Constructor: David Levinson Wilk
Relative difficulty: Average
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THEME: "Puzzlin'" — familiar phrases with -ING words in them are reclued as if the "G" were the first letter in the next word in the phrase and the -ING word were changed to a slangy "-IN'" ending:
Theme answers:
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I don't even know what to say. I don't understand who this puzzle is for. It feels like it's for 1996 or maybe 1985. The theme ... the "jokes" all seems so forced and corny. I mean, the clue on QUALIFYIN' GROUND, for instance, doesn't even make any real sense. "Dry land"? That is your GROUND? And you are imagining someone ... adding some kind of information about "dry land" ... as a form of qualification? It's just so head-shakingly sad, all of this. I'm all for simple and cute, but if this is simple (and I guess it is), the results were repeatedly groany, and not in a "good one!" kind of way. Also the puzzle is really hurt by its low word count. It wants to look impressive by having these big banks of long answers, but they are really costly. NERD ALERT and maybe PHONE SEX are the only answers that seem really nice. Meanwhile, in the "costly" department, we have primo junk like IIN (!?!?) and GOI and ENTO and ASET and AFOE (!?!?!?) and these names, my god, so many names that are clearly only here because they have so many favorable (i.e. RLSTNE) letters in them: ERVINE CABELLO ANNMEYERS NEY MEADE (really, *two* crosswordese military leaders?). GRAMP is not a thing (it's GRAMPS or GRAMPA). OUCHIES is 6000% not a thing. ENNUIS absolutely cannot be pluralized in any reasonable context, my goodness, come on (78D: Ho-hum feelings). Deep mothball smell coming off of this one. I don't know why making a delightful, joyful, or even just light and airy Sunday puzzle is so, so hard. NESPRESSO!? Nespress-no. AALARGE (?), USEALOT (!?!?!). It was a groan-out-loud solve, for sure. ENDE (ugh) of story.
I finished with an error that I absolutely could not find. This is because I had LIE IN instead of LIE ON (40D: Treat as a bed), because I lie in bed, not on bed, and also because ERIS is a goddess so I didn't really think twice about that answer. Now, if I'd read the clue closely ... it would've been a good idea to think twice about it, since the clue was actually asking for a *god* (52A: God who becomes a goddess when an "r" is removed) (EROS). I never bother with those "remove this letter and carry the eight to get another thing!"-type clues. It's a crossword, not a child's rebus puzzle in Highlights magazine. Just clue the answer. Sigh. Anyway, that's all clearly my fault, but since LIE IN is a very plausible answer, and ERIS is in the god/goddess family, you can see (I hope) how finding that particular mistake was well-nigh impossible. Do people call cop cars / squad cars / police cars "RADIO CARS" anymore??? (46A: Receiver of an all-points bulletin). Again, I wonder about what year this puzzle was made in / intended for. The name-y-ness of the puzzle was a little extreme. Count them. There are a lot, and especially a lot up top. TEIXEIRA JEN ERVINE CABELLO SNERT MEADE SHARPTON NEY are all very densely packed in that N/NE section. See also CARR JAYNE CAAN ANNMEYERS NESPRESSO, wow. Names always feel good when you know them and terrible when you don't. Name-dense puzzles are thus dangerous. Not sure EVITE and EBOOK belong in the same grid if you can avoid it. You can leave me the SQUISHY ZEBRAFISH and honestly take most of the rest of this and dispose of it. I just don't understand how this concept qualifies as acceptable fare for the "best puzzle in the country."
So Lollapuzzoola, one of the two crossword tournaments I think are worth going to, would normally be happening in NYC this month, but ... well, you know. Look around at the hellscape that your putrid national leadership hath wrought. Good news, though—the tournament is still happening, entirely on-line, in just under 2 weeks (Saturday, Aug. 15)! Here's organizer Brian Cimmet to tell you all about it:
Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld
[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]
Relative difficulty: Average
Theme answers:
- STANDIN' GROOM ONLY (23A: Nobody but the guy gettin' married on his feet?)
- EVERLASTIN' GLOVE (38A: Winter item you'll be wearin' for years?)
- FALLIN' GRAIN (58A: Danger when walkin' in a silo?)
- PARKIN' GRAMP (69A: Drivin' around the lot with pop-pop?)
- QUALIFYIN' ROUND (87A: Sayin'"Look, here's the thing about dry land ..."?)
- FEAR OF MISSIN' GOUT (102A: What was causin' the doctor to check for joint pain?)
Ann Meyers Drysdale (born Ann Elizabeth Meyers; March 26, 1955) is an American former basketball player and sportscaster. She was a standout player in high school, college, the Olympic Games, international tournaments, and the professional levels.Meyers was the first player to be part of the U.S. national team while still in high school. She was the first woman to be signed to a four-year athletic scholarship for college, at UCLA.[1] She was also the second woman to sign a contract with a National Basketball Association team, the Indiana Pacers (1979). Her USA World Champion team member Lusia "Lucy" Harris-Stewart was the first woman to sign with an NBA team in 1977, the New Orleans Jazz. (wikipedia)
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I finished with an error that I absolutely could not find. This is because I had LIE IN instead of LIE ON (40D: Treat as a bed), because I lie in bed, not on bed, and also because ERIS is a goddess so I didn't really think twice about that answer. Now, if I'd read the clue closely ... it would've been a good idea to think twice about it, since the clue was actually asking for a *god* (52A: God who becomes a goddess when an "r" is removed) (EROS). I never bother with those "remove this letter and carry the eight to get another thing!"-type clues. It's a crossword, not a child's rebus puzzle in Highlights magazine. Just clue the answer. Sigh. Anyway, that's all clearly my fault, but since LIE IN is a very plausible answer, and ERIS is in the god/goddess family, you can see (I hope) how finding that particular mistake was well-nigh impossible. Do people call cop cars / squad cars / police cars "RADIO CARS" anymore??? (46A: Receiver of an all-points bulletin). Again, I wonder about what year this puzzle was made in / intended for. The name-y-ness of the puzzle was a little extreme. Count them. There are a lot, and especially a lot up top. TEIXEIRA JEN ERVINE CABELLO SNERT MEADE SHARPTON NEY are all very densely packed in that N/NE section. See also CARR JAYNE CAAN ANNMEYERS NESPRESSO, wow. Names always feel good when you know them and terrible when you don't. Name-dense puzzles are thus dangerous. Not sure EVITE and EBOOK belong in the same grid if you can avoid it. You can leave me the SQUISHY ZEBRAFISH and honestly take most of the rest of this and dispose of it. I just don't understand how this concept qualifies as acceptable fare for the "best puzzle in the country."
So Lollapuzzoola, one of the two crossword tournaments I think are worth going to, would normally be happening in NYC this month, but ... well, you know. Look around at the hellscape that your putrid national leadership hath wrought. Good news, though—the tournament is still happening, entirely on-line, in just under 2 weeks (Saturday, Aug. 15)! Here's organizer Brian Cimmet to tell you all about it:
It’s almost time for the greatest crossword tournament ever held on a Saturday in August – Lollapuzzoola 13 is taking place virtually on Saturday, August 15!There will be five tournament puzzles, extra (optional) games peppered throughout the event, and two skill divisions in which to vie for championship bragging rights.Visit bemoresmarter.com/lollapuzzoola for more information and to sign up today!I expect they're going to break "attendance" records since everyone has equal access to the tourney, wherever they live, and people are understandably desperate for human community of a fun-loving nature. Anyway, you should do this. The in-person version of the tourney is always delightful, and I can't imagine the on-line version would be anything less.
Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld
[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]