Ancient Greek colonnade / SAT 6-16-18 / Vacation destinations off coast of Venezuela / Japanese lunch option / path of overnight star / Flawlessly styled in modern slang / Former reality TV show first hosted by Anderson Cooper / Argentine soccer star, informally / Letters before Q

Constructor: Sam Trabucco

Relative difficulty: Easy (5:48)

THEME: none

Word of the Day: CLOVIS (20D: First king to unite all the Frankish tribes) —

Clovis (Latin: Chlodovechus; reconstructed Frankish: *Hlōdowig;  c. 466 – 27 November 511) was the first king of the Franks to unite allof the Frankish tribes under one ruler [wikicluing!], changing the form of leadership from a group of royal chieftains to rule by a single king and ensuring that the kingship was passed down to his heirs. He is considered to have been the founder of the Merovingian dynasty, which ruled the Frankish kingdom for the next two centuries. (wikipedia)

This was fabulous. It was so good that I'm not even that mad about a couple of really regrettable answers. The cluing was smart and sassy, and the fill was diverse and (often) contemporary. The whole thing was playful and fun, from the dad-joke "EXCUSE YOU!" (15A: Comment after a burp) to the clue on LGBT (10A: Letters before Q) (!) to the delicious BENTO BOX to the World Cup-relevant LEO MESSI (10D: Argentine soccer star, informally) to the weird trip down reality TV memory lane with "THE MOLE" (21A: Former reality TV show first hosted by Anderson Cooper) to, heck, even the clue on RING TOSS, which is perfectly misdirective (37D: Fair game). All that, and it was easier than usual, which always gives one a triumphant feeling. I got AZERA right off the bat, and that proved very helpful in giving me instant momentum. The "Z" wasn't immediately helpful (I was looking for ZENITH ... something), but, oddly, all the common letters in AZERA were. I had to get ZERO TO HERO entirely from crosses because, until the last square, I was totally misunderstanding what kind of "star" we were dealing with (2D: Path of an overnight star).



So let's look briefly at the regrettable answers. First, WIN AN OSCAR, which is about as EAT A SANDWICH an answer as I've ever seen in a grid. WIN AN EMMY / GRAMMY / TONY / SWEEPSTAKES / RACE  ... these are phrases one might say, but they are not tight, not standalone-worthy. So, for example, GET A LIFE, yes, GET A ROOM, yes, GET A POODLE, no (despite the fact that a human being might, in fact, GET A POODLE). The clue is also kind of dumb; it makes assumptions about what actors want to do (28D: What every actor would probably like to do). So that answer is a bit ridiculous ... whereas FAT ELVIS is just mean (36D: The King, late in his career). It's also not really a thing unless you clue it as the colloquial term for the Elvis stamp the public *didn't* vote for. Elvis definitely got fat, but FAT ELVIS was not a phrase of any standing until the whole stamp vote thing (26 years ago this month). FAT ELVIS is a loser in a national stamp vote. I could accept a stamp clue; but even then it's pretty insulting. Without a stamp clue, well, I OBJECT (19A: Court interruption). Also, I probably would've changed BEERY to LEERY because I just don't think anyone says BEERY (47D: Like pub patrons). But like I said, the rest of this thing sizzles so I'll take this one, FAT ELVIS, WIN AN OSCAR and all.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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