Jazzman Earl / SAT 12-15-18 / 1988 security guard comedy / Folklore monster whose name means goat-sucker / Nickname for Ulysses / Setting of 2000s comedy central police show

Constructor: Erik Agard

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging for me  (9:15, w/ an error) but I've seen other times, and it's apparently more Easy-Medium

THEME: none

Word of the Day:"RENO 9-1-1" (30D: Setting of a 2000s Comedy Central police show) —

Reno 911! is an American comedy television series on Comedy Central that ran from 2003 to 2009. It is a mockumentary-style parody of law enforcement documentary shows, specifically Cops, with comic actors playing the police officers. Most of the material is improvised, using a broad outline with minimal scripted material. The series spawned a film, Reno 911!: Miami, featuring the same cast. Thomas Lennon, Robert Ben Garant and Kerri Kenney-Silver all starred in and are billed as creators of the series. (wikipedia)

Parts of this were very easy. I came right down the west coast like it was no problem at all, or not much of one. But after dropping ELGRECO into the SW, and then SONAR and HINES into the middle, things started to go very wrong. I just couldn't push up into the NE and couldn't really push down into the SW. Cape ____, I don't know. CIGAR ... what? ROOM? Seemed like a lot of possible four-letter answers (32D: Locale for Cubans). And then ... I just had a problem of not looking at long gimmes soon enough. I was in the SW a while, struggling with Downs, before I looked at 56A: #1 hit for the Jackson 5 and Mariah Carey ("I'LL BE THERE"), a total gimme. Before that, though, I had ELGRECO SELA CERES and a whole lotta nothing. I had COOLER but didn't believe BEER COOLER was a thing. You can put anything in a COOLER, right? Is there one they make *just* for beer? Also, side note: PBRS is an atrocious plural. Whatever, I was slow down there, and very slow getting out because I kept putting SLEDDERS in and taking it out because it was resulting in an impossible cross at 46A: CDD-. Ugh, how is a CD DRIVE a *program* opening. I get that you might put a disc into the drive. But the disc is not the program. There are programs on discs, presumably, but the disc isn't the program. The cluing on this one was irking me all over, from BEER COOLER to CDDRIVE to IRAQI (what's w/ the gratuitous militarism here?) (47D: Operation Red Dawn defender) to HESITATION (I mean, I guess that's a pre-jump thing, but so is vomiting or fainting or shouting 'Cowabunga!'—also it is not an *ideal* pre-jump thing, as I understand it), to CHUTZPAH (5D: Arguing with God, for example) (why are you bringing God into this? that word is used for ordinary stuff). But the worst clues, for me, were in a bunch, in the east. Let's start with GOOSE (33A: Stimulate).


I think it's really "Stimulate" that is the problem here. That word has positive connotations where physical touching is concerned, and the verb GOOSE, as I've most commonly heard it, involves pinching, often men pinching women, often men pinching women's asses. Wow, actually, the M-W definition is much more graphic:

"Upward thrust"!? I did not know that was required, or definitive. So, yeah, the clue is technically correct, for def. 2, but making the clue a positive-touch word when the answer's primary meaning is such a negative-touch word ... not great. Editing! Also, hey, am I the only one who says the "L" (sort of) in POLK? (27D: Apt surname for an acupuncturist?) POKE and POLK sound different to me. Or feel different coming out of my mouth. I hated this version of the "apt name" clue for this reason. I also didn't like the clue on CLAW (37A: Cardinal point?). If I had to name all the parts of the bird, I would never say CLAW, ever. Bears have CLAWs. Birds have talons. Therefore, I wrote in CRAW. This left me with an acupuncturist named PORK, but I didn't really stop to think about that. PORK / CRAW, very real words! Done!


Here's the thing—if I had looked at 5A: Folklore monster whose name means "goat-sucker" (CHUPACABRA) early on, this solve would've gone very differently. Because that long answer was a Gimme. If I'd gone *there* after the NW, instead of struggling in the south and east, I would've gotten PIED PIPER and SIT 'N' SPIN (two answers I could Not get trying to come at them from the puzzle's middle). Also would've come at SOCCER TEAM from the *top* (so much easier than the bottom) (26D: United, e.g.). I was coming at a bunch of answers from the wrong side. CHUPACABRA, a top-row gift, would've changed all of that. Once I (finally) looked at it, the puzzle sped up again. I still would've finished with PORK / CRAW, but I would've finished *quickly*!

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

PS also had a triple-wrong answer fiasco in the SE at one point with NEHI NESS TEAL (instead of TRIX EARP AQUA). Good times.

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