Rex Parker Does the NYT Crossword Puzzle

Constructor: Elizabeth C. Gorski

Relative difficulty: Easy

THEME:"Good One!" — Clue to all theme answers is [See blurb]. Blurb reads: "When this puzzle is done, draw a line connecting the 21 circled letters from A to U in alphabetical order. The resulting shape will provide a clue to 6-, 8-, 14-, 53- and 70-Down." So it turns out the clue for all theme answers is ANGEL, which is the picture you get when you do all that connect-the-dotting.

ANGELs:

SHOW BACKER
MICHELANGELO SCULPTURE
AEROSMITH SONG
GOLFER CABRERA
TREE TOPPER

Word of the Day: Angel Cabrera (53D: [See blurb] => GOLFER CABRERA)—

Ángel Cabrera (pronounced: [ˈaŋxel kaˈβɾeɾa]; born 12 September 1969) is an Argentine professional golfer who plays on both the European Tour and PGA Tour. He is known affectionately as "El Pato" in Spanish or in English as "The Duck" for his waddling gait. He is a two-time major champion, having won the 2007 U.S. Open and the 2009 Masters, in each becoming the first Argentine to win either tournament. He also lost in a sudden death playoff at the 2013 Masters. (wikipedia)

• • •

Should've been harder than it was. Once I had most of SHOW BACKER filled in, I knew what the theme was. Done and done. Only theme problem I had was remembering what sport Angel CABRERA played (I had baseball, but no: golf). If I hadn't hit SHOW BACKER first, it might've taken me Much Longer to figure out the theme. But as it was—fastest recorded Sunday time since early September. I'm not the biggest fan of post-solve drawing—in this case, it was Highly anti-climactic—but I like the thought here. It's seasonal, and cleverly executed, and the fill doesn't suffer terribly under the burden of a reasonably demanding theme. So thumbs up.

I was surprised to see my time be so low, as I felt like there were a number of times I came to a dead stop or at least floundered a bit. I had some trouble getting into the NE, as I had the bottom but not the top of the theme answer, and then needed to look at all the clues up there before finally getting QUEEG (total lifesaver, as I never would've gotten QBS or GEES or FAR or (especially) RENVOI without that QUEEG kickstart). I love NOEL, NOEL crossing the heart of this grid. Bonus theme answer! "IF I FELL" is another fine-looking answer. Also love HUGUENOT, as it reminds me of my favorite Christmas film, "The Ref." The main family is the Chausseurs, and they repeatedly correct people's pronunciation of the name and then tell them "it's 18th-century French HUGUENOT." Here's the opening marriage counseling scene with Judy Davis and Kevin Spacey (warning: profanity).

Is it weird or bad or apt or what that "ANGEL" is embedded inside MICHELANGELO? Seems intended, so … apt?

A few other puzzles to point you to today—for your holiday enjoyment. The first is risqué, so if you are easily offended, please don't bother. However, if you enjoyed last week's Sunday puzzle, and can handle a little … playful bawdiness, I think you'll get a kick out of this one: "Box Set" (constructed by Anonymous, aka "A Cunning Linguist") (PDF / .PUZ).

The second puzzle is "Seasonal Staff" by Francis Heaney, this week's American Values Club Crossword puzzle. Get it here for a dollar (though you really should be a yearly subscriber by now). I swear you won't be disappointed. It is hard as all get out, but if you make it to the end, the reveal is spectacular (Note: I'd print it out and solve it on paper, if I were you).

Lastly, if you are a fan of Ms. Gorski (today's puzzle constructor) and you are jonesing for more high-quality, relatively easy puzzles to do, consider her weekly puzzle from Crossword Nation. Yearly subscriptions are cheap. They'd make nice last-minute Christmas gifts for pro and novice solvers alike. Information here.

The great thing about the independent puzzle sites I've been recommending is that a. the puzzles are of a very high quality (higher, often, than that of the NYT puzzles), and b. the constructors either own their own product or receive more equitable pay than any newspaper or mainstream puzzle publication currently offers. The NYT pays $200/Mon-Sat and $1000/Sunday, which is an embarrassingly, ridiculously low fee for the self-proclaimed "gold standard" puzzle to be paying its constructors, esp. since the NYT takes in better than $2 million / year *in online puzzle subscriptions alone*, to say nothing of how valuable the puzzle is to the NYT's dead-tree circulation—do you have any idea what would happen to dead-tree subscriptions if the crossword suddenly disappeared? If you think "not much," then after I stop laughing I'll tell you that that's what you're supposed to think. You're supposed to think "not much." You're supposed to think of the crossword as a cute little diversion, tucked away over there in the Arts section. You're supposed to see it as a quaint, ancillary thing. Nothing to do with news. Just a game. A lark. Don't ask questions about money—that's just … not done. Rude, really. Déclassé. But the NYT knows that the New York Times Crossword Puzzle is a cash cow. How big of one? I don't know. I'd love to know. Can someone answer this question accurately: How Much Is The Crossword Puzzle Worth, In Dollars and Cents, to the NYT? It's an important question to ask—I don't think you can begin to determine what "fair" pay is until you've answered it.

Because labor costs involved in producing crosswords are (at this point) very small, and because crosswords are a kind of ritual practice (i.e. they keep tens of thousands of people attached to their papers on a daily basis), the crossword is probably one of the few reliably profitable things about the paper. I stopped submitting puzzles to the NYT in large part because they don't pay constructors anything close to what their product is worth. Many good constructors I know don't submit to the NYT much if at all any more, for this reason as well as other, non-financial reasons (about which … some other time). I don't know why the absurd financial realities of crosswords aren't better known. The pay system is insanely out of whack. But it's What The Market Will Bear (a common defense from apologists) and Pay Has Actually Gone Up Under the Current Editor (another common defense from apologists). So… whaddya gonna do? The NYT crossword puzzles, while no longer the freshest or most cutting-edge, are still decent—occasionally brilliant—and maybe both overall puzzle quality and constructor compensation will improve in the future. In the meantime, independent puzzles are thriving. Their generally high quality and increasing popularity are eventually going to force the NYT to up its game (and—if there is any justice in the world, which of course there isn't—its pay).

I'm told the editor is going to be seeking a constructor pay raise soon. Very curious to see how that goes.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

P.S. Patrick Merrell has a free 15x15 puzzle for you — "Up, Up and (when I catch my breath) Away!" ("If you like it, consider it a Christmas or belated Hanukkah gift, even though the theme has nothing to do with either holiday. If you don’t like it, demand a refund!"). Get it here.

Constructor: Michael Blake and Andrea Carla Michaels

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: TAKE IT TO THE BANK (39A: "Believe you me!"… or what you can do with the start of 18-, 24-, 53- or 63-Across) — first words of theme answers are kinds of banks:

Theme answers:

SPERM WHALE
PIGGY BACKING
RIVER PHOENIX
FOG MACHINE

Word of the Day: GREGG Allman (13D: Allman brother who married Cher) —

Gregory LeNoir "Gregg" Allman (born December 8, 1947) is an American rock and blues singer-songwriter, keyboardist, guitarist and a founding member of The Allman Brothers Band. He was inducted with the band into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1995 and received a Lifetime Achievement Award from the Georgia Music Hall of Fame in 2006. His distinctive voice placed him in 70th place in the Rolling Stone list of the "100 Greatest Singers of All Time". (wikipedia)

• • •

It's a Monday puzzle. It is pretty average in that regard. First-words-have-X-in-common. Pretty standard fare. Valiant attempt at interestingness with the, let's say, revealer, but it doesn't really make sense. I "take" the RIVER to the "bank"? Like, the word? I take the word "RIVER" and put it next to the word "bank"? Yeah, that makes no sense. I see that the revealer is a "?" clue, which does give you some leeway, but … still. Doesn't work. Also, this pangram stuff is strictly amateur hour. I saw that "Q" at COQ/QUOI (!?) and I was like "Whoa! That is some serious Scrabble-f***ing. Why would you do that?" Then I finished, and sure enough—all 26 letters. Ugh. Surprised anyone still thinks this is a feat. Three extra foreign words just to get your precious "J" and "Q" (and "U", actually)?—patently not worth it. Of course who really cares on a Monday when it's easy? (This must be the rationale—people will tolerate sub-optimal fill 'cause they've seen it so many times and it didn't create added difficulty so why not?). But, again, for the millionth time, puzzles should be filled with quality, smoothness, and sparkle being the highest ideals. The pangram ideal is … not one. O'NINE? Come on. It's a Monday. The theme is not taxing. Fill the grid with real stuff. OOOH? Jeez louise. EIEI-no.

Hoping for somewhat more professional holiday fare,

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

P.S. where's BLOOD? Not good to have one of these types of puzzles and have such an obvious candidate missing. It's not like there are infinite candidates. BLOOD is more common than FOG where "banks" are concerned. BLOOD is a weird omission, in that it's the one "bank" you'd *expect* to see. One of the first that is going to come to mind when confronted with "___ bank." Also SNOW. Also, re: FOG, at least RIVER, PIGGY, and SPERM had their contexts changed in the theme answers. Something like "FOG OF WAR" might've worked here (i.e. not a literal "fog"), but FOG MACHINE doesn't offer sufficient recontextualization.

Constructor: David J. Kahn

Relative difficulty: Challenging (*for a Tuesday*)

THEME: NELSON MANDELA (36A: Late political leader who wrote "Long Walk to Freedom") — bunch of Mandela-related answers

PRESIDENT OF / SOUTH AFRICA (18A: With 60-Across, 1994-99 role for 36-Across)
ROBBEN / ISLAND (8A: With 68-Across, prison where 36-Across spent 18 years)
F.W. DE KLERK (29A: Predecessor of 36-Across and sharer with him of the 1993 Nobel Peace Prize)
APARTHEID (48A: Bygone policy in 60-Across)

Word of the Day: PONY CAR (24A: Class of automobile inspired by the Ford Mustang) —

Pony car is an American class of automobile launched and inspired by the Ford Mustang in 1964. The term describes an affordable, compact, highly styled car with a sporty or performance-oriented image. (wikipedia)

• • •

I don't know why the Times runs puzzles like this—dashed-off trivia-crammed puzzles about the recently deceased. This doesn't come off as tribute. Comes off as a rush job. Bunch of data crammed in a grid. Fake theme answers like TATA (46A: Father, in Xhosa, and a nickname for 36-Across) and ATTENDEE (3D: Barack or Michelle Obama, at the memorial service for 36-Across) only add to the haphazard, arbitrary, whatever-fits feel of the "theme." A well-crafted puzzle with a clever hook of some kind would've been worthy of the man. This just feels weirdly slapdash. Certainly NELSON MANDELA's life is worth commemorating. I just don't quite see this as rising to the level of "commemoration." Also, "role" is a very, very weird word to describe PRESIDENT OF / SOUTH AFRICA. Broadly defined, sure, I guess "role" works, but I was like, "Mandela was an actor???"

This puzzle was much harder than your typical Tuesday, but I think it's an asterisk puzzle—not made in accordance with normal Tuesday standards. Singular. An outlier. A obituarial one-off. PONY CAR!? Yeesh. That, crossing DYE, nearly derailed me. Never heard of a PONY CAR. I LOL'd at TWO-D (27D: Having no depth, briefly), which came up in a recent Rex Parker Facebook discussion as one of my reader's Most Hated Crossword "Words." I suggested we start saying it as one word, TWOD, pronounced just like it looks. We could use it as a pejorative for someone we don't like. "Don't be such a TWOD, Steve." It's good because it sounds profane but is merely nonsensical. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go REPACK for my trip to the Philippines, where I am planning to REMAP ILO ILO (actually, I just have a really early appointment and so need to get some sleep).

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Jacob Stulberg

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging

THEME: FIVE GOLDEN RINGS (41A: One set of gifts in "The 12 Days of Christmas"… as suggested by the circled squares?) — Five "rings" (indicated by circled squares) spell out words that can follow the word "Golden" in common phrases.

The Goldens:

RULE
MEAN
SLUMBERS
HORN
GATE

Word of the Day: OSSETIA (47A: Rebellious region of the Caucasus) —

Ossetia (/ɒˈsɛtiə/ Ossetic: Ир, Ирыстон Ir, Iryston; Russian: Осетия, Osetiya; Georgian: ოსეთი,Oset'i) is an ethnolinguistic region located on both sides of the Greater Caucasus Mountains, largely inhabited by the Ossetians. The Ossetian language is part of the Eastern Iranian branch of the Indo-European languages family. The Ossetian-speaking area south of the main Caucasus ridge is recognized by most countries as within the borders of Georgia, but under the control of the Russian-backed de facto government of the Republic of South Ossetia. The northern portion of the region consists of the republic of North Ossetia–Alania within the Russian Federation. (wikipedia)

• • •

Fortuitous discovery that FIVE GOLDEN RINGS is a perfect (i.e. grid-spanning) 15. It also works very well as a theme revealer. These aren't really rings, though. They're squares. I'm sure you could draw a circle that technically touched all the letters involved, but rings are rings and squares are squares and these are squares. Still, it's a cute idea, and it's probably close enough for horseshoes and hand grenades, ring-wise. I don't know what a Golden HORN is. Turns out it's the "inlet of the Bosporus dividing the city of Istanbul." Cool. Good to know. The fill on this one is average to below-average, but that's largely do to the theme, which sets up major restrictions all over the grid. I'm not sure that excuses the atrocious EAU DE, but it probably does excuse (or at least explain) the SSRS SYS SYRIAC business, or STET EELS, or DONEE ALEE I'LL DO ELL, etc. Actually, KABUKI (9D: Japanese dance-drama) is quite a nice answer. Always good to be able to shoehorn a winner into such a thematically dense grid.

This one played harder than normal for me. Couldn't remember Monsieur HULOT (more used to seeing TATI's name than his character's name in the grid). Had the squirrels eating SUET there for a bit. OSSETIA was slow coming, largely because I know the "rebellious region" as *South* OSSETIA and can't remember ever hearing OSSETIA on its own. Had SYRIAN instead of SYRIAC. You'd think that corner could've been worked out in SYRIAN's favor—would've been a major improvement. No one likes running into an [Ancient Mideast language]. Plural LAVAS is probably something a grid could also do without, though it's mildly interesting that there are, in fact, multiple kinds of lava, and that they have such curious (and, unsurprisingly, Hawaiian) names (29D: Aa and pahoehoe).

OK then. That's all.

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate (or simply appreciate the down time)

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Tim Croce

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: GENERAL DISARRAY (58A: Chaos … or a hint to the contents of 17-, 28-, 34- and 43-Across) — letters in word "GENERAL" are in "DISARRAY" (i.e. reordered) in the middle of four theme answers:

Theme answers:

NUCLEAR ENGINEER
GREEN ALGAE
POTENTIAL ENERGY
RIFLE RANGE

Word of the Day: RACEME (43D: Flower cluster on a single stem, as in the honey locust) —

A raceme (/reɪˈsim/ or /rəˈsim/) is a type of inflorescence that is unbranched and indeterminate and bears pedicellate flowers — flowers having short floral stalks called pedicels — along the axis. In botany, axis means a shoot, in this case one bearing the flowers. In araceme, the oldest flowers are borne towards the base and new flowers are produced as the shoot grows. A plant that flowers on a showy raceme may have this reflected in its scientific name, e.g. Cimicifuga racemosa. A compound raceme is called a panicle. (wikipedia)

• • •

Cute theme with solid answers. If only the word GENERAL had more interesting letters. The grid is very errrrrrrr-ish. Well, generrrrrrral-ish, esp. if you ignore the obvious Scrabble-f***king in the E and W. Actually, in corners that tiny, you can get away with Scrafu™—none of the results are that dodgy. IERI, on the other hand, redefines "dodgy." Luckily, it's an outlier(i). I finished with a typo that it took me forever to track down because, as I said earlier(i) in the week, I Misspell VARIG (33A: Bygone Brazilian airline). I had VAREG. Again. Perhaps it's because I quite literally have never seen this airline. Today I learn that it's because it's "bygone." Perhaps we can stop using it, then? Please? Anyway, I scanned all the Acrosses and found no typo and then scanned the Downs and noticed two LENs. That can't be, said I. No. It's Maya LIN / LEN Berman (whom I confused with KEN Berman, who is not KEN Berman at all, but rather Chris Berman, it turns out).

[Warning: Profanity]
I had DOPE instead of DRUG (2D: Sedate, say) but later had DOPE where DOPE belonged (42A: Skinny). Never ever "got"DRAT (53D: Alternative to hell?) (i.e. needed every cross—it's not a bad clue AFTER ALL). Don't get how "good for" works with SATE (54D: Be plenty good for). "Plenty good" as in "more than enough, quantity-wise"? Stretch. ECARDS, and all E-answers, were among the most hated crossword answers in my Facebook survey of Most Hated Crossword Answers (52A: Animated greetings). Just FYI. Also FYI: not sure it's the best kind of subliminal advertising to include STALER, TIRED *and* IN A RUT in your grid.

Got to get to bed. Hope your Christmas was lovely, however you spent it.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Ian Livengood and J.A.S.A. Crossword Class

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: none

Word of the Day: TINEA (16A: Dermatologist's case) —

Tinea (often called ringworm) is any of a variety of skin mycoses.
It is sometimes equated with dermatophytosis, and, while most conditions identified as "tinea" are members of the imperfect fungi that make up the dermatophytes, conditions such as tinea nigra and tinea versicolor are not caused by dermatophytes.
Tinea is often called "ringworm" because it is circular, and has a "ring-like" appearance. Tinea is a very common fungal infection of the skin. (wikipedia)

• • •

This grid is really very good. Long answers in the corner are eye-grabbing, fresh, and engaging, and the short stuff mostly stays the hell out of the way. Clues were suitably tough. Did *not* see "CALVIN AND HOBBES" coming until I (finally, after running the alphabet) got the "V" from BEAV (20A: '50s-'60s sitcom nickname). "Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat" is the name of a C&H collection. It's especially ironic that I needed so many (well, six) letters to pick this one up, as I just tweeted about Bill Watterson today. Actually, I was tweeting about the most recent collection of Ernie Bushmiller's "Nancy" comic strips ("Nancy Likes Christmas"—Dailies, 1946-48, Fantagraphics Books), and remarking how I had laughed more in five pages of the "Nancy" book than all post-Watterson comic strips combined. For me, as far as comic strips go, there's Schulz, Watterson, Bushmiller, and then Everyone Else. This puzzle has inspired me to order "Homicidal Jungle Cat" and maybe another volume in Fantagraphics'"Peanuts" series. Tonight. After I write this.

Never saw "DJANGO UNCHAINED" (36A: Oscar-nominated film featuring a dentist-turned-bounty hunter), despite its having all the hallmarks of a movie I would see. I don't even know the basic plot, really, so despite the title's familiarity, that one was even harder for me to come up with than CALVIN AND HOBBES. Let's just say the letters string -GOUNCHA- looks, well, wrong. I had SKULK and SNEAK before I had SLINK (23D: Move furtively), which added to my struggles getting out of that NW region. Had TILT for LIST in the NE (a particularly nasty little trap) (21A: Cant). But this one was tough only in the cluing. Besides OBOTE (58A: Leader of Uganda's independence movement), nothing comes across in retrospect as particularly obscure or recherché. DELOS, maybe? (44A: Island where Artemis was born) No, I got that off the "D."OSWEGO? Possibly. I live in NY and there's a SUNY-OSWEGO, so I got that one fairly easily (3D: Port on Lake Ontario). Got AUCKLAND easily as I have been there several times and with the "K" and "D" in place the clue is pretty transparent (40A: Home of Sky Tower, the tallest free-standing structure in the Southern Hemisphere). Also, I'm reading "The Luminaries" and it's set in NZ, although, now that I think of it, I'm not sure AUCKLAND has been mentioned yet at all. Book takes place primarily (if not exclusively—I'm only 10% done) on NZ's South Island (home to hobbits and, in her youth, my wife).

ASHKENAZI is really the only way I want to see "NAZI" in my puzzle. Very nice answer on every level (65A: Like Albert Einstein, ethnically).

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Frederick J. Healy

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: none

Word of the Day:"RINGO" (7D: #1 spoken-word hit of 1964) —

"Ringo" was a hit single for the Canadian-born actor, Lorne Greene, in 1964.

The song's actual sung lyrics are limited to the title word alone, performed by an unidentified male chorus. Throughout the rest of the performance, Greene talks about the legendary gunfighter. His words tell the story, in a first-person account, of a Western lawman and his relationship with a notorious gunfighter, Ringo, presumably based on the outlaw Johnny Ringo. It has been pointed out that the song does not fit the known historical facts of the life of Johnny Ringo. However, this did not damage the song's popularity, as it shot to the top of the US Billboard charts on December 5, 1964. It also peaked at #1 on the "Easy Listening" chart, where it remained at the top for six weeks. The single also peaked at number twenty-one on Hot Country Singles chart.^[2] In Canada, it hit #1 on the RPM top singles chart on December 7. The song was written by Don Robertson and Hal Blair.

The 'B' side of the disc contained a vocal version of the theme song of Greene's TV showBonanza, with lyrics that were never used on TV (See Bonanza article for more on that song). (wikipedia)

• • •

Mixed bag today. Some lovely stuff, like the long Downs in the NE and a few other stray longer answers, but then a lot of suboptimal GUNK. Old school crosswordese (SSA SSR SRTA UIES etc) and foreign fragments (PAGO MOLTO etc.) and DESE and DANL just run too thick throughout this thing. Cluing seemed off in a bunch of places too. Floppy disks are PASSÉ? "PASSÉ" is "no longer fashionable," and floppy disks have nothing to do with fashion. People don't use them any more because they have been superseded by better technology, and modern machines simply don't run them. When does a bully say "ANYONE ELSE?"? After he beats one person up and then turns to the crowd of onlookers? This feels like a cartoonish depiction of a 1940s bully. Also, seems like it could easily be said by a victim of bullying who just pummeled the hell out of one of his abusers. Maybe the phrase rang truer, bully-wise, in days OF OLD. A lot of this puzzle felt slightly OF OLD. Bert LAHR! William INGE! "RINGO"! "RINGO" was Not on my radar. I do like that "RINGO" crosses GUNSLINGER, since the word "GUNSLINGERs" appears in the song's first line.

JUMBO FRIES is not a thing, so that was terrible. LARGE FRIES, a thing. JUMBO SHRIMP, a thing. JUMBO FRIES, not. Also, a side is only "gut-busting" if the portion is large and you eat all of it. In the art of challenging cluing, there's an occasionally fine line between clever and nonsensical. Consider [It's not drawn due to gravity] for SMILEY FACE. I hated this at first. Then I got it—and by "it," I mean "the meaning of 'gravity' in this context." You draw a SMILEY FACE due to levity, not gravity. Gotcha. Hard, but in the end, fitting.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Joel Fagliano

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME:"Take a Break"— Grid is a pool table. "Pocket" squares (here indicated by cats), can be found in the appropriate places. Longer Across answers end in pool-related terms. Circles form the racked POOL BALLS (there are nine, so I guess we're playing nine ball…)

Theme answers:

VERBAL CUE (23A: Spoken instruction in animal training)
SIDEWALK CHALK (35A: Bit of hopscotch equipment)
WALT WHITMAN BRIDGE (51A: Philadelphia/New Jersey connector) (what a beautiful spanner … *spanner*!)
DRESS RACK (77A: It's often divided into sections 0, 2, 4, 6, etc.)
HEARTFELT (107A: Sincere)

Word of the Day: Iowa's AMANA Colonies (48A) —

The Amana Colonies are seven villages on 26,000 acres (11,000 ha) in east-central Iowa, United States:Amana (or Main Amana), East Amana, High Amana, Middle Amana, South Amana, West Amana, andHomestead. The villages were built and settled by German Pietists, who were persecuted in their homeland by the German state government and the Lutheran Church. Calling themselves the Community of True Inspiration (German: die Gemeinde der wahren Inspiration), they first settled in New York near Buffalo in what is now the Town of West Seneca. However, seeking more isolated surroundings, they moved to Iowa (near present-day Iowa City) in 1856. They lived a communal life until the mid-1930s.
For eighty years, the Amana Colonies maintained an almost completely self-sufficient local economy, importing very little from the industrializing American economy. The Amanians were able to achieve this independence and lifestyle by adhering to the specialized crafting and farming occupations that they had brought with them from Europe. Craftsmen passed their skills and techniques on from one generation to the next. They used hand, horse, wind, and water power, and made their own furniture, clothes, and other goods. The community voted to form a for-profit organization during the Great Depression, the Amana Society, which included the Amana Corporation.
Today, Amana is a tourist attraction known for its restaurants and craft shops. The colonies were listed as a National Historic Landmark in 1965. (wikipedia)

• • •

First, I loved this. Second, turns out it's been done before, with many of the same theme features. By Michael Shteyman, March 2006:

Nearly eight years ago now, so maybe it doesn't matter. Still, I'm surprised Joel didn't do a little research before embarking on this one. On the other hand, who cares? Will took it, and a sale's a sale. At any rate, judging this thing on its own merits, it's fantastic. When a theme is so nicely executed, and when fill is, in the main, rock solid, I don't really have the inclination to point out the handfuls of short bad stuff, 'cause that stuff is doing what it's supposed to do—staying small and largely unnoticed, and holding together something lovely.

Once you pick up the "pocket" thing, the puzzle becomes Remarkably easy. All the corners are essentially taken care of. Hardest part for me to get into, unsurprisingly, was the relatively sectioned-off POOL BALLS section there in the lower-middle. But even that wasn't that tough—once I changed [Big dos] from AFROS to GALAS and then from GALAS to BALLS. Last thing in the grid was HAS A GOAT (65D: Tries). What an odd expression—I always heard it as "has a go." American idioms are so weird.*

I don't particularly like U TUBE as fill, but the clue more than redeems it (7D: Lab item that sounds like a popular website). I balked at 17A: Model/actress Keibler because who? and because I figured someone so random probably had one of them there I-ending names (i.e. STACI), and SYSCO… I don't really know that company. Could've been SISCO for all I knew. But the more common STACY won the day. Wish I had more trouble spots to talk about, but, as I say, this thing was easy.

See you tomorrow.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

*I'm not serious, but that won't keep me from getting mail.

Constructor: David Steinberg

Relative difficulty: Challenging (*for a Monday*)

THEME: P-NT vowel progression

Theme answers:

PANT-SUITED (18A: In some common women's office attire)
PENT UP ANGER (24A: What may lead to an emotional explosion)
PINT MEASURE (36A: Half-quart container)
PONT-L'ÉVÊQUE (51A: Creamy French cheese)
PUNT RETURN (59A: Gridiron runback)

Word of the Day: PONT-L'ÉVÊQUE —

Pont-l'Évêque is a French cheese, originally manufactured in the area around the commune of Pont-l'Évêque, between Deauville and Lisieux in the Calvados département of Basse-Normandie. It is probably the oldest Norman cheese still in production.
Pont-l'Évêque is an uncooked, unpressed cow's-milk cheese, square in shape usually at around 10 cm square and around 3 cm high, weighing 400g. The central pâte is soft, creamy pale yellow in colour with a smooth, fine texture and has a pungent aroma. This is surrounded by a washed rind that is white with a gentle orange-brown coloration. The whole is soft when pressed but lacks elasticity. It is generally ranked alongside Brie, Camembert, and Roquefort as one of the most popular cheeses in France. (wikipedia)

• • •

This was messed up on a couple of fronts. First, it's simply not a Monday, difficulty-wise. Over my average Tuesday time, and I'm clearly not alone judging from times posted at the NYT site. Not a *hard* puzzle, in absolute terms, by any means, but way off the Monday average. PONT L'ÉVÊQUE I've never even heard of. Looking at pictures, I think I've eaten it, but yeesh. Not a Monday answer in this country. PONTIFICATE fits, and probably would've worked better on a Monday. But I wouldn't be complaining about this answer on a Tuesday. It's a fine answer—it's just one of the reasons this played tough for Monday. Another: a low word count (for a Monday, 74 words qualifies as low). All corners are pretty wide open, making footholds harder to find. Again, doable. This puzzle is simply (and obviously) misplaced on Monday. Bigger problem, for me, was PANT-SUITED, which is a horrific and unnecessary answer. It's an adjective that you would simply rarely, if ever, use. Other PANT- words exist. PANTHEISTS. PANTAGRUEL. I mean, I haven't really tried, but there have to be more and better answers than PANT-SUITED, which is only here because that answer needs to be as long as PUNT RETURN, and PANT SUITS is one letter short. There really aren't better PUNT- answers, I don't think. PUNT BLOCK is OK, but far less common. So thumbs-down to that themer, and thumbs-down also to PINT MEASURE, which appears to be … a pint? I guess we're talking about the container, so OK, I'm sure it's a thing, but of all the PINT- answers … yuck. There's also something so desperately awkward about the clue. [Half-quart container] … oh, you mean a pint container? 'Cause that's what we call "Half-quarts."

No one says SOAPER (42D: Daytime drama, informally). Please change "informally" to "in erstwhile times," and then Kill this answer, please. RUBATO (48D: Fluctuation of musical tempo), very tough for Monday. Fine word, not really in my vocabulary. Again, more late-week than it is Monday. WEB APP, again, not Monday (1D: Google Calendar, e.g., informally). I had WIDGET at first. Don't mind the answer. Just baffled, again, by the placement. NANANA is manifestly terrible, but I can let an answer or two like that slide. Really like OUT THERE, but that was also hard to see. Anyway, this was a hit/miss Tuesday puzzle.

See you tomorrow.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Tracy Gray

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: LARGE and its anagrams

Theme answers:

LIVING LARGE
HORATIO ALGER
ROCKET'S RED GLARE
PREMIUM LAGER
CHIVAS REGAL

Word of the Day: BHT (11A: Food preservative, for short) —

Butylated hydroxytoluene (BHT), also known as butylhydroxytoluene, is a lipophilic organic compound, chemically a derivative of phenol, that is useful for its antioxidant properties. European and U.S. regulations allow small percentages to be used as a food additive. While there may be some dispute in BHT's use in the human diet, the chemical is widely used in industry wherever oxidation in fluids (e.g. fuel, oil) and other materials must be treated, and free radicals must be kept in check. (wikipedia)

• • •

The puzzle has its merits—mainly some lively fill and decent theme answers. But there are a couple of inexplicable problems here, both intrinsic and extrinsic. Let's start with the small, easy-to-fill corners in the NE and SW. There's just no excuse to go with a French word like PLAGE there, esp. as Nothing Good Is Being Held in Place there. You go w/ PLAGE and you *still* make us suffer through GLO and ESS? I don't get that. But worse, much much worse, is BHT. I've never heard of it, but I've never heard of many things, so that's not the main problem. The main problem is that a. it is comparatively obscure (NYT hasn't used it in Over Ten Years, and then it was on a Thursday, and, presumably, *necessary* to make some important thematic thing happen); and b. it is an initialism where there absolutely, positively doesn't need to be one. I'm dumbfounded that the constructor, the editor, someone wouldn't take ten seconds to rid the puzzle of BHT. It's not holding Anything in place. You can tear that corner out and refill it a jillion different ways. BHT? I can't even … I don't know. Your ear has to be so tin to think that's a good idea. Mind-blowing.

And then on to the extrinsic problem: this theme has been done before. And recently. And by god the first thing any seasoned constructor does (in this day and age) when pursuing a themed puzzle is check to databases. Has it been done? If so, are you going to do it differently? In this case, yes, it has been done, and no, you're not really going to do it differently. I just plugged *lager* into the cruciverb.com database and found the following grid, but if you'd simply searched ROCKET'S RED GLARE or CHIVAS REGAL, you'd have ended up in the same place:

[Randall Hartman, CrossSynergy, May 2010]

Due diligence. It's important in the electronic age (in any age, I guess, but especially now—you simply can't construct puzzles as if this database information does not exist; not anymore).

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Peter A. Collins

Relative difficulty: Challenging

THEME: HAPPY 2014 (37A: New Year's greeting) — individual numerals in "2014" work as words (homophones) in the crosses.

Theme answers:

27D: 1971 #1 hit for Carole King ("IT'S TOO LATE")
39D: Classic Stephen Foster song ("O SUSANNA")
24D: Achieved through difficulty (HARD WON)
32D: "Try!" ("GO FOR IT!")

Word of the Day: BUR OAK (17A: Tree with extra-large acorns) —

n.
An oak tree (Quercus macrocarpa) of eastern North America, having pinnately lobed leaves, acorns enclosed within a deep fringed cup, and hard durable wood. (thefreedictionary.com)

• • •

An odd puzzle, but it's a holiday puzzle, so some oddness is allowed. Very tough for a Wednesday—much more like a Thursday, theme-wise, except for there not being much of a theme, density-wise. Just five answers, affecting just 31 squares in all. Much of this puzzle may as well be considered a themeless, which makes me wonder why those corners aren't a. cleaner, and/or b. flashier. The EGBERT (1D: First King of the English) / BUR OAK (17A: Tree with extra-large acorns) / SHARPE (5D: Economics Nobelist William F. ___) corner is especially strange. Buncha weird names from fairly narrow areas of knowledge. I like TAKE A NIP. Rest of that corner, however, was toughish without sparkle.

The theme is pretty cute. "HAPPY 2014" is *not* a "greeting"—"Happy New Year" is a greeting. "HAPPY 2014" is something one might say … I don't know. I want to say "at a New Year's Eve party," but I think you're supposed to shout "Happy New Year!" Anyway, "HAPPY 2014" is a phrase I can imagine one saying, even if I can't imagine the specific context. And the homophone crosses are a nice idea. I wanted "IT'S TOO LATE" pretty early, but it didn't "fit" and I had written WATUSIS instead of WATUTSI (53A: People of Rwanda and Burundi) —I knew the TUTSI were a people, but the WATUTSI, I did not know. I think the WATUSI is a dance. In my defense, if you google "WATUTSI," google asks you if you meant "watusi."[Turns out Tutsi and WATUTSI (and also Batutsi) are all the same thing] Anyway, that flub kept me from picking up on the theme earlier than I might've. I struggled most in the NW (all because of BUR OAK, a plant form of which I was unaware), but it was pretty tough all over.

Anyway, I hope you are having a HAPPY 2014. I know I am. Actually, it's still 2013 as I write this, but I'm gonna go ahead and say my tomorrow's going to be great.

See you later in the year.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Todd Gross

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging

THEME: -ENDING — five answers are literal representations of phrases in which the first word follows the pattern _ENDING; first letter of each phrase is turned into the "ending" of the answers, so that, for example, VENDING MACHINE becomes MACHINEV, i.e. V ENDING MACHINE. The first letter literally "ends" the answer.

Theme answers:

MACHINES V (17A: Food or drink dispensers)
FOR ONESELF F (10D: Going without help)
LITIGATION P (24D: Future court case)
THE RULES B (51A: Taking liberties)
WALL M (32A: Robert Frost poem that includes "Good fences make good neighbors")

Word of the Day: The Don (41D: Don's place => RUSSIA) —

The Don (Russian: Дон, IPA: [don]) is one of the major rivers of Russia. It rises in the town ofNovomoskovsk 60 kilometres southeast from Tula, southeast of Moscow, and flows for a distance of about 1,950 kilometres (1,220 mi) to the Sea of Azov.
From its source, the river first flows southeast to Voronezh, then southwest to its mouth. The main city on the river is Rostov on Don. Its main tributary is the Seversky Donets. (wikipedia)

• • •

This is a theme that is clever conceptually, but only conceptually. That is, in practice, on the paper, from a solving standpoint, it's a bit of a drag. Comes across as precious. The "_ ENDING X" just isn't tight enough for this to pop. Is the "V" really "ending" MACHINES? It's sitting there after it, but it's not really "ending" it. I don't think I'm splitting hairs. If you have nonsense in the grid, which you do, then the concept that's undergirding that nonsense has to be rock solid, and this just feels … something short of that. A bit strained. F actually *does* end FOR ONESELF, so the extra "F" feels redundant. I mean, I see what's going on. It just doesn't quite come together for me. Also, this is in that genre (which some people admire) of stunt puzzle, where an ambitious theme is built up without much regard for the non-thematic fill, which is allowed to buckle and groan under the theme's weight. I'm happy to give allowance when the theme is truly worthy, but this one didn't quite hit for me, so stuff like ETAPE (56A: Tour de France stage) and ARACE and MOIRES and AMATIVE (!?) and ODA AND I and the hot DERR-on-DOERR action etc. rankled more than it might have.

Took me a longish time to figure out what was up. Me, upon seeing MACHINESV: "MACHINES … FIVE?""Vending" never occurred to me. FORONESELFF also left me shrugging. Wasn't til THERULESB that I got it. Or, I guess, "got" it, since my first thought was that the "B" was for "breaking," and that that word had been "broken"… somehow. After a bit, I recalibrated, hit on "bending," and then it all made sense. A kind of sense. Toughest part for me was the center, as I could not recall the Frost poem and knew -LLM had to be wrong. Took me a while to accept that that little answer could be a themer. Also, I needed many crosses to get MOIRES (30A: Shimmery silks). Also, I don't think of "marinating" as a "softening" technique. I'm sure it's correct, on a literal level; it's just not a word I'd ever associated with the process. So this one was tough, but well within normal Thursday toughness parameters.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Barry C. Silk and Brad Wilber

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging

THEME: none

Word of the Day: A. A. FAIR (43D: Erle Stanley Gardner pseudonym) —

Cool and Lam is the fictional American private detective firm that is the center of a series of detective novels written by Erle Stanley Gardner using the pen name of A. A. Fair. // In the first book about her, The Bigger They Come (1939; British: Lam to the Slaughter), Bertha Cool is said to have opened her own detective agency in 1936 after her husband Henry died. She's described in various terms as overweight, and uncaring about her weight—in the first novel, Donald Lam estimates her weight at 220 pounds. At the beginning of Spill the Jackpot! (1941) we learn that she had flu and pneumonia, and lost a great deal of weight, down to 160 pounds, and in many later novels her weight is given as 165 pounds. She has white hair and "greedy piggish eyes". All the novels agree that she's extremely avaricious and miserly. On the other hand she has persistence, loyalty and nerve. Her favourite expletive is "Fry me for an oyster!". In the opening chapter of the first novel, she hires a small, nervy, and extremely ingenious former lawyer named Donald Lam. Donald later becomes a full partner in her business, forming the firm of Cool & Lam, which features in more than two dozen books by Gardner. (wikipedia)

• • •

Nice work. An interesting combination of easy and tough. The big fly in the ointment was FOREVER STAMP (6D: Certain rate-hike circumvention). I couldn't see it. Just couldn't. Couldn't even really get my head around the clue. Even when I had FORE-ERST--P I was lost. All the E / R / S action just wasn't clarifying anything for me. Worse, the adjacent answer, WYCHELM, was something I'd never heard of. I mean Never. I've heard of WYE OAK (they're a band I like). But WYCHELM, yikes, no. And I couldn't remember where Harpers Ferry was (24A: Home of Harpers Ferry: Abbr.). Just … blanked. My brain was like "Alaska?" but I was like "shut up, stupid brain, that's Harper's Folly." Later on, a different part of my brain realized Alaska was actually "Seward's Folly," but that's a story for another time. Anyway, no hope at WYCHELM, blanked on WVA. Then there's NICOLAI (40A: Gedda or Ghiaurov of opera fame). Now, Brad Wilber and I are friends and we have a lot in common, but on opera we could not be further apart. He knows all and I know squat. "Of opera fame" is essentially a paradoxical phrase to me. So NICOLAI I had to infer from NICO-. Then there was the YUM-for-MMM fiasco (46A: "Tastes terrific!"). MMM was weirdly the tipping point because it gave me (finally) FOREVER STAMP, and thankfully only "W" made sense at -VA, so … completion! With so much failure, I'm surprised I came in as fast as I did (somewhere in the 8s).

Puzzle began unpromisingly with very little going into the NW corner. Always painful when a puzzle cross-references two answers in the same quadrant. Here, PIDGIN/TONGUE were nowhere to be seen until I got most of their crosses (which came later). First thing in the grid was "EROICA"— such a fantastic clue (2D: Record glimpsed on Norman Bates's Victrola). I watched "Psycho" recently, and the record is indeed prominently displayed. Lila Crane sees it when she's snooping around the house toward the very end of the movie. Another answer in my wheelhouse was A.A. FAIR. I have a bijillion books by him in my vintage paperback book collection. I much prefer the Cool & Lam mysteries to the Perry Mason stuff, so A.A. FAIR is a very familiar name to me (though I wonder if people under, I don't know, 50, are very familiar with it. Luckily crosses were fair / easy). TWITTERVERSE really opened up the east for me, so that side of the puzzle wasn't that tough. But FOREVER STAMP sure balanced things out. All in all, a nice little battle.

Rough/ugly stuff: Lun THA (!?!?!), YAWPS (I had the "W" and immediately wrote in HOWLS), -CRAT, ATT, SYL—pretty minimal, all things considered. Whoa, wait, I just noticed this so-called Cap'n ERI. What in the world?? (41A: "Cap'n ___" (Joseph C. Lincoln novel)). I like how "Joseph C. Lincoln novel" is supposed to help me; I have no idea who Joseph C. Lincoln is. He was an early 20th-century writer whose work was set in Cape Cod. "Cap'n ERI" was turned into a 2009 (or 2008, or 2007, depending on whom you listen to) film called "The Golden Boys," starring Rip Torn, David Carradine, Bruce Dern and Mariel Hemingway. Had you heard of "Cap'n ERI"? Joseph C. Lincoln? My ignorance of WYCHELM is my own, but I'm giving serious side glance to this ERI fellow. Yawp yawp.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Kyle Dolan

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging (or Challenging, depending on your grasp of supremely trivial pop culture)

THEME: none

Word of the Day: CODON (48D: One of 64 in a genetic table) —

n.
A sequence of three adjacent nucleotides constituting the genetic code that determines the insertion of a specific amino acid in a polypeptide chain during protein synthesis or the signal to stop protein synthesis. (thefreedictionary.com)

• • •

This is a lively and interesting puzzle. I want to take a moment, however, to talk about the downside of being hip, fresh, and contemporary. That is—triviality and quick obsolescence. I love the *idea* of DJ PAULY D (6A: "Jersey Shore" housemate's music-biz name), and it certainly looks cool in the grid, but as pop culture goes, I think it's a bridge too far, even for me. It's one thing to expect people to know the names of the cast of the "Jersey Shore." I once put SNOOKI in a puzzle, so I can't throw stones too hard here. But something about the "music biz name" part of the clue made me balk. Seriously? Why would one know that? Now, it's inferable. I somehow remembered (eventually) that PAULY D was … someone, and with the "J" from JETSET (the only thing I had in the NE for a while), the DJ part was gettable. It was all gettable (at least for me). But I slightly resented the sheer … sheerness, the thinness of that answer. I don't know how long this puzzle sat around—turnaround time can range from months to years. But "Jersey Shore" as a concept already feels dated. And that answer, with its expectation that we'll know not only names but stage names, is going to rankle some. And for once, I'm kind of sympathetic to those folks. I know it's a judgment call when it comes to contemporary pop culture. Unless you can get your stuff into print right away (the way independents can), you are risking something every time you grab for The New. I think it's often a risk worth taking, but the thing about risk is: it's risk. Things can go wrong.

OK, so the rest of the puzzle seems pretty good. I struggled everywhere there were answers I'd never seen before—that is, in and around CODON, SEA COAL (??) (37D: Constituent of molding sand) and DJPAULYD. Big thumbs up for ADORKABLE (a roll of the "contemporary" dice that paid off, IMO) (4D: Like cute nerds, in slang). Cluing was tough all over. Very Saturday, this one. The way they're supposed to be. The way I like 'em. My time would've improved considerably if I'd simply remembered Oswald's connection to MINSK, but no (19A: Where Lee Harvey Oswald was a lathe operator): I was stuck in … nowhere really. MENSA? Do they have lathes?

Fix-its: RAZE to RASE to TASE (23A: Take down with a charge). ELITES to JETSET (7D: First-class regulars). ELBAN (!) to EXILE (51D: Napoleon, notably). SHIFT to STINT (49D: Piece of work). CRANKIER to CRABBIER (27A: Less agreeable). I think that's it.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Alan DerKazarian

Relative difficulty: Easy

THEME:"Clued In"— grid divided into four discrete sections (replicating, somewhat, the look of a Clue game board). Three sections contain, respectively, three answers (with circled squares) that hint at different parts of the accusation one makes to end a game of Clue: the SUSPECT, the WEAPON, and the ROOM in which the murder was committed. The fourth section contains the full accusation hinted at by the other three sections: MISS SCARLET / IN THE LOUNGE / WITH THE ROPE

Theme answers:

TheSUSPECT (1A: The "who" of a Clue accusation, whose identity is hinted at by the three circled answers in this quadrant) is Miss Scarlet, which you know because SCARLET can precede each of the circled words in that NW quadrant: FEVER, LETTER, and TANAGER
TheROOM (11A: The "where" of a Clue accusation, whose identity is hinted at by the three circled answers in this quadrant) is the Lounge, which you know because each of the circled words in that NE quadrant is a synonym of "Lounge": RELAX, REST, and IDLE
TheWEAPON (73A: The "what" of a Clue accusation, whose identity is hinted at by the three circled answers in this quadrant) is the Rope, which you know because each of the circled answers in that SW quadrant is an anagram of "Rope":PORE, OPER., REPO

Word of the Day: ISTLE (47D: Basket fiber) —

n
1. (Textiles) a fibre obtained from various tropical American agave and yucca trees used in making carpets, cord, etc
[C19: from Mexican Spanish ixtle, from Nahuatl ichtli] (thefreedictionary.com)

• • •

So … it's January, the time when I make my annual pitch for financial contributions to this blog. Actually, I didn't make the pitch last year. I used last January to raise money for other causes instead (and it was my pleasure to do so). But this year I once again ask you (especially you regular readers) to consider what the blog is worth to you on an annual basis and give accordingly. As I've said before, as much as I love writing this blog, I treat it like a job— answers and commentary go up every day, without fail, usually at 12:01 am, but certainly by 9am at the very latest. This has been true for seven straight years. I know that some people are opposed to paying for what they can get for free, and still others really don't have money to spare. Both kinds of people are welcome to continue reading my blog, with my compliments. It will always be free. I have no interest in cordoning it off, nor do I have any interest in taking advertising. I value my independence too much. Anyway, if you are so moved, there is a Paypal button in the sidebar, and a mailing address here:

Rex Parker
℅ Michael Sharp
54 Matthews St
Binghamton NY 13905

For people who send me actual honest-to-god (i.e. "snail") mail, I have this great new set of thank-you postcards that I'm hoping to burn through: "the iconic Pantone color chip design in 100 brilliant colors." Who will be the lucky person who gets … let's see … Pantone 19-2025: Red Plum? Ooooh, elegant. It could be you. Or give via PayPal and get a thank-you email. That's cool too. Anyway, whatever you choose to do, I remain most grateful for your readership. Now on to the puzzle …

***

Really liked this one. Pretty sure I've seen Clue themes done before, but nothing this intricate, with this many, let's say, layers. Lack of all-over interlock is odd, but makes sense given the grid is supposed to represent the game board. One downside was the theme was transparent—in the title, in the grid's look, everything was right on the surface. This was one of the easiest Sundays I've ever solved. By the time I hit the SE corner, I was able to just write in the entire "accusation" without a hitch. The solving experience is … well, it's like solving four 11x11 puzzles, because that's literally what you have to do. This meant that the non-theme stuff was easily dispensed with and utterly forgettable. But still, theme-wise, this thing deserves a lot of credit. I love how each element of the accusation is represented differently in each quadrant, with the circled squares performing different duties each time. Because the grids are small and undemanding, the fill remains smooth throughout. No groaners anywhere. The one odd answer was also one of my favorites: ALIEN ATTACK (45A: Early Coleco hand-held game). Never heard of it, but could infer it from crosses. I especially love it crossing PTERODACTYL (15D: Prehistoric menace). Invaders from above, both futuristic and prehistoric. Awesome.

Usually Sunday puzzles offer me something I haven't seen before, some new word or phrase or personality. But today, besides ALIEN ATTACK, everything felt eerily familiar. After a semi-slowish start in the NW, where I wanted something like "murderer" or "killer" in that 1A slot, I really got humming. I don't remember a thing about the bottom half of the grid. I don't think I've ever moved through a grid so fast. Even the proper nouns weren't slowing me down at all. ANSELM, CRENNA, EUROVAN—I got all you guys. Captain Lou ALBANO! And they said watching MTV would never pay off…

[He's the father…]

Never heard of SENNETT before becoming a crossword junkie, but now—straight into the grid off the terminal "T" (144A: Director Mack of early slapstick) The one odd word (to me) was ISTLE, but I'm pretty sure I've seen it before. Last thing that went in the grid was [Tony the Twin], which I thought I didn't know, but then I wrote in that final "O" for OLIVA and realized "oh, the baseball player kind of Twin. Sure I've heard of that guy." And that was that. A fun time, over much too quickly.

And now for a new feature: The Puzzle Of The Week, wherein I direct your attention to the best thing I saw this week in the wide world of Crossword Puzzledom. While today's NYT is a strong contender (certainly the best thing I saw in the NYT this week), my very first Puzzle of the Week goes to "What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?" by Erik Agard (ft. Andy Kravis). First, I just love the idea of a puzzle that has a "featuring" credit—makes it more like a rap song, only instead of Rihanna we get Andy Kravis. Second, this puzzle delivers a great "aha" moment. There is one potentially brutal pop culture crossing, but that does little to diminish the overall quality of the puzzle. Get it from Erik's puzzle website, "Glutton for Pun." While you're at it, get the other 71 (!) puzzles he's published there. All for free. You're unlikely to be disappointed.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Zhouqin Burnikel

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: MMXIV — the ROMAN numeral version of this mostly still new year, each of which is the initial letter of a theme answer (67A: ___ numerals (what the initial letters of the answers to the five starred clues all are))

M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN (17A: *"The Sixth Sense" director)
M. BUTTERFLY (23A: *1988 Best Play Tony winner inspired by Puccini)
X-ACTO (39A: *Craft knife brand)
"I AM AMERICA" (47A: *2007 Stephen Colbert satirical book)
"'V' IS FOR VENGEANCE"(58A: *22nd in a Sue Grafton series)

Word of the Day: LEILA (35A: Girl in Byron's "Don Juan") —

Don Juan is a satiric poem by Lord Byron, based on the legend of Don Juan, which Byron reverses, portraying Juan not as a womaniser but as someone easily seduced by women. It is a variation on the epicform. Byron himself called it an "Epic Satire" (Don Juan, c. xiv, st. 99). Modern critics generally consider it Byron's masterpiece, with a total of more than 16,000 lines of verse. Byron completed 16 cantos, leaving anunfinished 17th canto before his death in 1824. Byron claimed he had no ideas in his mind as to what would happen in subsequent cantos as he wrote his work.
When the first two cantos were published anonymously in 1819, the poem was criticised for its 'immoral content', though it was also immensely popular. […] [In Canto VIII], Juan and John join fearlessly and bravely in the savage assault on Ismail. They scale the walls of the town and charge into battle. The conquest of Ismail causes the slaughter of 40,000 Turks, among them women (a few of whom are ravished) and children. Juan nobly rescues a ten-year-old Muslim girl, from two murderous Cossacks intent on killing her, and immediately resolves to adopt her as his own child. A noble Tartar khan valiantly fights to the death beside his five sons, just as instructed by Mahomet, presumably to be rewarded with houris in heaven.
Juan is a hero and is sent to Saint Petersburg, accompanied by the Muslim girl, whom he makes a vow to protect. Her name, Leila, is only revealed in Canto X.

• • •

THE PITCH— [You can scroll down if you've already read it]

***

Mixed reaction to this one. The theme felt oddly inconsistent as I was putting it together. The first letters are initials … but then they're not? "I" is just … the pronoun? "I"? "X" is part of a hyphenated brand name? Insofar as you pronounce the letters as letters, there is a kind of consistency, but it's thin. Also, it's January 6, so this has a belated feel to it. As a themeless puzzle, though, I kind of like it. The theme answers are interesting, and then there's the eerie KG thing going on with the long Downs: KELLY GREEN and KIRK GIBSON (29D: Dodgers slugger who was the 1988 N.L. M.V.P.). YOGA MATS (4D: They may be unrolled before meditation) also adds some relatively contemporary zing to this thing. And then there's MILEY, who sang "Wrecking Ball," which kind of recalls the ball dropping on New Year's Eve, which brings us back to the puzzle's theme, which might be genius after all, I guess.

A word about LEILA (35A: Girl in Byron's "Don Juan")? This is one of those answers that has been grandfathered in from the Maleska era, i.e. it's a kind of low-level crosswordese that gets treated as if it's common or easy, when in fact it's pretty arcane and most contemporary solvers will have no frame of reference for knowing it. None. There is no good clue for LEILA that does not involve centuries old poetry (in this case) or opera (in the other common clue for LEILA: ["The Pearl Fishers" soprano]). And it's not like she's a title character in either "Don Juan" (where she is decidedly minor) or Bizet's opera (though there she at least has a major role). I am in no way saying it can't be a crossword answer. But it should go behind glass marked "Use Only When Necessary," and there's really no way it should ever be a Monday answer. I finished this puzzle in 2:46, so clearly getting LEILA from crosses was no problem. But still, clues like that give crosswords a bad, musty name. The problem is, once it's in the database, constructors think "oh, others have used it, I can use it," instead of trying to rework the grid a little to allow for something fresher or at least more solid and common. LEILA was *never* important enough to be in a crossword puzzle. She is desperation fill. Treat her that way.

P.S. if you are thinking "but there are other LEILAs," let me stop you right there and tell you you are thinking of Eric Clapton's LAYLA, LAILA Ali, or LEELA from "Futurama." There are, actually, a few other LEILAs (an old-time actress, a character in a novel here and there), but they make the Byron girl seem Meryl Streep-famous by comparison.

P.P.S. Apologies to opera buffs, but come on.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Mark Bickham

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging (*for a Tuesday*)

THEME:"IS IT GOOD?" (62A: Question posed while pulling leftovers from the fridge … or a query about the initial words of 18-, 24-, 33-, 43- or 50-Across) — first words are slang expressions that (mostly) sound as if they are negative but really mean "good."

Word of the Day: KIEL (12D: German city on a canal of the same name) —

Kiel is a city in Calumet and Manitowoc counties in the U.S. state of Wisconsin. The population was 3,738 at the 2010 census. Of this, 3,429 were in Manitowoc County, and 309 were in Calumet County. The city is located mostly within Manitowoc County, though a portion extends west into adjacent Calumet County.
It was once known as the "Wooden Shoes" Capital of Wisconsin as it held the only wooden shoes factory in Wisconsin. (wikipedia) (Kiel is also a German city with about 240,000 inhabitants; this Wisconsin city is just more fun to contemplate)

• • •

THE PITCH— [You can scroll down if you've already read it]

***

Lots of problems here. First, the revealer is not nearly tight enough. "IS THIS GOOD?" You'd probably say "any good" or "still good." You *might* say "IS THIS GOOD?" but revealers are supposed to be bam, pow, spot-on. This one simply isn't. Next, what does RADICAL have to do with all these others? I can see how the other first words have a kind of negative cast that make their "good" meaning unexpected/paradoxical. But RADICAL just doesn't seem to fit whatever pattern this puzzle is supposed to have. Yes, it's a slang adj. meaning "good," no it's not a regular adj. describing something bad (except perhaps in political and tendentious ways that still make it out of step with the other first words). I'd've replaced it with something starting with, say, SICK. Means "good," looks bad. SICK OF IT ALL fits, if you really have to stick with the 11-letter length. I'm sure there are better options, but RADICAL—seems off. Then there's the fill, which is demonstrably subpar. SHOGI (1D: Japanese chess) has only ever appeared in two NYT puzzles in recent(ish) years, for good reason. KIEL is a place (12D: German city on a canal of the same name), and valid if you really need it, but again, it's a foreign word of no great fame that could Easily have been replaced with something better.. I mean, what's it holding in place, IT RIP!?!?! SLO?? Yeesh. The entire grid is weighed down by tired crosswordese. Everywhere, in every corner, the fill is either dull or looks like it's straight out of a Maleska-era grid. That south, man alive. OOOLANOOILOLIO! DO I? OH GOD, indeed. Just a mess. EZIO and EFT, ARNO and OKRA. IRINA and N-TEST. ENTR' and ECARD. There's just no escape. Yesterday's puzzle wasn't Great, but it was solid and had some colorful fill. This one is a strikeout, I'm afraid.

My wife and I, independently, wrote in 'ER RIP at 16A: "Let ___!" ("Full speed ahead!"). I am thus sure that we were not the only ones. IT RIP is one of the worst partials I've ever seen. Yes, worse than the very random A SCAR. I'm just gonna let this one go now, and hope for better days ahead. If you want to do a fun (and free) puzzle, head over to Neville Fogarty's site and pick up "2013 in Portmanteaux." It wasn't my Puzzle of the Week last week, but it was up there.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Sam Ezersky and Victor Fleming

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: Spongebob Squarepants — last words (or word parts) of theme answers are SPONGE, BOB, SQUARE and PANTS, respectively. Central answer reveals his channel, NICKELODEON (36A: Channel for the character named by the ends of 18-, 24-, 52- and 59-Across)

Theme answers:

BATH SPONGE (18A: Tub accessory)
THINGAMABOB (24A: Doohickey)
TIMES SQUARE (52A: New Year's Eve hot spot)
"BOSSYPANTS" (59A: 2011 Tina Fey autobiography)

Word of the Day: ILO (33D: U.N. workers' agcy.) —

The International Labour Organization (ILO) is a United Nations agency dealing with labour issues, particularly international labour standards and decent work for all. 185 of the 193 UN member states are members of the ILO.
In 1969, the organization received the Nobel Peace Prize for improving peace among classes, pursuing justice for workers, and providing technical assistance to developing nations.
The ILO registers complaints against entities that are violating international rules; however, it does not impose sanctions on governments. (wikipedia)

• • •

THE PITCH — [You can scroll down if you've already read it]

So … it's January, the time when I make my annual week-long pitch for financial contributions to this blog. Actually, I didn't make the pitch last year. I used last January to raise money for other causes instead (and it was my pleasure to do so). But this year I once again ask you (especially you regular readers) to consider what the blog is worth to you on an annual basis and give accordingly. As I've said before, as much as I love writing this blog, I treat it like a job— answers and commentary go up every day, without fail, usually at 12:01 am, but certainly by 9am at the very latest. This has been true for seven straight years. I know that some people are opposed to paying for what they can get for free, and still others really don't have money to spare. Both kinds of people are welcome to continue reading my blog, with my compliments. It will always be free. I have no interest in cordoning it off, nor do I have any interest in taking advertising. I value my independence too much. Anyway, if you are so moved, there is a Paypal button in the sidebar, and a mailing address here:

Rex Parker
℅ Michael Sharp
54 Matthews St
Binghamton NY 13905

Maybe I'll stick a PayPal button in here for the mobile users. Let's see...
I think that worked. Cool.

For people who send me actual honest-to-god (i.e. "snail") mail, I have this great new set of thank-you postcards that I'm hoping to burn through: "the iconic Pantone color chip design in 100 brilliant colors." Who will be the lucky person who gets … let's see … Pantone 19-2025: Red Plum? Ooooh, elegant. It could be you. Or give via PayPal and get a thank-you email. That's cool too. Anyway, whatever you choose to do, I remain most grateful for your readership. Now on to the puzzle …

Update: I got my first snail-mail donation yesterday—look at the cuteness:

***

THE PUZZLE: This should've been much more amusing than it was. The one thing I do like, theme-wise, is that the toon's name is broken into four discrete syllables, so when I read them, I am reminded of the way his name is chanted in the opening theme. Sponge! Bob! Square! Pants!

Beyond that, it's simply a "final words make a phrase" puzzle with a couple pretty good theme answers and a lot of unremarkable fill. Of course the fill looks Amazing compared to what we had yesterday, but that's a pretty low bar. What's more troublesome here is actually not fill quality, but clue lacklusterness. There are no interesting clues. My constructor friend said this about a puzzle from earlier this week as well. Just very unimaginative and blah. Or else just awkward—[Puck handler's surface]? Why go with such out-of-the-language phrasing? It's no less transparent, and no more interesting, than the more economical and mellifluous [Skater's surface]. But the main issue is dullness. Just read down the list of clues. 1-Across (Message indicating "adult beverages not supplied") is positively scintillating compared to most of the rest.

Didn't have much trouble. Only slow-ups happened at DBLS (39D: Some substantial hits: Abbr.), where I had RBIS and thus had trouble initially getting into the SE; and then again at NEW ISSUE (?), where I had NEW STOCK (36D: Initial public offering). Is "new issue" a tight phrase? I'll defer to someone w/ greater expertise in that area. Anyway, none of this provided too much of a problem. Couldn't spell ELENORE, but that's no surprise. TORII is not great fill, but I do like that someone finally bothered to give it the baseball clue it deserves (20A: Outfielder Hunter with nine gold gloves). So much better than the old [Shinto shrine gateway] clue. Speaking of baseball—only three months til opening day! I'm already semi-giddy w/ anticipation.

Stay warm!

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Caleb Emmons

Relative difficulty: Medium (Easy, but having to do all that mental shifting was time-consuming)

THEME: SAN ANDREAS FAULT (7D: Site of slippage … both geographically and in this puzzle) — the entire grid east of SAN ANDREAS FAULT must be shifted up one square for the crossings to make any sense

[It's possible that BANANA PEEL (21A: You might slip on it) and PATCH OF ICE (48A: You might slip on it), because they involve slipping, are also theme answers, though what they have to do with earthquakes or fault lines, I don't know.]

[Is BREA on the fault? (38A: City in southern California) It's not a very big place, but that might also be a theme answer?]

Word of the Day: Frank ZAPPA (1D: Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductee with only one Top 40 hit) —

"Valley Girl" is a song by the musician Frank Zappa and his then 14-year-old daughter, Moon Unit Zappa. It was released on Zappa's 1982 album Ship Arriving Too Late to Save a Drowning Witch. Moon supplied Frank with much of the content, speaking typical "Valley girl" or "Valspeak" phrases she heard at "parties, bar mitzvahs, and the Galleria".^[1] Zappa intended to lampoon the image, but the single popularized the Valley Girl stereotype nationwide.^[2]^[3]^[4] There was a significant increase in "Valspeak" slang usage, whether ironically spoken or not (not the least of which was the film, Valley Girl). This song was also included in the compilation album Strictly Commercial.
The song was Zappa's only top 40 single in the United States, peaking at #32 in the Billboard Hot 100, although he had charted hits in other parts of the world. It is one of the most unusual Zappa tunes because of how relatively "normal" it is, and is played entirely in 4/4 with the exception of the 7/8 groove at the very end. (wikipedia)

• • •

THE PITCH — [You can scroll down if you've already read it]

***

THE PUZZLE: This is an interesting puzzle, but there's really not a lot to it. You just shift the east half of the grid up one. The end. There are no theme answers except the central one. I'd expect some kind of themeish action to be happening in the NW and SE. Maybe a quake-related word or two? Something? So it's thin. It's well made, otherwise. Fill is clean. PEACH FUZZ is a great answer (3D: Sign of puberty, maybe). It's not as exciting as it wants to be, however, because it's really just an easy themeless that's broken in the middle. I've seen an earthquake-related puzzle done before, and now I can't think of where. I'm waiting to hear back from my friends with better memories. But the existence of other fault line puzzles isn't a knock against this one. The main negative for me, actually, was just the headache of having to continually reimagine, or revisualize, I guess, how the fault-crossing answers worked. There was a significant element of tedium there. This is not to be confused with difficulty, of which this puzzle has very little. The weirdest / most interesting element of the grid is probably the lonely little "T" down there at the bottom (65A: ___-square). One of the few times you're going to see a true one-letter answer in a crossword puzzle.

Picked up the theme at SHINY (15D: Glistening, as Christmas ornaments), or, rather, at MESS (5A: Clutter), or, rather, at the whole north area. Got UTAH and TONI to fit in the grid, but the obvious answers above and below them (MESS and BANANA…, respectively) just didn't fit. I already had SAN ANDREAS FAULT at that point (that answer was transparent), so the first thing I thought was, "oh, right, slippage." The rest of the puzzle was just a matter of making the necessary mental adjustments. What's weird is, before I had any idea what the theme was, when I was still moving through the NW and W, I was thinking "this is a nice grid … can't see the theme yet, but this is really well filled. Ungratuitous Zs. MUTANT (5D: Certain horror film villain). Good stuff." And then there was the theme. Which was fine, but, as I say, obvious, and more annoying than interesting or difficult to work out.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Patrick Berry

Relative difficulty: Easy

THEME: none

Word of the Day: Lawrence KASDAN (7A: Lawrence who co-wrote "The Empire Strikes Back" and "Return of the Jedi") —

Lawrence Edward Kasdan (born January 14, 1949) is an American film producer, director, and screenwriter. He is best known as the co-writer of Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, Raiders of the Lost Ark, and Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi. Kasdan has been confirmed to be co-writer for the upcoming third trilogy of Star Wars.^[1]
He is the father of directors Jake Kasdan and Jon Kasdan, and the father-in-law of musician Inara George. (wikipedia) (wait … there's someone named INARA???)

• • •

THE PITCH — [You can scroll down if you've already read it]

• • •

THE FRIDAY PUZZLE: This puzzle is so insanely well made that I'm going to make a point of finding all its faults. Otherwise, my review would just be me shaking my head in awe. So, here are the ways in which this puzzle sucks:

MACHOS? (35A: Domineering men). Really, a noun? The dude sang "Macho, macho man"… but he did also sing "I want to be a macho!" Damn it! OK, scratch #1.

IN A PET? No one has beenIN A PET since the '50s, and even then no one liked it. The only person who can properly be said to beIN A PET is a vet, during surgery or perhaps certain routine examinations.
OATERS? What year is it? We're still pretending this is current!? [but even as I write this I'm noticing it's Right Beneath CRACK SHOT, which is so perfect … Damn it!]
EPPS and TERI are modern(ish) crosswordese and, despite being marginal and far apart from one another, together they nearly destroy the whole puzzle.
Barry Manilow.
KRISS KROSS should clearly have been clued as the youthful rap group who pioneered the Backwards Clothes Movement of the early '90s. So what if they actually spell their name KRIS and not KRISS? I think my point is still valid. Actually, I just want to play this:

OK, enough of that. In reality, what you have here is a 64-worder that is so smooth that it almost seems unremarkable. There was nothing odd or tortured or alien, not even a decent candidate for Word of the Day. What did it have? A cavalcade of long answers, almost all of them perfectly in-the-language phrases, five of them Right Alongside One another. That center is so fat and so white and he drove CHEAT SHEETS (a fantastic answer) right through it!? Honestly, it's not fair. I guess the grid doesn't have many Scrabbly letters. You could knock it for that. But let me tell you, constructors revere this guy for a reason—his grids exhibit a high level of difficulty, but without pretension and (most importantly) with flawless execution. I can't find any real crap, even in the short stuff. My only (genuine) complaint was that it was too easy. I was done in 4:38. Too smooth. I've seen more superficially dazzling themelesses, but I've never seen someone go under 68 words with such ease. Almost nonchalance. Most people's grids start to buckle somewhere, sometimes pretty badly, when you start to get down into those depths. But this thing isn't even breaking a sweat. Look on his works, ye mighty, and despair.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Cloud Shepherd artist / SUN 12-22-13 / House committee chairman Darrell / Vintage wedding gown fabrics / Spanish cession in Spanish-American war / Majority owner of Chrysler / Rao Serpent Rope novelist / 1997 PGA champ who captained 2012 US Ryder Cup team

Executioner in Mikado / MON 12-23-13 / Texas city on Brazos / Young Indiana Jones portrayer / Dry-ice contraption for theatrical effect / Newspaperman Ochs /

Philippine seaport with reduplicative name / TUE 12-24-13 / Class of automobile inspired by Ford Mustang

Ancient Mideast language / WED 12-25-13 / Aa pahoehoe / Rebellious region of Caucasus / Via main street of ancient Rome / Perino George W Bush's last press secretary / Anything 1994 Nick Nolte Albert Brooks film / Second-highest peak in Cascades

African Queen screenwriter / FRI 12-27-13 / Jennifer of Bound / Leader of Uganda's independence movement / Phishing lures / Oscar nominated film featuring dentist turned bounty hunter / Caustic soda chemically / Brown refreshers / Things employed to show passage of time a la Citizen Kane

#1 spoken-word hit of 1964 / SAT 12-28-13 / Jonathan's wife in Dracula / Vino de Spanish wine designation / Castle of Hungarian tourist draw / 1975 hit song about tramps like us / Phoenix suburb larger than Midwest city it's named for

Harold's partner in comedies / SUN 12-29-13 / Model/actress Keibler / Lab item that sounds like popular website / Secret society in Dan Brown's Angels Demons / 1989 world champion figure skater / He said most important thing for poets to do is to write as little as possible

Fluctuation of musical tempo / MON 12-30-13 / Birthright seller in Bible / Novelist Allende

Food preservative for short / TUE 12-31-13 / Site of Kubla Khan's pleasure dome / North American finch / One of Spain's Balearics

1971 #1 hit for Carole King / WED 1-1-14 / People of Rwanda Burundi / First King of English / Economics Nobelist William F / Fire-breating creature of myth / White Stripes OutKast / Tree with extra large acorns / Frank's partner in funnies

Hircosity / 1968 #1 hit for Supremes / THU 1-2-14 / Robert Frost poem good fences make good neighbors / Star Trek prosthesis / Red Sox Hall-of-Famer Bobby / Pope who declared I am sinner This is most accurate definition

Gedda Ghiaurov of opera fame / FRI 1-3-14 / Cap'n Joseph C. Lincoln novel / Lun Tuptim's beloved in King I / Online realm since 2006 / Common British Isles shader

Director Mack of early slapstick / SUN 1-5-14 / George's mother on Seinfeld / Cartoony clubs / Sainted archbishop of Canterbury who founded scholasticism / Bloody Mary stirrer

Girl in Byron's Don Juan / MON 1-6-14 / 1988 Best Play Tony winner inspired by Puccini / 2007 Stephen Colbert satirical book

Japanese chess / TUE 1-7-14 / German city on canal of same name / Alley Oop woman / Headline event in India in 1974 '98 / 1969 platinum record for Creedence Clearwater Revival

Outfielder Hunter with nine gold gloves / WED 1-8-14 / Manse occupant / Gee I think you're swell girl of 1960s song / She in Salerno / Stanford Binet figs

Flaming Gorge locale / THU 1-9-14 / Lucy title character in Sir Walter Scott's Bride of Lammermoor / Richard War Zone Diary journalist / Rock Roll Hall of Fame inductee with only one Top 40 hit

Bahla fort site / FRI 1-10-14 / Word puzzle popular since 1930s / Menelaus kingdom / Symbol of liberty in French Revolution / 1978 disco hit featuring warning don't fall in love / Body of water belatedly added to course of Erie Canal