Controversial food preservative for short / WED 3-7-18 / Women's rights activist Mott / Eazy-E collaborator informally

Constructor: Natan Last, Andy Kravis and the J.A.S.A. Crossword Class

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium


THEME: PARALLEL PARKING (57A: Driving test challenge ... or a hint to this puzzle's circled letters) — two car makes are "parked""parallel" to (i.e. directly alongside) one another three times

Theme answers:

• CLAUDIUS
• UPFORDISCUSSION

•   DOMINI
• ITSHOPELESS

• CHRISMARTIN
•    SHONDA

Word of the Day: TONG (25D: Chinese secret society) —

noun

1. a Chinese association or secret society in the US, frequently associated with underworld criminal activity. (google)

this is actually an AUDI next to a FORD; please respect my photo research

Winced a lot at the fill, but when I looked up at the end and saw the theme, I thought it was pretty clever. Two cars alongside each other is not, of course, PARALLEL PARKING—it's just .... parking—and the fact of parallelness is not what's remarkable about the theme—technically all Across answers are "parallel" to all others (see also Downs). But I still think the visual of two car makes, whose names are exactly the same length, pulled up right next to each other, works OK. No one in the U.S. drives an OPEL, so points off for lack of realism. SMART is not nearly, not by a long long shot, as common a make as the others, but in cities they will have a certain prominence, so I'm fine with their being here. Totally forgot CHRISMARTIN's name (42A: Lead singer of Coldplay, once married to Gwyneth Paltrow), but that's on me. I'm allergic to Coldplay. So the theme is functional and even cute, so good. The fill holds up in most places, but things started out grim with BHT over AAA, and then with DRE EEL and ESS in the next section, I worried about what kind of crosswordese hellscape I might be driving into. PSIS OTOE! But the only bit of fill that really made me shout "No!" at the puzzle was IRED (24D: Plenty angry), which should be removed from all crossword wordlists and then buried under three feet of concrete. It's a non-word holdover from darker times and I don't want to see it ever again (we all have words like this—my friend Doug *refuses* to put ÉTÉ (or worse, ÉTÉS) in his puzzles; I would submit to him that at least ÉTÉ is a real word that humans actually use, albeit only in Francophone countries). TEN-PENNY is absurd—what am I, a nail scholar?—but [Denoting a 3" nail...] reads so much like a parody of an obscure crossword clue that I kinda like it. At least it made me laugh.


Really loved "DON'T EVEN!" (41A: "You're really testing my patience right now ...") and while I didn't really love DOMINI, I really loved its clue (22A: D as in dates?) (because A.D. "in dates" stands for "anno DOMINI") (I mean, you probably knew that, but I'm explaining it anyway because not all solvers always understand all the trickiness) (and then I get mail) (I'm not talking down to you, I swear). EZINES will always be terrible (and bygone), but the clue was nice (in the sense of "cleverly misleading"). I was thinking 60A: Web issues was referring somehow to problems with my browser or internet service, not of "issues" of a maga-ZINE that come out E-lectronically. Got slowed down because I thought the gear was CAMO—couldn't accept that there was an "S" on the end (17D: Paintball gear, familiarly) (I obviously don't paintball or wear CAMO(S), ever ... no, wait—actually, my hiking boots are camo! Hunters will never see my feet! It's awesome!).

Remember, it's *OH* MY LORD but *AW* RATS. Also, apparently it's *SHA*LALA and not *TRA*LALA (learned this the hard way) (50A: Refrain syllables). OK bye. Good luck with your latest snowpocalypse, northeasterners. We're missing the brunt of it here in Binghamton (just 4" expected), but *just* east of us, yikes. Stay inside and do crosswords!

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]