Famed art patron Henry / WED 3-13-24 / Listing near a museum door, perhaps / N.B.A. great nicknamed "Diesel" / "O" in W.W. II radio lingo / Jeff Bridges's "Big Lebowski" stoner role, familiarly / Overhead features on sports cars / Literary character who cries "You're glumping the pond where the Humming-Fish hummed!" / Manhattan hoops venue, in brief

• • •

And then AGAPE in that same small corner? Nah. I don't have patience for a simple grid that is not filled more cleanly than that. Archaic song title partial + oldschool crosswordese + archaic quaint adjective ... you gotta try harder. A lot harder. This feels almost autofilled. The theme concept is fine, but it's Monday-level and ultimately kind of dull. I guess it's timely, in that March Madness starts later this month, but March Madness is frequently exciting and this ... was never that. The most "exciting" part was probably the (for me) never-not-an-adventure experience of trying to spell CHIWETEL EJIOFOR correctly. In fact, that's probably the one answer that definitively turns this would-be Monday puzzle into a Wednesday. I still think the cluing should've been eased up a little and this should've run on a Tuesday, at the latest, but shrug, it is what it is, and what it is is mainly a shrug. Disappointingly flat, for sure.

The puzzle appears to be "toughened" up, made Wednesday-worthy, but some truly awkward and occasionally inscrutable cluing. The DUO clue was bizarre (26A: What's needed for a "Who's on First?" routine), in that I just assume that the people doing the routine need something, not that ... the people themselves are needed. Also, I think one person could probably do both sides of that routine if they really wanted to, in which case you wouldn't really need a DUO at all. I also did not get the DONOR clue at all (33A: Listing near a museum door, perhaps), since "listing" made me think of a list (of multiple names?), and "museum door" evoked absolutely nothing for me. Like ... the front door? The door to a specific exhibit? The bathroom door? "Near a museum door" couldn't be more No Place if it tried. The whole museum feels like it's theoretically "near a museum door." The clue on SEA also doesn't work (44A: Whatever floats your boat!). It's trying for cute wordplay, but the clue says "Whatever" floats my boat, and the SEA is not "Whatever." It's a specific thing. Other bodies of water float boats, so the clue is invalid on its face. "Whatever," my eye. I didn't love [Web attachments?] for INSECTS, either—seemed a grim way to be wacky—but at least that one works on its surface (INSECTS do become "attached" to spiders'"webs"). ["Why are you in such a rush?"] completely fails to capture the tone and tenor of "SO SOON?" first by being a complete sentence (when "SO SOON?" is not), and then by being so painfully literal-minded and prying. There's no demand for an explanation in "SO SOON?" Also, "What are you in such a rush?" has no conversational bounce to it. Sounds like the interrogator is annoyed. Also, just because someone has to leave doesn't mean they're in a "rush." There's a reason "SO SOON?" (19 Shortz-Era appearances!) is overwhelmingly clued as ["Already?"] or ["Leaving already?"]. Those are spot-on. This clue, in trying to be "original" (I guess), just gums things up.

RARED? (53D: Stood on hind legs, with "up") RARED!? I refer you back to the first sentences of this write-up. I just can't believe the fill is so weak throughout. And isn't "RARED" just a folksy term for "reared"? Here's me searching [define rared]

Despite some sloggy cluing, there weren't any significant trouble spots today. Wrote in MIXED MESSAGES for that first themer (23A: "When the going gets tough, the early bird gets the worm?," e.g.) (a terrible example of MIXED METAPHOR, btw—the metaphor is supposed to be merely "mixed," not "intentionally and implausibly butchered for extremely low-level comedic effect"). I had some trouble getting G-FORCE (49D: Sensation on a roller coaster). Had the "G" and wanted a word that started with "G," as one might. Never considered the "G" might be a standalone letter. But none of these struggles were true struggles. Merely snags that I hit (32D), and then got past relatively quickly. Really hoping for a saucy Thursday puzzle tomorrow. Something with a little life in it, even if it ends up driving me nuts. Fingers crossed. See you then.