Bygone Buick / SAT 6-13-20 / Classic bit of groanworthy wordplay / Hyperbolic figure / Supposed sightings off coast of Norway / Annual e-sports competition since 1996 / Motor contests with portmanteau name / Opera with noted triumphal march

Constructor: Trenton Charlson

Relative difficulty: Medium (8-ish)

THEME: none

Word of the Day: XIANGQI (39D: So-called "Chinese chess") —

Xiangqi (Chinese: 象棋; pinyin: xiàngqí; English: /ˈʃɑːŋtʃi/), also called Chinese chess, is a strategy board game for two players. It is one of the most popular board games in China, and is in the same family as Western (or international) chess, chaturanga, shogi, Indian chess and janggi. Besides China and areas with significant ethnic Chinese communities, xiangqi is also a popular pastime in Vietnam, where it is known as cờ tướng.

The game represents a battle between two armies, with the object of capturing the enemy's general (king). Distinctive features of xiangqi include the cannon (pao), which must jump to capture; a rule prohibiting the generals from facing each other directly; areas on the board called the river and palace, which restrict the movement of some pieces (but enhance that of others); and placement of the pieces on the intersections of the board lines, rather than within the squares. (wikipedia)

Did CAVEMEN make this? Like, nerdy CAVEMEN who are way too into games and puns and Scrabbly letters and who seem completely unaware of the existence of women? This was a dude puzzle for dudes filled with dude things and absolutely no references to women unless you wanna go ahead and count a fictional female rabbit as a woman. UNREAL. Oh, sorry, I overlooked also-fictional MEG. She's just three letters and all tucked away down there. Anyway ... I see that you are really into Scrabbly letters and groanworthy wordplay and some e-sports thing ... I'm just gonna go ... stand over here now, thanks, bye. The whole vibe on this just wasn't for me. Not badly constructed, just kind of blah and without any real sparkle or breadth of cultural reference (beyond the Chinese chess thing). I didn't have too much trouble with it except in the west in general, and the southwest in particular. Really resented EXFBI, which feels very much not a thing (38A: Like some private eyes). I read a lot (Lot) of private eye novels; I have taught courses in crime fiction at the undergraduate and graduate level. I am sure that some actual, and maybe some fictional, private eyes used to be in the FBI, but I reject that as a *definitive* thing, and I kinda reject the very "word"EXFBI. Getting that off the -BI was probably the hardest thing about the puzzle, especially since that "I" came on the horrid crosswordese Saw sequel SAWII, which I thought ... maybe was SAWIV (I *saw* none of them). Not knowing a single letter of XIANGQI was probably the thing that slowed me most in that corner, but the thing that annoyed me most was damn sure EXFBI. That, and my stupid failure to spell ELYSIAN correctly on the first try (ELESIAN!? What was I thinking?) (38D: Heavenly).


Weird experience up top to start, where I had LION over ACRE over WEGO and absolutely no idea what the first three letters of *any* of those answers was. Wrote in HELLION (!) at one point for 1A: Hyperbolic figure (ZILLION). Somehow thought there could be a TWO-ACRE lot; wasn't sure from the "?" clue if an adj. or noun was called for (15A: Quite a lot?). Wanted only "HERE WE GO!" for 17A: "And so it begins!" ("OFF WE GO!"). Didn't get any of that stuff until late, when I finally figured out TOM SWIFTY (the very name made me ugh) and worked my way up (32A: Classic bit of groanworthy wordplay). Had "BE REAL" before "UNREAL" (28A: "No way!"). In other parts of the grid, I had no idea what a XEROPHYTE was (8D: Plant suited to an arid environment), so was heavily reliant on crosses. Wanted ODDBALL before ODDDUCK (13D: Weird type).ROADEOS is a superdumb thing I don't believe is real any more than I believe ROLEOS are real and so that answer can get bent (14D: Motor contests with a portmanteau name). Couldn't be less interested in "e-sports competition"s if I tried, and EVO is evo-cative of precisely nothing, so that was unpleasant. And I just could not wrap my brain around the phrasing of the clue at 33D: Accelerate in the process (FAST TRACK). It was the "in" ... I couldn't make it work. I think the clue actually probably works better as just [Accelerate]. The prepositional phrase just makes it clunky and awkward.


OK, on to Sunday.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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