Mr. Wednesday's true identity in Neil Gaiman's "American Gods" / SUN 5-28-23 / Request for one-on-one time in the "Bachelor" TV franchise / Titular character portrayed by Jason Sudeikis / Mexican garments as they're spelled in Mexico / Equipped as a factory for production / Newspaper debut of 9/15/82 / They're found beneath sink holes

• • •

... looked at the title of the puzzle, and thought, "That's it? We're just dropping 'U's? Oh, man... This is gonna be a long solve." And then things got kinda worse when I got to the revealer, since I don't find anything interesting or even remotely charming about "The Bachelor" (which members of my family have made me watch on various summer vacations), and don't give a damn about any of its rituals. Like, I know there is a "Rose Ceremony" (I think), and that is all I know—except for all the relationship clichés and fake "love" baloney. It's weird to me that "CAN I STEAL YOU FOR A SECOND?" is a catchphrase since it's just ... a phrase. That anyone might use. Anyway, this puzzle forced me to think about "The Bachelor," so Strike Two. But then I (finally) got to the second part of the theme—that is, the answers that actually "stole" the "U"s. I thought they'd merely been dropped, but no, they just got "stolen" by adjacent answers. Double your wackiness letter-drop / letter-add fun. Twice the Type Of Puzzle I Don't Really Care For! But at least the theme was not just a drop-a-letter now, so, points for complexity, and ... no longer Strike Two, I guess. Strike One? Ball Three? I dunno, the baseball metaphor falls apart at his point.

I was hoping that the "Second" part of the revealer phrase ("CAN I BORROW YOU FOR A SECOND?") was going to have some kind of meaning. Like, maybe the "U" would always appear in the "second" position in its new answer. But no, that isn't it. I guess if you're being generous you could say that "FOR A SECOND" means "FOR A SECOND theme answer that follows the theme answer from which the 'U' has been stolen." Maybe that was the intended meaning? Maybe I'm making that up? Maybe there's some third interpretation I'm not seeing? Anyway, this kind of theme lives or dies on the wackiness of the results, and these just don't get there. The last pair is the only good pair: THIS OLD HOSE and PANTY HOUSE are at least plausibly smile-inducing. The rest ... work, but with far less amusing results. 

Fill-wise, there were rough spots for sure. I've got angry green circles around the whole PTRAPS / PAC / ASAMI area, largely because ASAMI is the worst and PTRAPS has a really tortured clue on it (tortured in an attempt at misdirection—the worst kind of torture) (58A: They're found beneath sink holes). Who has ever called the drain in their sink a "sink hole"? Pfft. The IODIDE area was also rough for me. I don't really know what an IODIDE is, so there's that. And it crossed a very weird EDU clue (13D: Northwestern follower) (I wanted -ERS) and a very badly clued IDIOTIC (11D: Half-baked).IDIOTIC is way, way, way more strongly negative a term than "half-baked.""Half-baked" implies that maybe it makes sense at first blush, whereas IDIOTIC implies thoroughgoing implausibility and stupidity. Biggest trouble spot for me was everywhere around DONUT DESPAIR, since I wanted to the "Boston cream" in the clue to have something to do with PIES, which is what I initially wrote at the end of the answer. The clues in here were also very hard for me. I know nothing about "American Gods," so everything about that clue and answer, shrug (I guess ODIN is a god, so maybe "Gods" was supposed to be a hint???) (89D: Mr. Wednesday's true identity in Neil Gaiman's "American Gods"). FRENEMY (a good answer) was hard to see. TOOLED UP (???), no way. I just inferred the UP part eventually (62D: Equipped, as a factory for production). And then there was ORGY, the last thing I wrote in—totally inscrutable to me, with that clue (89A: Bodily function?). As "?" clues go, I think it's fine. Just couldn't get hold of it. Aside from the "I'M HIP" / "I'M HEP" kealoa*, I had no other issues. (Apparently I'M HEP has only appeared once, in 2010, so I should probably be slightly more confident in guessing "I'M HIP" next time) (this is the 18th appearance of "I'M HIP" in the Shortz Era).

I forgot to mention one significant flaw in theme execution—at least it's a flaw in my eyes. In a "U"-based theme, where the dropping and adding of "U"s for comic effect is the entire point, there really shouldn't be Any Other "U"s involved in those theme answers. Clear the deck so that the "U"s can do their job without superflUous "U" distraction. But SUIT UP FRONT, woof. WOOF. Aside from being just a limp answer (both as a base answer ("sit up front") and as a wacky answer, it's got that dang extra "U" in there, mucking things up. Note how none of the other themers have this issue. And then note how they are better for it. OK, let's see, anything else need explaining? I got very very flummoxed by 15A: Tap alternative (PSST!). Really wanted "sparkling" or "bottled" ... or else something beer-related. And then I wanted something dance related. Just brutal, that one ("tap" here is a physical "tap" on the shoulder, an attention-getting "tap"). No idea what SHOGI is (16D: Board game popular in Japan), so you can just look that one up if you want it explained (it's a chess-like game). The [Titular character portrayed by Jason Sudeikis] is actually TEDLasso, so the clue is weird to me (usually full name in clue = full name in answer). Never in my life heard the expression ["Show it here!"]. "Give it here!" sure, of course, yes. But "Show it here!," never. So "LEMME SEE" wasn't exactly hard, but the clue definitely felt awkward. An ANT is a [Six foot-runner]s because it has ... six feet. I wanted EMU (which is roughly six feet tall, and runs ... or so crosswords have told me). I think that's it for today. Enjoy your Memorial Day Weekend if you got one! See you later.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld 

P.S. I think my family member actually made me watch "The Bachelorette." Same difference, I'm guessing.

*kealoa = a pair of words (normally short, common answers) that can be clued identically and that share at least one letter in common (in the same position). These are answers you can't just fill in quickly because two or more answers are viable, Even With One or More Letters In Place. From the classic [Mauna ___] KEA/LOA conundrum. See also, e.g. [Heaps] ATON/ALOT, ["Git!"] "SHOO"/"SCAT," etc. 

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