Office-inappropriate in web shorthand / TUE 10-2-18 / Folksy restroom sign / Carte that comes before the course, ugh

Constructor: Paul Coulter

Relative difficulty: Challenging (4:20, 20 seconds over my slowest Tuesday time)

THEME: two Broadway shows ... that make a phrase ... that gets a wacky clue?  —

Theme answers:

• BIG COMPANY (17A: Megacorporation? [1996, 1970])
• HAIR GREASE 926A: Pomade? [1968, 1972])
• WICKED NINE (45A: Supreme Court that's corrupt? [2003, 1982])
• FROZEN ONCE (61A: Melted? [2018, 2012])

Word of the Day: DOBBS Ferry, N.Y. (1D: ___ Ferry, N.Y.) —

Dobbs Ferry is a village in Westchester County, New York. The population was 11,093 according to the 2016 census.^[2] The Village of Dobbs Ferry is located in, and is a part of, the town of Greenburgh. The village ZIP code is 10522. Most of the Village falls into the boundaries of the Dobbs Ferry Union Free School District.

Without a revealer, this puzzle is ridiculous. You don't even see Broadway shows as double bills, so nothing about this theme makes any kind of sense. The dates outside of the theme clues are worse than useless. At least one of these shows is infinitely more famous as a movie, and I've barely heard of "Once," but again, that doesn't matter. What matters is that people will be looking for the *revealer*, the thing that makes sense of this theme, and it will never, ever come. Also, the puzzle is very poorly filled. But again, the BIG, bigger, much bigger problem is that the puzzle is conceptually rotten. It's also much tougher than the average Tuesday, so, you know, we get the worst of both worlds (dumb *and* tough), which is always nice. I am genuinely stunned that this puzzle was a. written and b. accepted for publication without a revealer. Oh, and it's annoying provincial, in the sense that it's all about Broadway (painfully so—the puzzle doesn't even let non-Broadway fans in on the theme) and then DOBBS Ferry, wtf. Some village suburb? I guess I should be grateful it wasn't the more viable DOBBS clue, since that guy is disgusting, but still. Something awful is AFOOT and ARIOT (I told you the fill was bad—ISMS!).


Let's return to how bad this is. EARED! It's bad. And tough. Why? Why would you ...? I'm told this theme has also Been Done Before (presumably better, Presumably With Some Kind Of Revealer That Makes Sense Of It All. Oh, wait, I thought of yet another way this theme is terrible. HAIR GREASE is an actual thing. BIG COMPANY is almost an actual thing. The others are manifestly made-up things. If they had all been Real Things, that would've at least given the theme ... something. But to put real and fake things together. It's a joke. This puzzle is AJOKE with badness. NUS! STERE! ORSO! LOL the sewing meaning of BASTE (35A: Stitch loosely), when presumably the sewing mafia already got their sop with DARNS (1A: Mends with stitches). Ugh. This puzzle made literally no right moves.

Five Things:

• 33D: ___ na tigela (fruity Brazilian dish) (AÇAI) — how is that a Tuesday clue? Don't try to dress your crosswordese up like culinary trivia. It's still a dumb "superfood" or whatever. Again, you've just made your bad puzzle harder.
• 39A: Worthless amount (FIG) — prithee, what year is it, m'lord!?!?!
• 35D: Ne'er-do-well (BAD EGG)— dated fill just keep comin'
• 20A: Sorrowful sound (BOO HOO)— BOO HOO is only ever a mock-sorrowful sound
• 59A: Render harmless (DEFUSE)— I had DEFANG, which is a thousand times better, give me Something, you ridiculous puzzle

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]