Rex Parker Does the NYT Crossword Puzzle

Constructor: David J. Kahn

Relative difficulty: Challenging (4 flat)

THEME: BEST MUSICAL (66A: Award won by the starts of 17-, 25-, 39- and 52-Across and 11- and 29-Down)— just what it says...

Theme answers:

ANNIE OAKLEY (17A: Markswoman dubbed "Little Sure Shot" [1977])
NINE BALL (25A: Variety of pool [1982])
HAMILTON, BERMUDA (39A: Capital city with only about 1,000 residents [2016])
RENT ROLL (52A: Landlord's register [1996])
ONCE AROUND (11D: 400 meters, for an Olympic track [2012])
COMPANY MAN (29D: Superloyal employee [1971])

Word of the Day: LAP ROBES (40D: Blankets for open-air travelers) —

n.
A blanket or furpieceforcoveringthelap,legs,andfeet, as of a passenger in an unheatedcar or carriage. (thefreedictionary.com)

• • •

Oof. Slow. Also, I care zero about musicals, but luckily that really had nothing to do with the solve. I got to the revealer at the end and then noticed the theme retrospectively. Since "Tonys" wasn't even mentioned in the clue for BEST MUSICAL, I didn't even consider MUSICAL at first, thinking more of Oscar categories. Honestly, I've never even heard of the musical "Once." But as I say, knowing musicals isn't really important. Maybe it would be if you were somehow stuck in an area that had a musical in it; maybe the theme would help you figure it out. But that wasn't the case for me. It wasn't the musicalness that tripped me up, but the strange answers (like LAP ROBES (???)) and strange clues like 36D: Caste member (ANT). [Colony member], sure, but "Caste"? Yeesh. Also, the bracketed years following the theme clues were really confusing. I kept thinking they'd help and they didn't. In the end, this is just a "first words" puzzle with a boring revealer. Impressive to get the themers to intersect like that, but only technically impressive. Solving pleasure only so-so. Also, I think this shoulda been a Wednesday, but that's neither here nor there, quality-wise.

There's way too much crosswordese here, with OLAN (oy) being the worst but by no means the only oldster in the grid. SMEW! How you been, SMEW? Sorry I thought you were SMEE at first; you guys look a lot alike. NAH is a terrible answer type—it's overcommon junk *and* it's one of that horrible genre of "ugh it could be multiple things don't make me guess why are you making me guess!?" That is, it coulda been NAW. Probably my favorite moment of the solve was writing in WIEST, correcting it to CAINE, and then writing in WIEST for real later on. I just watched that move a month or so ago, and it holds up well. Not as well as "Annie Hall" or "Manhattan" (his best, no matter what he says), but very well.

Got nervous there for a heartbeat when I had no idea what was going on with 25A: Variety of pool [1982]—I thought it was a swimming pool, and wanted NINE-LANE (!?), and dear lord, a 1996 Foo Fighters hit? Not shooting to the forefront of my mind (though it's kinda playing in my head right now ... I think ... if I'm thinking of the right one). This is all to say that that "B" in "BIG ME" / NINE BALL was dicey. But I survived.

[Yep, it is the (pleasant) song I thought it was]

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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Constructor: Alan Arbesfeld

Relative difficulty: Easy

THEME: a punny quip: WHEN A DENTIST / AND MANICURIST / ARGUE / THEY MUST FIGHT / TOOTH AND NAIL

Word of the Day: punny —

[google]

• • •

From the constructor who brought you A FAREWELL TO OMS (like, three &$^%ing days ago), comes ... this. This. I stopped after three answers in the NW (specifically, after ELIHU, the President of Crosswordese University) just to take a deep breath and recommit myself to getting through this thing. And then I hit this ...

... and sincerely wanted to shut it all down. Just walk away. It's like time-traveling 30 years into the past so you can do puzzles that were mediocre even then. You know, it's an editor's responsibility to say 'no' sometimes, even to veteran constructors. The only reason this *wasn't* actually physically painful to solve was that it was so easy. I did my groaning right away, as soon as I saw "punny quip," so I was mostly NUMB as the "quip" filled itself in. And since I had BONE at 57D: Poor dog's portion, in rhyme (NONE) at first, the quip came out "TOOTH AND BAIL," so not only was the puzzle itself rough on the whole, it also somehow managed to step on its own bad punchline. I mean, this is a total disaster.

If you think I'm the only one who thinks this, just ask around. Many of these puzzles lately are just bad, and certainly far below the standard that the NYT ought to be holding. Because of scale / brand name, most solvers assume the NYT remains the apex puzzle, but honestly it's not even close now. Even among dailies, WSJ gives the NYT a run for its money, and is preferred by some. And indie puzzles absolutely crush the NYT in terms of originality, currency, and craft, on a regular basis. Feel free to write me off as that crank who keeps yelling into his computer. But I still have a lot of residual love for the NYT puzzle, and what's happening now is frankly hard to watch. As for this particular puzzle—and I say this with absolutely no malice—it's not worth my time to review it in any detail.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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Constructor: Loren Muse Smith and Tracy Gray

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging

[16-wide / oversized grid]

THEME: BLACK ICE (44A: Winter driving hazard ... or a literal hint to four squares in this puzzle)— in order for several clues to make sense, four different "black" squares have to represent the word "ice"

Theme answers:

ADVICE COLUMN (21A: "Miss Manners," for one) / POLICE VAN (4D: Patrol wagon)
NO DICE (29A: "Ain't gonna happen!") / SERVICE DOG (14D: Helping hound)
OFFICE TEMP (41D: Crunch time helper, maybe) / "ICE AGE" (59A: Hit 2002 animated film)
ARMISTICE DAY (66A: 11/11) / MR. NICE GUY (50D: Generous, affable sort)

Word of the Day: IDEM (67D: Footnote word) —

adverb
adverb: idem
used in citations to indicate an author or work that has just been mentioned.

"Marianne Elliott, Partners in Revolution, 1982; idem, Wolfe Tone, 1989" (google)

• • •

Conceptually, this is probably the most solid thing we've seen in a while. It's an old idea, the black square rebus, and I'm kinda surprised this incarnation hasn't been tried before—it looks like BLACK ICE has actually never appeared in an NYT crossword *at all* before today. That is super weird. So there are four patches of BLACK ICE. That's really it here. Not exciting, but not the faceplants we've been seeing of late, either. Fill is rougher than it should be. Not sure why NW / SE corners weren't just turned into black squares. In the SE, you've just got plurals, so who cares. Make 'em singular. And in the NW, you get rid of the awk/awful YAWPS / YSHAPE and just give yourself ASPS / SHAPE–sooooooooooo many more cluing possibilities, and, you know, real words are better than jury-rigged goofiness. Plus changing WOLVES to SOLVES gives you a chance to do one of those winky self-referential clues, if that's your thing.

I started out very badly, largely because I thought it was Wednesday. Not kidding. When I got stuck in the NW, I couldn't understand how that was even possible on a Wednesday. Then when I got POL for 4D: Patrol wagon, I just stared at it resentfully for a bit. Eventually, I looked at the puzzle byline and saw the date. Then my brain shifted into the correct gear and things got better. Cluing was still old / out of my wheelhouse much of the time, so it wasn't exactly fun to solve. Most depressing / annoying moment was the cluing of JOAN (10D: "Mad Men" femme fatale). I love "Mad Men" and I love (Love) film noir and I had no idea what this clue was asking for. I guess colloquially "femme fatale" means something ... wrong, now? In my world, that "fatale" is *kind* of important. Joan was curvy and gorgeous and ambitious and smart ... but she's no more "fatale" than Peggy is. The idea that there's anything in JOAN that Leads Men To Their Doom ... is preposterous.

I had FLEECING for BLEEDING (13D: Extorting from), and I really really really like mine better. Also had BEER for LEER (34D: It might precede a pickup line), and, again, I prefer to live in my world of wrongness. Where I come from an OFFICE TEMP is just a TEMP, so that themer was tough for me to get. Last letter in was the "R" in LORE (65D: It's passed on) and METER (73A: One collecting money on the sidewalk?). Couldn't make the clues compute. That's all, I think. Overall quality here is what *should* be average NYT. But in the NYT's current state, esp. for themed puzzles, it's above average.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

P.S. Time and ... TEMP? (64D: Time's partner, informally). Not in my lifetime.

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Constructor: Patrick Berry

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: none

Word of the Day: GNEISS (51A: Banded metamorphic rock) —

Gneiss (pronunciation:/ˈnaɪs/) is a common distributed type of rock formed by high-grade regional metamorphic processes from pre-existing formations that were originally either igneous or sedimentary rocks. It is often foliated (composed of layers of sheet-like planar structures). The foliations are characterized by alternating darker and lighter colored bands, called "gneissic banding". (wikipedia)

• • •

I feel like some of the zip has gone out of Patrick Berry's puzzles of late. They are still elegantly made, but they feel staler and more plodding. I love YOU'RE FREE TO GO and I GOT THIS, BANG BANG and SOUNDBITE, but that middle stack, with an -ING over an -ING and ... whatever SHIP OF THE LINE is (?!?) ... is just dull. The corners don't add much to the party either. He's still the greatest living constructor, probably, but it's been a while since I went *Damn*!. Felt like I struggled a lot, especially in the area of SHIP OF THE LINE (again, ?!?) and MISDO (a word I hate So Hard, as no one uses it or says it ever ever ever)—really really wanted the latter to be MINCE, and even changed 32A: World's oldest currency still in use to FRANC STERLING just to make it happen (briefly). Yes, I am serious. And yet somehow I finished in 5:39, which is definitely on the fast side for me, for Friday. Not lightning, but snappy. Strange to have that disconnect between feeling (struggle) and actuality (speeding).

To me TRUMBO is the Orioles' DH, so I was really unsure filling in 7A: Title role for Bryan Cranston in a 2015 biopic. Last biopic I remember him in involved ... maybe LBJ? Or was that on stage? Ooh, looks like stage *then* TV movie. TRUMBO is the blacklisted screenwriter guy, right? Yes. Dalton TRUMBO. Anyway, I had TRU- and wrote in TRUMAN. 2/3 correct! Didn't know what the first vowel was in DELOVELY, but RESIN solved that. Couldn't understand 34A: Grate catches? even after I got it down to HEE-S. Even now I'm not sure. Do you "catch" your (high?) HEELS in "grates" ... on the sidewalk? My first answer here was ASHES, and this will also be true for tens of 1000s of solvers today. Grates catch ASHES. That's just what they do. ASHES was a crossword reflex. Anyway, I don't think I MISDO'd anything else.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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Constructor: Joe DiPietro

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: none

Word of the Day: Bovarism (26A: Bovarism => EGO) —

n. a conception of oneself as other than one is to the extent that one's general behavior is conditioned or dominated by the conception; especially: domination by such an idealized, glamorized, glorified, or otherwise unreal conception of oneself that it results in dramatic personal conflict (as in tragedy), in markedly unusual behavior (as in paranoia), or in great achievement (merriam-webster.com) [1900-05;< Frenchbovaryisme,afterEmmaBovary,acharacterinFlaubert'snovelMadameBovary] (dictionary.com)

• • •

Highly enjoyable Saturday. Right about where I like them: consistently tricky, but not painful, and loaded with juicy and highly varied answers. There was one scary moment where an obscure proper noun felt like it might be undoing—honestly, the worst thing that can happen in crosswords—but then the "K" from KAPPAS gave me BEER KEG(25D: Center of a blowout, maybe) and BUSONI (!?) was no longer the lethal threat he (he?) appeared to be (25A: "Doktor Faust" composer). Obscurity of BUSONI was more than offset by the giant gimme that was "An INNOCENT MAN" (27A: 1983 7x platinum Billy Joel album, with "An"). That is a Monday clue. That "7x platinum" part should tell you that. That album came out in the heart of my music-obsessed adolescence, and though I was not obsessed with *that* album, the ubiquity of its songs meant that even 34 years later, I remember it well. I think that was the album with "Uptown Girl" on it, where the video had his then-wife Christie Brinkley in it, and at the end these kids start popping (to a Billy Joel song!?), and it Totally blew my mind. I didn't care about the song or the bulk of the video, I just sat there waiting to see the kids.

LAP was the obvious starting place here (22A: It disappears after rising). That helped me start working on the ends of those Downs in the NW (-ES after the "L"; ON after the "P"), and then SENTRA / LIRA / LOOP / SHIMON went in pretty quickly thereafter, and I came back at the NW corner from the back ends of the long Acrosses. HAD IT and the Billy Joel album got me into the NE, where PREP for GRAD was my major screw-up (besides simply not knowing BUSONI). KAPPAS took me into the SE, where the "P" got me PET-something and the "S" got me the obvious STEWART (45D: Noah's predecessor). (STEWART crossing STEW, btw, not great). MARK O'MEARA and ANTI-VAXXER went straight in, based solely on their terminal letters. Ended in the SW, where PRANK for CRANK in CRANK CALLER held me up a bit ("prank call is the more preferred term, by a good margin"), and where I totally bit that "Herb" was some guy in 38D: Herb of PBS's "Ciao Italia" (OREGANO). The end.

One note re: FEMS (19A: Partners in many lesbian couples). Yes, some lesbian couples do have a gender role binary thing going on (though I'd say "some lesbian couples," not "many (?) lesbian couples"). My bigger concern with FEMS is ... well, here, I'll let google predictive text explain:

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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Constructor: Natan Last, Finn Vigeland and the J.A.S.A. Crossword Class

Relative difficulty: Easy

THEME:"Duality Quality"— theme answers are two-word phrases where only difference between the two words is the first letter, but the words are pronounced differently, vowel-sound-wise (verse clues do the same thing, which is pretty nifty):

Theme answers:

DAUGHTER LAUGHTER (22A: "I know my girl enjoys her youth / When this fine sound escapes her mouth")
BUDDING PUDDING (37A: "Right now, it's fine, no five-star food, / But this dessert will soon be good!")
KOSHER NOSHER (57A: "This mensch looks up and shouts 'Delish!' / While downing snacks with real relish")
GARDEN WARDEN (76A: "Your will to serve must be mature / To be this keeper of nature")
MASSAGE PASSAGE (92A: "Go down this hallway: There's a couch / If what you seek's relaxing touch")
BASELINE VASELINE (109A: "This may have been the umpire's doing; / Now sliding home is easy going")
MODEL YODEL (15D: "Kate Upton strikes an alpine pose / And belts this out, with naught to lose")
HATCH WATCH (69D: "I have this duty on my farm / To look as chickens keep eggs warm")

Word of the Day: MOOC (63A: Acronym for a class taught over the Internet) —

A massive open online course (MOOC/muːk/) is an online course aimed at unlimited participation and open access via the web. In addition to traditional course materials such as filmed lectures, readings, and problem sets, many MOOCs provide interactive user forums to support community interactions among students, professors, and teaching assistants (TAs). MOOCs are a recent and widely researched development in distance education which were first introduced in 2006 and emerged as a popular mode of learning in 2012. (wikipedia)

• • •

Er, well, hmm. I mean ... look, I love (like nephews) the two constructors involved in teaching this class, and there are moments (SWOLE! MOOC!) where I can feel their influence, and I like it. But this theme is not terribly exciting (despite the admittedly clever cluing). You can run this theme forever. TOUGH DOUGH. ROUGH COUGH. NEVER FEVER. CATCH MATCH. FORK WORK. HEADER READER. I dunno. The answers used here just weren't that exciting. I think the ones where the change is drastic and strange work best, like BASELINE VASELINE (that one's got a *double* vowel change). Strangely, I think the title might be the best example of the type. Maybe it's appropriate that it all feels somewhat remedial, since this is the product of (mostly) novices, after all. And it's certainly no worse than a lot of Sunday's I've been subjected to of late. But this is all a little too basic for my taste, despite the admittedly cute theme cluing conceit. I do have to give a lot of love to the clues, which, in their poetic non-rhyming, perfectly replicate the sound-change concept of involved in the theme answers themselves (and in consistent iambic tetrameter, no less!). But the actual answers, the actual grid, was a tad dull for me. Also, I really wish HATCH WATCH had had an Orrin clue.

This puzzle was shockingly easy. Seriously, I'M SHOCKED. I finished in 8 and half minutes (?), and that's despite getting flummoxed multiple times by proper nouns (and that "GoT" clue where the answer was IMPS). ANSEL and ALIX were total no-hopers for me, and XIAN (36D: Chinese city known for its terra-cotta warriors) ... rings faint bells, but not unfaint ones, so I used all the crosses there. I know next to nothing about BELGIUM, so that answer had to fill itself in via crosses as well (8D: Home to King Philippe). Do people know "The Adventures of ALIX"??? (103D: "The Adventures of ___" (European comics series)). I teach Comics *and* I just read a global history of Comics, and still, no clue. [Geflite fish fish] is PIKE, which I also didn't know. Considered HAKE. Didn't know if EMERSON (60D: Boston college) was maybe an EMERSEN or something dumb like that, so I waited for TACOS to solve it (TACOS can solve it!). Had IPOS before LBOS (49A: Some Wall St. deals). Struggled mightily with URBAN (38D: ___ studies (college major))—you hear that, Finn! Mightily! College, shmollege.

Hey, the newest episode (003) of "On the Grid," my crossword podcast with co-host Lena Webb, is now up on iTunes, and here. We went to the Finger Lakes Crossword Competition and drank Riesling and generally had a lot of mostly crossword-related fun. Please check it out if you've got ~38 min. to spare. Thanks.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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Constructor: Zhouqin Burnikel

Relative difficulty: Medium (for a Monday)

THEME: LGBTQ (55D: Modern movement initialism ... or a hint to the starts of 18-, 24-, 40-, 52- and 61-Across)— themers start with words that sound like those letters:

Theme answers:

ELLE FANNING (18A: "Super 8" actress, 2011)
"GEE, YA THINK?" (24A: "Thanks, Captain Obvious!")
BEE BALM (40A: Flower that attracts pollinating insects)
TEA KETTLES (52A: Whistlers in the kitchen)
CUE THE MUSIC (61A: Order to get a soundtrack ready)

Word of the Day: ELLE FANNING —

Mary Elle Fanning (born April 9, 1998) is an American actress. She is the younger sister of actress Dakota Fanning. In 2011, Fanning starred in her breakout role as Alice Dainard in J. J. Abrams' sci-fi-drama, Super 8, for which she received a Spotlight Award at the Hollywood Film Festival, and was cited as one of the film's best aspects by The Telegraph. // Fanning has received multiple nominations, including for a Saturn Award, a Young Artist Award, a Broadcast Film Critics Association Award, a Teen Choice Award, a Scream Award, an MTV Movie Award. // She is mainly known for her starring roles in Phoebe in Wonderland, Somewhere, We Bought a Zoo, Ginger and Rosa, Maleficent, and The Neon Demon. (wikipedia)

• • •

Hey, this is a nice Monday. Simple concept, cool revealer, snappy fill. I know I say "puzzles should be modern" and "colloquialisms are cool" but man I nearly got ironically torn up those sentiments today because Every Single Place I stumbled / hesitated (and there were like half a dozen) involved colloquialisms or the names of young people I don't really know. Dakota Fanning, I know, but ELLE FANNING, not so much. And I guessed MALIK off the "M," on a prayer, based on a gut feeling of its being his name—I think he just goes by "Zayn" now so ... that was weird (36D: Pop singer Zayn formerly of One Direction). Also, those Giant open NE / SW corners were daunting! 9 / 9 / 7, on a Monday!? Pretty eye-popping. Luckily they were fairly easy, except ONION SOUP, which I found baffling, even after securing the ONION part ... I spaced on what "au gratin" meant, because I associate it exclusively with potatoes, so ... I couldn't see how ONIONs had any necessary connection to potatoes ... again, weird. But I powered through.

But I'm not kidding about the colloquialisms—they add spice, but they are often hard to get because the correlation between clue and answer often seems tenuous. Clue is just a parallel phrase with an allegedly similar sentiment, and as such doesn't point specifically / clearly to a right answer as readily as a lot of other clues do (esp. on a Monday). [Not hold back] is a fine clue for GO BIG, but I still needed almost every cross. I did, in fact, need every cross for "OH, FUN!" (8D: "That sounds good ... NOT!"), partially because of that early-'90s clue (?), partially because said clue is actually a very bad clue. "OH, FUN!" and "That sounds good" are both things you don't mean. Thus, they are parallel. The "... NOT!" bit just muddies the waters. There's no reason "OH, FUN!" has to be sarcastic. I get that it can be and often is ... but ... something about alleging sarcasm in a not-inherently-sarcastic phrase confused me for a bit. It's fine.

That's all.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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Constructor: Peter A. Collins

Relative difficulty: Easy

THEME: ___ a ___ (verb phrases where first and last parts rhyme):

Theme answers:

SNEAK A PEEK (17A: View furtively)
SEAL A DEAL (24A: Complete the negotiations)
GRAB A CAB (30A: Secure some urban transportation)
GOT A SHOT (44A: Was vaccinated)
BAKE A CAKE (51A: Prepare for someone's birthday, perhaps)
WROTE A NOTE (62A: Briefly put pen to paper, say)

Word of the Day: HARRIS Tweed (48D: ___ tweed) —

Harris Tweed is a cloth handwoven by islanders at their homes in the Outer Hebrides of Scotland, finished in the Outer Hebrides, and made from pure virgin wool dyed and spun in the Outer Hebrides. This definition, quality standards and protection of the Harris Tweed name are enshrined in the Harris Tweed Act 1993. (wikipedia)

• • •

Well worn. That is both the initial (wrong) answer I had for 57A: Blue-blooded (WELL BORN), as well as how the theme, and so much of the fill in this puzzle, felt. The theme is so remedial it doesn't warrant comment. Honestly, what is there to say about that? What I noticed immediate, and what persisted throughout the solve, was how out-of-a-box (an old box) so much of the cluing and fill felt. Why is John TESH in anyone's puzzle nowadays? He's not a *bad* answer, but his decades-oldness, cultural relevance-wise, set a tone. After a succession of answers that went OMAN (a real place, fine) to OCALA (OK, still real, but a bit more crosswordy ...) to MOREL (same), I hit ARETE and stopped.

I might've literally said 'no.' Again, ARETE is a real thing, but all of these answers are out of the very limited Cruciverbalist's Toolbox of 1993 (maybe earlier). We get OGLE *and* LEER AT, ESAU *and* ODIE. It's a crosswordese hall of fame / museum / graveyard (take your pick). Uninspired, on every level, this puzzle is. We get John TRAVOLTA at the BORDELLOS and then not a lot else.

I woke to find Australians grousing on Twitter about 18D: Qantas Airways symbol (KOALA).

They are reacting to the word "symbol," and the fact that that word suggests the *logo*, which is, of course, a kangaroo:

In fact, Qantas itself *says* that it's "symbol" is a kangaroo:

I had no problem with KOALA, both because I had the "K" and because I have no strong or set feelings regarding Qantas one way or the other (I've only ever flown Air New Zealand to the southern hemisphere—their "symbol" is a FERN, in case that ever comes up). Also, I have definitely seen KOALAs in Qantas ads—not lately, but earlier in my life, for sure, and often.

You can see KOALAs in print ads too.

But I would say that "mascot" is probably more accurate than "symbol.""Symbol" suggests something more iconic, in the sense of a single replicated image. Maybe the koala is used more in US advertising, and so actual Aussies are like "WTF!?" I don't know. Speaking of "WTF!?"...

Bullets:

28D: Start of the fourth qtr. (OCT.)— sports sports sports ... was all I could think of here, so this was oddly stumperish
59D: Plains tribe members (OTOS)— first of all, see comments re: crosswordese, above. Second, this is one of my least favorite "which is it?" crossword moments (see also, e.g., DODO v. DOLT v. DOPE). Today: OTOS or UTES. But this is mainly about my ignorance. Though the UTES interacted with and adopted aspects of Plains Indian culture, they are not officially classified as Plains Indians, and you never see them clued that way. When they're not clued as sports mascots (😒), UTES are typically clued via words like "west" and "western," or any of the states from the Four Corners region.
68A: Relatively cool red giant (S-STAR)— ugh, the [letter]-STAR answer is another common bit of crosswordese. "S" is the most common, but you might also see A B C E F G K M N O S. Actually, I suppose, you might see any letter, but those are the letters you *have* seen (possibly) in the past.
48D: ___ tweed (HARRIS)— I have no idea how I know this, but I know it. Didn't know exactly what it was til I looked it up, but my brain conjured it up quite nicely. Still, I can imagine HARRIS next to KNOTT (do people outside California know KNOTT?) possibly causing problems for some solvers.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

P.S. I forgot to add to yesterday's write up that the whole LGBTQ theme had been done before (though just as LGBT), almost four years earlier, by Brendan Emmett Quigley, for the American Values Club Crossword puzzle. So if you want your timely themes to be actually timely, consider subscribing to AVCX.

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Constructor: Ned White

Relative difficulty: Easy

THEME: A badminton rally— someone SERVES (presumably with a RACKET) and then the BIRDIE crosses the BADMINTON NET seven times (with each "hit" represented by an actual bird(ie) name) before landing out of bounds, resulting in a judge's call: "IT'S OUT!"

The BIRDIEs:

DUCK
CROW
LOON
KITE
DODO
DOVE

Word of the Day: Red ADAIR (56D: Legendary firefighter Red) —

Paul Neal "Red" Adair (June 18, 1915 – August 7, 2004) was an American oil well firefighter. He became notable as an innovator in the highly specialized and hazardous profession of extinguishing and capping oil well blowouts, both land-based and offshore. (wikipedia)

• • •

Do you serve in BADMINTON from out of bounds? I honestly don't know. I assume you do, because otherwise the entire concept here falls apart. It's already muddy to begin with, given that the six BIRDIEs are supposed to somehow represent the BIRDIE *and* the fact of its being struck by a RACKET (?). I admire the ambition here, but the execution is a bit of a mess. Also, the fill here is routinely junk, starting right away with RISD (😖😖😖) and continuing on with SNERT and OSS and PES and NISI and on and on. Those last two are real groaners. Constructor's just not trying hard enough here to polish the fill. Makes for a terrible solving experience. Luckily, it was also a lightning-fast solving experience (somewhere in the mid-3s—and that's with an oversized grid).

I don't know where ION BEAMS (33A: Output from futuristic weaponry) are used as weaponry, fictionally or otherwise. The phrase is barely familiar to me, and that answer was probably the toughest to fill in. I've never heard anyone say PAL UP (with), so even though that was my first guess (off the "P"), I didn't trust it. Had STORM for SEISM (ugh, that word), which was my costliest mistake of the day, by a long shot. I keep looking over this grid for interesting things to talk about, but the more I look, the more I'm struck by how much crosswordese there is Yet Again (LBO, ENERO, ERSE, ECONO, -OSE, ERG, IDI, ADAIR, VENI, ODED, NAS, ASNER, ONA, ORE, REN, DODO, plus the aforementioned stuff). It's pretty ruthless. The Rut continues.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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Constructor: Timothy Polin

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: Me me me!— three familiar phrases are clued via answers that intersect said phrases; these answers are adjectives that end with the "me" sounds, and are relevant to the familiar phrases that they cross only if you interpret them, phonetically, as imperatives (i.e. commands):

Theme answers:

HOMEY (8D: Comfortable inviting ... or, phonetically, a clue for 20-Across) => "Hoe me!" => VEGETABLE GARDEN
GLOOMY (27D: Somber ... or, phonetically, a clue for 29-Across) => "Glue me!" => MODEL AIRPLANE
ROOMY (50D: Commodious ... or, phonetically, a clue for 58-Across) => "Rue me!" => LOST OPPORTUNITY

Word of the Day: ACOLYTE (22D: Devotee) —

noun
noun: acolyte; plural noun: acolytes
a person assisting the celebrant in a religious service or procession.
an assistant or follower. (google)

• • •

I finished this very quickly but it took me well over a minute of total bemusement before I understood how the adjectives had anything to do "phonetically" with the theme answers. I kept saying them slowly, like an idiot, and I could feel that terminal -E sound, but could not find the [___ me!] pattern for what felt like ages. I was breaking the answer into [___ "E"] instead of [___ ME]. So I had a belated but genuine aha moment, which was also an audible groan moment, as that is some cornball punning. That said, if cornball punning is your thing, this is a pretty good puzzle. It's especially good in the non-theme parts, which is important, as you may know if you read me, like, ever. Puzzles are supposed to be well made stem to stern, not just in the theme, so that when the theme is, let's say, not exactly to your taste, there's still delight to be found. Today, there was delight all over, esp. in the columns of long Downs, as well as the longer Acrosses at the middle and bottom (interesting L/R / mirror symmetry for the grid today, instead of the more typical rotational symmetry).

SEAMY coulda worked. Also THOME (which future MLB HOFer Jim THOME pronounces "Tow me!," I'm pretty sure). But the ones in the puzzle all work fine. I'm especially fond of the saucy VEGETABLE GARDEN, demanding action, now! As for the rest of the puzzle, I didn't have much trouble, despite being unable to flow smoothly down into the middle and bottom of the grid. Had to reboot with PCP and again with CLOY and *again* with PAR / AGE in order to get going again. Had NIOBI for NAOMI (18A: Biblical wife of Elimelech), but no other missteps to speak of. From PAPRIKA to ACOLYTE and on and on, this grid brings the interesting answers, and very little dreck. Satisfactory! Huzzah! It's a NEW DAY (for one day, at least)!

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Bill Clinton and Victor Fleming

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: sort of

Theme answers:

DON'T STOP / THINKING / ABOUT TOMORROW (lyrics from Fleetwood Mac's "Don't Stop," the (unofficial?) theme song of the Clinton/Gore 1992 US Presidential campaign
"It's the ECONOMY, stupid!" (noted catchphrase of said campaign)

NOTE:

Word of the Day: ERROLL Garner (44D: Jazz pianist Garner) —

Erroll Louis Garner (June 15, 1923 – January 2, 1977; some sources say 1921) was an American jazz pianist and composer known for his swing playing and ballads. His best-known composition, the ballad "Misty", has become a jazz standard. Scott Yanow of Allmusic calls him "one of the most distinctive of all pianists" and a "brilliant virtuoso". He received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame at 6363 Hollywood Blvd. (wikipedia)

• • •

Look, I voted for him twice, but this is not a very good puzzle and if I said it was I would get dragged from here to Natick and back because it's manifestly not. It's a vanity-theme puzzle masquerading as a Friday themeless. You wanna make a puzzle, make a *puzzle*—not whatever this winky, self-congratulatory thing is. It's not a satisfying themed puzzle, and it's really not a satisfying themeless. Neither fish nor fowl. Slightly inedible. I guess I briefly enjoyed noticing the Fleetwood Mac lyrics that are so closely associated with this puzzle's co-author's 1992 presidential campaign. Beyond that, there's not much to enjoy here, and deep in your heart (blue, red, purple, whatever color your heart is) you know it. This is a publicity stunt, as all these celeb co-authored puzzles are (though some have been better than others). Meanwhile, the quality of the puzzle on a day-to-day basis is way down, and (in a possibly related fact) constructor pay *languishes* at a dismal $300 (somewhat but not much more if you're a veteran constructor). I thought fair pay was an important issue for Democrats. Here's something from a recent WSJ article:

Last week, the New York Times reported a gain of 348,000 new subscribers—including 40,000 crossword-only subscribers—in the latest quarter.

And that's just since the 2016 election. To give you a sense of how badly constructors are paid, that bump *alone* (in crossword-*only* subscribers) would pay constructors fees for *all* constructors, *annually*, *many* *times* *over*. It costs under $200K / year (!?!?!) to pay constructors right now. You don't wanna know what that represents as a slice of the NYT's overall crossword revenue, because that slice is nearly non-existent. At that level of inequity, I don't know why anyone even submits to the NYT any more, except for exposure or "prestige." So you see, Mr. President—it's the ECONOMY (I know better than to call you "stupid").

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Jeff Chen

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging

THEME: none

Word of the Day: SPILE (31D: Tree-tapping spigot) —

noun

1.
apegorplugofwood,especiallyoneusedasaspigot.
2.
aspoutforconductingsapfromthesugarmaple.
3.
aheavywoodenstakeorpile.
4.
Mining.forepole.

verb(usedwithobject), spiled,spiling.

5.
tostopup(ahole)withaspileorpeg.
6.
tofurnishwithaspigotorspout,asfordrawingoffaliquid.
7.
totapbymeansofaspile.

8.
tofurnish,strengthen,orsupportwithspilesorpiles. (dictionary.com)

• • •

Very tough. Lots of vaguely clued answers, many of them niche slang (NOOB) or proper nouns (RITZ BITS). Luckily, there were gimmes scattered all over the place, but even then, this was rough going. You'd think that when you get ZZTOP handed to you as a gimme, very early, you'd be in business. But strangely, neither "Z" did anything for me. I kept thinking of CHEEZ-ITS at 1A: Tiny Cheese sandwiches, of a sort, and ZYZZYVA at 14A: Nest-raiding insect. I honestly don't know what RITZ BITS are or that they come in ... flavors? ... so, yeah, rough. So strange to be handed ZZTOP and have the only letter that really opens anything up for you be ... the "P"—got POI / TARO right away, but then got nothing in the NW. Moved over and dropped SPOOL at 9A: A thread winds around it (as I was supposed to—that is as intentionally-designed a trap as you're ever going to see), but then corrected to RITE / ANTED and finally got moving for real in the NE. But then I could not move into the center easily at all. Even the CAND- at 10D: Christmas decoration wasn't telling me much. Me: "CANDLE ... something?"

Rebooted with EAVES / ASTERS. Then nothing. Then ISLES (only one letter wrong!) ISTO TACH OSHA and I was in business in the SE. Briefly. Died there too. Problems all over with moving from section to section, because I didn't know most of the long connective answers. BOOBO- was never ever gonna give me BOOBOISIE (5D: Ignorant middle class, per H. L. Mencken). Only word I could think of was BOOBOCRACY (or BOOBOCRATS?). Didn't fit. And ELDERWAND? Forget it. I mean, no, wait, don't forget it, because after ELDER-, I actually guessed WAND pretty easily, but still, niche niche niche answers, everywhere. But in the end the most dangerous answers were the vague ones. I had to bring the whole puzzle down around 36A: One likely to have a large collection of albums to find the STAMP in RARE STAMP DEALER. I laughed out loud as I wrote it in. "SPILE!? LOL, OK, whatever you say, puzzle." And worst of all was the LEAD in LEAD GLASS (58A: High-quality window composition). Had L--- GLASS, and every single cross was bad / iffy. DEE? (59D: River that forms part of the England/Wales border) TANG? (53D: Strong, sharp smell) RENI!?!?! (52D: Baroque artist Guido) That "E" in RENI was a guess. Could easily have been a Natick for me, as LOAD GLASS seemed like something and RONI seemed like *Much* more or a real name than RENI. But in the end LOAD just felt (and was!) wrong. Lasting image of this puzzle for me will be some guy named RENI out checking his SPILEs for sap.

Here's someone else who got screwed by SPILE (and LEAD)

Gimmes:

"I BELIEVE I CAN FLY" (39A: Grammy-winning R. Kelly hit of 1996)— thank god for this one. Having the "V" from EAVES gave me some help, but honestly there's only one "hit" of his that comes to mind and it's this song. Wait, was "Trapped in the Closet" a hit?

SELMA (34D: "The Simpsons" aunt)— still useful to have a vast knowledge of the "Simpsons" universe.
TRI (25A: Ironman race, briefly)— tiny word, but opened up RABIN and then TRICK / KNEE, bam bam.
LARA (49D: Boris Pasternak heroine)— just when the SW was looking like a dark empty disaster, along comes LARA...
IRENE (27D: Woman's name meaning "peace") — IRENE is the most common five-letter woman's name in crossword history, and this bit of etymological trivia really comes in handy, trust me.

THE INDIE 500 crossword tournament is happening SATURDAY, JUNE 3, 2017 (i.e. *in three weeks*), in Washington, D.C., and registration is open open open. This is one of two tournaments I try never to miss (the other is Lollapuzzoola, in NYC, in August). Indie is such a welcoming, fun place to be, and the puzzle constructor slate for the tournament this year looks amazing (talented *and* diverse!—check it out!). This a great tournament for veterans and rookies alike. Don't be afraid of your own nerddom. Register now. You'll be happy you did.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Will Nediger

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME:"Places, Everyone!"— circled-square answers are all two-part answers, where first part must be inferred by the answers place in the grid: for the Acrosses, LEFT, MIDDLE, and RIGHT; for the Down, TOP up top; MIDDLE in the middle; and BOTTOM down below.

Theme answers:

LEFT SCHOOL / MIDDLE AMERICA / RIGHT-HANDER
TOP STORIES / TOP SIRLOIN / TOP BANANAS
LEFT BEHIND / MIDDLE MANAGER / RIGHT-MINDED
MIDDLE CHILD / MIDDLE CLASS / MIDDLE RANGE
LEFT TACKLE / MIDDLE ENGLISH / RIGHT CLICKS
BOTTOM BRACKET / BOTTOM DWELLER / BOTTOM FEEDING

Word of the Day: SAUK (77D: Fox neighbor) —

The Sac or Sauk are a group of Native Americans of the Eastern Woodlands culture group. Their autonym is oθaakiiwaki, and their exonym is Ozaagii(-wag) in Ojibwe. The latter name was transliterated into French and English by colonists of those cultures. (wikipedia)

• • •

In retrospect, it's all reasonably logical, but while solving, none of the "places" made any sense to me. It all seemed very haphazard, and I just inferred the answers the best I could. Had trouble at first because I couldn't believe that the fact that the theme answers *crossed* each other meant nothing, but ... yeah, it means nothing. Nothing as far as the execution of the theme itself goes. Means a lot in terms of theme density, which is, on the one hand, impressive, and on the other, troublesome—as with all dense themes, it puts a lot of pressure on the fill. Don't believe me, just ask the ALAEPLANER, or, uh, just PUPATE the ETHELS, if you've got the nerve. Well do ya, punk? The theme works fine, but it wasn't any great delight. Also, the "Right" answers seemed particularly weak. Right-HANDER, Right-MINDED, Right-Clicks ... none of them very snappy. No ANGLES or WINGERS. Also, what is "Bottom BRACKET"? I've heard of teams being at the top or the bottom of the bracket, but the adjective (?) "bottom-BRACKET" ... wait, is it an adjectival phrase? [Where teams ... are found?] They're found bottom-BRACKET? That is awkward.

We need to talk about a few of the answers in this puzzle. First, ASHINE (3D: Glowing). I literally LOL'd and then looked around for someone, anyone, to confirm that that is the single dumbest / most ridiculous A-anything word. AREEL, AGAZE, ALOP ... all of them are ordinary, everyday words compared to ASHINE? I mean ... ASHINE makes AGLEAM look good. This ASHINE's third time *ever* being in the NYT crossword. Amazingly, it even appeared once during the Rex Parker era. I clearly and smartly suppressed this memory. So there's that. Then there's the serious, Natickulous trauma of SAUK, which *also* makes only its third ever appearance today (77D: Fox neighbor). I ... do not know this tribe. Which is fine, I don't know a lot of things. But to cross this obviously not-commonly-known tribe name with _-TESTS!?!?! (82A: Mushroom makers) That could be three different letters. That *has been* three different letters. This is why crosswordese suuuucks and why editing is an important skill. That is a godawful crossing. How did the constructor not know this, the editor not know this, the testers not comment on this. Just dire. SAUK> SNUK or SHUK, I'll grant you, but not by a lot,and by no means definitively. It's not like I look at SAUK and think "o yeah, it's *gotta* be that." This is in the same area where people are going to have KISS instead of BUSS (at least for a bit), so ... blargh city.

Important Crossword Event News:

Constructor: Peter Gordon

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME:INNER CHILD (58A: Part of a person's psyche ... or a hidden part of 18-, 23-, 39- or 48-Across)— types of children, or words that roughly mean "children," are in the "inner" part of all the theme answers:

Theme answers:

CAMINO REAL (contains "minor") (18A: Historic California route, with "El")
PRIVATE ENTRANCE (contains "teen") (23A: Desirable feature of a rented room)
CAPTAIN FANTASTIC (contains "infant") (39A: 2016 film for which Viggo Mortensen earned an Oscar nomination)
QWERTY KEYBOARDS (contains "tyke") (48A: Common computer peripherals)

Word of the Day:"CAPTAIN FANTASTIC"—

Captain Fantastic is a 2016 American comedy-drama film written and directed by Matt Ross and starring Viggo Mortensen. The story centers on a family that is forced by circumstances to reintegrate into society after living in isolation for a decade. (wikipedia)

• • •

This is decent, largely because the theme answers are long and interesting. I had no idea "CAPTAIN FANTASTIC" was a movie. I know the phrase only from the Elton John album "CAPTAIN FANTASTIC" and the Brown Dirt Cowboy" (that is how I remember the title ... looking it up now ... Yes! I was right! I remember this album because it has a gatefold sleeve with an elaborate nightmare Hieronymus Bosch-esque wraparound cover that grossed me out as a child). But, yeah, it was a movie, and now that I look the movie up, I vaguely remember ads for it. Could Not have told you what it was called. Luckily, that answer filled itself in easily from crosses. I'm not terribly enthusiastic about this theme type, and this revealer in particular. I say this as someone who has made (too) many of this theme type. I did a puzzle where I hid Norse gods in answers (e.g. HELLOKITTY, MOODINDIGO); I did a birthday puzzle for constructor Kevin Der once where I just hid his last name in a bunch of answers (e.g. STEROIDERA); a couple years back I did a BEER BELLY puzzle for Buzzfeed (w/ Lena Webb) where we put beer types in the middle of answers (e.g. TEALEAVES, VILLAGEROADSHOW). So it's common. Too common. I've promised myself I won't use that theme type again for a decade. I know I will break that promise, but I felt it had to be made.

But it's the obviousness of INNER CHILD as a revealer that gave me pause today. I was like "this has to have been done, many times." And sure enough, it has. Many times. A very cursory look turned up three different recent crosswords with INNER CHILD revealers. Here's one that has baby animals hidden in the answers (cute!). Here's one that just has "KID" hidden in the answers a bunch of times. And then here's one that's got the exact premise as today's puzzle (and even shares the answer QWERTY KEYBOARD). "Inner" or "Middle" or "Central" or "Inside" [anything] is going to suggest this kind of theme to a constructor. It's not bad. It just is. Can be nice, can be terrible. Almost forgot—I did *another* theme like this called INSIDE DOPE where I "hid" THC in a bunch of answers (e.g. FIFTH COLUMN). Clearly I have a problem. Anyway, today's puzzle is a good example of this type of theme, even though some version of this INNER CHILD concept has been done (a lot).

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Bruce Haight

Relative difficulty: Challenging (this took me over 6 minutes; I haven't been over 5 minutes on a Tuesday in probably a decade; my average is about 3:40)

THEME: Well I could see that a state + an extra letter had to be anagrammed for the answer, but damn if I could figure out why. No idea. Kept trying. No idea. Finally read a different crossword blog to discover There Is No Reason. Random states + random letters, anagrammed. That is it. Why "Washington"? No reason. Why add the "R"? No reason. What does WARNING SHOT have to do with Washington? Nothing. Behold the Best Puzzle In The World. This is your god now.

Theme answers:

WARNING SHOT (17A: WASHINGTON + R = Intimidation tactic)
"I'M SERIOUS" (24A: MISSOURI + E = "No fooling!")
NORMAL DAY (???) (33A: MARYLAND + O = Period in which nothing special)
BANK RATES (ugh, these answers...) (45A: NEBRASKA + T = Mortgage specifications)
AFRICAN LION (52A: CALIFORNIA + N = Majestic)

Word of the Day: CAPSID (5A: Outer protein shell of a virus) —

[seriously, that is what come up at the top of the page when you google [define capsid]]

A capsid is the protein shell of a virus. It consists of several oligomeric structural subunits made of protein called protomers. The observable 3-dimensional morphological subunits, which may or may not correspond to individual proteins, are called capsomeres. The capsid encloses the genetic material of the virus. (wikipedia)

• • •

I keep rewriting this first sentence because I just can't quite come up with the right words to capture how dumb this theme is. I mean, aren't solvers everywhere asking "why these states?" Aren't they asking "Why Those Letters?" Constructors at home, despite the fact that the editor has apparently lost his damn mind / has so few submissions he has to accept nonsense like this—Don't Do This. Your themes need to have some hook, some sense of purpose, something. This is a joke. Maybe it is a joke. Maybe it's some avant-garde performance-art stuff—a puzzle that looks like it means something but actually means nothing! A Thursday on a Tuesday! I have no idea. But I don't think anything so Andy Kaufman-esque is going on here. I think this puzzle is just bad. Really bad. Objectively bad. Anyone out there who has Ever had a puzzle rejected by the NYT is sitting out there this morning going, "... REALLY?!" Yes, really folks. Enjoy!

Analyze this garbage? I would prefer not to.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Paul Hunsberger

Relative difficulty: Challenging

THEME: word loop—two-word phrases where second word is also the first word of a two-word phrase that ends with the first word of the subsequent theme answer. (Yes, it was about as pleasant to solve as it was to read that description); only the broken phrases (that start in one themer and end in the next) are clued, and they're clued, well, essentially, like this:

Theme answers:

BACK / COURT (Area that an N.B.A. team has eight ... / ... seconds to clear)
CASE / CLOSED (Successful detective's ... / ... declaration)
CIRCUIT / BOARD (Critical computer ... / ... component)
GAME / OVER (Dreaded words in a video ... / ... arcade)
SEEING / DOUBLE (Knocked ... / ... for a loop, say)

Word of the Day: CFL (23D: Grid org. with a 110-yard field) —

The Canadian Football League (CFL; French: Ligue canadienne de football, LCF) is a professional sports league in Canada. The CFL is the highest level of competition in Canadian football. Its nine teams, which are located in nine separate cities, are divided into two divisions: the East Division, with four teams, and the West Division with five teams. As of 2016, the league features a 20-week regular season, which traditionally runs from late June to early November; each team plays 18 games with at least two bye weeks. Following the regular season, six teams compete in the league's three-week divisional playoffs, which culminate in the late-November Grey Cup championship, one of the country's largest annual sports and television event. (wikipedia)

• • •

God, things are just getting gruesome. Aside from fill that includes dumb non-words like ECO-TAX and MIXALOT w/o the "Sir" and a SLEW of crosswordese (from OSLO to OTERI to SSN to ESSENE and back again) this theme ... sigh. It's a simple word loop: AB, BC, CD, etc. ad infinitum (well, not infinitum, but theoretically so ...). The only "interesting" part is the cluing, where instead of cluing the answers in the grid, you clue the "between" answers ... which sounds OK, but in practice is a bleeping mess, because ... well, you can see the theme clues yourself —all ellipses and slashes and you're all "wait, where does this start and end again?" etc. Oh, and there are somehow multiple SADIES there, even though no one can name more than one SADIE (Hawkins doesn't count).

[SATCHMO]

This took me almost as long as yesterday's, because the gimmick was mostly lost on me. I just plowed ahead and got themers mostly from crosses (somewhat from inferences based on the cluing words). I did this weird / horrible thing in the middle where I had CIRCUIT and ended up writing in CLAIMS CIRCUIT (something in my brain went from "circuit court" to "(small?) claims court"). I don't really know what EHOW (ugh) is. I had ETSY. Hardest part was the whole area around the BOARD of BOARD GAME. Had SET and KIT before DRUMPAD. WATERY never ever occurred to me for 58A: Like light beers. Had IN INK before IN PEN (never be impressed by someone who brags about solving this way; it's nonsense). There is so little Joy in the NYT crosswords of late. Just tired / old / bad concepts, with olde fille, and all of it only semi-competently executed. Most frequently published constructors used to be legends. Now ... once in a while there's a legend, and there are a few loyalists who are good at their craft. But mediocre-to-bad constructors are seeing more and more of their work in print because Good submissions are Obviously down. I know you all can see this. I know I'm more vocally annoyed than your average solver, but It's A Problem. Oh my god I just noticed plural ECRUS OK I have to go.

P.S. in much nicer news, my wife was elected to the Binghamton City School Board yesterday. I am very proud of her. When total voter numbers are this small, all that door-knocking ... it matters. I'm now going to go throw trash out the window of my car in the neighborhoods where my wife *didn't* get the most votes (elections have consequences), so look out ... Sunrise Terrace (wherever that is)!

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Jacob Stulberg

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: WHY (did the CHICKEN cross the ROAD)? (37A: Question raised by four squares in this puzzle?)— four squares contain ROAD in the Down and CHICKEN in the Across:

Theme answers:

OFF-ROAD (1D: Where all-terrain vehicles go) / CHICKEN OF THE SEA (19A: StarKist competitor)
ACCESS ROAD (15D: Highway adjacent to a throughway) / CHICKEN WIRE (39A: Coop material)
ROAD RUNNER (36D: Noted Warner Bros. toon) / PLAY CHICKEN (35A: Risk mutual destruction, say)
ROAD MAP (63D: Plan for achieving a long-term goal) / NO SPRING CHICKEN (60A: Person getting up there in years)

Word of the Day: SEPTA (4D: BART : San Francisco :: ___ : Philadelphia) —

The Southeastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority (SEPTA) is a regional public transportation authority^[4] that operates various forms of public transit services—bus, subway and elevated rail, commuter rail, light rail and electric trolleybus—that serve 3.9 million people in five counties in and around Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States. SEPTA also manages construction projects that maintain, replace, and expand infrastructure and rolling stock. (wikipedia)

• • •

Enjoyable! It's always easy to exclaim that when you pick up the gimmick almost immediately, but I've hated many puzzles I've figured out early, so I don't think solver's euphoria is clouding my judgment too much. I think my favorite part of the puzzle is the lone, existential, ennui-ridden WHY? in the center of the grid. It is the question I ask most of puzzles, usually with a pained or confused look on my face. "WHY ... is that theme answer not like the others? WHY ... is this plural suffix (!?) in my grid? WHY ... are you doing this to me?" The theme squares were symmetrical, which on the one hand is neat (as in "tidy"), and on the other is totally unnecessary in a rebus puzzle. Part of the challenge is figuring out where those pesky things are. No reason finding one should allow you automatically to find the other. But honestly, in the middle of solving, my brain didn't even pick up the symmetry. It was too easy a puzzle. I don't usually stop and reflect unless I'm getting Pummeled, and the only *real* issue I had today was a totally self-inflicted, not-stopping-and-reflecting wound at 7D: "y = 2x," e.g. (LINE). Had the "I" and the "E" and saw the clue was mathy and wrote in SINE and the ****ing "I" was correct, so I tried to make myself believe that BASE could work for 5A: Assemble in a field, say (BALE), before finally seeing my problem, ugh.

Couldn't work the Acrosses at first in the NE, but then the puzzle threw a "Paradise Lost" clue at me, which is like throwing a hanging curve over the fat middle of the plate. URANIA! (11D: Muse invoked in "Paradise Lost") After that, except for SAT instead of LAY (29A: Was idle), no problems. Nearly came unglued at the end, in the SW, where I threw *two* wrong Acrosses down—for ---IN, I wrote SATIN (instead of SKEIN (59A: Fabric store purchase)), and for ---LE, I wrote STOLE (instead ofSIDLE (64A: Move furtively, in a way) (misread the verb tense, ugh). But URANIA was smiling ... down? ... on me once again, as *both* of those errors ended up giving me correct initial letters, which meant NASSAU was easy (48D: Island capital named for a European royal house), which meant my double-error was actually easily findable and correctable. Win some, lose some, cross the road, move on.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Matthew Sewell

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: none

Word of the Day: ALCÁZAR (1D: Moorish castle) —

An alcázar (pronunciation:/ˈælkəˌzɑːr/) is a type of Moorish castle or palace in Spain and Portugal built during Muslim rule, although some were founded by Christians and others were built on earlier Roman or Visigothic fortifications. Most of the alcázars were built between the 8th and 15th centuries. Many cities in Spain have an alcázar. The term is sometimes used as a synonym for "castillo" or castle; palaces or forts built by Christian rulers were also often called alcázars. (wikipedia)

• • •

Fridays are my best chance to catch an enjoyable puzzle in any given week, and this one worked just fine. About where an average Friday should be. Varied, semi-tough, and armed with at least a few original- / fresh-seeming answers (today, e.g., KISSCAM and CRUSHING IT). This will do. It's a kind of palate cleanser. Light, refreshing. It's not totally filling, but (along with yesterday's decent offering), but it goes a long way toward getting the taste of the Sun-Wed junk out of my mouth. The most notable feature of this puzzle, from my perspective, was the uneven difficulty—specifically, the whole thing seemed phenomenally easy *except* the NW, which definitely made me work. And since I always start in the NW, I struggled early, and so the whole thing felt somewhat harder than it probably actually was. I couldn't do anything with 1A: Walk all over (ABUSE), or any of its crosses until finally I alighted on ECHO (after wondering, possibly aloud, why ALEXA wouldn't fit) (5D: Voice-activated Amazon device). From there it was ON BASE, MAN BUN, and off to the races. Once ENGAGEMENT PARTY dropped, I went down into the SE and up the east coast, no problem. Had some problems getting into the SW, but SAMOSA / CINE / SLEW ended up sliding in fairly easily, which left me, finally, with just that damn, pesky NW corner. Here is a red-line map of my trouble spots.

[Had IN A SECOND at first—did you?]

So, yeah, the NW. If I've heard of ALCÁZARs before, I definitely forgot about them. Had the -GE at the end of 2D: Heavy rain and wanted only DELU(U?)GE. And then [Wrongly assumed] is just a brutal clue for USURPED. Not the meaning of "assumed" I was expecting. I ended up having to back into that area after getting the back ends of the long Acrosses. Not having any idea who Abby Sciuto is definitely hurt me at 8D: Org. for forensic specialist Abby Sciuto. I tend to think of NCIS as fictional (for obvious reasons) (see also JAG), and Abby Sciuto sounds like a name with wordplay involved. I keep saying it to myself expecting to find it's some kind of pun. Like "Abby Normal" or something. Anyway, NCIS is common enough in crosswords that I guessed it and then finally worked my way back to those first, vicious Downs. The end.

[Last Dance ... LAST CHANCE for love ...]

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Paolo Pasco and David Steinberg

Relative difficulty: Medium (tilting easy)

THEME: none

Word of the Day: Edward SOREL (26D: Political cartoonist Edward) —

Edward Sorel (born Edward Schwartz, 26 March 1929, The Bronx) is an illustrator, caricaturist, cartoonist, graphic designer and author whose work is known for its storytelling, its left-liberal social commentary, its criticism of reactionary right-wing politics and organized religion. Formerly a regular contributor to The Nation, New York Magazine and The Atlantic, his work is today seen more frequently in Vanity Fair. He has been hailed by The New York Times as "one of America's foremost political satirists".^[2]^[3]^[4] As a lifelong New Yorker, a large portion of his work interprets the life, culture and political events of New York City. There is also a large body of work which is nostalgic for the stars of 1930s and 1940s Hollywood when Sorel was a youth. Sorel is noted for his wavy pen-and-ink style, which he describes as "spontaneous direct drawing" (wikipedia)

• • •

AHI / CAD / CAPRA / NO FAIR— that is how I started this puzzle, or tried to. That's a .500 batting average, not bad, but not enough to get me real traction. For the second day in a row, I had to abandon my NW starting point and start elsewhere. And for the second day in a row things got much easier from there, and for the third (!) day in a row I like the puzzle. This one is a little on-the-nose for teenage boys, with your requisite "GOT" clue and your requisite chess and computer and science clues and your requisite social media clues and that little bit of juvenile leering in the COOP clue (48A: Place to pick up chicks). Very on-brand, for better and worse. Mostly better. I feel like the NYT has no idea how to find a happy medium with its cultural frame of reference,so mostly it shuffles around with a solidly mid-'60s vibe, but then every once in a while a young former employee / loyalist is called in to "Do Something!" and we get a much more aggressively presentist and youth-oriented puzzle. Now I'm gonna take option B every day of the week, but man there has to be a middle way.

["'Superman II' is taking off all over America..."]

I started with VJS because I am old (12A: Onetime MTV figures). That turned out to be.a prime piece of three-letter real estate, and along with that corner's other gimme (AZIZ), VJS really got me going, both back into the NW (which ended up being a piece of cake when I came at it from east (?)) and into the SE, where I had my proudest moment of the day—remembering (sort of) BAHIA (50A: Brazil's fourth-largest state by population). That is *not* a promising clue—reminiscent of the bad old days when crosswords relied more heavily on obscurish geographical trivia—but while the "fourth-largest state" doesn't suggest crossworthiness, that letter combination (short, vowel-loaded, vowel-ending, with that odd central "H"), ensures that it will show up in puzzles more than most other countries'"fourth-largest states." Didn't know RATBERT (now and forever, from ASOK to RATBERT, always unfunny "Dilbert" can &^$% off) (46D: Gullible rodent in a Scott Adams comic), so that complicated things in the SE, but both BECHDEL TEST and ALICE WALKER were gimmes (!)—that's a lot of gimme. Gimme gimme. I teach Bechdel's "Fun Home" every year, and the BECHDEL TEST was just name-checked on "Riverdale" (of all places), so if you haven't heard of Bechdel or her eponymous test, now you have, and here it is:

Now maybe the long Acrosses in the SE weren't gimmes for you, in which case ... that corner is Awfully proper-noun-reliant (always dangerous). I mean, look:

Seems like that could be a danger zone for some. My danger zone was the SW, where (ugh, another) "Game of Thrones" clue and a chess clue kept me blocked out of the corner:

The new (to-me) SULU clue also made it hard to get traction in there (51A: The Philippines' ___ Archipelago). So I just sank to the bottom and got POD (66A: Edamame discard) and guessed ODE, and then boom, DUST MOP. From there I guessed TRAPS (I actually already had USED), and then it came together, though DIRE took every single cross ((DI-EWOLF had me first thinking: "DIMEWOLF!?") (39A: Real-life ice age beast seen on "Game of Thrones"). All in all, this was zippy and entertaining. Pasco has done consistently great work, which is crazy, as he is still just a junior in high school, I think—he's roughly my daughter's age. My daughter, btw, just got destroyed yesterday (when doing one of Patrick Blindauer's "Piece of Cake" puzzles) by a Nick NOLT- / Janet R-NO crossing. I wanted to shout at her "Why can't you be more like Paulo!? You're not my daughter!" But I bought her "Hamilton" tickets instead (this anecdote has been based on true events and may not have transpired precisely as written).

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Randolph Ross

Relative difficulty: No, yes, whatever, who cares? Let's say "Easy"

THEME:"Misquoting Scripture"— "puns" (loosely defined) based on familiar phrases of biblical origin:

Theme answers:

AN AYE FOR AN AYE (22A: The Bible on political horse trading?)
THE FLASH IS WEAK (29A: The Bible on camera problems?)
ASSAULT OF THE EARTH (42A: The Bible on an alien invasion?)
GARDEN OF ETON (58A: The Bible on where Prince Harry learned horticulture?)
FALSE PROFITS (71A: The Bible on bad business practices?)
THE ROUTE OF ALL EVIL (82A: The Bible on directions to hell?)
IN THE BIG INNING (95A: The Bible on a climactic part of a baseball game?)
A MARK UPON CANE (107A: The Bible on ruined sugar crops?)
LET THERE BE LITE (16D: The Bible on diet food?)
FORBIDDEN FLUTE (48D: The Bible on a taboo musical instrument?)

Word of the Day: Kenneth VOGEL (66D: Political writer Kenneth) —

Kenneth Vogel is an American journalist. He is the chief investigative reporter at Politico. He is also the author of Big Money: 2.5 Billion Dollars, One Suspicious Vehicle, and a Pimp–on the Trail of the Ultra-Rich Hijacking American Politics. Vogel's writing often focuses on money in politics. As part of his work, he focuses on political fundraising with particular emphasis on the political activities of the Koch brothers. (wikipedia)

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Just when you think the NYT might be righting the ship ... Sunday! Talk about wronging the ship. This is precisely the tired, hackneyed weaksauce the NYT has taken to serving of late, in increasingly frequent and unpalatable helpings. A pun / homophone puzzle had better be brilliant if it's going to carry an entire Sunday. Merl Reagle could do Fantastic Sunday-sized pun puzzles. Ridiculous, baroque, dazzling, theme-dense creations that had been meticulously thought out and planned, for months, sometimes years, as he waited to find just the right combination of answers, just the write "punchline" (usu. that final themer, which would often have *two* theme elements in one answer—the man was a genius). Now, no one can make a wacky puzzle like Merl could, but this thing isn't even in the ballpark. Not the same city, state, or solar system.

THE FLASH IS WEAK—what is that!?!?! If you're gonna pun, *pun*. At least make the clue a taunt from Superman, say. Better yet, change the answer to THE FLUSH IS WEAK, and give it a toilet clue. Instantly better. I mean, nothing is going to save this terrible theme from its terrible self, but if you're going down in flames, the more outrageous the better. THE FLASH IS WEAK ... ugh, who is chortling at that? There puns are So Tepid. Also, FLUTE for FRUIT is ridiculous and has nothing in common with the other "puns" (where you're dealing either with straight homophones or with a vowel change). And "a salt of the earth"—is that the phrase??? Is it? Because I thought it was "THE salt of the earth," in which case The Pun In This Grid Makes No Sense. It's not "A Farewell to Oms"-bad, but it's bad. And then there's the fill, which is predictably nightmarish. I actually stopped solving at 3D: Setting for spring in Vivaldi's "The Four Seasons," partly because I literally choked while gasping at how bad that answer is, partly to take a screenshot in order to commemorate the moment. I titled this .jpeg "Vomit":

I was already annoyed that 1A was STK (ugh), and then after getting the "S" and "T" crosses, I tried the "K," and ... nothing. "Is there a ... KEYOTE? Where they grow peyote? What is Happening." Then I got KEYOFE, and after pronouncing it Key-OH-fay in my head a few times, I saw what the clue meant by "Setting." Dear lord. KEY OF E!? Do we have KEYOFA, KEYOFB, etc. to look forward to? Hot. Garbage. Lew HOAD? I don't believe any human was ever named that. SAFARIED as a past-tense verb is ridiculous-looking, and yet it is just about the only part of the grid that has any personality whatsoever, so good for it (46A: Went on an African hunting expedition). Why is the "hill of beans"LIMAS? I mean, as opposed to any other bean? Why "hill"? What is the pun? I *know* that "it doesn't amount to a hill of beans" is an idiomatic phrase, but Why. LIMAS? Could the answer just as easily be KIDNEYS? What is happening? ASE!? ADDA!? ITOFF!? -GENIC? PREV.!? Multiple TADAS? It's ruthless, this thing. A joy-sucking monster where the "best puzzle in the world"'s best puzzle should be.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

1996 Foo Fighters hit / TUE 5-2-17 / Capital city with only about 1000 residents / Geraint's wife in Arthurian legend / Noted colonial silversmith

Davis of Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries / WED 5-3-17 / James with posthumous Pulitzer / Russian newspaper founded in 1912 / Iowa birthplace of Ann Landers Abigail van Buren / Poor dog's portion in rhyme

Beersheba's region / THU 5-4-17 / Comics character who was perpetually 19 / What dowsing rod or sling shot has / Hit 2002 animated film

Neologism coined by Cole Porter / FRI 5-5-17 / 1962 Organization of American States expellee / Scoopers for taramasalata / River bisecting Orsk / White notes in Monopoly

Noah's predecessor / SAT 5-6-17 / Play movie about noted 1977 series of interviews / Doktor Faust composer / Japanese import that debuted in 1982 / One asking for Ahmed Adoudi / Herb of PBSs ciao italia / Urban lab transporter

Acronym for class taught over Internet / SUN 5-7-17 / Bulked up in modern lingo / Rose's love on old Broadway / Animal avatar of Thoth / Blue symbol of Delaware / Chinese city known for its terra-cotta warriors

Super 8 actress 2011 / MON 5-8-17 / Ancient land near Lydia / Pop singer Zayn formerly of One Direction

Noted Berry farm founder Walter / TUE 5-9-17 / Rocky glacial ridge / Garfield's foil in comics / Relatively cool red giant / Obsolescent desktop accessories

Prison guard slangily / WED 5-10-17 / Rapper with line of Fila sneakers / Output from futuristic weaponry / Facetious subject of many articles in Onion / 1960s underwater habitat / Defunct UK label

Raskolnikov's lover / THU 5-12-17 / Level of judo proiciency / Duchamp contemporary / Biblical wife of Elimelech / Ancient Roman Thermae

Jazz pianist Garner / FRI 5-12-17 / Order repeated before hike / Record producer Pettibone / Civic animal / First lady after Lou / Beloved army leader

Baroque artist Guido / SAT 5-13-17 / Tree-tapping spigot / Ignorant middle class per HL Mencken / Yantra sacred hindu diagram formed by nine interlocking triangles

Wings to zoologists / SUN 5-14-17 / Apple of Discord thrower / Onetime tool for talking online / Cult leader killed in Waco siege / Contraction lacking just v / Power machine in woodworking

Historic California route with El / MON 5-15-17 / Sigher's words / Common computer peripherals / Quetzalcoatl worshiper / Soft drink in green bottle

Outer protein shell of virus / TUE 5-16-17 / Chicago squad in old SNL skits / Victim of river diversion in Asia / Divergent actor James

Obsolete repro machine / WED 5-17-17 / Dory propeller / Hello Dolly singer informally / Ruling family of old Florence

Muse invoked in Paradise Lose / THU 5-18-17 / StarKist competitor / Subject of Chekhov's Cherry Orchard / Island capital named for European royal house

Political writer Kenneth / SUN 5-21-17 / Peer Gynt character / Two-time Wimbledon winner Lew / Japanese relative of husky / Setting for spring in Vivaldi's four seasons