Constructor: Ian Rathkey
Relative difficulty: MEDIUM (normal Monday, maybe slightly on the slower side)
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THEME: Verb ME, Name!— themers are all famous things or expressions that follow the pattern ___ ME ___, where the first blank is a verb in the imperative mood (a command), and the last blank is a name:
Theme answers:
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This did not start out well at all. ANCHOR LEG was clued as a person (?) instead of a segment of a race??? (17A: Last runner in a relay). Per olympics dot com (seriously), "the last runner in a relay is called the 'anchor'." That person, a human being, is not called a "leg." A "leg" is a segment of a race. I have no idea, literally none, zero, what the hell is up with that clue. The "last runner" *runs* the ANCHOR LEG, she is not, herself, the leg. I had ANCHOR and thought "well surely that can't be LEG in those last three letters." But it was. Then there was BORK, which obviously was designed to be a ghoulish failed right-wing Supreme Court nominee, but then someone thought better and shifted it Swedish Chef-ward. I just remember the Swedish Chef said Swedish-ish gibberish. "BORK," specifically—totally unknown to me. Or forgotten by me. You know, "The Muppet Show" actually hasn't been on in forever, and that is an astonishingly deep cut for a Monday. Plus I had trouble parsing CHOP UP. Plus plus, the fill is just bad right up front. So the start of this puzzle was ragged and weird and oddly hard; I hit SITU, after already laying down BAA USN OAHU ASHE EDY ... and I kinda wanted to give up already. Things did not bode well for the rest of the grid at that point. This point:
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TICKLE ME ELMO is an outlier here, breaking the pattern of command statements (or confusing matters, anyway, as Elmo is, I think, asking you to tickle him ... you aren't asking Elmo to tickle you ... I don't think ... it's not "TICKLE ME comma ELMO." TICKLE ME is kind of a compound adjective, not, like the others, a command ... he is an ELMO who says "TICKLE ME" ... you see the confusion). Still, though, despite the Elmo hiccup, I really like the theme. Can't say I liked much of the rest of the grid, but the "blank ME blank" theme pattern is fresh and original and colorful and just right for a Monday.
Relative difficulty: MEDIUM (normal Monday, maybe slightly on the slower side)
Theme answers:
- "ROCK ME, AMADEUS" (20A: 1986 #1 hit by Falco)
- "HELP ME, RHONDA" (31A: Title lyric heard 41 times in a 1965 Beach Boys hit)
- TICKLE ME ELMO (40A: Red-haired toy craze of 1996)
- "FEED ME, SEYMOUR..." (51A: Request from the voracious plant in "Little Shop of Horrors")
The Swedish Chef is a Muppet character that appeared on The Muppet Show. He was originally performed by Jim Henson and Frank Oz simultaneously, with Henson performing the head and voice and Oz performing the character with real hands. The Swedish Chef is currently performed by Bill Barretta. He is best known for his ridiculous cooking methods and the phrase "Bork, bork, bork!". (wikipedia)
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But then...
And just like that, my heart was back in it. I was just looking for a reason to care (and not groan), and Falco gave it to me. The Beach Boys's song and the 1996 toy craze came easily after that, and once I saw the pattern in the themers, I just went down to the final themer and wrote it in:
Little things made this play slightly slow. Aside from the stuff I already mentioned in the first paragraph, there's stuff like "UM, NO" (38D: "Er, I think I'll pass") (really hard to parse even with the "M" in place) and "I'LL BE" (oddly archaic, so again, not necessarily easy, even with a cross or two). I feel like "I'LL BE" needs a "WELL..." in front of it in order to properly fit the clue (55A: "Color me impressed!"). ASICS don't really seem like they're in Adidas's league, sales-wise, so though I know the ASICS brand well enough, that clue did not cause ASICS to leap to mind (49D: Adidas competitor). Everything else is pretty straightforward. Frequently stale, but not gruesomely so. I tried to no-look the last answer but ended up misreading the grid and inventing the OMELOT (I imagine an OMELOT is an OCELOT omelet ... not so much a delicacy as a desperation measure; that, or it's what King Arthur calls his omelet). Anyway, always read the clues, kids. The end.