: "Super Mario Bros." actor, 1993)
ELSA LANCHESTER (54A: "Bride of Frankenstein" actress, 1935)
DENZEL WASHINGTON (65A: "Training Day" actor, 2001)
MICHELLE YEOH (80A: "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" actress, 2000)
RYAN PHILLIPPE (94A: "Crash" actor, 2004)
OLIVER PLATT (102A: "Frost/Nixon" actor, 2008)

Word of the Day: POCKY (73D: Chocolate-coated snack stick)—

Pocky(ポッキーPokkī, Japanese pronunciation: [pokʲꜜkʲiː] ( listen))/ˈpɒki/ is a Japanese snack food produced by Ezaki Glico. Pocky was first sold in 1966,^[1] and consists of chocolate-coated biscuit sticks. It was named after the Japanese onomatopoetic word pokkin(ポッキン). // The original was followed by almond coatings in 1971, and strawberry coatings in 1977. Today, the product line includes variations as milk, mousse, green tea, honey, banana, cookies and cream, and coconut flavored coatings, and themed products such as "Decorer Pocky", with colorful decorative stripes in the coating, and "Men's Pocky", a dark (bittersweet) chocolate and "mature" version. (wikipedia)

• • •

For a Sunday-sized rebus, I solved this one very quickly. Normally rebuses slow me down—even after I've caught on to the gimmick, the rebus squares can still be peskily elusive little buggers. And I'll admit to having trouble finding the body part in DENZEL WASHINGTON, as well as trouble remembering that RYAN PHILLIPPE even existed (haven't thought about him since "Cruel Intentions" (1999)). But otherwise, I cruised right through this thing, despite (and occasionally because of) all the proper nouns involved. The grid felt very dangerous—the constructors not only larded it with proper nouns, but dropped in some terminology not often seen in crosswords. POCKY! Do you all know what that is? I do ... but I think of it as having emerged as a foodstuff in America well after my childhood, so I don't know how much older folk know about it. And "NARUTO," yikes. I teach comics and *I* had trouble with that answer (largely because I don't read contemporary boy-manga (i.e. shonen)). I am very familiar with the title, but the spelling ... kept eluding me.

But the answer that actually brought me down was an answer I thought was more exotic than it turned out to be. I had the "Traditional Filipino dish" at 56A: Traditional Filipino dish marinated in vinegar and soy sauce as POREADOBO. Once I saw the clue, I figured it would just be some exotic word I didn't know, and I'd have to rely on all the crosses. So I did ... and one of the crosses betrayed me. 37D: Crash, with "out" (ZONK). I had the "Z" early on and unblinkingly wrote in ZONE. I think of "crash" as having to do with losing focus / steam, though it can also mean sleep. I don't feel like "ZONK out" and "Crash" are that interchangeable, whereas I think of "crashing" and "zoning out" as things I start doing every night on the couch around 9pm. Anyway, it's my bad, I'm sure ZONK is the better answer. I just fell in a hole I had no hope of getting out of. It happens. Rarely, to me, but it does.

I enjoyed the puzzle—the grid is full of sparkle. I had a few issues with the theme, though. HEAD, I would argue, includes EAR and EYE. Like, if you brought me a HEAD and it didn't have EARs and EYEs, I'd be like "what did you do to this HEAD!?" So there's redundancy in this body "part" list. Twice. Oh, no, wait: thrice—LEG presumably contains SHIN. You get the idea. Further, the LIVER is an internal organ, so that's ... weird. All the other parts are external / visible. So the assortment of body parts is pretty ragtag. But otherwise it's a pretty solid rebus, one I caught very early (at Cheadle) and only struggled with at OLIVER PLATT (I never saw "Frost/Nixon" and had no idea he was in it—I don't think of him as having any particularly iconic roles). Also, I happily put in RADAR at 103D: Real-time tool for meteorologists, so finding that LIVER was hard. And, again, why would I be looking for an internal organ?? But again, the whole thing was mostly entertaining and enjoyable. T'AIME is very rough, but it's the only answer I would absolutely bounce from the party (62D: "Je ___" (French words of affection)). The rest can stay. I mean, I probably wouldn't *talk* to IATE, but he can still hang if he wants (81D: "Must've been something __").

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

P.S. I finished a new off-season baseball crossword. Enjoy:

Rex Parker's Off-Season Baseball Crossword #2:

"Angel ... in the Outfield?" (PDF) (.PUZ)

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Brian Thomas

Relative difficulty: Easy

THEME: HEADPHONES (63A: They bring music to one's ears ... or a hint to 17-, 21-, 33-, 45- and 54-Across)— types of "phones" are at the "head" of each theme answer:

Theme answers:

ROTARY CLUB (17A: Service organization with a wheel logo)
CELL BLOCK (21A: Prison unit)
MOBILE HOME (33A: Domicile with wheels)
SMART ALECK (45A: Wiseass)
PAY FREEZE (54A: Action taken by a company in distress)

Word of the Day: ANASAZI (4D: Prehistoric Southwest culture) —

The Ancestral Puebloans were an ancient Native American culture that spanned the present-day Four Corners region of the United States, comprising southeastern Utah, northeastern Arizona, northwestern New Mexico, and southwestern Colorado.^[1] The Ancestral Puebloans are believed to have developed, at least in part, from the Oshara Tradition, who developed from the Picosa culture. // They lived in a range of structures that included small family pit houses, larger structures to house clans, grand pueblos, and cliff-sited dwellings for defense. The Ancestral Puebloans possessed a complex network that stretched across the Colorado Plateau linking hundreds of communities and population centers. They held a distinct knowledge of celestial sciences that found form in their architecture. The kiva, a congregational space that was used chiefly for ceremonial purposes, was an integral part of this ancient people's community structure. // In contemporary times, the people and their archaeological culture were referred to as Anasazi for historical purposes. The Navajo, who were not their descendants, called them by this term. Reflecting historic traditions, the term was used to mean "ancient enemies". Contemporary Puebloans do not want this term to be used. (emph. mine) (wikipedia)

• • •

OK I'm definitely better at night-solving than waking-and-solving. After a cruddy week of solving last week, I destroyed this puzzle in 2:40. Too bad I didn't like it better. The theme is dense, but dense with redundancies—cell phones and mobile phones are pretty much the same thing, and smart phones are just a subset of ... one of them. So the grid is dense with themers, but not ones that really diversify the theme or make it more interesting. In fact, all the themers are pretty dang dull. And then the grid (under pressure from all the theme stuff) is even duller. Just blah. Waytoo much junk for an easy puzzle (SEENO, ENDO, HABLA, ONICE, bleeping ODA!?). Complete snoozefest on every level. Usually being superfast endears me to a puzzle, but not today. Not even close.

Here were the parts that put up any resistance at all: ANASAZI (I can never remember this term, and it's not a term contemporary Puebloans like, so ... ); HUM (34D: Good engine sound) (I think I had the onomatopoeia MMM there at first, until LAUDING fixed things); ON ICE (had ON TAP) (31D: In reserve). That's it. Thank god it went by fast; I didn't have time to get well and properly bored. Nothing more to say about this one. I'll provide more commentary when the puzzle gives me more to work with.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: David J. Kahn

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging (for a Tuesday)

THEME: some recent art sale

Theme answers:

LEONARDO DAVINCI (7D: Creator of 38-Across)
"SALVATOR MUNDI" (38A: Renaissance painting that was sold in November 2017 for a record $450.3 million)
RESTORING (10D: Eliminating the effects of wear and tear on, as was done to 38-Across)
OLD MASTER (35D: 7-Down, for one)
CHRISTIE (14A: James ___, founder of the auction house that sold 38-Across)
CHARLES I (65A: English king who once owned 38-Across)
OIL (12D: 38-Across, for one)
ART (60D: Work of ___ (38-Across, e.g.))

Word of the Day: OREAD (35A: Mountain nymph) —

In Greek mythology, an Oread (/ˈɔːriˌæd, ˈɔːri.əd/; Ancient Greek: Ὀρειάς, stem Ὀρειάδ- Oreas/Oread-, from ὄρος, "mountain") or Orestiad/ɔːˈrɛstiˌæd, ɔːˈrɛsti.əd/; Όρεστιάδες, Orestiades) is a mountain nymph. They differ from each other according to their dwelling: the Idaeae were from Mount Ida, Peliades from Mount Pelion, etc. They were associated with Artemis, since the goddess, when she went out hunting, preferred mountains and rocky precipices. (wikipedia)

• • •

Straight trivia puzzle that seems to exist only because the main themers intersect at the central "O." Just not puzzly enough. Also, CHRISTIE is not a great themer (everyone knows the house as "Christie's"). Neither is the participle (?) RESTORING. This was slapped together in order to be (somewhat) timely, and odd forms of theme answers were shoehorned into this grid to make it all come out symmetrical—an ironic way to treat a grid that exists solely because the central themers intersect symmetrically. Then there's the fact that the whole idea of paintings selling for hundreds of millions of dollars, to Saudi princes or anyone, is at best uninteresting, at worst repulsive. Not my thing.

Considering how dense the theme is, the grid is pretty clean. IN A NET is of course unfortunate, but everything else hold up. I made only one significant mistake—went with DRYAD over OREAD at 35A: Mountain nymph. Since the "R" and "A" and "D" were actually correct, it took some time for me to see the error. I looked at "MY-" at the beginning of 32D: Make a declaration with a straight face (MEAN IT) for far too long. Thought, "MY ... BAD? MY ... ???" Then surrounding answers came together and I made the switch. Nothing else here was much trouble. I was going to rate this puzzle Medium, but that's because when I was done I thought I'd solved a Wednesday. But it's Tuesday. . . it's Finals Week, so I've kind of lost track of what day is what. Anyway, this is more difficult than the average Tuesday based solely on your need to know details of recent trivia, and your need to keep eye-jumping all over the place because of the cross-referenced themers. I was slower than usual, but it wasn't what I'd call *harder* than usual, if that makes sense. Or even if it doesn't. Good day.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Benjamin Kramer

Relative difficulty: Challenging

THEME: MAKE AN ENTRANCE (55A: Arrive with fanfare ... or what the circled squares do?)— circled squares are verbs that at least vaguely describe what someone "making an entrance" ... does:

Theme answers:

FRENCH ANTILLES (18A: Island group near Dominica)
DRIVE THROUGH (31A: Option at many a fast-food restaurant)
SIDE LIGHTING (40A: Producer of horizontal shadows)

Word of the Day: TOE POKE (60A: Unconventional soccer kick) —

toe-poke (pluraltoe-pokes)
(soccer) A hard kick to a football with the toe end of the boot. (wiktionary)

• • •

It's hard for me to pay any attention to this truly bad puzzle, both because it is truly bad and because Make Alabama Great For Once! Woo hoo! But back to the puzzle, yikes. Let me count the ways. First, the grid is inexplicable. Why is the word count so low? 70 words!?! The fill is sooo bad, why not at least try to make it smoother by taking the tremendous load off those NW / SE corners?! Or just build an entirely different grid. Honestly, this isn't just baffling, it's infuriating. Even if you thought this theme was good (it's not, more on that in a sec), *tell this constructor how to make a more viable grid*! Do your damn job, ugh. This is so disturbing, professionally. Best puzzle in the world? Grrrrr. So FERRITE (16A: Iron compound found in steel) and SIRENE (3D: Crumbly cheese similar to feta) and TOEPOKE—am I supposed to be *happy* with that? And -OTIC, ffs!?!?! It's mind-boggling. Almost, but not quite, as mind-boggling as cluing ORE as [Old Swedish coins]. Is it December April Fools Day? I have no idea what's happening.

[BREAD] [7D: "Cabbage"]

The theme is stupid because MAKE AN ENTRANCE means none of the things in the circled squares, and those circles do not actually MAKE AN ENTRANCE—i.e. they are a fundamental part of the words that they are in. It would've been .... something? ... if you had actually *added* those circled squares into a pre-existing word or phrase and somehow gotten another (wacky?) word or phrase. Then "entrance" would've made at least *some* sense. But they are just *found* in the answers they appear in. They don't "enter." Again, how is no one noticing this? I really dig NFLLOGO as an answer (10D: Imagine on the middle of a Super Bowl field)—it's insane-looking. The rest: shred.

OK, back to enjoying a rare night of hopefulness. Bye all.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Timothy Polin

Relative difficulty:Medium-Challenging

THEME: BURY THE / HATCHET (40D: With 43-Down, make peace ... or what you must do to complete this puzzle?)— the letters "AX" are "buried" underneath the grid (i.e. they extend off the grid—you have to mentally supply them)

Theme answers:

NONE OF YOUR BEESW(AX) (3D: "Butt out!")
STELLAR / PARALL(AX) (5D: With 45-Down, effect used by astronomers to measure distance)
SIT BACK / AND REL(AX) (9D: With 46-Down, chill out)
PERSONAL INCOME T(AX) (11D: Everyone's duty?)

Word of the Day: Chuck COLSON (44D: Chuck who was part of the Watergate Seven) —

Charles Wendell"Chuck"Colson (October 16, 1931 – April 21, 2012) was an Evangelical Christian leader who founded Prison Fellowship, Prison Fellowship International, and BreakPoint. He served as Special Counsel to President Richard Nixon from 1969 to 1973. // Once known as President Nixon's "hatchet man," Colson gained notoriety at the height of the Watergate scandal, for being named as one of the Watergate Seven, and pleaded guilty to obstruction of justice for attempting to defame Pentagon Papers defendant Daniel Ellsberg.In 1974, he served seven months in the federal Maxwell Prison in Alabama as the first member of the Nixon administration to be incarcerated for Watergate-related charges. (wikipedia) (emph. mine!)

• • •

I think the concept here is decent, but I didn't enjoy solving this much at all. This is probably because it relied on several proper nouns I just didn't know: a fictional TV character's last name (?) (ADLER) and Chuck COLSON, who ... yeah, before my time. I have asked for COLSON Whitehead to be the COLSON clue in the past, to no avail. I am never going to remember Chuck COLSON. He's not historically significant enough now. Some "bygone" people can survive their "bygoneness" and some can't. Chuck can't. So the names weren't great and the short stuff was all fussily / vaguely clued. No luck at all at first with TANK, ATON, OAF, FLUB, LYES, SPOT, NEWT, OHSO, etc. I also wrote in LENAPE instead of LAKOTA (stupid "L") (47D: Great Plains tribe), and never heard of STELLAR / PARALL(AX), and wrote in PERSONAL INCOMES (?) before I ever knew what the theme was, and then later forgot it was a themer and was wondering why the hell my SE corner wouldn't come together. Got BURY THE / HATCHET before I got any themer, then figured it out with SIT BACK / AND REL(AX). I enjoyed NONE OF YOUR BEESW(AX), but not much else. Four buried AXes ... OK. It's fine, passable. Not for me, really, but not bad, by any means.

My favorite part of this puzzle was discovering that Chuck COLSON was Nixon's "hatchet man." That is an amazing secret bonus theme-related answer. I also like the unusual grid shape (with its L/R symmetry and that weird isolated bucket of answers hanging in the middle of the grid (LAB MICE on top, TIN on the bottom). But overall this one just left me cold. It's not the puzzle's fault. It certainly met minimal standards for a Thursday. It just amuse or amaze me. Speaking of amusing and amazing, you should really give Paolo Pasco's independent puzzles a try. Get them here (at his puzzle blog, "Grids These Days"). His latest is a model of what a "wacky" theme should be. OK, by now.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Jacob Stulberg

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging

THEME: no

Word of the Day:"Blithe Spirit"(13D: "Blithe Spirit" role => ELVIRA) (!?) —

Blithe Spirit is a comic play by Noël Coward. The play concerns the socialite and novelist Charles Condomine, who invites the eccentric medium and clairvoyant, Madame Arcati, to his house to conduct a séance, hoping to gather material for his next book. The scheme backfires when he is haunted by the ghost of his annoying and temperamental first wife, Elvira, after the séance. Elvira makes continual attempts to disrupt Charles's marriage to his second wife, Ruth, who cannot see or hear the ghost. (wikipedia)

• • •

Not really into the 16-wide thing here. Themed puzzle can break the rules if the theme answers really necessitate it, but themelesses better have a Dang good reason, and there isn't one here. Actually, there's only one "good" reason to go super-wide like this on a Friday or Saturday—to give us a 16-letter answer (which we would never otherwise see, except possibly on a Sunday, I guess). No 16s here. The stagger stack in the middle is fine, but nothing earth-shattering. The rest of the grid is fine, but dry, and those open corners just feel .... taxed. Like, they're straining to keep it together. The most problematic thing, though, is an irritating over-reliance on proper nouns of dubious fame. Two different fictional character names!? (CORA, ELVIRA) Some guy named Jason ISAACS (?) (he played Lucius Malfoy ... [crickets]) (20A: Jason of the Harry Potter films).. And.a Mark Twain short story I've Never heard of. I think I know exactly one Twain short story: the jumping frog one. "A DOG'S TALE"?! Ha ha no. I guess the clue gave you some hints. I had TALE and no idea. That NE corner was brutal for that reason. REROOT, dear lord (14D: Take hold again, as a plant). I have no idea how I (correctly) guessed SAUL, but if I hadn't, I'd've been in major trouble (12D: Anointed one in the Book of Samuel). Clue on MGMLION was brutal (21A: Corporate trademark inspired by an Ivy League mascot). Anyway, this is adequate but uninspiring. Not enough emphasis on entertainment, too much obscure proper noun stuff (handle your names, constructors!). Oh, and ENTREPRENEURS is perhaps my least favorite word, so that didn't help.

[RE: ROOT]

LET IT GO > LET IT PASS (18A: Advice for touchy types). I didn't know "drift" was a kind of "rock," so GLACIAL DRIFT was rough for me (7D: Rock moved by ice). Even rougher was MIRROR SHADES. I had MIRROR- and still had no idea what could follow (21D: Reflective pair). I really have no occasion to think about mirrored sunglasses, so the term ... never occurred to me. If I never see KEBAB(S) again, it'll be too soon. I never have any clue how the puzzle is going to spell it. Incredibly irritating to have to go to the crosses for the vowels. I think the best thing in this grid is METABOLIC RATE and its clue (30A: Burning figure). I am looking side-eyed at NAPAS, which feels like a non-term (6D: Certain California wines). NAPA is a region, not a grape. I'd buy ZINS or MERLOTS or PINOTS but NAPAS?! NAPAS are cabbages. And that RISE clue, yikes. I had to look it up afterwards:

Rise is the distance from the middle of the crotch seam (right between your legs) to the top of the waistband. It usually ranges from 7 inches to 12 inches. (Primer)

I realize now that I have heard it, but only in the term "low-rise jeans." It's very clear that this puzzle and I just have very different ideas of what "fun" clues look like.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Sam Ezersky

Relative difficulty: Easy

THEME: none

Word of the Day:"Marcus WELBY, M.D."(35D: TV M.D.) —

Marcus Welby, M.D. is an American medical drama television program that aired Tuesdays at 10:00–11:00 p.m. (EST) on ABC from September 23, 1969, to July 29, 1976. It starred Robert Young as the title character, a family practitioner with a kind bedside manner, who was on a first name basis with many of his patients (and who also made house-calls), James Brolin, as Steve Kiley, M.D, a younger doctor who played Welby's partner, and Elena Verdugo, who played Welby and Kiley's dedicated and loving nurse and office manager, Consuelo Lopez. Marcus Welby, M.D., was produced by David Victor and David J. O'Connell. The pilot, A Matter of Humanities, had aired as an ABC Movie of the Week on March 26, 1969. (wikipedia)

• • •

Now this is my kind of *Friday* puzzle. Even in blurry, just-woke-up mode, I was able to cruise through this thing in just over 6 minutes. In fact, it was so entertaining, so unfull of garbage, and so doable, that it woke me up in a gentle, pleasant way. In that sense, it functioned a bit like my morning coffee (which I haven't made yet). Easy Saturdays (that are also *good* Saturdays) are delightful things. I have often invoked the 1-Across Rule, which states that if 1-Across is a gimme, the likelihood that the puzzle will play Easy shoots way up. Today, I discovered the 1-Down Rule variant. With nothing in the grid, 1A: Extra-special delivery? was no help (nothing about that clue screams OCTO-!), but 1D: De ___ manera (elsewise: Sp.) (OTRA) was a gimme, even for this Spanish non-speaker, and then boom ANKA! And ANKA gave me two more Downs (TEAK! CHEN!) and zoooom, buh bye. Felt like no time before I went RAW FOOTAGE to PING to ZAPPA, 1, 2, 3. After a brief struggle with TEE UP (28D: Do some course prep?) and SEDGE (29D: Papyrus, e.g.), and a predictable RIP-for-RAP mistake, I was halfway done.

In poetry, there is a term for a strong pause in the middle of a line—it's called a "caesura." Well today, for me, this puzzle *definitely* had a caesura. In fact, the strong pause highlighted the grid's architecture—there are two halves (N/NE and S/SW) joined only by two relatively tiny passageways (roughly, the "P" in UVLAMP and the "T" in TAMALE). I moved quite freely through the N/NE half but then could not squeeze through either aperture into the S/SW. Seemed like ever Mexican food item I knew started with "T" (46D: Taqueria offering), so no help there, and I thought bazaars would have TENTS (23A: Bazaar parts), so stuck there too. So I went from a sprint to a dead stop. But then I just inferred the "S" at the end of SHOPS and went from "no idea" to "ohh, right!" at 22D: Start of a fitness motto ("USE IT ..."). Then there was something about a mantis's EAR, and I was back in business. Zoom to the end.

PLEASE STAY doesn't sound like anything a "Courteous host" would say (11D: Courteous host's request). It sounds like something a desperate host, or potentially creepy date, would say. I can imagine contexts where a host might say that, I guess, but that clue still feels off. My only real objection, though, is to the YA in "WHERE ARE YA?" (47A: Informal question to someone who's late). That is baloney. If you're allowing that, you're allowing "YA" to sub for "YOU" in any phrase, anywhere, at any time. In fact, this incarnation of the YOU-to-YA thing feels particularly awkward. Formal sentence structure ... but then just "YA" thrown in there. "WHERE YOU AT!?"That's informal. "WHERE ARE YA?" does not have enough stand-alone cred to warrant that ridiculous spelling change.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Andrew J. Ries

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME:"Oh, One Last Thing"— familiar phrases have long "O" sound added to end, resulting in wacky phrases:

Theme answers:

STIFF AS A BORDEAUX (24A: Comparatively strong, like some French wine?)
VANITY PHARAOH (40A: Egyptian leader obsessed with his appearance?)
NEW YORK MEZZO (43A: Certain Lincoln Center soprano?)
ROLLING IN THE DEPOT (63A: Shooting craps while waiting for one's train?)
I REST MY QUESO (85A: Comment from a cook who cools the cheese sauce before serving?)
KOSHER PICCOLO (89A: Woodwind that's O.K. to play?)
LOVE IS IN THE ARROW (104A: Cupid's catchphrase?)

Word of the Day: MIRA NAIR (44D: Director of 1991's "Mississippi Masala") —

Mira Nair (born 15 October 1957) is an Indian American filmmaker based in New York City. Her production company, Mirabai Films, specializes in films for international audiences on Indian society, whether in the economic, social or cultural spheres. Among her best known films are Mississippi Masala, The Namesake, the Golden Lion-winning Monsoon Wedding and Salaam Bombay!, which was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film. (wikipedia)

• • •

What are we doing here? I mean ... what? Add-a-sound? That's it? What year is it? This was grating. I learned who MIRA NAIR is—that's the puzzle's one upside. I'm genuinely startled by the rest of it. Startle by how ambition-free it is. How 1998 it is. How not funny the theme clues are. Just startled. Also, a hearty "*&%^ you!" to 102D: Go forcefully (through). I had PLO_ and wrote in a "D" ... and then wondered how [Certain soft drinks, informally] could be DEDS. Wanted to change it to DADS (the root beer), but was 99% sure PHEROMONA was wrong. DEWS!? F*** that S***. Seriously, shove your skater-bro-speak nonsense. The puzzle had already lost me by this point, but finishing here, with this weird cross, took me from mere dislike to contempt. Don't get cute, especially when you haven't bothered to get serious about your *&$^ing theme in the first place. Man, I am swearing tonight. I care a lot. What can I say?

Misspelled PHARAOH, probably because of that stupid horse a few years back, and so that section of the puzzle got rough for me. Between the *G* SPOT and the MODEL *T*, parsing many answers in that area proved difficult. Also, I don't really know who LOUIS NYE is, though the name rings a faint bell (21A: Comedian who was a regular on "The Steve Allen Show"). MIRA NAIR, I absolutely did not know. The whole puzzle, I was thinking that "Mississippi Masala" was "Mississippi Burning" (1988, not 1991). Needed every single cross to get her, and still wasn't sure about it at all. Spelled HASEK like so: HACEK (90D: Goaltender Dominik in the Hockey Hall of Fame). Nope. I'm never ever sure if I've got the vowels right in AMIDALA. Can't believe anyone still knows what WEEBLES are (116A: Egg-shaped Hasbro toys introduced in 1971). They were advertised on TV when I was a kid and *I* forgot they existed. Really helped that for Saturday's puzzle I'd spent several minutes combing through Paul ANKA videos on YouTube (38D: Paul who sang "Lonely Boy"). I forgot that "Rolling in the Deep" was a thing, so ROLLING IN THE DEPOT was by far the hardest themer to pick up. But despite the proper noun trouble (all over), this was a pretty quick solve. Until PLOD / DEDS, that is. Ugh. Sundays, man.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Bruce Haight

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME:INNER DEMONS (61A: Personal struggles ... or, literally, features of 17-, 26-, 36- and 52-Across)— "DEMON" can be found embedded in every theme answer:

Theme answers:

CLAUDE MONET (17A: "Water Lilies" painter)
PRIDE MONTH (26A: June, in the L.G.B.T.Q. movement)
MADE MONEY (36A: Profited)
CODE MONKEY (52A: Computer programmer, disparagingly)

Word of the Day: CODE MONKEY—

noun
informal
noun: code monkey; plural noun: code monkeys
a computer programmer, especially an inexperienced or unskillful one. (google)

• • •

As an example of this very common type (embedded words with a revealer of INNER whatever and such), this one is pretty solid. You got a good set of themers here—that is, the answers are colorful all on their own, with PRIDE MONTH being the strongest and MADE MONEY the weakest. The only time I really went 'ugh' was at AYS. I mean ... no. AYES, yes. AYS!?!? That's idiotic. But as I say, everything else holds up OK. Despite relatively open corners (which often spell trouble, time-wise), I cruised through this one very quickly, *except* in the SW, where I dead-stopped a couple of times trying to get in, largely because CODE MONKEY was unknown to me (and I had no idea of the theme at this point). Also, the phrase AT A TIME didn't seem at all apt for 48A: Simultaneously, perhaps because 99% of the time you hear the phrase AT A TIME, it's immediately following the word ONE ... which does little to convey simultaneity. Other issues in that corner—I had LEI for TEE; I found 60A: Public health org. far too vague to be any help; 68A: "Fuhgeddaboutit!" coulda gone all kinds of ways; and, you know, AYS. Luckily ELDER, RIM, and the inferred "S" at the end of what turned out to be AYS helped me get MAD DASH, so I wasn't stuck for too too long.

When I was done, I didn't realize there'd been a revealer, so I looked at all the theme answers and thought, "Huh ... it's Monday, so they put MON. in all the answers ... weird." That is seriously what I thought was going on. Not much else to say about this one. Two other errors I had were DUET for DYAD (51D: Twosome) and READY for HANDY (69A: At one's fingertips). SOAPING windows seems like an awful lot of trouble for a Halloween prank. I mean, why not egg? Throw, splat, run. Bada bing. Soaping is a little too close to straight washing someone's windows—how is that bad, exactly? This is not a prank I've ever seen done, or heard of anyone doing (no one that I knew personally, anyway). I have to go now, as I can't stand to look at AYS anymore. See you Tuesday.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Andrew Kingsley

Relative difficulty: Challenging (for a Tuesday)

THEME: CANDY CANE (36A: Christmas tree decoration ... or a hint to what the circled letters form)— circled squares form four cane shapes, each of which contains the name of a brand of candy. Top of the grid has related answer pair: SWEET / TOOTH (4A: With 14-Across, weakness for sugar):

THE CANES:

AIRHEADS
STARBURST
BIT O' HONEY
POP ROCKS

Word of the Day: ANSA (33D: Archaeological handle) —

noun, pluralansae
[an-see]
1.
Archaeology.aloopedhandle,especiallyofavase.
2.
Astronomy.eitheroftheapparentextremitiesoftheringsofSaturnorofotherplanets,especiallywhenviewedfromtheearthorfromspacecraftundercertainconditions,whentheylookliketwohandles. (dictionary.com)

• • •

I'm sitting here wondering how, in nearly 2018, so much Maleskan garbage is being allowed into a Tuesday crossword grid. I haven't seen this much super-archaic crosswordese in one puzzle in a while. So: LEU (44D: Romanian currency) and ANSA (33D: Archaeological handle). Can we talk about LEU and ANSA? I mean, we all agree -ETIC is god-awful (the price you pay for trying to cram SWEET / TOOTH in there, I guess), but LEU and ANSA are at least words, so perhaps people will not understand their terribleness. LEU is a word that only hardcore solvers and actual Romanians know. Please don't try to convince me otherwise, because I will immediately ask you "OK, then what's bani?" (it's the plural of ban; there are 100 bani in a LEU; bani is also the Romanian word for "money"—see how smart the internet makes me!). You used to see it back when Maleska thought "People should learn things! Exotic, obscure 3-letter things!" You hardly ever see it now, because a combination of software and good judgment has caused constructors to have to rely less on "it's a word somewhere!" junk. Those of us who have been solving for 25+ years can pull LEU out when we have to, but ick. Ick. So many EWS (also a terrible answer, btw). ANSA falls in the same category as LEU. Old-timey solvers: "Sigh, let me pull out of my Uncle Gene's Big Bag of Crossword Arcana and ... dig around ... yep, here it is ANSE ... nope, that's a Faulkner character, I think ... ASE ... nope, she's in some opera, maybe? ... ABIE ... nope, that's the Irish Rose guy ... here we go: ANSA. Good ol'ANSA. Who could ever forget ...?"

So this puzzle apparently had a theme, one which was both dense enough to crush the Fill Quality under its weight, but inessential enough to be totally invisible until the end. I could feel the circles aplenty, and I could also feel myself not caring (this is the bad fill's fault, not the theme's fault). When you get super-ambitious and full of your grand ideas, you start excusing all the consequences, all the junk that starts popping up in your grid. It all starts looking Just Fine to you because "OOH, my Big Idea, the Precious!" Sadly, I gotta solve all your ideas, small and big. And since I didn't even see the big, the small ... man, the small just destroyed the experience.

Plus this puzzle is totally misslotted on a Tuesday. I was 50% over my normal Tuesday time. And even if I adjust for sunrise solving (always slower), still, rough. The whole SE corner! Just getting in there was rough. Totally forgot the Gilmore girl; RENTAL has one of those stupid "it" clues on it (41A: I'm not buying it!), so no hope. BURST's clue was no help (54D: Succumb to pressure?). SIT's clue—yet another "?" clue—also no help (67A: Put an end to something?). I'm not even sure I get how it fits SIT.*** And "TANGLED"!?!?! I saw that movie in the theater and still couldn't get it. It's a normal word. It's Tuesday. That corner is already a *&%! show. It's Tuesday. Black sheep are RARE!? That is ... not how I think of them, idiomatically. And what is this phrase, "shore dinner"? (64A: Part of a shore dinner) Like ... a dinner you eat on / near the shore? "Shoreside," maybe? Also, shouldn't that clue have a "perhaps" on the end? Or is there some specific MUSSELS requirement now for shore dinners (whatever those are)? #notallshoredinners ... Now I'm looking over at ATROPOS! (40D: Fate who cuts the thread of life). LOL, wow, OK, sure, *Tuesday* puzzle, whatever you say. Seriously, you can hear the puzzle straining under the weight of its theme. I'm worried the whole grid is going to collapse any second. See you later.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

***Re: that SIT clue, my wife just realized that [Put an end to something?] probably refers to putting your *rear* end ... to ... something that I hope is a chair. Or Santa's lap. Something!? Anyway, what a horrible clue.

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: TALITHA RANDALL

Relative difficulty: EASY

THEME: CLOUD NINE — Horizontal theme answers are different ways to get nine by way of addition. So if basic arithmetic is your bag, this puzzle will have you on cloud nine.

Word of the Day: SONANT (59A: Voiced) —

adjective
1.
sounding; having sound.
2.
Phonetics. voiced (opposed to surd ).
noun, Phonetics.
3.
a speech sound that by itself makes a syllable or subordinates to itselfthe other sounds in the syllable; a syllabic sound (opposed toconsonant ).
4.
a voiced sound (opposed to surd ).
5.
(in Indo-European) a sonorant.

• • •

Hi, crossword friends. Andrea here. Longtime reader, first-time guest-blogger. I will confess more than a little anxiety about guest-blogging for Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld. I've been around this Internet of ours. I know what the comments section can be like (though this is true of any blog or website on any topic, including knitting and butter pecan ice cream ... aaaaand now you know exactly which corners of the Internet I frequent). Back when mousepads were a thing, I used to think my big, million-dollar idea was going to be marketing mousepads that said DON'T READ THE COMMENTS. On to the puzzle!

I thought this puzzle was a snooze. Right off the bat (does everyone start up there in the northwest corner? Or do some people start somewhere else? Like the way some people always read magazines from the back?), I was worried that the biggest surprise in this puzzle was going to be which spelling of TSAR/CZAR(1A: Russian ruler) we were looking at. From there, it was an unexciting jog through standard-issue answers. I paused for a moment on READER (16A: Bibliophile) and permitted myself a philosophical tangent. A bibliophile is someone who loves books, yes. But does that necessarily mean he or she is a reader? Aren't there bibliophiles who love books qua books but don't read them? And more interestingly (to me): people who read--even literature--but using an e-reader. Are those people readers but not bibliophiles? I kept filling the puzzle automatically as I pondered this, because it was more interesting than the fusty answers that make up this puzzle. Like GIN (24A: Game-ending cry at a card table) and RUDE(4D: Like cutting in line) and SASS(41A: Be flippant with) and TORNADO(35D: What transported Dorothy to Oz). These all just feel like they were pulled from a mothball-scented drawer in someone's aunt's house, not a fun aunt but like an aunt you have to stay with for two nights when your mom goes to have a baby and dad can't possibly be asked to "babysit" so you go stay at Aunt Faye's kind of weird-smelling apartment and she teaches you to play gin rummy and warns you not to sass her but she lets you watch The Wizard of Oz on TV before putting you to bed in a trundle bed without even spritzing detangler on your hair for you. Even the inclusion of LENA(28A: Dunham of "Girls") and MARC(25A: Designer Jacobs) felt like when a grown-up tries to dab or fidget-spin her way into the hearts of young people. This is a thing I am sensitive to as a middle-aged teacher of teenagers. All in all, this puzzle feels vintage in a squicky way.

Here is a picture of Lena Dunham wearing Marc Jacobs!

Theme answers, on which I refuse to spend a lot of words:

ONE and EIGHT is NINE
FOUR and FIVE is NINE
SEVEN and TWO is NINE

NINE, of course, was only half of the "theme." It was CLOUD NINE. When it comes to that idiom, I think the CLOUD part is more interesting than the NINE part. I would have loved to see in this puzzle tastier words like cirrus, cumulus, stratus, nimbus. Even miasma. Nebula. There are all these cool cloud words! Maybe even nine of them! Why are we doing arithmetic? Then again, I live in Phoenix. It was like 70 and sunny today. Of course I want clouds.

But look. There were a couple of neat things in this puzzle, though. Little echoes. We had both OVEST (6D: Sunset's direction, in Sorrento) and ESTE (18A: Sunrise's direction, in Sonora). TORPEDOS (14A: Nixes, as a proposal) calling to mind the aforementioned TORNADOS from elsewhere in the puzzle. These are nice and I guess sort of related to the cloud theme, in a loose way, or at least to the cloud theme I wish had been in this puzzle.

As a logophile (a thing you can be no matter how or where you read), I liked seeing INDEGENE (8D: Person native to an area) and SONANT (59A: Voiced), adjectives that are basically never used in informal spoken language and too infrequently even in writing.

Bullets:

SARGE (27A: V.I.P. at boot camp) — can't read this word without thinking of Beetle Bailey, which is a thing the totally fictional Aunt Faye probably likes along with her cigarettes in the morning.

LIAISE (58A: Network (with)) — according to the most cursory Internet research, this is a back-formation from "liaison." I'm into that. I've been reading John McWhorter's Words on the Move and so I am feeling especially wiggly and descriptivist about language these days. Wheeee!
WEIR (40D: Small dam) — This is a good word to know for Scrabble and crosswords, plus it reminds me of Bob Weir of the Grateful Dead, which reminds me of my brother Chris. But then I am also reminded how Bob Weir, like, welcomed John Mayer into the Grateful Dead family over Twitter this year and I am uncomfortable all over again.
SONANT (59A: Voiced)— I picked this as my Word of the Day because it's lovely and sort of rare but totally up-front about what it means (SON- = sound) and also because it looks a bit like the word Sonata, which is--look at that!--the name of my book that came out in May and which Rex Parker nudged me to put in a little plug for. So if you are a logophile or a bibliophile or both, if you like music, maybe you'll consider checking it out here or, better yet, at your local, independent bookstore.

Signed, Andrea Avery for Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Alex Eaton-Salners

Relative difficulty: EASY

THEME: THEME— WHAT IS THIS SHAPE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PUZZLE?– Four theme answers spell out different things that might be represented by the Y-shaped black object in the
middle of the grid.

Word of the Day: WHATEVS (13A: “Oh, I don’t care”)—

both the best answer in the puzzle and also my reaction to the puzzle when completed.

• • •

Well isn’t it your lucky day? A second guest blogger in a row! Morgan here; like Andrea yesterday, I’m a first-time guest blogger but long-time puzzle-solver and Rex-reader. I would say I solve the puzzle about 40% slower than Rex and I judge it about 30% less cantankerously. I thought I was covering last week’s Thursday, which I found to be a pretty decent example of the day. I had started writing up a lovely post for that day when Rex and I realized our wires had been crossed, so I volunteered to do today instead. Hoooooo boy, was that a mistake.

I really did not enjoy this puzzle, but neither did it put up any resistance. From plunking down CAMARO (7A: Mustang alternative) to the final answer, INURN (38A: Prepare for entombment, say) took me just over 7.5 joyless minutes, a good 2-3 minutes short of my Thursday average these days. I don’t recall any point at which I paused for more than a handful of seconds because of a tough clue. I’d guess some people probably struggled in moving from section to section because the openings are pretty tight (moving from the north to the southeast was the toughest part for me), but other than that this feels closer to a Wednesday.

My first hint that I would not like this puzzle came with the first theme answer I got, THE LETTTER Y (28D: One more thing they might represent). I had THELE and figured it had to be THE LETTER something, so I put that down and waited until FLYINTO fell (65A: Reach by air). I stopped and, looking at the shape in the center of the puzzle, actually said aloud (I think—you’d have to ask my husband) “Oh no.” That shape can also represent:

14D: SLINGSHOT
15D: GOALPOSTS
26D: TUNINGFORK

That’s it? Four measly, bland theme answers covering 38 squares? Am I missing something? If not, no thank you.

The rest of the puzzle doesn’t have much to commend it, I’m afraid. The big spanner GENERAL HOSPITAL (16A: Winner of 13 Outstanding Drama Series Emmys) is kind of fun, but I wished it were theme-relevant. I had no idea that FIFI was in fact “diminutive of Josephine” (33D) despite sharing the gay world’s unabashed loathing of Phi Phi O’Hara. And I RECKON I always enjoy some colloquialisms (60A: “S’pose so”). But that’s about all I’ve got on the plus side.

The fill here has some definite sore spots, and I’m not sure why given the theme isn’t all that dense.

ITE
SERA
ALPE
CONT
CRI
ERAT

And the absolutely horrendous INURN/GENII stack (to me, that’s where the puzzle probably should have been scrapped)

Finally, there’s two politically tricky entries. First, we get IVANKA (6d: The Trump who wrote “The Trump Card: Playing to Win in Work and Life”). I’d prefer something like “The Trump whose husband is totally going to fix the Middle East and not at all going to be indicted jklol.” And then we haveAL FRANKEN (35D: “Senator in 2017 news”), a clue that was undoubtedly different when this puzzle was written (as an education policy professor, I’m assuming it was something like “Senator who grilled Betsy DeVos about the difference between proficiency and growth”).

So, not very enjoyable. But writing this entry was fun regardless, so I look forward to doing it again!

Bullets:

TSARINA (22D: Winter Palace resident) – a delightful break from the usual
TSAR/CZAR.
PETE (27A: St. ____ (site of a spring vacay))– sorta wish this was referring to St.
Petersburg, Russia, but probably that’s a little on the bleak side.
SWANN (44A: Elizabeth _____ “Pirates of the Caribbean” protagonist) – as a USC
Trojan I obviously would prefer this was clued for our current athletic director /
former graceful wide receiver Lynn Swann.
PRAIRIE (62: Badlands National Park feature) – I actually didn’t know this; I
thought the Badlands were mostly rock formations. But apparently this park contains the largest undisturbed prairie in the U.S.

Signed, Morgan Polikoff for Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Sam Trabucco

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: none

Word of the Day: SWARDS (36D: Grasslands) —

noun
plural noun: swards
an expanse of short grass.
Farming
the upper layer of soil, especially when covered with grass. (google)

• • •

And so I'm back. From outer space. Actually, I just took a couple days off so I could finally and completely put the fall semester to bed. Also, Andrea (Wednesday) and Morgan (Thursday) were really excited to do their first stand-in write-ups, and far be it from me to say 'no.' Which reminds me—I'll be off Christmas Day, as my lovely non-Christmas-celebrating friend Laura Braunstein has graciously agreed to allow me to spend Christmas Eve / morning focused on food and family and possibly "Star Wars" instead of another crossword grid. But then I'll be back bright and early on Boxing Day, which isn't a thing here, but I still like to say it. It's nice when days have names.

[The second-greatest Christmas song, after "O Holy Night"]

I feel like we just saw ESCAPE ROOM, and I also feel like we had this *exact* clue for SHOPS, like, in the past week (24A: Bazaar makeup). . . well, almost: six days ago: [Bazaar parts]. The word "Bazaar" shows up an *awful* lot in SHOPS clues, despite the fact that I go to SHOPS all the time and have no idea when, if ever, I've been to a bazaar. Stop relying on bygone / musty cluing, folks. Whoa, weird: SHOPS has been clued as a verb only *twice* in the Shortz era (out of 16 appearances). And yet five clues have mentioned "bazaars" (???). OK, moving on—I liked this puzzle OK, but I think it gets pretty dull right through the middle, i.e. right through the part that would've been hardest to fill cleanly. I think he succeeded in achieving relative cleanness, but I don't want *just* clean. I'd like exciting, or at least unusual. TECH SCHOOLS feels mildly off (daughter's currently applying to a lot of [Engineer training schools], and we've never used that phrase). Unless TECH SCHOOLS are different from universities that train engineers. Is Caltech a "tech school"? It sure sounds like one. The category's a bit blurry. TALLAHASSEE is just a lot of favorable letters. See also STRESS EATER, which is at least a mildly interesting, if slightly depressing, answer. Middle just felt easy and bland, whereas the top and bottom felt suitably FREAKY (that may be overstating it, but, when compared to the center ... I stand by FREAKY).

Did you know AMPLIFIER and GUITAR AMP have the same number of letters? (1A: Piece of equipment at a rock concert) It is possible that now, you do, if you are like me and confidently plunked down AMPLIFIER. Crosswordese goddess Indie.ARIE got me out of that mistake pretty quickly, though. Who calls table tennis "PONG" (9D: Game with a 40-millimeter ball, informally)? PONG is an early Atari video game. That clue was rough. I did a very weird thing at 5D: "Great" one in Africa (APE). I was thinking "horn" (is the Horn of Africa "great" ... I think not, but ...). But HORN didn't fit, so I thought of some other "great" geographical feature and went with ... RIM (?). Now, there appears to be a Rim of Africa—in the Cape Mountains of South Africa. But I think somehow Pacific Rim / Ring of Fire (which of course has nothing whatsoever to do with Africa) was also dancing around my head. Anyway, FAME / IPASS / TALES / USHAPE got me going up there, and I didn't have many other problems after that except at the very end, where I through ROOM TO NEGOTIATE across, but then couldn't get the first few Downs I looked at to work, then wrote in UH, SURE" at 44A: "Sure, I guess" (yes, I really did this) and then took out the NEGOTIATE part ... only to have to put it back in a few seconds later. Dumb dumb dumb. But still in under 6, and in the early morning no less, so this must've been a tad on the easy side.

Bullets:

GIRL CODE— I've heard of "bro code" but not GIRL CODE. It appears to be an MTV show (?). I tend to be suspicious of the exclusionary conformity imposed by "codes," but I'll leave GIRL CODE for not-men to comment on.
SWARDS (36D: Grasslands)— Had SW- and managed to put down not one but two wrong answers before I got SWARDS. Can you guess what they were?*
YPRES (41A: W.W. I battle site)— whoa, totally forgot about YPRES. Had the "Y" and was trying to decide between YALTA and YEMEN ... sometimes your Pattern Recognition Brain totally overrides your Reality-Based Brain

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

*1. SWAMPS 2. SWALES—both of which are far, far marshier than SWARDS

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Matthew Sewell

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: none

Word of the Day: PAVLOVA (13D: Meringue-based dessert named for a ballerina) —

Pavlova is a meringue-based dessert named after the Russian ballerina Anna Pavlova.^[1] It is a meringue dessert with a crisp crust and soft, light inside, usually topped with fruit and whipped cream. The name is pronounced /pævˈloʊvə/, or like the name of the dancer, which was /ˈpɑːvləvə/. // The dessert is believed to have been created in honour of the dancer either during or after one of her tours to Australia and New Zealand in the 1920s. The nationality of its creator has been a source of argument between the two nations for many years. In 2008, Helen Leach published The Pavlova Story: A Slice of New Zealand's Culinary History, in which she argued that the earliest known recipe was published in New Zealand. Later research by Andrew Wood and Annabelle Utrecht suggested the dessert originated in the United States and was based on an earlier German dish. The dessert is a popular dish and an important part of the national cuisine of both Australia and New Zealand, and with its simple recipe, is frequently served during celebratory and holiday meals. It is a dessert most identified with the summer time and popularly eaten during that period including at Christmas time, however it is also eaten all year round in many Australian and New Zealand homes. (wikipedia)

• • •

Another one that hangs together fine but is not terribly exciting. This one has some very weak joints and (despite CHANCE THE RAPPER), an oldish frame of reference. Not "oldish" in the sense of "appealing to older solvers" (although that may be true, who know), but "oldish" in the sense of "omg I haven't seen SATRAP(S) or MRE(S) in a puzzle in ages." Basically, the puzzle is totally OK with fill that was mostly totally OK 20 years ago, but now shouts "don't use me!" I have no idea how someone can look at DAR alongside AINU and think "... it's fine. It's fine. My beautiful baby corner is fine." One or the other of those somewhere in the grid (preferably a grid that didn't have much *other* short garbage in it) is fine. But DAR / AINU as a team!? And the only thing they're holding up is ... TENANTS and ON TRUST and (zzz) STUDIO EXECUTIVE. No. Try again. But parts of this grid were delightful. I especially liked the sly wink at Tom Selleck. I'm talking of course about the crossing of SEXIEST MAN ALIVE and MUSTACHE WAX. Those answers form a giant "T" (for Tom!) at the dead center of the grid. What, you thought that was coincidence? Look, you can clue TOM as Tom Riddle all you want, puzzle (24A); I know who you're pining for...

My four trips to New Zealand finally pay off today with PAVLOVA, which I got instantly. PAVLOVA is like a national dish. Practically a requirement of residency. You know they give you a lei when you get off the plane in Hawaii? Well they shove PAVLOVA down your gullet when you deplane in Auckland. It's fun! I was less lucky with the Eric Carmen portion of the grid. That's a pretty smart (and tough) clue on SIMILES (56A: "She's Like the Wind" and others). I had the SI- and wrote in SINGLES (which is accurate enough). I enjoyed the trick more than I might have because I was able to figure it out without.a total solving breakdown. Also escaped SEETHE-for-SEE RED (27D: Come to a boil) and PULL TAB-for-RING TAB (1A: Bygone can opener) without much trouble.

"I HEAR IT" is ridiculous (2D: "Shh, something's coming!"). There's nothing "Shh" about "I HEAR IT". There's nothing "something's coming!" about "I HEAR IT". And there's nothing stand-alone-worthy about "I HEAR IT". Three strikes. Out.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Mary Lou Guizzo and Jeff Chen

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME:"Making a Fast Buck"— the theme is RUDOLPH the red-nosed reindeer, THE MOST FAMOUS / REINDEER OF ALL. If you connect the circled squares, alphabetically, you get the profile of what purports to be a reindeer—RUDOLPH, actually. A rebused "RED" provides the nose (see above). Other theme answers:

Theme answers:

GENE AUTRY (44A: Singer with a #1 hit about 123-Across)
SHINY NOSE (45D: Feature depicted in the upper left of this puzzle)
NORTH POLE (82D: Starting point for an annual flight) (why would you put this in your puzzle without a corresponding symmetrical answer? Is TOOK A SIDE thematic? Is that something Santa did when he made Rudolph the guider of the sleigh? Also, SANTA is in this grid (94D: Deliverer of Christmas packages), and he also has no symmetrical theme equivalent ... anything goes, I guess)

Word of the Day: DO LOOP (100D: Repetitive bit of computer code) —

Noun
do loop (pluraldo loops)
(computing) A section of computer code in which an instruction or group of instructions is executed repeatedly depending on the value of a Boolean condition. (wiktionary)

• • •

Just did a red-nose themed puzzle like three days ago, so this one ... was anti-climactic. Also, just not as good. The other one was a superior puzzle on every level. This one is a child's placemat game. Once you get that it's RUDOLPH, the theme stuff just fills itself in (mostly), and then it's just ... you know, drawing. And, as you can see in grid image above, I followed that damned alphabetical dot-to-dot puzzle to the letter (!) and got ... some Dr. Moreauvian abomination. These draw-on-your-puzzles puzzles almost never work out, and the more complicated the drawing, the worse it usually is. Some will find this idea cute. Some who don't solve a ton of puzzles. That's fine. It is cute, in its way. But it's unsatisfying as a *crossword puzzle*, except for that sneaky little single-rebus-square trick. That was kinda neat. But DO LOOP and NOM DE and ECARD *and* ESIGN (!?) and the idiotic ONE-EARED (48D: Like van Gogh, in later life) ... all of that can get lost. Also TAUTOU (114A: Actress Audrey of "Amélie"). Come on. I know you've got a proprietary gigantic wordlist or whatever, but you're not Required to use everything on it. New isn't always good. Knowing the difference between "new" and "good," well, that's the heart of crossword artistry. Don't get enamored with crap just no one's used it before. That is not, necessarily, a virtue.

What's a DREW / SCOTT? What's "TV's Property Brothers?" ... ??? ... What's a LEFT KEY? Is that like "Back space" or "Delete"? Oh, wait, do you mean "left arrow"? LEFT KEY, pfft. Again, why cram your wordlist full of marginal baloney? I don't get it. GRADEAEGG ... sigh. Does this mean GRADEAAEGG is a better answer? I doubt anyone would agree. The clue is off on this one, too (21D: One of a dozen good things?). Grade A appear to be defined by how *not* good they are, i.e. they have a lower "interior quality" than Grade AA eggs, which are the real "good eggs." There's also a Grade B, but those aren't sold in supermarkets. They're used in egg powders and other products where appearance doesn't matter. So, if nothing else, this puzzle turned into a lesson on egg classification. Which leads me to my primary cluing question today: why would you clue SEXES as a verb related to chicks?! (126A: Sorts, as chicks) I mean, SEXER, yeah, you don't have any other options, but SEXES is a perfectly good noun. I just don't get people sometimes. Interesting trivia on that ARBY'S clue, though (23A: Restaurant chain founded by the Raffel brothers (hence the name)). So "R" for Raffel and "B" for "brothers" = R + B = Arby's. Neat. I won't remember it, but neat.

Probably the hardest part of the puzzle was the rebus RED square, largely because I know very well what's written backward in "The Shining," and I was none too happy to have DRUM in there? Also, weird to call a "word" a "plot device" (22A: Plot device in "The Shining" that has significance when spelled backward) Alright, enough of this. I hope Christmas brings you all a nice puzzle. See you later.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

P.S. [Descartes's conclusion] was SUM. There's a difference between "tricky" and "wrong."

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Lynn Lempel

Relative difficulty: Easy (4:08)

THEME: HIT PARADE— (58A: List of popular songs ... or a hint to the ends of the answers to the starred clues), all of which mean "hit," metaphorically.

Theme answers:

17A: Game-quickening timer in basketball: SHOT CLOCK
28A: Snowbirds' destination: SUN BELT
47A: Long vegetable with a yellow pod: WAX BEAN
11D: Marinara sauce thickener: TOMATO PASTE
24D: Dispenser of psychiatric advice to Charlie Brown: LUCY VAN PELT
plus a bonus related non-themer: 35A: Clobber in the ring: KAYO

Word of the Day: RUSSE (20A: Charlotte ___ (rich dessert)) —

A charlotte is a type of dessert or trifle that can be served hot or cold. It can also be known as an "ice-box cake". Bread, sponge cake or biscuits/cookies are used to line a mold, which is then filled with a fruit puree or custard. It can also be made using layers of breadcrumbs. Classically, stale bread dipped in butter was used as the lining, but sponge cake or ladyfingers may be used today. The filling may be covered with a thin layer of similarly flavoured gelatin. (Wikipedia)

• • •

Glad tidings, crosswordoblogosphere! Rex is taking a day off, and it is I, Laura, filling in for Christmas as Jewish friends have done from time immemorial. We've got ourselves a coherent little puzzle for a Monday, no holiday thematics at present. You have here your classic "bunch of phrases with words at the end that all mean something similar, metaphorically" -- which is standard Theme Type #Whatever in the panoply of theme types. Really, no aspersions cast; if you're learning to construct, this is a good one to practice and know, and Lynn is a pro at execution.

Like a Charlotte RUSSE, our container is filled with standard fare, including not too many difficult proper names -- we have a little Dick (12D: Vice president between Gore and Biden): CHENEY, MIRA (56D: Sorvino of "Mighty Aphrodite"), and (10D: "Jeopardy" host Trebek): ALEX, as well as grid staples ILIE (55D: 1970s tennis champ Nastase) and (51A: Mel honored in Cooperstown): OTT. I'm curious how many solvers might not know that LUCY of the Peanuts comic is a VAN PELT, now that the strip runs only in syndicated "flashbacks" and the TV specials air only intermittently, and then just as Gen-X nostalgia. Oh, right -- I always forget that (5D: Swede who developed a temperature scale): CELSIUS was an actual person.

What's on your HIT PARADE tonight? On mine ... it was Christmas Eve, babe, in the drunk tank. I can see a better time, when all our dreams come true.

Bullets:

21A: Lyndon Johnson and George W. Bush— TEXANS. Or another vice president, plus the president that 12D was Vice for.
27A: Columbus campus, briefly— OSU. Apparently, the official title of this institution is THE Ohio State University. If I omit the THE, will I be pelted with buckeyes? I grew up as a U of M fan, so pardon my (43D: Social gaffe): FAUX PAS.
33A: Tie, as figure skates— LACE UP. I just saw I, Tonya, the Tonya Harding biopic (tinged with satire), just in time for the 2018 Winter Olympics. Think figure skating is about athleticism, about who is the best at the sport? Nah. It's a pretty-girl contest.

That's likely it for my (25D: Notable achievement): FEAT of guest-posting for Rex in 2017. Best wishes for whatever you celebrate, if anything, as we wind down this year, with hope for peace and justice as we ring in the next one.

Signed, Laura Braunstein, Sorceress of CrossWorld

[Follow Laura on Twitter]

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Peter Gordon

Relative difficulty: Easy

THEME: a quip— here's the note appended to the puzzle; it's a long quotation that doubles as the theme clue:

So ... A.J. JACOBS, despite having appeared as an answer in a NYT crossword puzzle, is, according to his brother-in-law, STILL A FIVE-LETTER / WORD STARTING WITH / "LOS" AND ENDING IN "ER"

[it is a bit weird to have "1-Down" here be part of the quote, but "1-Across" be an actual clue...]

Word of the Day: PIUS I (36D: Second-century pope) —

Pope Saint Pius I (died c. 155) is said to have been the Bishop of Rome from c. 140 to his death c. 154,^[1] according to the Annuario Pontificio. His dates are listed as 142 or 146 to 157 or 161, respectively. [that is *some* opening paragraph ... quite a pope] (wikipedia)

• • •

PIUS I

Let me tell you, when you have a no-blurb-reading policy, 52-Across is a real adventure. I finished the puzzle in pretty normal Tuesday time (despite having no idea what was going on with any of the theme material), and I kept trying to parse LOSANDENDINGINER (taking out "ending," imagining there was something going on involving LOS ANgeles, etc.), to no avail. So I finally read the *long* blurb and ... ah. OK. It's a not-that-funny quip puzzle by someone I've never heard of (which, I guess, is fitting, since that's pretty much the joke). Seems mean to reabuse the guy, although ... I guess if you get this much crossword abuse, it eventually counts as glorification. Of a sort. I cannot say I liked this puzzle, but only because quip puzzles are almost never worth it, and usually involve gags that are at best cute. It's a fine grid, and managed to be Tuesday-easy despite a. being oversizd (16 wide), and b. having four essentially unclued themers in it. If you enjoyed the winky little self-referential thing, wonderful. Then the puzzle worked.

SCOUT CAR feels super made-up, but I'm sure it's not or it wouldn't be in here (62A: Military vehicle used for reconnaissance). ASANAS feels super made-up too, since ASANA is plural all on its own, but dictionaries are telling me that in *English* the plural is ASANAS, so there we are (48D: Yoga positions). PIUSI is almost certainly real, but definitely unfortunate (36D: Second-century pope), as are all random popes (i.e. the vast majority of popes—historically inconsequential but cruciverbally useful because their names can end in Is and Vs and Xs). It's to the NYT's credit that random popes have been down overall of late—or so it feels. NOONS is super-rough as a plural. MENACER is not a word anyone would use ... but since it's crossing CUR, why not cross-reference? Go all in. Commit to your word atrocity!

Today's constructor, Peter Gordon, is one of the two best crossword *editors* I know. Meticulous. Smart. Intolerant of garbage. Edits *in consultation* with the constructor, so the final product is one that everyone's happy with. Doesn't take 1 to 10 years to publish your work after it's been accepted. Ask anyone who's constructed for him. He's wonderful. I say this both because it's true and because a new season of his crossword—Fireball Crosswords—starts up on January 3. These are challenging weekly crosswords, mostly themed, made by the most talented constructors around. Along with American Values Crossword, this is the indie puzzle subscription you should definitely have. 45 puzzles for 27 bucks. Good stuff. Get it.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: David Kwong

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME:sawing LADIES / IN HALF (8A: With 63-Acorss, what some performers saw in Las Vegas? ... or a hint to this puzzle's theme)— get it? "Saw"? So ... famous "Ladies" are split in two, with half their names in circled squares on the far left of the grid and the other half on the far right:

The LADYs:

GA/GA (GAG ORDER / BODEGA)
GOD/IVA (GOD OF LOVE / SHIVA)
JANE/GREY (JANET / AGNES GREY)
CHATT/ERLEY (CHATTY / ADDERLEY)

Word of the Day:"DE DE Dinah"(10D: "___ Dinah" (1958 hit for Frankie Avalon)) —

• • •

Rough but ultimately successful outing here. Theme concept is solid and nicely executed. Themers are all ladies whose names have been *literally* halved, with each half flush to the side of the grid. Hurray consistency. Also, nice little play on the word "saw" in the revealer clue. Not sure why the ladies are sawn/seen in Vegas, but maybe Vegas magically denotes .. magic? Whatever, the theme concept works, and the execution is nice, except ... JANE GREY. She's not really cut at all. Her name already exists in two parts, so putting the one part on one side and the other part on the other side doesn't really created the same "what the!?" effect that sawing a lady in half would—that CHATT / ERLEY does, for instance. JANE and GREY already got space between them. No cut. No saw. One part just wandered off. I'd've maybe tried a different lady, like BIRD or DYNAMITE or something (I'd've said MACBETH, but you can't saw her name in *half*).

The puzzle wasn't too hard, but the few hard bits really cut my legs out from under me. The worst part was "DE DE Dinah." What the hell?! That is one of the worst partials I've ever seen. A 60-year-old #7 (!?) hit, the spelling of which can hardly be determined with one's ears ... and a partial. I had -EDE and wondered why anyone would want to CEDE Dinah, let alone sing about it. That this answer was next to the adjectivally odd INERTIAL (!) made that section doubly rough. The other answer I really struggled with was in the opposite corner of the grid: SHYOF. I had the "Y" and "O" and of course was looking for one word. And yet somehow, despite the fact that my struggles took place all over the revealer, the theme was still easy enough to pick up that my time ended up normal for a Wednesday. The very narrow openings connecting NE to E and SW to W also slowed things down. Without INERTIAL, no getting down from there, and with only SEND at 37D: Message from a short person? ("SEND CASH"), well, no getting down from there, either, for a bit. Oh, and I also made this error:

[4D: Ending with hard or soft]

Yes. Yes I did.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Tupper of Tupperware fame / FRI 12-8-17 / Orange soda loving character of 1990s Nickelodeon / Queen hit with lyric so don't become some background noise / Alexander pioneer early head of New York's subway system

Longtime first name in gossip / SAT 12-9-17 / Doctor of 1960s TV / Whence many paintings of Pueblo Indians / Gladly old style / Old-time worker

Chocolate-coated snack stick / SUN 12-10-17 / early 2000s outbreak for short / Irish form of Mary / Traditional Filipino dish marinated in vinegar soy sauce / Hermione's patronus in Harry Potter books / Standout hoopsters

Prehistoric Southwest culture / MON 12-11-17 / Service organization with wheel logo

Cartoonist Hoff of New Yorker / TUE 12-12-17 / James founder of auction house / Grant biographer Chernow

Crumbly cheese similar to feta / WED 12-13-17 / Iron compound found in steel / Unconventional soccer kick / Storied gift bearers

Grace's last name on Will Grace / THU 12-14-17 / 2800 mile river to Laptev Sea / Hero architect in Fountainhead / Potential dragon roll ingredient

Blithe Spirit role / FRI 12-15-17 / Jason of Harry Potter films / Corporate trademark inspired by Ivy League mascot / Laundry whitener oddly enough / Old-time actress Irene / Last of Mohicans daughter

William Shatner sci-fi novel / SAT 12-16-17 / Creatures captured in Herclues 10th labor / De manera elsewise

Egg-shaped Hasbro toys introduced in 1971 / SUN 12-17-17 / Nighttime Cartoon Network programming block / Protagonist in Infinite Jest

Computer programmer disparagingly / MON 12-18-17 / Nascar devotee / Light friendly punch

Archaeological handle / TUE 12-19-17 / Fate who cuts thread of life / 2000s teen drama set in Newport Beach

First name in women's tennis / WED 12-20-2017 / Greta Garbo or Ingrid Bergman / Japanese "yes"

One's Nintendo avatar / THU 12-21-17 / Last name in astronomy / Abbr at bottom of page of text / Prepare for entombment / Kemper who plays Kimmy / Candy Wonder Woman's best friend / First-tier supervisor in USMC

Merchant Samuel who lent name to historic island / FRI 12-22-17 / Abba who was born Aubrey / DC Comics supervillain group / Spongy toy going up in popularity / Something ported at portage

Meringue-based dessert name for ballerina / SAT 12-23-17 / Bygone can opener / Drug sought by Roy Cohn in Angels in America / Discuss thickness with doctor

Branded baby carriers / SUN 12-24-17 / Plot device in Shining / Restaurant chain founded by Raffel brothers / avoid a bogey barely./ 1990s tennis great Huber

Noun

Green precious stone / MON 12-25-17 / Charlotte rich dessert / Columbus campus / Cartoondom's Olive / Govt of the Rebs / Sorvino of "Mighty Aphrodite" / Hairlike projections on cells / "Slumdog Millionaire" setting / Vice president between Gore and Biden

Military vehicle used for reconnaissance / TUE 12-26-17 / Ja Rule hit that includes lyric wash away your tears / Chalupa alternative

1972 Oscar refuser / WED 12-27-17 / Dinah 1958 hit for Frankie Avalon / Kind of mass in physics / Saxophonist Cannonball / Fearsome Hindu deity / Shout from coach driver / Media muzzler