Old Seattle sports headline / WED 10-9-19 / 1980 sci-fi thriller / Internationally popular French comic book series since 1959 / Milton Berle's longtime sponsor

Constructor: Alan Arbesfeld

Relative difficulty: Challenging (high 5s, then another minute or so half-heartedly tracking down wrong squares / typos)


THEME: ALTERED STATES (34A: 1980 sci-fi thriller ... or a hint to the answers to the six starred clues) — answers to the six starred clues are all anagrams of states (of America):

Theme answers:

• SHOT AWNING (17A: *Storefront cover that's totally busted?)
• RANK BASE (26A: *Army camp that stinks to high heaven?)
• SONICS WIN (27A: *Old Seattle sports page headline?)
• TEEN SENSE (42A: Appetizer bowlful?)
• REAL AWED (50A: *Super-impressed?)
• RACIAL INFO (57A: *What the census provides, in part?)

Word of the Day: LATEEN (46D: Triangular 48-Down) —

A lateen (from French latine, meaning "Latin") or latin-rig is a triangular sail set on a long yard mounted at an angle on the mast, and running in a fore-and-aft direction.

Dating back to Roman navigation, the lateen became the favorite sail of the Age of Discovery, mainly because it allows a boat to tack "against the wind." It is common in the Mediterranean, the upper Nile River, and the northwestern parts of the Indian Ocean, where it is the standard rig for feluccas and dhows. The lateen is used today in a slightly different form on small recreational boats like the Sailfish and Sunfish, but is still used as a working rig by coastal fishermen in the Mediterranean. (wikipedia)

The good news is that I had the privilege of solving a *great* puzzle tonight. Sadly for all of us, it wasn't this one. Please, if you don't subscribe to the American Values Club Crossword Puzzle already,  first of all, you are actively engaged in self-harm—subscribe immediately—and second of all, spend the one dollar American and buy the latest puzzle, "Bursting with Pride" (by Sid Sivakumar), a la carte (do it here). I did it earlier this evening and in addition to just being a solid puzzle, the theme (once I finally put it all together) made me smile. Genuinely smile. It's clever and lovely and everything the NYTXW should be on a regular basis but mostly is Not. I'm making this comparison to night because I did these two puzzles almost back-to-back, and the distance between them felt chasmic. Is that a word!? It is now! This one felt so old, old in all the bad ways, the old fill, the old frame of reference (old basketball teams, old TV references, rivers and rivers and sailing terminology and SSA and IDI my god make it stop!!). And the theme ... sigh, like yesterday, the revealer is a great answer on its own. Really happy to see that movie in the center of my grid. But the theme concept, the theme execution? Who cares? Who Cares? It's just anagrams of state names?? The phrases aren't funny and the anagramming was tedious—and I'm generally pretty good at anagrams. I honestly had no idea what was happening until, let's see ... I don't know, it might've been toward the end when I was almost done but Still Didn't Have *THREE* themers figured out. Basically every themer crossed by the Milton Berle (...) answer, I was like "?" No joke, I had KEEN SENSE, REAL AVID, and SOCIAL INFO as theme answers at various points in my solve. Eventually saw the "Tennessee" anagram, and then got the "Delaware" one, but still was not getting RACIAL, ugh. Just ugh. I was struggling, and with a theme I cared less than nothing about.

11D: J.Crew competitor (L.L. BEAN)

The thing is you can probably turn *most* state names into wacky phrases, can't you? NINE ATOMS. COOL ROAD. Uh ... NAVY SIN PANEL. The list (probably) goes on. Why these states? Why? Just ... states. Because. Anagrams. Because. Blargh. And then the relentless beat of the hooves of crosswordese demons bearing down on you, AKELA! ELBE! EMBAR! IDI! SSA! ONEL! There's no joy, no lightness, no cleverness. Just a dreary trudge to the finish line. Worse, there's a promising revealer, squandered. AGAIN.


Five things:

• 4D: Lakeside rental (JETSKI)— took me way too long to get this. Was imagining the *side* of a lake, not the lake itself. Wanted something like "cabin."
• 21A: Facial hair for Uncle Sam and others (GOATEES) — the pluralizing here is so awkward. You pluralize the people ("Uncle Sam and others") ... and expect the facial hair to come along for the ride? Every other GOATEES clue I'm looking at pluralizes the hair formation itself. I feel like the answer here should be in the singular still. Not convinced that saying it's "for""others" makes it plural. Boo. 
• 47D: Milton Berle's longtime sponsor (TEXACO) — first time I had this answer all filled in, it read KIXACO. And why not? What do I know about Milton Berle-era TV sponsors? (A: little)
• 51D: Tense with excitement (WIRED)— first time I had this answer all filled in, it read VISED, and reader, I believed it was correct.
• 5D: Vitamin also known as riboflavin (BTWO) — never ever Ever written this way, of course, but whatever. I wrote in BTEN, which is very much My Bad. 

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

P.S. this puzzle was so distractingly bad that it made me overlook the cool comics answer, ASTERIX, of which I very much approve (53A: Internationally popular French comic book series since 1959)

P.P.S. who thinks of the damn hotel room PEN as an "amenity"!? ("well lah-di-dah, a complimentary writing implement, my stars!") (43D: Hotel room amenity)

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