Bridge scorecard heading / THU 10-24-19 / Heiress of Hartfield in 1816 novel / Totally dope in dated slang

Constructor: Matt Ginsberg

Relative difficulty: Easy

THEME: "Nothing"— the word is absent from the front end of ten answers ... so I guess it's represented literally in the grid:

Theme answers:

• BUT THE BEST (18A: When prefixed with 72-Across, what a friend wishes for you)
• TO SNEEZE AT (20A: ... A matter worth considering)
• TO WEAR (24A: ... Plaint upon going through one's closet)
• MUCH (38A: ... A small amount)
• TO IT (42A: ... "Piece of cake!")
• BURGER (52A: ... Dud)
• UP MY SLEEVE (57A: ... Magician's claim)
• LEFT BEHIND (63A: ... Surgeon's goal) ("left behind" as in "instruments or other foreign matter left behind inside the patient")
• BUT NET (4D: ... "Swish")
• IS EASY (51D: ... "Keep at it!")

Word of the Day: ALTA (8D: Ski area in the Wasatch Mountains)—

Alta is a ski area in the western United States, located in the town of Alta in the Wasatch Mountains of Utah, in Salt Lake County. With a skiable area of 2,614 acres (10.58 km²), Alta's base elevation is 8,530 ft (2,600 m) and rises to 11,068 ft (3,374 m) for a vertical gain of 2,538 ft (774 m). One of the oldest ski resorts in the country, it opened its first lift in early 1939. Alta is known for receiving more snow than most Utah resorts, with an average annual snowfall of 545 inches (13.8 m). Alta is one of three remaining ski resorts in the U.S. that prohibits snowboarders, along with nearby competitor Deer Valleyand Vermont's Mad River Glen. (wikipedia)

This was very easy, and I can see how a solver might be thrilled to get the gimmick easily and then have that EDGE of knowing the first word heading into every theme clue. So there's the pleasure of "Ha, got it!" I don't see what other pleasure there is, though, and I'm once again stunned that anyone thought that the best thing to do with a bland, one-note theme was to make it Super Dense, thereby ruining the possibility that the non-theme stuff might be interesting. Constructors often get up in their own heads, setting challenges for themselves that have absolutely [...] to do with solver enjoyment. In fact, theme density often works directly against grid sparkle. Here, nothing goes terribly wrong, but we endure a ton of dry old short stuff so that all those "nothing" phrases can get in there. If the theme was inherently delightful, it might be worth it to have nothing terribly interesting going on outside the theme, and to have to slog through your typical slate of crosswordese: ELAL AGRA MINH VIOL STENO etc. Even the slang is musty (PHAT, ROFL). But whatever whimsical delight one might've felt at uncovering a few on-the-money "nothing" phrases is undone by the cramming in of less delightful, merely plausible ones. Good possibilities like ___ DOING and ___ IN COMMON and, I don't know, "___ COMPARES 2 U" are absent while "___ IS EASY" (!?!?) and "___ TO WEAR" somehow make the cut. The cluing concept is messed up, too. If I read the clues like a damn menu, then yeah, I guess I'd see the first Across clue first. But like most humans I start in the NW, where A. I saw the first Down themer first (___ BUT NET), and B. even if I had seen the Across themer in that section first, it wouldn't have been the first one, since the first Across themer—the initial clue that introduces all the other ellipsis-fronted theme clues—actually occupies the upper right part of the grid. Anyway, I got ___ BUT NET within a few seconds, then ___ TO SNEEZE AT, then just filled in most of the rest of them. Got every one of them with no additional help except ___ LEFT BEHIND and "___ IS EASY."


Five things:

• 70A: Bridge scorecard heading (THEY)— honestly thought I had an error. Never played bridge. Not once. Never. Never seen a bridge scorecard. Thought maybe people played bridge at THE "Y" ??? So apparently the headings on the scorecard are "WE" and "THEY," which ... seems precious and strange. But it's your game, not my game, so enjoy it. THEY!
• 2D: "Little ___ in Slumberland" (early comic) (NEMO) — easily my favorite part of the puzzle, just because I enjoy remembering how stunning this comic is. Winsor McCay's epic dreamscapes were just about the best thing that's ever appeared in the brightly-colored Sunday comics section. Kid falls asleep and has fantastical, often frightening dreams, and then (usually) ends up waking up in a heap on the floor in the final panel. For example... 
• 52D: Comforts (BALMS) — had the "B" and wanted "BABY...S?" Maybe BOONS. Definitely not BALMS, which are for lips (though this clue is perfectly accurate, of course).
• 60D: Heiress of Hartfield, in an 1816 novel (EMMA)— me, with "E" In place: "EYRE!" (Those who have read both novels will realize how incredibly bad a guess this is)
• 61D: Popular Renaissance instrument (VIOL) — "Popular?" I mean ... you'd think [Renaissance instrument] would be enough. I mean, really, what do you mean by "popular"? How many people actually played VIOL? I demand statistics! Anyway, I wrote in LYRE at first, I think.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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