Baroque artist Guido / SAT 5-13-17 / Tree-tapping spigot / Ignorant middle class per HL Mencken / Yantra sacred hindu diagram formed by nine interlocking triangles

Constructor: Jeff Chen

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging

THEME: none 

Word of the Day: SPILE (31D: Tree-tapping spigot) —

Very tough. Lots of vaguely clued answers, many of them niche slang (NOOB) or proper nouns (RITZ BITS). Luckily, there were gimmes scattered all over the place, but even then, this was rough going. You'd think that when you get ZZTOP handed to you as a gimme, very early, you'd be in business. But strangely, neither "Z" did anything for me. I kept thinking of CHEEZ-ITS at 1A: Tiny Cheese sandwiches, of a sort, and ZYZZYVA at 14A: Nest-raiding insect. I honestly don't know what RITZ BITS are or that they come in ... flavors? ... so, yeah, rough. So strange to be handed ZZTOP and have the only letter that really opens anything up for you be ... the "P"—got POI / TARO right away, but then got nothing in the NW. Moved over and dropped SPOOL at 9A: A thread winds around it (as I was supposed to—that is as intentionally-designed a trap as you're ever going to see), but then corrected to RITE / ANTED and finally got moving for real in the NE. But then I could not move into the center easily at all. Even the CAND- at 10D: Christmas decoration wasn't telling me much. Me: "CANDLE ... something?"


Rebooted with EAVES / ASTERS. Then nothing. Then ISLES (only one letter wrong!) ISTO TACH OSHA and I was in business in the SE. Briefly. Died there too. Problems all over with moving from section to section, because I didn't know most of the long connective answers. BOOBO- was never ever gonna give me BOOBOISIE (5D: Ignorant middle class, per H. L. Mencken). Only word I could think of was BOOBOCRACY (or BOOBOCRATS?). Didn't fit. And ELDERWAND? Forget it. I mean, no, wait, don't forget it, because after ELDER-, I actually guessed WAND pretty easily, but still, niche niche niche answers, everywhere. But in the end the most dangerous answers were the vague ones. I had to bring the whole puzzle down around 36A: One likely to have a large collection of albums to find the STAMP in RARE STAMP DEALER. I laughed out loud as I wrote it in. "SPILE!? LOL, OK, whatever you say, puzzle." And worst of all was the LEAD in LEAD GLASS (58A: High-quality window composition). Had L--- GLASS, and every single cross was bad / iffy. DEE? (59D: River that forms part of the England/Wales border) TANG? (53D: Strong, sharp smell) RENI!?!?! (52D: Baroque artist Guido) That "E" in RENI was a guess. Could easily have been a Natick for me, as LOAD GLASS seemed like something and RONI seemed like *Much* more or a real name than RENI. But in the end LOAD just felt (and was!) wrong. Lasting image of this puzzle for me will be some guy named RENI out checking his SPILEs for sap.


Here's someone else who got screwed by SPILE (and LEAD)

Gimmes:

• "I BELIEVE I CAN FLY" (39A: Grammy-winning R. Kelly hit of 1996)— thank god for this one. Having the "V" from EAVES gave me some help, but honestly there's only one "hit" of his that comes to mind and it's this song. Wait, was "Trapped in the Closet" a hit?

• SELMA (34D: "The Simpsons" aunt)— still useful to have a vast knowledge of the "Simpsons" universe.
• TRI (25A: Ironman race, briefly)— tiny word, but opened up RABIN and then TRICK / KNEE, bam bam.
• LARA (49D: Boris Pasternak heroine)— just when the SW was looking like a dark empty disaster, along comes LARA... 
• IRENE (27D: Woman's name meaning "peace") — IRENE is the most common five-letter woman's name in crossword history, and this bit of etymological trivia really comes in handy, trust me.

THE INDIE 500 crossword tournament is happening SATURDAY, JUNE 3, 2017 (i.e. *in three weeks*), in Washington, D.C., and registration is open open open. This is one of two tournaments I try never to miss (the other is Lollapuzzoola, in NYC, in August). Indie is such a welcoming, fun place to be, and the puzzle constructor slate for the tournament this year looks amazing (talented *and* diverse!—check it out!). This a great tournament for veterans and rookies alike. Don't be afraid of your own nerddom. Register now. You'll be happy you did.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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