Constructor: Jeff Kremer
Relative difficulty: Medium
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THEME: Garage Sale Pitches — sales pitch phrases clued as if they referred literally and specifically to items you might buy at a garage sale:
Theme answers:
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Wow, this theme has no idea what it's doing. All over the map. Just spraying bullets. First, well, these are advertised as "pitches" but only some of them are. "DOORBUSTER DEAL" is not a "pitch," it's a concept. You might use it in advertising, but it's not a thing a salesperson would say, and it's especially not something you'd say at a "garage sale," where for starters there is no "door" to speak of except maybe a garage door but ... anyway, it's just wrong. Contextually wrong. Speaking of things you wouldn't say at a garage sale (ever, and I mean ever): "BUY NOW, PAY LATER!" You've solved enough puzzles to know that the only phrase associated with garage sale wares is AS IS. The idea that you could pay on the installment plan, what? Further, the clue on "BUY NOW, PAY LATER!" is so awkward that I honestly didn't understand how it was supposed to "work." I asked Twitter and immediately got two *different* answers, so people are going to be misconstruing (or variously construing) that one all over the world, all day long, clearly. I think the idea is that the wallet has card slots where *credit* cards go, and that by buying this *magical* wallet, you can ... use your credit cards to ... purchase things ... on credit? Why the *number* of card slots would affect this, I don't know. "Buy this wallet and use your credit cards like you normally would!" is a hell of a pitch. What else? Oh, "DROP EVERYTHING!" has absolutely no relation to garage or any other kind of sales. It's just hanging out here like "hey, a phrase party cool," and the other phrases know he wasn't really invited but they really don't want to ask him to leave because then it would be a whole Thing so *here he is*, just lounging around the garage sale, no one knows why. "CAN'T TURN THAT DOWN!" has nowhere near the iconic, stand-alone phrase status that you need for a theme like this. "NO STRINGS ATTACHED!"—that's solid! A phrase we all recognize. Hear it all the time. "CAN'T TURN THAT DOWN!" cannot say the same. They have to be solid, real, plausible sales pitch phrases before you wackify them. Otherwise it's all just nonsense. Chaos. A MESS.
Do you know how awful AGE TEN is? Do you? How about BLENDE? (122A: Name for zinc sulfide that is one letter short of a kitchen appliance). LOL, BLENDE!? It's funny just typing it. Also, who can forget the timeless saying, "NO NEWS is good"? (96D: It's good, in a saying). Mwah. Nailed it. Moving on: LAMED!? (73D: Hebrew letter between kaf and mem) So I have to know the whooooollllle damned Hebrew alphabet now? KAF? MEM? Never seen those, for instance, but LAMED is fine? I get that you are trying to steer away from the yucky verb there, but how about just steer away from that specific 5-letter combination altogether? Yeeeeee-ikes and Yeesh. RESANG, again, hard LOL. Do you really, truly imagine that anyone, even his family, wants to remember the "acting F.B.I. director after James Comey was fired"?? Or any "acting F.B.I. director"? or any "acting" anything? or James Comey at all under any circumstances!?!? There are times when a puzzle is simply not *my* idea of a good time, and then (today, for instance) there are the times where I truly don't understand *whose* idea of a good time this can possibly be. AGE TEN!!? So it's just AGE ANY NUMBER now? Those low digits I was maybe kinda sorta willing to let you have, but double digits!? No. Permission denied. Now I'm laughing again because I re-ESPY'd BLENDE. And Lloyd BENTSEN!? We're just going full-on bygone bizarro politics now, I guess. "Dukakis and Comey, people will love remembering those guys!?" (Me: "GOD, NO").
Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld
Relative difficulty: Medium
Theme answers:
- "CAN'T TURN THAT DOWN!" (23A: "TV, volume knob broken, only $10!") (you can't turn it down because the knob is broken)
- "DROP EVERYTHING!" (43A: "Baseball mitt, has a small hole, just $1!") (you will drop everything you try to catch with this holey mitt)
- "NO STRINGS ATTACHED!" (68A: "Guitar, never used, $15!") (this one makes no sense—a never used guitar would still have strings ... but whatever, just roll with it)
- "LIMITED EDITION!" (91A: "Textbook, a few pages torn out, $2!") (you can't read the whole edition because of the missing pages, so it's a limited edition)
- "ROCK-BOTTOM PRICES!" (114A: "Two fish tanks, accessories included, $5!") (the rock bottom comes with the tank, as does the deep-sea diver and the grotto with the treasure chest, probably)
- DOOR-BUSTER DEAL (16D: "Prop ax used in 'The Shining,' a valuable collectors' item, $200") (a deal on a literal door-buster) (that ax sold for £170,000 at auction two years ago, btw)
- "BUY NOW, PAY LATER" (51D: "Wallet, in good condition, plenty of card slots, $5!") (er ... uh ... see below)
Ari Aster (born July 15, 1986) is an American film director and screenwriter known for Hereditary (2018) and Midsommar (2019). (wikipedia)
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No idea PATÉS were things that went on banh mi. I've had banh mi several times, but that topping option must've just missed me. Also no idea who ARI Aster is, but I think that's it in the Proper Noun Mystery Department today. Oh, "NARCOS," that took some doing (99D: Netflix crime drama starring Pedro Pascal). That whole corner was a little rough for me, since IT'S A PLANE had an awkward and ineffectual "?" clue on it (105A: Super wrong identification?), and I wanted RAZE (or RASE?) for 123A: Demolish (ROUT). Throw in my not watching or knowing the star of "NARCOS," and you've got a bit of a hairy situation, but YEASTY got me out of it OK. Terrible vague clue on IMPORTS (92D: Some beers), doubly terrible because it's doing that thing where it thinks it's being clever by copying the clue for another answer, for which it is actually appropriate (72D: Some beers = ALES). Had ASAMI before ASDOI because yes KEA LOA, ATON ALOT, even some letters in place, who the hell knows?
I am very happy to announce that the American Values Club Crossword (AVCX), already the best indie subscription puzzle in existence, is now expanding to something close to a DAILY (!), with six or so puzzle offerings a week: themed and themeless crosswords, variety puzzles, cryptics, mini- and midi-puzzles, and a trivia game. This is a big move, a huge flex, involving four (!) new editorial teams. The talent pool is deep and wide, and includes some of my very favorite puzzle-makers, including Francis Heaney, Aimee Lucido, Brooke Husic, Christopher Adams, and more. The puzzles are gonna rule, the different editorial perspectives are gonna allow for all kinds of innovation and experimentation, and puzzle-makers will be paid *fairly*, far more in keeping with the money they generate than at any other outlet I know of. Here's the most relevant paragraph from the Kickstarter page:
AVCX has corralled four new, independently governed editing teams to deliver four new weekly features: one additional regular crossword (with an emphasis on themeless puzzles), one cryptic crossword, one or two midis (between 9x9 and 11x11), and a trivia game each weekend. These features will all be solvable on our new website interface (as well as via emailed files).
Seriously, this is the most ambitious move yet from an indie outlet, and I'm excited to see where it goes. Get on board! And while you're at it, why not give the puzzle-lover in your life not named "you" a subscription too? Go here to get all the details, and then subscribe subscribe subscribe. Take care,
P.S.
