Pioneer in the field of exobiology / FRI 12-8-23 / Middle of Middlesex / Famous bridge site / Question suggesting "What odd behavior!" / Jazz sobriquet / 1977 best-selling novel set in a hospital

The Rialto Bridge (Italian: Ponte di Rialto; Venetian: Ponte de Rialto) is the oldest of the four bridges spanning the Grand Canal in Venice, Italy. Connecting the sestieri (districts) of San Marco and San Polo, it has been rebuilt several times since its first construction as a pontoon bridge in 1173, and is now a significant tourist attraction in the city. [...] The present stone bridge, a single span designed by Antonio da Ponte, began to be constructed in 1588 and was completed in 1591. It is similar to the wooden bridge it succeeded. Two ramps lead up to a central portico. On either side of the portico, the covered ramps carry rows of shops. The engineering of the bridge was considered so audacious that architect Vincenzo Scamozzi predicted future ruin. The bridge has defied its critics to become one of the architectural icons, and top tourist attractions, in Venice. (wikipedia)

The grid is interesting-looking, I'll give it that. Looks like it has ... all the symmetries? 180-degree rotational, 90-degree rotational, mirror (along all axes) ... it's basically shaped like a golf ball. Or any ball, I suppose, but something about its whiteness and pockmarkedness suggests golf to me. Two golf clues in the grid also suggest golf (20D: Ones helping players get a round? => CADDIES; 18A: Areas to practice driving skills => RANGES). It would be impossible for me to care less about golf. But the golfiness didn't bother me, and maybe it appealed to some of you, who knows, you folks are weird. I liked that the grid had a novel shape, but not one of those novelty shapes that look interesting but result in ugly fill or a cruddy solving experience (see the Great HH Disaster of 2023, earlier this week). In fact, the shape of this one ended up giving the solve a semi-whooshy feeling—you could really only whoosh around the perimeter, but you could whoosh *all* the way around the perimeter, as long 3-stack led into long 3-stack four times, for a full lap around the puzzle. The center played like its own separate puzzle, a little sequestered bit that was a tad harder than the rest of the grid, but only a tad. 

As for those long answers around the perimeter, I had two really strong negative reactions. The first to "NO APOLOGIES," which does not (at all) sound like anything I can imagine anyone saying, as clued (12D: "Stop complaining. I didn't do anything wrong"). "Stop complaining" is in the imperative (command) voice, and there is nothing about the answer that is a command. It seems to be a shortening of "(I make) NO APOLOGIES," which, yes, is roughly equivalent to "I didn't do anything wrong," but the way the clue was elongated really muffed things up. I think people these days are more like to say / write "NOT SORRY" or even more likely "SORRY NOT SORRY." The cluing here today just clanked. And oof, do I hate the whole concept of SENIOR MOMENTS. There's something so cloying and cutesy and euphemistic and condescending about it. I've hated it from the first time I heard it, and I only hate it more as I age. Most of what gets called SENIOR MOMENTS is actually dumb forgetful stuff *everybody* does, it's just that when you're 30 you don't ascribe the "moment" to encroaching brain fall-apart. I mean, here's the National Institute on Aging:

"Occasionally misplace things or forget to pay a bill"!!?!?! Apparently I have had age-related memory problems my whole life! Sigh. Anyway, the clue on SENIOR MOMENTS is total garbage today. How in the world are they *caused* by "old memories" (50A: What old memories often cause)? Am I having a senior moment, because ... that makes no sense. I thought SENIOR MOMENTS were episodes of forgetfulness (Yes, "temporary mental lapse," acc. to one online dictionary). But "old memories" are the ones that come most easily to older people. (I guess your memory itself, ie your capacity to remember, could be what is old, but that is grammatically tortured—truly awful). So aside from just hating SENIOR MOMENTS as a term, I hated its clue today. Way off the mark. I do kinda like SENIOR MOMENTS in a golf-themed puzzle, though. Lots of seniors spend their moments on golf courses, for sure. (If you want to hear a delightful senior talk about all the great moments of her life, including her current crossword and Wordle routine, please listen to the truly inspiring interview that Julia Louis-Dreyfus did with Carol Burnett earlier this year on her "Wiser Than Me" podcast; I promise you won't be sorry) (oh, look, here's the whole thing on YouTube!)

But there were definitely "moments" that I liked in this one, starting with "WHO DOES THAT!?" (10A: Question suggesting "What odd behavior!") which was actually the answer that opened things up for me. It's the first long Across I was able to infer from the measly number of short Downs I had in place. I had MESA ESTD NTH ... but also VOW at 3D: Utterance with one's hand on a Bible, maybe ("I DO"). I didn't know people were "sworn in" to marriage like that [jk I know it’s the “whole truth and nothing but the truth” bit]. Interesting. Anyway, "WHO DOES THAT!?" helped me blow VOW away and replace it with "I DO," and I was pretty much off to the races after that. Ironically, the races were impeded by HORSEY (again with the cloying cutesiness, bah). But then the races were back on with The BRICKYARD. Zoom zoom. Loved TURNED HEADS and SEED BANKS down below, NARROWS THE GAP above, and most everything else in the grid seems at least solid. I wanna like "WANNA MAKE A BET?," but the truth is anyone who is apt to say "wanna" is also apt to shorten this phrase to "WANNA BET?" I don't mind the version we get here, but it felt a little unnaturally elongated. 

Perhaps because the puzzle is built in a way that makes quick solving more likely, the clues felt *very* amped up today, in terms of how hard they seemed to be trying to misdirect you. "Driving skills" are for golf, not cars. [Middle of Middlesex] is not a location (or letters in the "middle" of the word "Middlesex"), but a synonym for "Middle," as it would be spelled in Middlesex (CENTRE). [Broke] means not "caused not to work" or "lacking money" but TAMED. [Words that guide] does not lead to multiple words, but just one word: CREED. "Drawers" and "chests" both get the misdirection treatment at 11D: Drawers on chests, maybe (TATTOO ARTISTS). Then you've got the pair of clothing-related misdirections at 38D: What's going on? (ATTIRE) and 39D: Barely run (STREAK). Clothes on, clothes off, misdirection everywhere. I don't think any of this misdirection is likely to flummox a solver for too long, which will likely make it more enjoyable than annoying. The only proper noun in this thing that's likely to make some solvers draw a blank is KLAY Thompson (31A: Five-time N.B.A. All-Star Thompson), or maybe (if you're younger) COMA (27A: 1977 best-selling novel set in a hospital). Strangely, those two answers sit one on top of the other, but still, with fair crosses all around, I doubt they're gonna wreck any perfect grids today. Only the unusual "K" spelling of KLAY is going to be hard to infer, and BRICKYARD should get that "K" for you no problem. Oh, wait, SATCHMO! (19D: Jazz sobriquet). It's possible that that "sobriquet" (for Louis Armstrong) was unfamiliar to some solvers, esp. younger ones. If so, you should fix that unfamiliarity right now.

All in all, more enjoyable than not today. See you tomorrow.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld 

P.S. please enjoy this picture of a cat judging me

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