Rex Parker Does the NYT Crossword Puzzle

Constructor: Joel Fagliano

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: Part of a Halloween dinner?— that is the clue for all the theme answers, which are candies with names the second parts of which sound like foods one might have at dinner:

SWEDISH FISH
JELLY BEANS
CANDY CORN
HOT TAMALES
TOOTSIE ROLL

Word of the Day: RISSOLE (40D: Savory deep-fried pastry) —

A rissole (from Latin russeolus, meaning reddish, via French in which "rissoler" means "to [make] redden") is a smallcroquette, enclosed in pastry or rolled in breadcrumbs, usually baked or deep fried.^[1] It is filled with sweet or savory ingredients, most often minced meat or fish, and is served as an entrée, main course, dessert or side dish. (wikipedia)

• • •

It's not Halloween yet, but why not? This is a cute way to frame what is essentially just a candy-brands puzzle. Fish, beans, corn, tamales, roll. That's actually a pretty plausible meal. I don't think it's a requirement of the theme that the "foods" all go together, but I like that they don't seem far-fetched or disgusting in combination. I also like this grid's odd shape. It's not jarringly strange, but something about the layout makes the grid look more like a floor plan than most grids. The N/S and NW/SE in particular seem like little self-contained rooms. And those corners are all quite big—seemed like a lot of white space to get through, and a couple of answers were real stumpers (to me), but in the end, my time was actually under my normal Wednesday time.

NW was easy once I got JELLY BEANS because that "J" made CARL'S JR. obvious (1D: Fast-food chain with a smiling star in its logo). SE, also easy, but those big NE and SW corners posed more of a problem. Clue on HAIRDOS totally baffled me (11D: Bob and others). Very clever use of misdirection there with the initial (and thus capitalized, and thus name-like) "Bob.""Afro" or "Page boy" would've been more transparent. As it was, I kept thinking "who is Bob HAI ... something?" Thankfully the surrounding answers were easy enough (I somehow even remembered BORODIN) (27A: "Prince Igor" composer), and I figured the "Bob" thing out without too much struggle. The opposite corner was tougher, as RISSOLE was utterly new to me. Couldn't infer a thing about it. Had to trust that all the crosses were correct. Seems a real outlier in this puzzle, but ... it's a thing, and the crosses were more than fair, so I'm not exactly outraged. Enjoyed seeing ABZUG and "PUSH IT." I like tough broads. Very disappointed to find out that the very Halloween-y 1A: What quoth the raven? had nothing to do with Poe ("quoth the raven, 'CAW'" = first draft stuff).

Great clues:

[Spare wear] = G-STRING
[Black and blue, say] = TWO-TONE

Not so fond of plural TAHINIS (13D: Pastes used in Middle Eastern cuisine) — is that what you make HUMMUSES out of? (note to constructors: that was a joke; please don't ever use HUMMUSES)

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: David Kwong

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: monsters in MIRRORS (23D: Things worth looking into?) — MIRRORS sits in middle of the grid; on one side, there are four Universal movie monsters. On the other side (reflected in the MIRROR(S), presumably), the mirror images of those monsters, which, in DRACULA's case, is [nothing] ('cause DRACULA doesn't have a reflection!)

Theme answers:

1A: Universal Studios role of 1941 (WOLFMAN) (8A: NAMFLOW)
17A: Universal Studios role of 1931 (MONSTER) (18A: RETSNOM)
59A: Universal Studios role of 1925 (PHANTOM) (61A: MOTNAHP)
64A: Universal Studios role of 1931 (DRACULA) (65A: )

Word of the Day: LUNE (3D: Crescent shape) —

In geometry, a lune is either of two figures, both shaped roughly like a crescent Moon. The word "lune" derives from luna, the Latin word for Moon. (wikipedia)

• • •

A cute punchline, but that's a long way to go, and a lot of puzzle to sacrifice, for that one punchline. I have to write in three answers backwards ... for no real reason. MIRRORS is plural when there is really only one mirror here, and also technically in a mirror the letters would be flipped ... so the conceit is far-fetched. Further, MONSTER made me go "???" Only later did I realize "oh, he means *Frankenstein's* MONSTER" ... but technically all these theme answers are monsters, so that answer felt weird/weak/odd. Again, no-reflection DRACULA, cool. Just not worth all the contrivances required to pull it off. IMHO. Puzzle too easy and only really interesting in one, highly localized place.

I can't imagine it took people that long to figure out the non-existent ALUCARD thing. I wrote in ALUCARD and then had [Place to be pampered] as SPA ... D. When crosses checked out, I figured out the gag and just removed ALUCARD. Done and done. Nothing else in this grid is tough, though I did have a slight problem getting started, because of LUNE (?) and FT. SMITH (!?!?!) (4D: Second-largest city in Ark.). But crosses were favorable. Funniest thing in the puzzle was MITTENS (10D: Nickname for a 2012 presidential candidate), as I totally forgot about that nickname. Hell, to be honest, I mostly totally forgot Romney exists.

Off to watch the Sox polish off the Cardinals. Or so I assume. It is Halloween Eve or Devil's Night or Mischief Night or whatever, so who knows what could happen ... as I type this, the Cards have the bases loaded in the 7th ... spooooky.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Brad Wilber

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: none

Word of the Day: Eleonora DUSE (49D: Italian actress Eleonora) —

Eleonora Duse (Italian: [eleoˈnɔːɾa ˈduːze]; (3 October 1858 – 21 April 1924) was an Italian actress, often known simply as Duse. // Duse was born in Vigevano, Lombardy, and began acting as a child. Both her father and her grandfather were actors, and she joined the troupe at age four. Due to poverty, she initially worked continually, traveling from city to city with whichever troupe her family was currently engaged. She came to fame in Italian versions of roles made famous by Sarah Bernhardt. She gained her first major success in Europe, then toured South America, Russia and the United States; beginning the tours as a virtual unknown but leaving in her wake a general recognition of her genius. While she made her career and fame performing in the theatrical "warhorses" of her day, she is today remembered more for her association with the plays of Gabriele d'Annunzio and Henrik Ibsen. (wikipedia)

• • •

Felt hard, but my time says 'average.' I enjoyed the solve, but this felt much shakier than the average Brad Wilber puzzle. There were phrases where I knew both words but either hadn't seen them arranged that way before or didn't feel the words made a very solid self-standing thing. Getting gas from SHALE (i.e. fracking) is a very hot topic in the area where I live (just on top of PA), but I honestly can't remember seeing the phrase OIL SHALE before. I see that claw game every time I walk into Wegmans, but have never heard it called anything, let alone a CLAW CRANE (22A: Arcade game prize grabber). I'm sure a FALLEN HEM is a thing, but it has a certain GREEN PAINT quality to it (GREEN PAINT = adj/noun pairing that is an imaginable thing but not a phrase that deserves to stand on its own). Never in my life heard of BRASS ERA (54A: Pre-W.W. I in automotive history). I was thinking HORSE ERA for a bit. Never heard of DUSE, but (very very) luckily I knew how to spell NIENTE. I can see that crossing possibly being lethal.

Found the NE very hard (even knowing the Oates novel "THEM"—[Novel in Joyce Carol Oates's Wonderland Quartet]) until I figured out the LBJ part of LBJ RANCH (9D: Tourist attraction on Texas' Pedernales river). Never a big fan of ENORME. Not a terribly big fan of NON-TITLE. So I'm in this strange position of having enjoyed the challenge while having winced or squinted at much of the fill. Perhaps it's because the cluing was good, as was some of the fill I haven't mentioned (TORT REFORM, PATRON SAINT, VELVET ELVIS, I'M RUINED, BLUE CRAB, E.L. DOCTOROW). I don't normally solve/write in the morning, so I might be a bit disoriented. Anyway, I'd say this is an above-average puzzle, but a below-average Brad Wilber puzzle.

And so to breakfast.

Happy November.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Tom Heilman

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: none

Word of the Day: Karl BÖHM (5D: Austrian conductor Karl) —

Karl August Leopold Böhm (August 28, 1894 in Graz – August 14, 1981 in Salzburg) was an Austrian conductor. […] Böhm was praised for his rhythmically robust interpretations of the operas and symphonies of Mozart, and in the 1960s he was entrusted with recording all the Mozart symphonies with the Berlin Philharmonic. His brisk, straightforward way with Wagner won adherents, as did his readings of the symphonies of Brahms, Bruckner andSchubert. His 1971 complete recording of the Beethoven symphonies with the Vienna Philharmonic was also highly regarded. On a less common front, he championed and recorded Alban Berg's avant-garde operas Wozzeck and Lulu before they gained a foothold in the standard repertory. Böhm mentioned in the notes to his recordings of these works that he and Berg discussed the orchestrations, leading to changes in the score (as he had similarly done, previously, with Richard Strauss).

• • •

Unlike yesterday, where I thought I was slow and my time was normal, today I thought I was fast … and my time was normal. Well, normal-ish. Somewhat on the low side, but not as low as I thought. With no significant hang-ups, I thought I was gold, but I guess there was one significant hang-up—namely, the entire bottom of the puzzle. There must've been a good minute or so in there where I lost my grip on the puzzle and just couldn't punch down into the south. I had NOOGIE, NUTS and POISE, and also USTINOV (46D: 1967 Emmy winner for playing Socrates), but still found the puzzle intractable for a bit. Eventually tested MORE at the end of ONE MORE—still don't quite understand how the clue works (45D: What a slightly shy person may request)—and that seemed to do the trick. Got ROT, guessed UTTER, and away I went.

Back to ONE MORE—I get that "shy" can mean "not having enough money" or "socially reserved"… but I guess here it just means "short of some unstated, desired amount." Like, when I'm shy one pancake and I ask for ONE MORE. Or something. Don't like it, though I'm sure it's defensible, somehow. The rest, I liked. I think the made-up modern lingo is a bit out of control in the NE—never even heard of JAM CAM (9A: Traffic reporter's aid) or KIDULT (18A: Grown-up who's not quite grown-up), though both are inferable—but everything else seems fair and aptly, often cleverly, clued. I missed the part in baseball where the Twins and ORIOLEs are "rivals"(16A: Twin's rival). They're not in the same division and not from the same part of the country, so … another full-court sports clue boner. But [Result of knuckling down?] is great for NOOGIE, and [Troubling post-engagement status, briefly] makes nice use of misdirection on "engagement," so overall the cluing seemed pretty decent. I like the workaround on ILLIN' today (27A: "You Be ___" (1986 hip-hop hit))—no more wading into the whole "does it mean 'doing well' or 'doing badly'?" mare's nest. Just quote Run-DMC and move on (good advice, generally).

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Andy Kravis and Victor Barocas

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging

THEME: "Stolen Produce" — half the theme answers are two-word phrases where first word is a FRUIT and the second word is a synonym for "FLIES" (i.e. "departs"). Other half of the theme answers are paired with the fruit answers; they are represented in the grid without the letters of the FRUIT in question (because the FRUIT has "flown"):

GRAPE LEAVES => letters in "GRAPE" (i.e. G, R, A, P, and E) "leave" from the phrase GERMAN SHEPHERDS (23A: Many service dogs, after 29-Across?), leaving you with EMNSHEHRDS

Theme answers:

GRAPE LEAVES GERMAN SHEPHERDS, thus EMNSHEHRDS
DATE BOOKS from COMPOUND FRACTURE, thus COMPOUNFRCUR
LEMON DROPS from LOCH NESS MONSTER, thus OCHNSSSTER
BANANA SPLITS from BARNUM AND BAILEY, thus RUMDBILEY
FRUIT FLIES from OXFORD UNIVERSITY, thus OXODNVERSIY

Word of the Day:"TO HELEN" (6D: Poe poem) —

To Helen
BY EDGAR ALLAN POE
Helen, thy beauty is to me
   Like those Nicéan barks of yore,
That gently, o'er a perfumed sea,
   The weary, way-worn wanderer bore
   To his own native shore.

On desperate seas long wont to roam,
   Thy hyacinth hair, thy classic face,
Thy Naiad airs have brought me home
   To the glory that was Greece,
   And the grandeur that was Rome.

Lo! in yon brilliant window-niche
   How statue-like I see thee stand,
The agate lamp within thy hand!
   Ah, Psyche, from the regions which
   Are Holy-Land!

• • •

Hard to express how much I dislike this theme, and themes like it. I deeply resent having to write nonsense into my grid. And haphazard nonsense at that. EMNSHEHRDS? OCHNSSSTER? Ugh. Just painful to have to go back and forth and check the letters that have "flown." I have no doubt that the theme is complex and difficult to execute etc., but as a solving experience it was deeply unsatisfactory. The nonsense words added a layer of difficulty, one which would normally be welcome on a Sunday. But no. Not in this form. No thanks. I'll take my difficulty some other way. Tough/clever clues, maybe. Innovative/ unexpected fill, sure. But OXODNVERSIY? No.

To this puzzle's credit, it is (mostly) very cleanly filled. It's not eye-popping, but neither is it clunky or painful, really. You've got a smattering of crosswordese, but not so's you'd notice or care much. It's pretty spread out and not terribly grating. ANDA and IACT (!) aren't great, but a couple of partials in a Sunday—not a real problem. I like HEKATE in her Greek clothing (I'm much more used to the HECATE spelling, probably because I'm much more used to reading Latin and not Greek). There are a few things that slowed me down. First, J. COLE—I know of him, actually, but the title of the album didn't ring a bell at all (31A: Rapper with the 2013 #1 album "Born Sinner"). Then there was FTC (short for Federal Trade Commission—you might've known that, but I just guessed it, then looked it up to make sure) (108D: Org. "protecting America's consumers"). That is not an entity I know a lot about. I had Santa CLARA before Santa CLAUS, and couldn't decide if it was OCHER or OCHRE at first—and that was right in the middle of one of them there nonsense theme answers, so that wasn't fun. Never ever heard of "TO HELEN," nor of OONA Chaplin, whose maternal grandmother (it turns out) is the more crossword-famous OONA O'Neil. [Politico Kefauver] looked esoteric to me, but right when I was about to harrumph and move on, his name came to me clear as day (ESTES). He was a big deal in the mid-20th century—led a committee investigating organized crime. Also ran unsuccessfully on ticket with AES against DDE in '56.

So, somewhat harder than normal because of the gibberish, but otherwise, pretty normal in terms of difficulty. I can definitely appreciate the intricacy of the construction, but this just wasn't my thing—which is weird, as I have often solved and liked Andy's puzzles. This is his NYT debut, but you should know he has his own puzzle site, here. Worth checking out.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: John Lieb

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME:"IT'S RAINING MEN" (15D: Camp classic by the Weather Girls … or a homophonic hint to 3-, 8-, 26- and 31-Down) — the Down theme answers are "reigning men," i.e. kings and emperors:

Theme answers:

3D: "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" protagonist (KING ARTHUR)
26D: So-called "Father of Europe" (CHARLEMAGNE)
8D: Eponym of the city now known as Istanbul (CONSTANTINE)
31D: Shakespeare play that begins "Now is the winter of our discontent" ("RICHARD III")

Word of the Day: BEI (13A: "___ Mir Bist Du Schön (1938 hit)) —

bei (+ dative)
(with something that has a location) by (some place or someone); near; with; on
Ich habe es nicht bei mir. — “I do not have it on me.”

(with something that has a definite time) by (some time); by the beginning of (some event); at; on; upon
bei Abfahrt des Zuges — “upon departure of the train”

(with something that has a duration) during; while; over
bei der Arbeit — “during work”
bei einem Glase Wein — “over a glass of wine”

(with a person, business name, or job title) at the home, business, or station usually occupied by (someone)

(with an organization) in; for
bei der Firma arbeiten — “to work for the firm”

(with something that may or may not occur) if there is (something)
bei Schnee — “if there is snow”

(in a postal address) care of (wiktionary)

• • •

Groaner pun is the only thing between this puzzle and a theme so basic and banal ("These Four Things Belong To Same Category") the NYT and most major outlets would never ever publish it. That said, if you are a fan of groaner puns, then why not? I'm not, but you knew that. The puzzle has the added … let's say, "virtue"… of having all the theme answers running (or "falling") down (like "rain"— Get It!?). So two things. Two things between this theme and remedial nonsense. But that might be enough. Pun + downness combo makes the puzzle both silly and visually interesting, which is Better Than Boring (and on Monday, Better Than Boring is pretty much the Bar).

Two things I learned / noticed because of this theme—first, Paul Shaffer co-wrote this song!? That is news to me. I know him almost exclusively as Letterman's musical director. Could not name any song he wrote—til now. Cool. Second, "homophonic" is one letter away from "homophobic," which is something close to ironic in the context of today's puzzle, as the song at the center of it all is clued as a "camp classic," by which I think the puzzle means "Big Gay Anthem" (which is what the song is now, despite the "each and every woman could find the perfect guy" line). If "homophonic" meant "sounding gay," that would work here. It doesn't mean that, of course. I'm basically just turning words around in my head at this point, so feel free to disregard the majority of this paragraph.

This puzzle has far too much crosswordese and junk. BEI is practically criminal, esp. on a Monday. Know how often it's been in the NYT since I started blogging seven years ago? No times. Precisely no times. The last time was in April 2006, and that puzzle was a Thursday. BEI, man, that is a bad and likely Entirely Unnecessary choice up there. I mean, AROO is terrrrrible, but it's terrible in that way you can just blow past. BEI sticks with you. Ugh. Choice to go with NUANCE is probably not a good one. Leaves you with a terminal-U situation—really limits your options as a constructor. So you get the horrid AEIOU and horrider BEI. TRANCE, STANCE, even FRANCE would probably have been easier to pull off. Even if you had to pull fill out all the way down to PARMESAN, what would you be losing, really?

Lastly, "Now is the winter of our discontent" is not a complete thought and should really have an ellipsis after it in the clue. It makes about as much sense on its own as "Now is the dog of my neighbor" without the subsequent "peeing on my lawn."

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Paula Gamache

Relative difficulty: Medium+

THEME: WISE CRACK (60A: Witticism … or, literally, a description of the answer to each of the four starred clues?) — theme answers have WI- on one end and -SE on the other, so WISE has been CRACK(ed), I suppose.

Theme answers:

17A: *Migratory flock (WILD GEESE)
30A: *Singer Amy with six Grammys (WINEHOUSE) — really wanted this to be GRANT at first, sadly.
36A: *Pegasus, notably (WINGED HORSE)
42A: *"Regardless of the outcome…" ("WIN OR LOSE…")

Word of the Day: HENRI Bendel (16A: Bendel of fashion) —

Henri Bendel is an American upscale women's specialty store based in New York City that sells fashion accessories, cosmetics and fragrances, gifts and gourmet foods. The company currently operates twenty-nine stores: its flagship New York store, established in 1895 and currently located at 712 Fifth Avenue, and stores in Columbus (Ohio), Boca Raton, San Diego, Aventura (Florida), Troy (Michigan), Los Angeles, Dallas, Short Hills (New Jersey), Santa Clara (California), King of Prussia (Pennsylvania), Costa Mesa (California), Atlanta, Arlington (Virginia), Miami, Palm Beach Gardens, Tampa, Orlando, Chicago, Las Vegas (Fashion Show), Skokie (Illinois), Houston, Oak Brook (Illinois), Las Vegas (Forum Shops), Huntington Station (New York), Mall of America, Canoga Park (California), McLean (Virginia) and Cherry Hill (New Jersey). (wikipedia)

• • •

Not good. I see that there is, in a way, a "crack" in WISE … that has been filled with some letters. But it's less a crack than a full-scale break into two equal halves. I've seen this thing before a million times—FAST BREAK, maybe, or SPLIT ENDS or god knows what—and this one isn't done particularly well. Not particularly poorly, but not particularly well. Perhaps because I am a rube, I have never heard of SHUMAI or HENRI Bendel. Not being an "upscale" fashion consumer who TWEEZES and eats dim sum [wink], I was a bit lost at times in this definitely Not self-indulgent grid. Also had trouble with a bunch of stupid little abbreviations I can never remember, like GSA (Government … something something?) and OCS (Officer … something School?). Still can't figure out what 11D: Like a "Better active today than radioactive tomorrow" sentiment (ANTI-NUKE). The whole quote is being used adjectivally, which is awkward enough; then there's the fact that whatever slogan that is comes from before I was born. Also, I don't know what "active" means there. "Active" in the ANTI-NUKE protest scene? With that answer crossing unknown HENRI and abutting forgotten OCS, I had the most trouble by far in that corner. Rest of puzzle was pretty normal. No better or worse filled than most Tuesday grids, so far as I can tell.

Next!

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Jacob McDermott

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: BETWEEN YOU AND ME (34A: "Let this be our little secret"… with a hint to 18-, 23-, 50- or 54-Across) — theme answers are snippets of phrases that require YOU at the front and ME at the back in order to make sense:

Theme answers:

18A: "Don't put words in my mouth!" (SAID IT NOT)
23A: "I wasn't born yesterday!" (CAN'T FOOL)
50A: "Wanna start something'?" (TALKIN' TO)
54A: "Ooh, I'm shaking in my boots!" (DON'T SCARE)

Word of the Day: Stemwinder (27A: Gives a stemwinder = ORATES) —

n.
1. A stem-winding watch.
2. A rousing oration, especially a political one.
(thefreedictionary.com)

• • •

Concept it somewhat cute, though the result still involves gibberish in my grid. But since I can easily mentally supply the YOU and the ME needed to turn the gibberish into non-gibberish, I'm not that troubled. Using all quotations as clues is interesting, though it means that YOU TALKIN' TO ME gets a jarringly non-"Taxi Driver" clue. There is only one frame of reference for that phrase, and "Taxi Driver" is it.

Not a lot else to say about this puzzle. Fill is bland. The kind of fill you'd say in a puzzle filled entirely by hand, by someone without a ton of experience. Very serviceable, but very very over-the-plate. HOWDAH feels super-out-of-place here. Odd/exotic word in a sea of ordinariness. [Indy racer Luyendyk] remains my most hated crosswordese clue of all time, partly because I can never remember which random four-letter mostly-vowel combination his name is, partly because it's such horrid crutch fill, and partly (in this case) because the also-horrid -EROO is already in the puzzle, and there really should be a one-[-R--] limit per puzzle (where the dashes represent vowels). AROO EROO ARIE ERIE EREI etc. One. You get one.

My biggest problem today was just picking up the theme. Lost some time in the CAN'T FOOL region just trying to piece things together without yet knowing what the theme was all about. I also did not know or forgot what a "stemwinder" was, so could not pick up ORATES. The clue somehow makes "stemwinder" sound like a sex act, though that could just be my brain operating on a juvenile level (i.e. its default level).

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Alan Derkazarian

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging

THEME: 1 2 3 4— theme answers are theme answers that begin with "[number]-[noun]" compound adjective, e.g. "four-way"; each such adjective is represented by the [noun] appearing (rebus-style, in box by itself) as many times as the [number] indicates. Thus [WAY] [WAY] [WAY] [WAY] STOP for "four-way stop."

Theme answers:

18A: Casino sights ([ARMED] BANDITS)
24A: Small-time thieves ([BIT] [BIT] CROOKS)
54A: Con game ([CARD] [CARD] [CARD] MONTE)
62A: What an intersection may have ([WAY] [WAY] [WAY] [WAY] STOP)

Word of the Day: ERGOT (57D: Cereal killer) —

Ergot or ergot fungi refers to a group of fungi of the genus Claviceps. The most prominent member of this group isClaviceps purpurea ("rye ergot fungus"). This fungus grows on rye and related plants, and produces alkaloids that can cause ergotism in humans and other mammals who consume grains contaminated with its fruiting structure (called ergotsclerotium). Claviceps includes about 50 known species, mostly in the tropical regions. Economically significant species include C. purpurea (parasitic on grasses and cereals), C. fusiformis (on pearl millet, buffel grass), C. paspali(on dallis grass), and C. africana (on sorghum). C. purpurea most commonly affects outcrossing species such as rye(its most common host), as well as triticale, wheat and barley. It affects oats only rarely. (wikipedia)

• • •

I feel like I've seen this theme, or themes very much like it, before. Hard to pick up, but once picked up, pretty easy to solve (that is, if you can figure out the database-generated stuff like IKEBANA and OPORTO and ERGOT, at least one of which was probably tough if not outright new to many people) (I learned all three from crosswords, and couldn't remember the first one today for a good long while). Spent a lot of time getting nowhere in the NW—in retrospect, it's very clear why (the two BITs I had no hope of seeing early on). Then I got [ARMED] BANDITS and spent a good deal of time looking for other ARMs or body parts or something. Figured the conceit out after ramming my head against CARD CARD CARD for a while.

Lots of short gunk in this one sort of soured the whole experience. Uncovering the theme was a nice challenge, but otherwise it's a lot of FIVE-O this and INI that and RIATAS aplenty and whoever the hell SPANO is (6D: Joe of "NCIS"). Quite an OLIO of yuck. Ridiculous double cheater squares in SW/NE, but they are understandable given how hard those WAYs must've been to accommodate. A TOUCH OVER is an interesting improvisational answer, and RETURN FIRE has some spark. The crosses on the rebus squares are fairly skillfully handled.

I call complete B.S. on 4D: + 6 (TEN). At a minimum, you'd think there'd be a question mark, since the clue number is never (ever ever ever, except in certain rare, specially designed themes) a component of the clue itself. 4+6 = TEN? Am I even interpreting that right? Is there another scenario where "+ 6" means TEN? I don't think so. That is some miswit, right there. Also off: [One usually buys a round one] for TRIP. No. You don't buy a TRIP. You might buy a round-TRIP *ticket*. But the phrasing here is deathly. And again, no "?" Sloppy (or lazy, or surprisingly imprecise) editing.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Alan Arbesfeld

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: none

Word of the Day: RENÉ Clément (53D: Clément with two Oscar-winning films) —

René Clément (French pronunciation: [klemɑ̃]; March 18, 1913 – March 17, 1996) was a French film director and screenwriter. […] Clément studied architecture at the École des Beaux-Arts where he developed an interest in filmmaking. In 1936, he directed his first film, a 20 minute short written by and featuring Jacques Tati. Clément spent the latter part of the 1930s making documentaries in parts of the Middle East and Africa. In 1937, he and archaeologist Jules Barthou were in Yemen making preparations to film a documentary, the first ever of that country and one that includes the only known film image of Imam Yahya. // Almost ten years passed before Clément directed a feature but his French Resistance film, La Bataille du rail (1945), gained much critical and commercial success. From there Clément became one of his country's most successful and respected directors, garnering numerous awards including two films that won the Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film, the first in 1950 for The Walls of Malapaga (Au-delà des grilles) and the second time two years later for Forbidden Games (Jeux interdits). Clément had international success with several films but his star-studded 1966 epic Is Paris Burning?, written by Gore Vidal and Francis Ford Coppola and produced by Paul Graetz was a costly box office failure. (wikipedia)

• • •

Not on my wavelength at all. Felt very From-The-Past, as well as very Full-Of-RLSTNE. It's certainly competently put together, but just not that enjoyable for me. I think NO NOISE really tore it. What is that? How is that acceptable? What's next? [Darkness] = NO LIGHT. [Decapitation] = NO HEAD. That answer is about the most made-up non-thing I've ever seen in a puzzle. The long stuff across the top and bottom is all clean enough, and SCHNOOKS is certainly a colorful answer. But there's a preponderance of short junk (INF, RTS, KNT, SRO, OYE, BREA, TAMA, ETAS, ASDF, EFS, etc.) and just a hell of a lot of common letters. Top and bottom answers alone (DAR ES SALAAM / ESTATE SALES) are somewhat absurd in terms of how loaded they are w/ the most common letters in the alphabet. And then there's ERTES, and ARETES, and PRESSESON… there's just not enough flash here for a Friday. Two RE- words. Two -TO phrases. Three SEEs. Two BEITs. That's a lot of replication. The end product is just OK. Mediocrity plus dated feel made it a disappointing solve for me.

Initial wrong answers really held me back today. STAMEN for ANTHER (which, honestly, is a word I don't know—seen it, couldn't define it). Worse, in terms of consequences—GETAT for EATAT. Really should've gone with the more common EATAT, esp. given this puzzle's propensity for including the most common letters. Anyway, STAMEN and GET AT were enough to keep me stuck longer than I should've been in the north. I wandered all over the top half of this grid before I had any solid, sustained progress. Could think only of the phrase WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?, so DEAL was oddly slow in coming. [Pair of boxers?] is such a painful clue for ARF ARF, I don't even know where to start. Pair of ["words" that might be "said" by dogs, such as] boxers? Convoluted. But no matter. Bottom half proved way easier than the top. Finished over in ARF ARF land, somewhat (but not that much) slower than my typical Friday time.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Michael Ashley

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: none

Word of the Day: SAC (20A: Eastern Woodlands native) —

[From wikipedia entry for "Sauk People]: The Sacs or Sauks are a group of Native Americans of the Eastern Woodlands culture group. Their autonym isoθaakiiwaki, and their exonym is Ozaagii(-wag) in Ojibwe. The latter is the source of their names in French and English. (wikipedia)

• • •

Well it was all downhill from BUTT-DIALED (1A: Made a seat-of-the-pants error?), but it was still pretty good. Though it was going to be the easiest Saturday I've ever done, as I went from NW to SE with almost no resistance at all, but those other corners were much harder, so I ended up coming in fast but not super-fast. This one was easy to start because the 1- and 2-Down (BOTS, UNIT) were both gettable without crosses, setting up the initial BU- in BUTT-DIALED. The main problem here was coming out of that corner into the adjacent NE one. Everything broke down atSAC (20A: Eastern Woodlands native). I had SA- and couldn't imagine what kind of "native" fit the pattern. I thought maybe it was an animal, like a bird, but no letters seemed to fit. I *wanted* CONAN at 21D: TV show headed by a former writer for "S.N.L.," but SAC??? That's an anatomical structure, not a "native." I mean, look, I wouldn't have had any more luck with SAUK (never heard of this Native American tribe, ever), but SAC? People know that? Yikes. Also, what are VASTS (26D: Poetic expanses). I teach poetry—I have never taught of VASTS. VASTS have I encountered not. No VASTS encounterer, I. What the hell? Anyway, I eventually made my way into that corner via ENCOUNTERS (which were CLOSE at first, by the way), and despite JAW for GUM (11D: Where a canine sits?), managed to make the corner behave eventually.

Finished in the SW corner, where I had some friends (OLY, TROY), and some enemies (NANS!? DEBTEEEEEE?). Key to that corner was CAR DEALERS (28D: They use Blue Books), which ended up being a gimme off the CA-. I knew ENID BLYTON (29D: "The Wishing-Chair" series creator) from crosswords and from her depictions of golliwogs, a racist caricature I had never heard of until I looked into Blyton's work.

Enjoy your Saturday. See you tomorrow.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Alan Olschwang

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME:"Bye-lines"— famous closing-line catchphrases

Theme answers:

HIYO SILVER, AWAY!
THE BALCONY IS CLOSED
TH- TH- TH- TH- THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
SAY GOODNIGHT, GRACIE
AND MAY GOD BLESS

Word of the Day: ASAS (59A: Old camera settings, for short) —

Based on earlier research work by Loyd Ancile Jones (1884–1954) of Kodak and inspired by the systems of Weston film speed ratings and General Electric film values, the American Standards Association (now named ANSI) defined a new method to determine and specify film speeds of black-and-white negative films in 1943. ASA Z38.2.1-1943 was revised in 1946 and 1947 before the standard grew into ASA PH2.5-1954. Originally, ASA values were frequently referred to as American standard speed numbers or ASA exposure-index numbers. (See also: Exposure Index (EI).)
The ASA scale was arithmetic, that is, a film denoted as having a film speed of 200 ASA was twice as fast as a film with 100 ASA. (wikipedia)

• • •

It is comical how badly edited this puzzle is. Sure, we all enjoy these somewhat-to-very familiar catchphrases (even if there are Only Five Of Them), fine. But the fill!? Not just that, but the Absurd crossings. Honestly, I almost never encounter a completely blind cross (aka "Natick") any more, but I had Two today. Total guess at SABENA (1A: Former Belgian national airline) (!?!?!?! "bygone") / ENO (4D: 2005 Drama Pulitzer finalist Will) (!?!?! "finalist") and again, and worse, at EPATHA (49D: S. ___ Merkerson, four-time N.A.A.C.P. Image Award-winning actress) (!? x one million) / ASAS (59A: Old camera settings, for short) (uh… "old"). Indescribably bad fill crossed in ways that are laughably unfair. HA ha. I mean, I guessed right, but I could easily have guessed wrong, in multiple different ways, in both cases. And that's *knowing* ARIANE (2D: Massenet opera based on Greek myth), which … why would you know that? "Greek myth" *barely* helps. We know her as "Ariadne" if we know her at all. The problem with having good xword-making technology nowadays is that you can Really tell when the constructor doesn't use it. I gotta believe using Compiler (PC) or CrossFire (Mac) would've really, really helped iron the absolutely subpar junk out of this puzzle. Don't Be Afraid of Technology. Most constructors simply can't hang, nowadays, without it. It can't make your puzzles good, or smart, or funny, but it sure as hell can keep you from crossing EPATHA and ASAS, my god is that even real or am I still drunk? Wow.

So, theme was easy, fill somewhat less so. [Genus of small rodents], HA ha. That's an actual clue. The answer is MUS! What year is it? Did Will discover Maleska's Last Puzzle under some old books and just decide "oh what the hell? Run it!"? TBEAM!? Seriously, this stuff is making me laugh out loud now. I wrote in COSIN for COTAN, OENONE (?) for ARIANE, and CATTAILS for RATTAILS. I think that covers my major hiccups, anyway. Oh, UOMO for HOMO and IPODMINI for IPODNANO. That's all. Folks. Fingers crossed for a better tomorrow.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

P.S. I liked SURF CITY (9D: Nickname for Huntington Beach, Calif.). A lot.

Constructor: Elizabeth C. Gorski

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL— first words of three theme answers form this famous phrase coined by 18th-century English poet ALEXANDER POPE (56A: Author of the verse that starts with the beginnings of 20-, 34- and 42-Across)

Theme answers:

20A: Friendly comment after providing information (HOPE THAT HELPS)
34A: Goes "pop!," as a jack-in-the-box (SPRINGS OUT)
42A: Rome's nickname, with "the" (ETERNAL CITY)

Word of the Day: SPIKE JONES (29D: Quirky bandleader with the City Slickers) —

Lindley Armstrong "Spike" Jones (December 14, 1911 – May 1, 1965) was an American musician and bandleader specializing in performing satirical arrangements of popular songs. Ballads and classical works receiving the Jones treatment would be punctuated with gunshots, whistles, cowbells, and outlandish vocals. Through the 1940s and early 1950s, the band recorded under the title Spike Jones and his City Slickers and toured theUnited States and Canada under the title The Musical Depreciation Revue. (wikipedia)

• • •

Hope springs eternal in the human breast;

Man never is, but always to be blessed:

The soul, uneasy and confined from home,

Rests and expatiates in a life to come.

– Alexander Pope, An Essay on Man

"Hope springs eternal…" is the most famous phrase from Pope's "Essay on Man" (which is a poem, not an essay as we understand the term, but whatever). I also recall "The proper study of mankind is man" and "Lo, the poor Indian something something," but "Hope springs eternal" definitely wins, fame-wise. This is a cute, simple theme—no great "wow" moment, but it's Monday, so an "oh, hey, whaddya know?" moment seems perfectly acceptable. I cast a side glance or two at the fill (mainly when I encountered OPEL *after* having encountered OREL, which is a bit like encountering AFTA after having encountered ASTA, only worse somehow), but for the most part everything is solid. Long Downs give the puzzle added color and oomph—big ups to FLIP BOOK and SPIKE JONES in particular. I wanted B-SIDE instead of SIDE B and had a brief brain malfunction while trying to recall the word OXBOW, but other than that, everything just went right in. CREPE PAPER off the "C."CUPOLA off the "C."CLOCK off the "C."CEDE off the "C." You get the picture.

Quick and enjoyable. Thumbs up. Onward.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Mike Doran

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: IN 2D (67A: Lacking depth … or like 17-, 23-, 37-, 48- and 58-Across)— theme answers are two-word phrases where both words start with "D"

Theme answers:

17A: 1960s dissident (DRAFT DODGER)
23A: 1987 movie with the hit "Hungry Eyes" ("DIRTY DANCING")
37A: Smash-hit entertainment? (DEMOLITION DERBY)
48A: Fast-food chain with an orange and pink logo (DUNKIN' DONUTS)
58A: Jump-rope style (DOUBLE DUTCH)

Word of the Day: ROTA (53A: Series of golf courses that host the British Open) —

"Open rota" is the term applied to the rotation of golf courses that host the Open Championship. (about.com)

• • •

Nobody says "In 2D" except, perhaps, ironically. "I'm gonna go see 'My Dinner With Andre' in glorious 2D!" So the revealer is contrived and awkward. Also, a bra-size revealer is going to be soooo much better here. You'd have to ditch DOUBLE DUTCH, but surely there are other DD answers out there for you to use. Friend of mine suggested DDS would work as a revealer as well (interesting twist on the dental degree, which is a common crossword answer). Not a big fan of this revealer, as I've now made overly clear. Also, the crosswordese in this grid is kind of overwhelming. And then there's ROTA, from out of nowhere, an answer I've never heard of, and even had trouble looking up. Someone told me the constructor works in the golf world, but that's no excuse—for the answer, or for the severely uncommon and un-Tuesday clue (never been clued with reference to golf before, per cruciverb; more commonly [Film composer Nino]). Didn't slow me down, really, but yuck. And another thing—there are 3 Ds in DRAFT DODGER. If you're gonna do a puzzle like this, even though the key thing is the first letter on both words, you damn sure shouldn't have extra Ds lying around. Consistency! Polish! Something besides ROTA!

DEMOLITION DERBY is a lovely center answer. HERMIT CRAB, also cool. Don't care for most of the rest of it. Didn't have much trouble. Across Lite wouldn't accept the "2," so when I hit the Reveal button and that square was, indeed, a "2"… I was confused. Besides that, my only problem was writing in RIBBED for TABBED (46A: Like some schoolbook folders). No idea what prompted that.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Jean O'Conor

Relative difficulty: Easy

THEME: PESTO (61A: What you get when you blend the results of this puzzle's recipe instructions) — theme answers are instructions for making PESTO

Theme answers:

17A: Recipe instruction #1 (MINCE GARLIC)
22A: Recipe instruction #2 (GRATE PARMESAN)
33A: Recipe instruction #3 (CHOP BASIL LEAVES)
45A: Recipe instruction #4 (CRUSH PINE NUTS)
53A: Recipe instruction #5 (ADD OLIVE OIL)

Word of the Day: ANITA Diamant (37D: "The Red Tent" author Diamant) —

Anita Diamant (born June 27, 1951) is an American author of fiction and non-fiction books. She is best known for her novel,The Red Tent, a New York Times best seller. She has also written several guides for Jewish people, including The New Jewish Wedding and Living a Jewish Life. (wikipedia)

• • •

I'm less annoyed than I am tired. Tired of the onslaught of competent but dull and unambitious puzzles that the NYT is turning out this week. This is a well-meaning effort. It's a recipe. The revealer is … the thing that's being made. Sadly, but unsurprisingly, solving this was about as exciting as reading a PESTO recipe. So straightforward it hurts. ADD OLIVE OIL is weird since the other ingredients a. all involve transformative actions and b. have not yet been combined so technically there's nothing to ADD the OLIVE OIL to. But that's a nit. The bigger problem is the dullness. Also, the fill, which, Once Again, is manifestly, on its surface, obvious for all to see, subpar and crosswordese-laden. I don't really want to do a full list, but multiple OLEARYS, really? Since when? Is that in the song / legend? She has a husband? A family? It's just *her* cow, Mrs. O'LEARY'S cow. If there is a husband / family, who the hell knows that? Oh, look, my friend Amy pointed me to wikipedia, which reveals that Mrs. O'Leary "was married to Patrick O'Leary. The couple's son, James Patrick O'Leary, grew up to run a Chicago gambling hall." So the clue checks out, and yet it's still her damned cow. Hers. Not theirs.

We've also got ERB, OBE, ESTH, ALCAN, ENVIRO (?), MILORD, PIET, LAHR, etc. … only now that I look at it, that list (of xwordese and whatever ENVIRO is) is starting to feel average. Average for a NYT puzzle. A NIP!? Gah. Where is the joy? SPONGEBOB! That works. The rest is just a grind. Also, as a friend of mine just noted to me, re: 46D: Pizza cuts, essentially (RADII)—"that is wrong; nobody cuts a pizza that way." He's right. Birthday cake cuts, sure. Pizza, no.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Tom McCoy

Relative difficulty: Easy

THEME: self-referential — theme clues / answers refer to themselves:

Theme answers:

20A: Like 20-Across (PRONOUNCEABLE)
28A: Like 28-Across (UNHYPHENATED)
43A: Like 43-Across (TWELVE-LETTER)
52A: Like 52-Across (PENTASYLLABIC)

Word of the Day: KOMODO (25A: Island that's home to the world's largest lizard) —

Komodo is one of the 17,508 islands that compose the Republic of Indonesia. The island is particularly notable as the habitat of the Komodo dragon, the largest lizard on Earth, which is named for the island. Komodo Island has a surface area of 390 square kilometres and a human population of over two thousand. The people of the island are descendants of former convicts who were exiled to the island and who have mixed with Bugis from Sulawesi. The people are primarily adherents of Islam but there are also Christian and Hindu congregations. (wikipedia)

• • •

Easy. So easy that I didn't really fully comprehend the theme by the time I was through. I somehow imagined that the answers referred to the *clues* rather than the answers themselves. Why I thought this, after having gotten UNHYPHENATED, I don't know. "28-Across" is clearly hyphenated. Oh, I know—because "Like 43-Across" is, in fact, TWELVE-LETTER (as is the answer, TWELVE-LETTER). But then when I was done and counted out the syllables in "Like 52-Across" (6), I knew I was missing something. Took me all of a few seconds to realize what. I think this theme is clever, though a. it's a Wednesday theme, and b. PRONOUNCEABLE is just absurd. You can do better than that. Any word is PRONOUNCEABLE. Not Specific Enough. There is a smattering of crosswordese, but none of it is particularly offensive, and it's nicely unclumped (except maybe the AGAPE/AGORA and ERA / ERAT crossings). Favorite answers are VIDEO TAPE and, despite its ultra-common letters, TELL-ALL. Something about the combo of those two answers gives the puzzle a much-needed touch of titillation.

The only real trouble I had with this one came in and around PENTASYLLABIC (a word I couldn't parse until the Happy Pencil came up and I was like "???? … oh, it *is* a word). That SE corner was patchy and PENTASYLL- looked like FANTASY-something … gone wrong. Would've been done a good chunk of seconds faster had it not been for the (to my mind) terrible cluing on "LET GO!" (62A: "Gimme it!"). The "it" is my problem. You don't put the pronoun in there unless you've got some corresponding, parallel unit in the answer, which, in the case of "LET GO!," you do not have. The correct clue in this case is "Gimme!" (which is, of course, a contraction of "give it to me"—"it" included, if you really want the "it", which you shouldn't, for reasons I just explained). Precision!

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: David Woolf

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: none (unless you count SODIUM PENTOTHAL and THE TRUTH WILL OUT, which I don't)

Word of the Day: KARSTS (9A: Rough limestone regions with sinkholes and caverns) —

Karst topography is a geological formation shaped by the dissolution of a layer or layers of soluble bedrock, usuallycarbonate rock such as limestone or dolomite, but also in gypsum. It has also been documented for weathering-resistant rocks, such as quartzite, given the right conditions.
Subterranean drainage may limit surface water with few to no rivers or lakes. Many karst regions display distinctive surface features, with cenotes and sinkholes (also called dolines) being the most common. However, distinctive karst surface features may be completely absent where the soluble rock is mantled, such as by glacial debris, or confined by one or more superimposed non-soluble rock strata. Some karst regions include thousands of caves, although evidence of caves large enough for human exploration is not a required characteristic of karst.

• • •

Felt like the easiest Friday ever when both CASH BARS (1A: Their drinks are not on the house) and OSCAR WAO (15A: Novel title character with a "brief, wondrous life") went in right away, no hesitation. But once I got out of that corner, things settled down into a more Friday-like groove. Still felt pretty easy overall until the SW corner, where I spent over a minute … without, somehow, even looking at the clue for 50A: Olive ___ (OYL). How is it that I have been solving multiple crosswords every day for seven years (and occasionally solving for fifteen years before that) and can still forget to check a short answer in a corner I'm struggling with. Reading all the clues! Remedial! Ugh. Turns out all the answers I kept doubting were right (ON IT, THE TRUTH …, HOPE SO). It's just that COURTS was hidden in a vague clue and HOOTCH was hidden in a clever clue and HAPS was absurdly clued ("Unlucky accidents, old-style"?? Those are *mis*haps; HAPS just happen). Anyhoo… it all worked out once I decided to read all the clues. OYL solved everything. No problems anywhere else except for minor trepidation in the NE, where I knew neither KARSTS nor NIIHAU (16A: Hawaii's Forbidden Isle). They still both look like made-up words to me. But the crosses checked, so that was that.

Is TATARY (13D: Vast historical region controlled by the Mongols) different from Tartary? No. No it is not. Pretty sure the latter is preferred ("TATARY" will redirect you to "Tartary" at wikipedia). Seems like a "variant." See also PANGEA, which I know as "Pangaea," because that's what it is (45A: It broke up in the age of dinosaurs). Not that either TATARY or PANGEA slowed me down much. I spelled PENTOTHAL wrong the first time around (it's getting red-underlined by my computer even now, so perhaps the misspelling was understandable). I had PENTATHOL … which is *not* getting red-underlined. Wow. Confusing. MANCUSO was a ridiculous-name outlier (39D: Alpine skier Julia who won Olympic gold in 2006), but everything else felt at least reasonable. Enjoyable Friday fare.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: David Steinberg

Relative difficulty: Challenging

THEME: none

Word of the Day: REXALL (8D: ___ Place (Edmonton Oilers' arena)) —

Rexall was a chain of North American drugstores, and the name of their store-branded products. The stores, having roots in the federation of United Drug Stores starting in 1902, licensed the Rexall brand name to as many as 12,000 drug stores across the United States from 1920 to 1977. (The "Rex" in the name came from the common Rx abbreviation for drug prescriptions.)
Since 1985, it has been the name of over-the-counter drugs and drugstores in Canada operated by the Katz Group of Companies, and of health supplements in the United States. The Canadian Rexall brand is not related to the US operations. (wikipedia)

• • •

Well I finished with two errors, which almost never happens. I cannot remember the last time it happened. I finish with errors maybe two or three times a year, tops. I can handle failure, but it's awfully painful to have that failure occur at the dead-ugliest, worst-constructed part of the grid. As you can see (see grid), my wrong squares were between the N and the B in NLRB. NLRB (National Labor Relations Board) is not an agency I even knew about until crosswords, and it never, ever occurs to me. Any time I get it, it's through crosses. Today's crosses—hoo boy. Don't know what a REXALL is. It now sounds vaguely familiar (now that I've looked it up), but Edmonton Oilers? Who the hell knows? REXALT (my wrong answer) seemed reasonable to me. And PRS? I had to ask a friend what PRS were (i.e. I thought it was a plural, i.e. many PRs). Turns out it's the letters on the "7" key on a phone before cell phones (before there was a "Q"… not sure why cell phones can have "Q"s when "old" phones couldn't, but I don't care enough to look it up right now). So I went with PSS. Not because it made sense. But because I had NTSB at 29A: Strike-monitoring org. It didn't feel quite right, but what other org. starts "N" and ends "B" (he asked, naively)? I convinced myself that strikes might, in fact, relate to transportation safety, so NTSB / REXALT / PSS it was. I can't say the real answers look any better.

The rest of this was tough but decent. DEDE is DEDEsastrous. Just the worst thing ever please never use it again, everyone. And DREWU also sucks horribly dear god I hate it. ELEONORA is just made-up looking. [Name with a bunch of vowels] would've been just as helpful there. And aren't DOUBLE BEDs made for couples (15A: Tight squeeze for a couple?)? As opposed to a twin bed, say? I remember trying to sleep two to a twin bed in college—now *that* is a "tight squeeze."DOUBLE BED seems a reasonable choice for couples, so I'm confused on that one. But I quite liked the rest of it, especially the wickedly hard but fantastic-to-reveal ZAP COMIX (35D: Pioneering underground publication of the 1960s), the barely-remembered but super-looking AEON FLUX (37D: 1990s sci-fi series), and the fantastically-clued APPLE CARE (1A: Air protection program?) (I'm typing this on a MacBook Air). "I'M TOO SEXY" was also good, but way too much of a gimme for me (17A: 1992 chart-topper that mentions "my little turn on the catwalk").

Struggled everywhere. Actually, tore down the east side of the puzzle, but getting into the middle and west was rough for me. Had GALOSH for GAITER (48D: Boot covering), which slowed me down for a while. DADA for DEDE (duh duh). ALEYARD was very hard to come up with, and in general that SW corner was the toughest. I wouldn't be surprised if many people spun out there (as opposed to the weird place I spun out). Lots of names today, which also might've sunk people: VING, NATE DOGG, ANNA, ELON, CESAR, SOROS, ENRICO (?). I knew all but the last. [First name in fashion] = RALPH was vicious. Always expect a clue like that to be Italian or at least foreign and somehow chic. Not RALPH (Lauren). RALPH does not say "fashion." Not on its own. So that was a clever/hard clue. ROSLYN? No hope (23D: Long Island Rail Road station). Needed all crosses. Gotta live in NYC area to know that one, I'm guessing. Overall, an entertaining, if flawed, effort.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Constructor: Julian Lim

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME:"Vowel Play"— theme answers are two-word nonsense phrases that have all five vowels appearing in a row (broken across the two words)

Theme answers:

23A: Paintings of French estates? (CHATEAU OILS)
28A: Carrier for Casanovas? (ROUÉ AIRLINES)
52A: Aid for submarine séance? (UNDERSEA OUIJA)
82A: Hawaiian wine lover? (MAUI OENOPHILE)
103A: Last words from a coxswain? (ADIEU, OARSMAN)
112A: Garlicky sauce in central Europe? (PRAGUE AILOI)
40D: "Happily ever after" with Han Solo? (LEIA OUTCOME)
36D: All the writings of a Persian faith? (BAHAI OEUVRE)

Word of the Day: ANEAR (5D: Not far from, in poetry) —

anear [əˈnɪə] Archaic
prep
near
adv
nearly (thefreedictionary.com)

• • •

Painful. Starting with ANEAR, which made me wince, and ending with SOVS, which made me literally say, out loud, "Oh, come on!" And then there was the in-between—a theme with nonsense phrases. Theme was not nearly good enough to support the generally bad quality of the fill. AWS? Gah. Nevermind the run-of-the-mill crosswordese, which abounds. The fill was just lousy. STEP TURN (70A: Skiing maneuver at bend in course) is vaguely interesting. THE SOPRANOS down the middle is pretty cool (and nice clue on that one, too) (38D: Hit show with many hits). But I spent most of this one with a grimace on my face. LEIA OUTCOME cannot be redeemed by any clue. Why in the world is "Happily ever after" in quotation marks in that clue? No one said that. Hyphenate the damn thing if you want to use it as a concept. Also, it's Mac vs. PC, not MACS vs. PCS (1D: One side in a computer rivalry). POST-GAME (59A: When scores are settled?) is a time when players do interviews. "Scores" are "settled" the moment the game is over. POST-GAME is the time *after* that. What the hell is it with the NYT's sports cluing? God-awful. Chopsticks come in pairs, not TWOS. Yes, there is a difference. [Hole in the wall] for VENT makes about as much sense as [Hole in the wall] for DOOR. ERICA Durance?????????? (98D: Actress Durance who played Lois Lane on "Smallville"). Laughable. Is that an attempt to toughen this thing up? I watched "Smallville" for like five seasons and had no idea what that actress's name was.

Clever and good beats cutesy, affected and nuts. Why is this so hard to grasp? The mail I've been getting lately supports my general contention that the NYT is in a prolonged funk. I won't call it a tailspin. Yet. But it does feel like there's a long, slow slide afoot. ABEAT. ANEAR.

Gotta go watch "National Lampoon's Vacation" with my family now. See you tomorrow.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

PS a little birdie alerted me to the pre-existence of this theme—see here.

Constructor: Edgar Fontaine

Relative difficulty: Challenging (3:26, which is très high for me)

THEME: Add an apostrophe S and turn a celebrity's name into a possessive phrase in which the celebrity's first name is imagined as the last name of some different celebrity or some nonsense like that that could've gone on forever but mercifully didn't

Theme answers:

20A: Part of a bushel belonging to Dick? (GREGORY'S PECK)
34A: Car belonging to Rex? (HARRISON'S FORD)
41A: Lite beer belonging to Bea? (ARTHUR'S MILLER)
55A: Rock belonging to Ariel? (SHARON'S STONE)

Word of the Day: AMOUR-PROPRE (26D: Self-esteem, as the French would have it) —

Amour-propre (French, "self-love") is a concept in the philosophy of Jean-Jacques Rousseau that denotes a self-love that depends upon the opinion of others. Rousseau contrasts it with amour de soi, which also means "self-love", but which does not involve seeing oneself as others see one. According to Rousseau, amour de soi is more primitive and is compatible with wholeness and happiness, while amour-propre arose only with the appearance of society and renders human beings incapable of being happy within society. (wikipedia)

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You can see how bad this is, so I'm not going to waste my breath (much). As a friend of mine just noted, the "false-possessive" is a hackneyed theme. I would add that this particular theme goes beyond merely hackneyed into the realm of the ridiculously simplistic. The theme could theoretically go on forever and (this is important) still Never Be Funny / Clever / Interesting. You're adding "'S" why? To what end? Who knows? The pronunciation change involved in 55A—who *$&%ing cares? Go for it! Clearly all standards of consistency, cleverness, polish, etc. are out the window, so go ahead, trash the place. I realize that I have been disliking a lot of puzzles lately, but please understand that it is not without a Ton of consultation with other people, mostly constructors, all much more discerning than I. I'm not going to come out here and say the puzzle is increasingly terrible—or, at minimum, well below what should be the standards of the NYT—without making sure others are seeing what I'm seeing. And they are. In spades. Oh, and we haven't even gotten to EYEPIT, which … really? And then the inexcusably lazy fill. Your LESSEES, your UTAHANS, your RATA TATA INST OPER etc. On a Monday? With a decidedly non-demanding theme? I'm going to continue assuming that this is just some prolonged bad patch, a funk from which the NYT crossword puzzle will eventually, at least partially, emerge. But right now, things look dire.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go wash out my EYEPITs.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Savory deep-fried pastry / WED 10-30-13 / Battling Bella of 70s politics / Prince Igor composer / 1988 Salt-N-Pepa hit / Thick sweet liqueur / Pizzeria owner in Do Right Thing

Second-largest city in Ark / THU 10-31-13 / Shetland islands sight / Acupressure technique / Comic strip infant / Nickname for 2012 presidential candidate

Italian actress Eleonora / FRI 11-1-13 / Pre-WWI in automotive history / Fiacre to taxi drivers / Croupier's stick material / Tourist attraction on Texas Pedernales River / Isaac Bashevis Singer settings / Champagne for one sleuth / Arcade game prize grabber / Classic kitschy wall hanging

Guilt Trip actress Graynor / SAT 11-2-13 / One may be played by geisha / Game in which lowest card is 7 / Austrian conductor Karl / Scandinavia's oldest university / 2002 Cesar winner for Best Film / They were labeled Breakfast Dinner Supper

Rapper with 2013 #1 album Born Sinner / SUN 11-3-13 / Politico Kefauver / Jet Ski competitor / Greek goddess of witchcraft / Fourth-longest river of Europe / Legendary Scottish swimmer / French colony until 1953

To Helen

Mir Bist Du Schon 1938 hit / MON 11-4-13 / Eponym of city now known as Istanbul / Camp classic by Weather Girls / Alpo alternative /

Bendel of fashion / TUE 11-5-13 / Journalist Skeeter of Harry Potter books / Yale whale players / Fed procurement overseer / Like better active today than radioactive tomorrow sentiment / Historical subject for Gore Vidal

Elephant rider's seat / WED 11-6-13 / Tammany tiger creator / Indy racer Luyendyk / Japanese police dogs / Gives a stemwinder

Japanese flower-arranging art / THU 11-7-13 / Cereal killer / Joe of NCIS / Parthian predecessor / You in you caught my eye in 1965 #1 hit / Willingly old-style

Ximenez dessert sherry / FRI 11-8-13 / Kalahari Desert dweller / African city whose name means haven of peace / Eatery where Tony Award was born / California city near Fullerton / Opening line of 1966 #1 Beatles hit / Clement with two Oscar-winning films

Classic Northwest brewski / SAT 11-9-13 / Wishing Chair series creator / Eastern Woodlands native / Tandoori-baked fare / Breastplate of Athena / Nootropics more familiarly / Hognose snake / Cry frequently made with jazz hands

Quirky bandleader with City Slickers / MON 11-11-13 / U-shaped bend in river / Shakespeare in Park founder/producer Joseph / Domelike top / Volleyball star Gabrielle

Series of golf courses that host the British Open / TUE 11-12-13 / 1987 movie with hit Hungry Eyes / Boxer Roberto with hands of stone / Mathlete stereotypically

Green in product names / WED 11-13-13 / Company founded by 17-year-old Swede / Cowardly Lion portrayer / Foofaraw

Officemate of Don Peggy on Mad Men / THU 11-14-13 / Ersatz cocoa / Eponymic Dutch city / Pat Nixon's given name / Island that's home to world's largest lizard

Alpine skier Julia who won Olympic gold in 2006 / FRI 11-15-13 / Novel title character with brief wondrous life / Rough limestone regions with sinkholes caverns / Whose eyes Puck squeezes magical juice on / Good hand holding in Omaha Hi-Lo / Powerful Hindu deities

Early tragedienne Duse / SAT 11-16-13 / G-Funk Classics rapper / Spartan gathering place / Long slender glass for drinking beer / Pioneering underground publication of 1960s / Evian competitor / Norwegian Romanticist / Italian P.M. Letta /

Actress Durance who played Lois Lane on Smallville / SUN 11-17-13 / Narcissus Goldmund author / 2004 movie set in 2035 / Stan Lee's role in many a Marvel film / Dish Network competitor / Javert's portrayer in 2012's Les Miserables / Skiing maneuver at bend in course

Self-esteem as French would have it / MON 11-18-13 / Facial socket / Milo of Verdict / Center square of bingo card / Sea body of water south of Italy / Charles Lamb's pen name