Constructor: Samuel A. Donaldson
Relative difficulty: Easy (9:01) (usually gotta be under 9 for "Easy" but since I've had a DRINK and it's HOT I'm gonna adjust the scale a little)
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THEME:"Chores Galore" — chores, clued as if they refer to something wacky (based on an alternate interpretation of a word in the chore phrase):
Theme answers:
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Speaking of chores... This is really grim. I truly don't understand who(m) this puzzle is amusing. It's dad-pun stuff, but not even groaners, just boring stuff. Truly, indescribably boring, all of the alleged humor here. Sometimes the jokes don't even make good jokey sense. Like, in what way do "censors"TAKE OUT THE TRASH? Would you, or anyone, really, ever, refer to profanity or nudity or whatever might get censored by a censor as "trash"? What year is it? Did a suburban mom in 1957 write this? I also just don't get GO TO THE BANK—what does that have to do with a challenge to a rower? Is it a "challenge" to "row" to the "bank" ... of a river? That doesn't sound like a chore. I mean, you rowed away from the bank, presumably, how is rowing to it a "chore"? I feel like ... there's this lowest common denominator, looks-and-feels-like-stuff-we've-seen-a-million-times, written-by-a-million-white-guys-type theme that is just allowed to continue to play out over and over and over, particularly in Sunday puzzles. It's tepid, weak, anodyne, and absolutely soul-sucking. This editor brags routinely about the six thousand or whatever submissions he gets each year, basically as a way of saying "f- you, I never have to change 'cause if you stop submitting there are a thousand who will take your place." But the typical submission must be hilariously terrible if what we're seeing on a regular basis is truly the cream of the crop. I think he just publishes stuff that feels familiar, like stuff he's done every week since the mid-'90s, by loyalists who just churn it out. Competent bland work, over and over and over. There's no reason puzzles have to be like this. We've just been trained to think that this is how they *are*. "It's the NYTXW, so it must be the best." Well, no.
The fill made me wince repeatedly. There's not a damn thing worth highlighting. AT THE OPERA? Like ... what? That's a partial. Get the whole title in your grid, and I'll applaud, but just AT THE OPERA!? My god, what the hell? Never heard of a ROADWAY INN (are these regional?), and yet somehow I want to say that that's the best answer in the grid, because it's one of the only non-theme answers longer than seven letters and the only one besides "HERE'S HOW!" that's kinda lively. UDO MIDI WIIU ELIM SRO AHH TSU (!?), etc etc. When there's not a lot of interesting fill, that short stuff starts to grate, badly. I guess they're gonna bring back the duck clue for JEMIMA now that the racist caricature of a syrup mascot has been thrown overboard in the wake of BLM protests this summer. I think you're probably better off just Deleting JEMIMA from your word list entirely. You can do without it. I know you can. I have no idea what TATES is (are?). [Crispy cookie brand]!? I'm staring at a bag of them and can confidently say I've never seen these things in my whole damn half century of life.
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The family on "Soap," they were the TATES, right? And "the STEEPS?" I am making the yuckiest face at that answer. I used to ski in California in the '80s and I don't remember such cutesiness. I don't know why this puzzle couldn't just focus on being ... better. More interesting conceptually. Better fill. Getting cute with the clues on short fill isn't gonna move the needle, although it can augment irksomeness. With apologies to fans of Disney princesses (and "Mr. Belvedere"), there are no famous ILENEs. I have spoken. End the Sunday madness / badness. It's maddening / baddening.
Hey, you want to have some weird throwback crossword fun? Yeah, you do. Speed-solving legend Dan Feyer has a couple of puzzle sets from the '80s/'90s available for free on his blog. First, there's a trove of Something Different puzzles (my favorite puzzle type—absolute wacky madness). You can read what they are and download them in .puz format here. Then there's a bunch of diagramless, themed, and themeless puzzles, also from the '80s/90s, which he just made available here. All puzzles were originally published in Stanley Newman's "Crossworder's OWN Newsletter" (later renamed "Tough Puzzles"). The constructors are all All-Stars from 30+ years ago (including the great Merl Reagle). It's such a treat to have these available. Keep in mind that they are somewhat dated and also generally very hard. There's some ... uh ... mild cringeworthy / culturally insensitive stuff in the fill. cluing, on occasion. But overall, the craftsmanship and wit on display here is Remarkable. So enjoy.
Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld
[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]
Relative difficulty: Easy (9:01) (usually gotta be under 9 for "Easy" but since I've had a DRINK and it's HOT I'm gonna adjust the scale a little)
Theme answers:
- TAKE OUT THE TRASH (23A: Chore for a censor?)
- DO THE DISHES (28A: Chore for a TV technician?)
- SWEEP THE FLOOR (42A: Chore for a security guard?)
- GO TO THE BANK (67A: Chore for a rower?)
- SORT THE MAIL (73A: Chore for a knight?)
- PICK UP THE TOYS (97A: Chore for a dog-walker?)
- PAY THE BILLS (114A: Chore for an N.F.L. owner?)
- CLEAN THE GUTTERS (121A: Chore for a bowling alley employee?)
Jacqueline Ruth "Ilene" Woods (May 5, 1929 – July 1, 2010) was an American actress and singer. Woods was the original voice of the title character of the Walt Disney animated feature Cinderella, for which she was named a Disney Legend in 2003. (wikipedia)
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The fill made me wince repeatedly. There's not a damn thing worth highlighting. AT THE OPERA? Like ... what? That's a partial. Get the whole title in your grid, and I'll applaud, but just AT THE OPERA!? My god, what the hell? Never heard of a ROADWAY INN (are these regional?), and yet somehow I want to say that that's the best answer in the grid, because it's one of the only non-theme answers longer than seven letters and the only one besides "HERE'S HOW!" that's kinda lively. UDO MIDI WIIU ELIM SRO AHH TSU (!?), etc etc. When there's not a lot of interesting fill, that short stuff starts to grate, badly. I guess they're gonna bring back the duck clue for JEMIMA now that the racist caricature of a syrup mascot has been thrown overboard in the wake of BLM protests this summer. I think you're probably better off just Deleting JEMIMA from your word list entirely. You can do without it. I know you can. I have no idea what TATES is (are?). [Crispy cookie brand]!? I'm staring at a bag of them and can confidently say I've never seen these things in my whole damn half century of life.
Hey, you want to have some weird throwback crossword fun? Yeah, you do. Speed-solving legend Dan Feyer has a couple of puzzle sets from the '80s/'90s available for free on his blog. First, there's a trove of Something Different puzzles (my favorite puzzle type—absolute wacky madness). You can read what they are and download them in .puz format here. Then there's a bunch of diagramless, themed, and themeless puzzles, also from the '80s/90s, which he just made available here. All puzzles were originally published in Stanley Newman's "Crossworder's OWN Newsletter" (later renamed "Tough Puzzles"). The constructors are all All-Stars from 30+ years ago (including the great Merl Reagle). It's such a treat to have these available. Keep in mind that they are somewhat dated and also generally very hard. There's some ... uh ... mild cringeworthy / culturally insensitive stuff in the fill. cluing, on occasion. But overall, the craftsmanship and wit on display here is Remarkable. So enjoy.
Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld
[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]