You can't bring in crazed antelope Mr Glass / WED 12-5-18 / Organization honored on October 24 / Suffering caused by reader prejudice / Beekeeper of filmdom

Constructor: Alan Arbesfeld

Relative difficulty: I don't know, I just sort of gave up ... probably on the Challenging side because of the gibberish

THEME: UNITED NATIONS (35A: Organization honored on October 24 ... and the theme of this puzzle) — "nations" all shoved together ("united"), and then reimagined as a wacky phrase:

Theme answers:

• "IRA, NO MANIC ELAND!" (17A: "You can't bring in a crazed antelope, Mr. Glass!")
• CUB ALE BAN ON (23A: Wrigley Field's beer boycott goes into effect?)
• MA LIES TO NIA (50A: Mother isn't straight with actress Vardalos?)
• PERUSER BIAS PAIN (57A: Suffering caused by reader prejudice?)

Word of the Day: ALAN KING (37D: Comic who said "If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books") —

Alan King (born Irwin Alan Kniberg; December 26, 1927 – May 9, 2004) was an American actor and comedian known for his biting wit and often angry humorous rants. King became well known as a Jewish comedian and satirist. He was also a serious actor who appeared in a number of movies and television shows. King wrote several books, produced films, and appeared in plays. In later years, he helped many philanthropic causes. (wikipedia)

Don't think I'll write much about this one. There are so many obvious problems that it just seems cruel. But a few words before I go. First, when you're dealing with a holiday, or a commemorative day of any kind, it's best to run the puzzle on that day. Barring that, then *near* that day. This is especially true of a day no one knows or cares about. I'm now realizing the whole irksome thing of running an October 24 puzzle on December 5 could've been avoided simply by choosing One Of Probably Infinite Other UNITED NATIONS Clues Available To You. Or, you know, by running this puzzle on the actual date of October 24 ... which was ... Also A Wednesday (!) OMF#@$#$@. Wow. OK. Then there's the theme itself, which is so gibberishy and involved so much repronunciation that it felt more like torture than pleasure. I finished with a typo at ISM (I had IST ... you can guess how thrilled I was to make a typo on that delightful bit of fill) (5D: Suffix with ideal), because my brain was parsing it as "IRA, NOT A NICE ELAND!", which admittedly seems ridiculous, but really ... I mean look at this puzzle. Who is it to tell me what's "ridiculous"? Anyway, figuring out those themers was a chore—one made infinitely more tedious by the dodgy fill that runs through the veins of this entire thing. All I have to do is direct you to column 6 (the ISM column). Just read down. ISM ULEE ESME. There should be some alarm that goes off on your puzzle any time you get a crosswordese bingo in your grid like that. Red lights. Sirens. Sirens that scream "ISM-ULEE-ESME! ISM-ULEE-ESME!" The works.


Someone I know got so annoyed at this grid that they made a whole new one:

This is the extremes to which some solvers will go to find amusement when the crossword lets them down so badly. I like the new grid. Its main problem is that it still contains all the dumb theme stuff. Thank god for crossword Twitter and the #NYTXW hashtag—they are a solace on days like this. Pain is easier to bear when it's shared:





(note: @AVCXWord is the American Values Crossword and @bewildering_ly is the Twitter handle of Will Nediger, whose (free) indie puzzle site is here. OK, back to the tweets...)



OK, then, bye.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld (Twitter @rexparker / #NYTXW)

PS what the hell is up with the clue on STARVE??? (45D: Eschew rather than chew?) Presumably if you're "starving" you just don't have *&^#ing food; you're not "eschewing" anything. This is a clue from someone who has plenty of food and never thinks about, I don't know, the 85K children (to date) who have starved to death in Yemen. "Eschewed"!? And all for a stupid pun?! Amazing. You could've saved this clue for FAST, where it would've been, you know, appropriate.

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]